LVI. De vitio inconstantiae.

LVI. De vitio inconstantiae.

How can I walk along one path when I don't see a single thing before me, and when the pastures where I might feed are not given to me? Where I seek faith, I find it not; and those whom I consider my friends are my enemies; and in those where I find friendship, they hardly stick by me, and for this reason, I cannot have any lasting bond of stability. For just as each person shows themselves to me, so I will reveal myself to them; and if I were to submit myself more to them, they would all trample me down. I praise what I want to praise, and I despise what seems worthless to me, and I hide from what I fear; thus, I hold on to everything according to my own will, just as the Jews did, who heard Moses but later refused to listen to him, only hearing what they saw and believing it; and just like Balaam, who praised the Jews and prepared other friends for himself; and as the pagans did, who found many things in idols that they wanted to discover. I test what I can prove; and in many questions, I seek out everything, holding on to some part of all these things, so that I don't fail, because if I didn't do this, I wouldn't know what I would be. For heaven doesn't speak to me, the earth doesn't help me, and no other creature tells me to go with it. So inconstancy speaks in all things it governs, since its eyes are blind to faith and its ears are deaf to truth. Its tongue is mute to the legal precepts, and its heart is stone-like toward the love of God. For it has no faith either in God or in people, but is like an idol that neglects God and deceives people with many whispers. Let those who love God and fear man flee from this, and cast away the deception of pretense, and let them pursue only what is stable and firm, both according to men and according to God. These things are said about the souls of the repentant, who are being purified and saved; they are faithful, and let the faithful pay attention to them, and let them keep these in mind as good knowledge. 73. And I saw other spirits of that multitude, who were all crying out, saying: 'We will inhabit heaven, because Lucifer will stand in his honor.' These people lead their care to earthly things, and they insist entirely on worldly matters.