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Audi Filia (Hear, O Daughter)/Book 1 · Libro espiritual sobre el verso «Audi, filia, et vide»
Chapter 8AudiFilia.1.8

Capítulo 8. Por qué medios suele engañar él demonio a los hombres espirituales con este enemigo de nuestra carne; y del modo que se debe tener para no dejarnos engañar.

The Subtle Snares of Spiritual Familiarity

The devil often uses seemingly holy conversations to lead the soul into disordered attachments and fleshly temptations.

You must be on your guard: the falls of devout people are not recognized by them at the start, and for that reason they are all the more to be feared. At first it seems to them that by talking with each other they feel profit in their souls; and trusting in this, they make a habit—as if it were a safe thing—of seeking conversation more often. From that conversation a love is born in their hearts that captivates them somewhat, makes them distressed when they don't see each other, and lets them rest only in seeing and speaking with each other. And after this comes the stage of letting each other know the love they feel; and in that, and in other talks no longer as spiritual as the first ones, they take pleasure in talking for a while. Little by little the conversation that at first would have helped their souls they now feel holds them captive—through thinking of each other often, through the care and desire to see each other from time to time, and through sending each other affectionate gifts and sweet greetings or letters: which things, with other such tender softnesses, as Saint Jerome says, holy love does not have.1 From these links, one after another, such ends usually follow that they learn—at great cost—that the beginnings and middle stages of the conversation, which they first took to be from God because they felt no evil, were nothing but the devil's crafty deceptions. He put them at ease first so he could later catch them in the snare he had hidden.2 And so, after they have fallen, they learn that “man and woman are nothing but fire and tow,” and that the devil works to bring them together; once together, he uses a thousand means and arts to blow on them, kindling the fires of the flesh here, only to carry them to the fires of hell later.3

Prudence in Choosing a Confessor

A maiden must exercise strict caution and discernment in selecting a confessor, prioritizing maturity and reputation to protect her own soul.

Therefore, maiden, flee familiarity with every man, and keep until the end of your life the good custom you have taken up: never to be alone with any man except your confessor; and even that, only as long as you are confessing—and even then, say briefly what is needed, without bringing in other conversation, fearing the account you must give to the strict Judge for the words you speak or hear. And you must avoid this all the more in confession, seeing that it is meant to take away sins already committed, not to commit new ones, nor to grow sick from the medicine.4 The Bride of Christ, especially if she is young, must not choose a confessor lightly, but should look carefully to ensure he is of a very good and proven life and reputation, and of mature age. In this way, your conscience will be secure before God, and your reputation clear and unstained before people; for understand that you need both of these things to live up to the height of the state of virginity.5 When you find a confessor like that, thank our Lord, and obey and love him as a gift from Him.

Keeping the Heart for the Bridegroom

Spiritual love for a director must not displace the soul's exclusive devotion to Christ, the true Bridegroom.

But take great care: even though love is good because it is spiritual, there can still be excess in it by going too far, and it can put the one who has it in danger; for it is easy for spiritual love to pass into carnal love. If you don't rein this in, your heart will end up as preoccupied as a married woman's is with her husband and children. You can see that this would be a grave offense against the loyalty you owe our Lord, whom you have taken as your Bridegroom. As Saint Augustine says: "Christ Jesus must occupy the entire place in your heart that a husband would have occupied had you married."6 So, don't lodge your spiritual Father in the innermost part of your heart; keep him near your heart instead, as a friend of the Bridegroom, not as a spouse. Your memory of him should be for putting his teaching into practice, without dwelling on him further—view him as a gift from God to help you unite yourself wholly to your heavenly Bridegroom, without him inserting himself into that union.7 You should be ready to do without him patiently if God so ordains it—in Him alone your hope and support should be placed.8 What we read in Saint Jerome regarding the love and familiarity between him and Saint Paula was in keeping with these rules. Although many things are lawful and safe for those who have holiness and mature years that are not so for someone who lacks one or the other, or both. This is how you should deal with the spiritual father you choose, provided he is the kind of person I have described to you.9

The Necessity of a Good Reputation

Maintaining a spotless reputation is essential for the Bride of Christ, as demonstrated by the example of the Virgin Mary.

But if you can't find someone like that, it's far better to confess and receive Communion two or three times a year, keeping company with God and your good books in your cell, than to risk your reputation by confessing frequently. If, as Saint Augustine says, "a good reputation is necessary for all of us before our neighbors," how much more necessary is it for the maidens of Christ? Their reputation is very delicate, as Saint Ambrose says; so much so that having a confessor who lacks the qualities already named stains their reputation. Because this stain falls on such precious and delicate cloth, it looks very ugly and must not be tolerated in any way.10 And so that those who content themselves with saying, "There is no wrong at all; my conscience is clean," and hold cheap the reputation of their chastity, might not take cover from the claim that some false charge of unchastity was laid on the most holy Virgin Mary, her most blessed Son willed that she be married, choosing rather that people take Him for the son of Joseph—though He was not—than that men say anything sinister of His most holy Mother if they saw her have a child and not be married.1112 Therefore, those who don't care to remove such scandals should look for someone else to shelter under. What they can learn from the most holy Virgin Mary and from holy women is purity within, and a good reputation and good example without, while maintaining every careful reserve in their dealings.13

Interior Freedom and Holy Simplicity

The soul must remain free from unnecessary attachments to maintain its purity for God, while practicing a balanced and prudent simplicity in all dealings.

And even if none of these things came from too much conversation, it still ought to be avoided; because with the thoughts it brings, it takes away the soul's freedom to fly freely in thought to God. And by taking from it that purity which the secret place of the heart—where Christ alone wants to dwell—ought to have, it seems the heart is not so alone and closed to every creature as befits the bridal chamber of so high a Bridegroom; nor does it seem to have perfect purity of chastity, since there is in it the memory of a man.14 And you must understand that what has been said to you applies when there is excess in familiarity, or when scandal arises from it; because when none of these things is present, you must not deal with those with whom it is right to deal with a troubled or frightened heart—for from that the same temptation often springs—but deal with a holy and prudent simplicity, neither careless nor malicious.

Read the original Latin

Debéis estar advertida, que las caídas de las personas devotas no son al principio entendidas de ellos, y por esto son más de temer. Paréceles primero, que de comunicarse sienten provecho en sus ánimas, y fiados de aquesto usan, como cosa segura, frecuentar más veces la conversación, y de ella se engendra en sus corazones un amor que los cautiva algún tanto, y les hace tomar pena cuando no se ven, y descansan con verse y hablarse. Y tras esto viene el dar a entender el uno al otro el amor que se tienen; en lo cual y en otras pláticas, ya no tan espirituales como las primeras, se huelgan estar hablando algún rato; y poco a poco la conversación que primero aprovecharía a sus ánimas, ya sienten que las tienen cautivas, con acordarse muchas veces uno de otro, y con el cuidado y deseo de verse algunas veces, y de enviarse amorosos presentes y dulces encomiendas o cartas; «las cuales cosas, con otras semejantes blanduras, como San Jerónimo dice, el santo amor no las tiene.» Y de estos eslabones de uno en otro suelen venir tales fines, que les da muy a su costa a entender qué los principios y medios de la conversación, que primero tenían por cosa de Dios, sin sentir mal movimiento ninguno, no eran otro que falsos engaños del astuto demonio, que primero los aseguraba, para después tomarlos en el lazo que les tenía escondido. Y así, después de caídos, aprenden que «hombre y mujer no son sino fuego y estopa», y que el demonio trabaja por los juntar; y juntos, soplarles con mil maneras y artes, para encenderlos aquí en fuegos de carne, y después llevarlos a los del infierno.

Por tanto, doncella, huid familiaridad de todo varon, y guardad hasta el fin de la vida la buena costumbre que habéis tomado, de nunca estar sola con hombre ninguno, salvo con vuestro confesor; y esto, no más de cuanto os confesáis, y aun entonces decir con brevedad lo que es menester, sin meter otras platicas: temiendo la cuenta que de la habla que habláredes o que oyéredes habéis de dar al estrecho Juez. Y tanto más habéis de evitar esto en la confesión, cuanto más es para quitar los pecados hechos y no para cometer otros de nuevo, ni para enfermar con la medicina. Y la Esposa de Cristo, especialmente si es moza, no fácilmente ha de elegir confesor, mas mirando que sea de muy buena y aprobada vida, y fama, y de madura edad. Y de esta manera estará vuestra conciencia segura delante de Dios, y vuestra fama clara y sin mancha delante de los hombres; porque tened entendido que entrambas cosas habéis menester para cumplir con el alteza del estado de virginidad.

Y cuando tal confesor halláredes, dad gracias a nuestro Señor, y obedecedle y amadle como a cosa que Él os dio.

Mas mirad mucho que aunque el amor sea bueno por ser espiritual, puede haber exceso en ello por ser demasiado, y puede poner en peligro al que lo tiene; porque fácil cosa es el amor espiritual pasar en carnal. Y si en esto no tenéis freno, vendréis a tener un corazón tan ocupado, como lo tienen las mujeres casadas con sus maridos e hijos. Y ya vos veis que esto sería gran desacato contra la lealtad que debéis a nuestro Señor, que por Esposo tomasteis. Porque, como dice San Agustín: «Todo aquel lugar ha de ocupar en vuestro corazón Jesucristo, que si os casárades había de ocupar el marido.» No tengáis, pues, metido en lo más dentro de vuestro corazón a vuestro Padre espiritual, mas tenedle cerca de vuestro corazón, como a amigo del Desposado, no como a esposo. Y la memoria que de él tengáis sea para obrar su doctrina, sin parar más en él, teniéndole por cosa que Dios os dio para que os ayudase a juntaros toda con vuestro celestial Esposo, sin que él se entremeta en la junta. Y debéis estar aparejada a carecer de él con paciencia, si Dios lo ordenare, en el cual sólo ha de estar colocada vuestra esperanza y arrimo. Y lo que en San Jerónimo leemos del amor y familiaridad que entre él y Santa Paula hubo, conforme a estas reglas fue.

Aunque muchas cosas son lícitas y seguras a los que tienen santidad y edad madura, que no lo son a quien les falta lo uno o lo otro, o entrambas cosas. De esta manera, pues, os habéis de haber con el Padre espiritual que eligiéredes, siendo tal cual os he dicho.

Mas si tal no lo halláredes, muy mejor es que os confeséis y comulguéis en el año dos o tres veces y tengáis cuenta con Dios y con vuestros buenos libros en vuestra celda, que no, por confesar muchas veces, poner vuestra fama a algún riesgo. Porque si, como dice San Agustín: «La buena fama nos es necesaria a todos para con los prójimos», ¿cuánto más necesaria será a las doncellas de Cristo? La fama de las cuales es muy delicada, según San Ambrosio dice; y tanto, que tener confesor a quien falte alguna calidad de las dichas pone una mancha en su fama de ellas, que por ser en paño tan preciado y delicado parece muy fea, y en ninguna manera se debe sufrir. Y porque las que se contentan con decir: «No hay mal ninguno; limpia está mi conciencia», y tienen en poco la fama de su honestidad, no se pudiesen favorecer de que a la sacratísima Virgen María le hubiesen impuesto alguna infamia de acuestas, quiso su benditísimo Hijo que ella fuese casada, eligiendo antes que lo tuviesen a Él por hijo de José, no lo siendo, que no que dijesen los hombres alguna cosa siniestra de su sacratísima Madre, si la vieran tener hijo y no ser casada. Y por tanto, las que estos escándalos no curan de quitar, busquen con quien se amparar; que lo que de la sacratísima Virgen María y de las santas mujeres pueden aprender es limpieza de dentro, y buena fama y buen ejemplo de fuera, con todo recatamiento en la conversación.

Y aunque de las demasiadas conversaciones ninguna cosa de éstas se siguiera, aun se debían huir; porque con pensamientos que traen, quitan la libertad del ánima para libremente volar con el pensamiento a Dios. Y quitándole aquella pureza que el secreto lugar del corazón, donde Cristo solo quiere morar, había de tener, parece que no está tan solo y cerrado a toda criatura como a tálamo de tan alto Esposo conviene estar; ni del todo parece haber perfecta pureza de castidad, pues hay en él memoria de hombre.

Y habéis de entender que lo que se os ha dicho es cuando hay exceso en la familiaridad o nace escándalo de ella; porque cuando no hay cosa de éstas, no habéis de tratar con quien conviene con turbado o amedrentado corazón; porque de esto suele muchas veces nacer la misma tentación; mas tratar con una santa y prudente simplicidad no descuidada ni maliciosa.

Scripture echoes

  1. Matt.12.36But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they will give an account for it on the day of judgment.

Notes

  1. 1«el santo amor no las tiene» rendered as “holy love does not have [them]”; the Jerome citation is transmitted as a proverbial spiritual rule about pure charity, not as a scriptural verse.
  2. 2Source «qué los principios» treated as older orthography for «que los principios» (“that the beginnings…”); the sense is declarative, not interrogative.
  3. 3«fuego y estopa» kept as the traditional proverb “fire and tow” (tinder): highly flammable flax waste that catches at a spark.
  4. 4«esto» continues the previous sentence's warning against extra talk and familiar conversation, now applied specifically within the confessional.
  5. 5Source has «el alteza» (masculine article with feminine noun); sense is clear: the dignity/height of the virgin state.
  6. 6Patristic citation attributed to Saint Augustine; not a biblical quotation. Bridal imagery of exclusive spousal belonging to Christ.
  7. 7«junta» rendered as spiritual union/joining with the heavenly Bridegroom; «sin que él se entremeta en la junta» means the director must not insert himself into that union.
  8. 8«en el cual» refers to God (Dios), not the spiritual father: hope and support rest in God alone.
  9. 9Spanish «os habéis de haber con» is an older idiom for how one is to conduct oneself toward, or deal with, a person; rendered as «deal with» for natural modern English without softening the obligation force of «habéis de».
  10. 10"paño tan preciado y delicado" is rendered as precious, delicate cloth: a metaphor for a maiden's fragile good name.
  11. 11"infamia de acuestas" is rendered as a false charge of unchastity (Golden Age sense of sexual scandal), not mere general disgrace.
  12. 12"honestidad" here means chastity/honorable purity, not mere truthfulness.
  13. 13"busquen con quien se amparar" continues the irony of s4: if they will not guard reputation themselves, they must seek some other shelter—Mary is not available as an excuse. Rendered as "look for someone else to shelter under."
  14. 14«memoria de hombre» is rendered as ‘the memory of a man’—the lingering recollection of a male person in the heart after conversation, not abstract humanity.

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