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← Speculum caritatis (The Mirror of Charity)/Book 3 · Speculum caritatis — Liber III
Chapter 26SpCar.3.26

De affectu naturali; et quid sit diligere in Deum, quid propter Deum

The Paradox of Hating and Loving

Natural affection is unavoidable, yet the highest virtue lies in not being led by it, as Christ's call to hate self and family stands alongside the Apostle's command to provide for one's own.

Let us now look more carefully at what measure should be observed in natural affection. This affection — just as it is impossible not to feel it — is also a mark of the highest virtue not to be led by it. For no one has ever hated his own self; and yet, 'Whoever comes to me,' says the Savior, 'and does not hate his own soul, cannot be my disciple' (Luke✦1 14). Similarly, 'Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother cannot be my disciple' (Ibid.).✦2 . And on the contrary, the Apostle says: 'Anyone who does not provide for his own, and especially for members of his household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever' (1 Tim.✦3 5).

Two Loves: Nature and Reason

Christ and the Apostle do not contradict each other, because there are two kinds of love: one according to natural affection and the other according to reason.

What then? Surely a teacher and a disciple, a servant and a Lord, truth itself and the enemy of truth — we can't say they held contrary views? God forbid! We need to distinguish, then, between the two kinds of love we spoke of above: one based on natural affection, the other based on reason. Of course it's natural for a person to feel affection for himself and his own; but he shouldn't let that affection be governed by mere natural feeling — it should be governed by reason. This natural affection is what the Apostle is pointing to when he says: No one ever hated his own flesh (Eph.✦ 5). But love driven by natural affection is forbidden by the authority of the Savior himself, who says: Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, and even his own soul, cannot be my disciple (Luke✦

The Face of Self-Love

Paul's warnings about self-love and lovers of pleasure reveal that love according to mere affect is disordered, always seeking what is soft and pleasant while fleeing what is hard.

14). Love according to reason is indicated when the same Apostle says: Anyone who does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim.✦ 5). Love according to affect is exposed when the same Paul, foretelling future evils, says among other things: People will be lovers of themselves (2 Tim.✦ 3). That he here understood love according to affect, the following words make clear: For, he says, people will be lovers of themselves, greedy, boastful, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God (ibid.)✦ . For this affect always suggests what is soft and pleasant; what is delightful and tender, what is voluptuous, what is delicate, it eagerly embraces; but what is difficult, what is harsh, what is contrary to the will, it flees and avoids with utter horror.

Affect as a Beastly Love

Natural affect strips a person of reason and reduces them to a beast-like state, but Christ's words about losing and hating one's life, together with Augustine's paradox, show that right hatred is true love.

For this reason, the pursuit of this affection is a perverse love: it strips a person of his humanity, clothes him with a beast's nature, and in a certain way buries and hides whatever belongs to reason, to honor, and finally to genuine good. This love properly belongs to beasts. It is excused in children, for reason is not yet instilled in them; in beasts, reason is dormant. In short, the Savior himself draws a clear enough distinction between these two loves: 'Whoever loves his life will lose it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life' (John 12:25).✦ 12). As that saint says — Augustine — Tract. 51 on John.) 'If you have loved wrongly, then you have hated; if you have hated rightly, then you have loved.'

Loving in the World, Loving in God

Whoever loves according to natural affection hates his own soul, but whoever hates according to affection loves according to reason, and this distinction clarifies the difference between love that is in God and love for God's sake.

"For whoever loves out of natural affection will also hate, because whoever loves iniquity hates his own soul" (Ps.✦ 10). But whoever hates out of affection, loves out of reason. To this He added "in this world," because whatever is in the world is either the desire of the flesh, or the desire of the eyes, or the pride of life (1✦ John 2). So whoever loves his own soul out of natural affection loves in this world — because he loves in the desire of the flesh, in the desire of the eyes, in the pride of life, all of which natural affection urges on him. With this distinction, that other question is also resolved — the one some people ask: what exactly is the difference between the love that is in God and the love that is shown for God's sake? Natural affection, of course, is not taken up for God's sake; it arises in the soul itself, either carnally or by circumstance.

The Rule of Reason Over Affection

Natural affection must be present and felt but governed by reason in all things, as shown by Joseph's tears over his brothers, which served a higher purpose when reason guided them.

So if there's someone your heart turns to with a natural, sweet pull — someone you love with your whole heart simply because of that feeling — that person is loved neither in God nor for God's sake, but for his own sake. But if the person drawn in by that natural affection is also taken up into the love of God — since the love itself gets its flavor from affection, yet how it's expressed depends on the guidance of reason — then this love isn't first adopted for God's sake, but is wholesomely lived out in God.4 On the other hand, someone whom natural affection itself rejects and shuns — if we've done what we should in light of the divine commandment, and have given whatever reason has called for, as far as it was needed — that person is loved not for his own sake, but only for God's sake. So a friend you can't help but love — let him be loved in God. An enemy you can't love for his own sake — let him be loved for God's sake.5 The first from affection; the second from reason. This, then, is how to handle natural affection: let it be present and felt, but in all things and through all things, let it be governed by the moderation of reason. In fact, holy Joseph first showed his natural affection toward his brothers with tears (Gen. 43) — and if the holy man had followed that affection with reason set aside, his brothers would never have been cleansed from the crime of their betrayal by wholesome grief.6

Christ's Compassion and the Corruption of Shepherds

Christ wept over Jerusalem yet punished its crimes with justice, a model that Church rulers betray when they indulge their carnal affections and squander Christ's blood on worldly luxury.

The Savior too, having put on a tender affection toward his own, wept over the city that was about to fall with wonderful compassion (Luke 19), nevertheless he punished the crimes of that same city, chastising the injury of its great calamity with the strictness of justice. Would that Church rulers restrained their affection by this rule — many of whom, embracing their own blood-relations too carnally, not only do not restrain them from the vanity and pleasure of the world with any strictness, but from the very price of the blood of Christ, by which they should satisfy their damnable desires, they provide through wicked presumption. Alas, the grief! Such is the experience of entering the households of certain bishops of our time — and, what shames us more, of cowled religious — as though one were entering Sodom and Gomorrah. Out come certain long-haired and effeminate men, their buttocks half-bare, dressed in the fashion of a prostitute — of whom Scripture says: 'And they placed,' it says, 'boys in the brothel' (Joel 3). And into the desires of such men your blood is poured out, Lord Jesus, your cross is raised, your wounds are laid bare, the price of your death is consumed.

The Blood Poured Out and the Silence of God

Christ's wounds are mocked for the sake of worldly pleasures while the poor suffer, yet God sees and will one day cry out like one in labor before the argument returns to its proper course.

So that these men may have running dogs, flying birds, and foaming horses, your flanks are laid bare among the poor, your lashes are mocked, your entrails are poured out. You see these things, my Jesus, you see these things and you are silent — but will you always be silent? Rather, you say, I will speak as one in labor — Isaiah.✦ 42.) But let us return to the matter at hand.

Read the original Latin

Jam nunc in naturali affectu quis modus servandus sit, diligentius inquiramus. Hunc sane affectum sicut non admittere impossibile est, ita non sequi, summae virtutis est. Nemo enim seipsum odio habuit; et tamen : Qui venit ad me, ait Salvator, et non odit animam suam, non potest meus esse discipulus (Luc. xiv). Similiter, Qui venit, inquit, ad me, et non odit patrem et matrem, non potest meus esse discipulus (Ibid.) . Et contra Apostolus : Qui suorum, maxime autem domesticorum curam non habet, fidem negavit, et est infideli deterior (I Tim. v).

Quid ergo? Contraria sensisse aestimandi sunt magister et discipulus, servus et Dominus, ipsa veritas et inimicus veritatis ? Absit! Distinguendi sunt ergo duo illi amores, de quibus superius locuti sumus; alter secundum affectum, alter secundum rationem. Naturale quidem est, quod homo erga se et suos affectui habet, sed amorem secundum affectum habere non debet ; secundum rationem vero habere debet. Affectus ipse ostenditur, cum per Apostolum dicitur : Nemo unquam carnem suam odio habuit (Ephes. v). Amor autem secundum affectum, ipsius Salvatoris auctoritate interdicitur, qui ait : Qui venit ad me, et non odit patrem et matrem, adhuc autem et animam suam, non potest meus esse discipulus (Luc.

xiv). Amor secundum rationem indicitur, cum idem dicit Apostolus : Qui suorum, maxime autem domesticorum curam non habet, fidem negavit, et est infideli deterior (I Tim. v). Amor secundum affectum arguitur, cum futura mala praenuntians idem Paulus, ait inter cetera : Et erunt homines se ipsos amantes (II Tim. iii). Quod vero hic amorem secundum affectum intellexerit, docent sequentia : Erunt enim, inquit, homines se ipsos amantes, cupidi, elati; voluptatum amatores magis quam Dei (ibid.) . Semper etenim affectus iste mollia suggerit et suavia; quod jucundum et tenerum, quod voluptuosum, quod delicatum, libenter amplectitur; quod vero arduum, quod asperum, quod voluntati contrarium, omni horrore refugit et evitat.

Quocirca affectus hujus exsecutio amor perversus est, hominem exuens homine, formam induens bestialem ; quod rationis, quod honestatis, postremo quod utilitatis obruens quodammodo et abscondens. Hic amor proprie convenit bestiis ; excusatur in pueris : nam illis ratio non infunditur; in istis sopitur. Denique utrumque hunc amorem breviter satis Salvator ipse distinguens : Qui amat, inquit, animam suam, perdet eam; et qui odit animam suam in hoc mundo, in vitam aeternam inveniet eam (Joan. xii). Proinde, ut ait sanctus ille (Aug. tract. 51 in Joan.) : « Si male amaveris, tunc odisti ; si bene oderis, tunc amasti.

» Qui enim amat secundum affectum, utique odit, quia qui diligit iniquitatem, odit animam suam (Psal. x). Qui vero odit secundum affectum secundum rationem diligit. Ad hoc enim addidit : In hoc mundo; quia quidquid in mundo est, aut concupiscentia carnis est, aut concupiscentia oculorum, aut superbia vitae (I Joan. ii). Qui itaque animam suam secundum affectum amat, in hoc mundo amat, quia in concupiscentia carnis, in concupiscentia oculorum, in superbia vitae, quae omnia affectus suggerit, amat. Hac distinctione id quoque solvitur, quod quaerunt quidam : quid videlicet distet inter amorem qui in Deo, et illum qui exhibetur propter Deum. Affectus quippe non propter Deum assumitur ; sed in ipsa anima aut carnaliter aut accidentaliter oritur.

Proinde si ei cui animus quadam spontanea ac dulci inclinatione sese refundit, totus amor secundum ipsum affectum exhibeatur : iste nec in Deo, nec propter Deum, sed potius propter se amatur. Si vero is quem affectus iste complectitur, in Dei dilectionem pariter assumitur; amor quia ipse ex affectu sapiat, sed ejus exhibitio ex rationis moderamine pendeat : hujus utique amor non primo propter Deum assumitur, sed in Deo salubriter exercetur. Porro ei quem affectus ipse respuit et evitat, si consideratione divini praecepti nosmetipsos, ut oportet, exhibuerimus, ac quidquid dictaverit ratio, prout indiguerit, impenderimus, iste non propter se, sed tantum propter Deum diligitur. Igitur amicus qui non potest non diligi, diligatur in Deo; inimicus qui non propter se potest diligi, diligatur propter Deum. Ille ex affectu; iste ex ratione. Hic itaque modus in naturali servetur affectu, ut habeatur quidem et sentiatur; sed in omnibus et per omnia rationis moderamine temperetur. Denique Joseph sanctus prius lacrymis naturalem erga fratres protestatur affectum (Gen. xliii), quem si vir sanctus ratione postposita sequeretur, nequaquam fratres salubri dolore a proditionis crimine purgarentur.

Salvator quoque pium erga suos indutus affectum, ruituram civitatem compassione mirabili deploravit (Luc. xix), nihilominus tamen ejusdem civitatis scelera, summae calamitatis injuria ex rigore justitiae castigavit. Ad quam regulam utinam rectores Ecclesiae suum castigarent affectum, quorum multi domesticos sanguinis sui nimis carnaliter amplectentes, non solum eos a mundi vanitate et voluptate nullo rigore compescunt, imo ex ipso pretio sanguinis Christi, unde suas expleant libidines, damnabili praesumptione prospiciunt. Proh dolor! Sic est ingredi domos quorumdam episcoporum nostrorum, et, quod magis pudet, cucullatorum, quasi quis ingrediatur Sodomam et Gomorrham. Procedunt quidam capillati et effeminati seminudis natibus, cultu meretricio, de qualibus Scriptura : Et posuerunt, inquit, pueros in prostibulo (Joel. iii). Et in talium libidines tuus sanguis assumitur, Domine Jesu, erigitur crux tua, panduntur vulnera tua, insumitur pretium mortis tuae.

Ut isti habeant currentes canes, aves volantes, equos spumantes, nudantur in pauperibus latera tua, ridentur verbera tua, effunduntur viscera tua. Vides ista, Jesu meus, vides ista et taces; sed nunquid semper tacebis? Imo, inquis, ut parturiens loquar (Isa. xlii). Sed ad propositum redeamus.

Scripture echoes

  1. ↩Luke.14.26 — If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters — yes, even his own life — he cannot be my disciple.
  2. ↩Luke.14.26 — If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters — yes, even his own life — he cannot be my disciple.
  3. ↩1Tim.5.8 — But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
  4. ↩Eph.5.29 — For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.
  5. ↩Luke.14.26 — If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters — yes, even his own life — he cannot be my disciple.
  6. ↩1Tim.5.8 — But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
  7. ↩2Tim.3.2 — For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boasters, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
  8. ↩2Tim.3.2-2Tim.3.4 — For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boasters, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 2Tim.3.3 — without natural affection, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of good 2Tim.3.4 — traitors, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
  9. ↩John.12.25 — Whoever loves their life loses it, and whoever hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.
  10. ↩Ps.10.6 — He says in his heart, "I shall not be shaken, from generation to generation, I shall not encounter calamity."
  11. ↩1John.2.16 — For all that is in the world—the desire of the flesh and the desire of the eyes and the pride of life—is not from the Father, but is from the world.
  12. ↩Isa.42.14 — I have kept silent for a long time; I have held back and restrained myself; now I will cry out like a woman in labor; I will gasp and pant all at once.

Notes

  1. 1 ↩Quotation from Luke 14:26 (Vulgate). The Savior's words are rendered in a familiar scriptural cadence.
  2. 2 ↩Quotation from Luke 14:26 (Vulgate), parallel to the preceding citation.
  3. 3 ↩Quotation from 1 Timothy 5:8 (Vulgate).
  4. 4 ↩The distinction here is between love that originates in natural affect and is redirected toward God (exercised in God) versus love that is primarily chosen for God's sake. The Latin carefully preserves both the affective origin and the rational governance.
  5. 5 ↩The double negative 'non potest non diligi' (cannot not be loved) is rendered as 'cannot help but love' to preserve the sense of natural inevitability. The jussive subjunctive 'diligatur' is rendered as an exhortation: 'let him be loved.'
  6. 6 ↩The ablative absolute 'ratione postposita' (reason having been set aside) describes a counterfactual: Joseph did not suppress reason but used it to channel natural affection toward a salutary end — his brothers' repentance through grief.

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