In proximi dilectione quae consideratio habenda
Choosing Our Neighbor in God
We are to choose our neighbor for the sake of fellowship in God, but any disordered desire that follows stains the soundness of that choice.
Let us consider these same things in the love of our neighbor. So if we choose our neighbor for the sake of the fellowship of that fruit which is in God, this is a sound choice. But if a shameful desire or a disordered act follows this choice, the whole soundness of the choice is stained.
The Twofold Direction of Love
Unlike love of God, mutual love involves genuine need, so desire and action must reach in both directions—enjoying each other in God and God in each other.
In loving God, however, we don't serve our own interests, for God is our God and has no need of our goods; but in mutual love, since we do need each other, we must of necessity seek each other's good. Therefore this desire must reach toward both, and our action must likewise be exercised in two directions. For desire should be this: that we mutually enjoy each other in God, as is fitting, and that we mutually enjoy God in each other.
Caring for Body and Soul in Love
Since a person is both body and soul, love's activity should provide for both, and the more fervent and discerning one is, the more perfect in love.
Because a person consists of both body and soul, our activity, as far as our capacity allows, ought to provide for both. In these matters, the more fervent and discerning a person is, the more perfect they are in love.
The Sweetness and Measure of Love
Love's warmth makes it sweet, yet both affection and reason must guide its measure and direction, requiring careful discernment of which affections to follow.
But the warmer and more affectionate love is, the sweeter it's agreed to be. Just as affection sometimes moves us to these things and sometimes reason does, so each of them, in its own way, strives to set the measure and direction that desire calls for. So we need to look at this carefully, considering which of our affections should be followed and to what extent each one should be followed.
Read the original Latin
Haec eadem in proximi dilectione consideremus. Si ergo proximum ad ipsius fructus societatem, qui in Deo est, elegerimus, sana est ista electio. Sed hanc electionem si desiderium turpe aut actus inordinatus subsequitur, tota electionis sanitas maculatur. Verum in Dei dilectione nobis non ipsi consulimus, Deus enim noster est, et bonorum nostrorum non indiget : in mutua autem dilectione, quoniam mutuo indigemus, necesse est ut nobis invicem consulamus. Quocirca desiderium ipsum ad duo debet extendi, et actus nihilominus dupliciter exerceri. Debet quippe desiderium ad hoc esse ; ut, sicut decet, mutuo nobis fruamur in Deo; et ut Deo invicem fruamur in ipso. Quia vero homo et ex corpore constat, et ex anima ; actus utique noster, quantum facultas suppeditat, utrique debet prospicere. In his quanto quisque ferventior et prudentior, tanto utique et in charitate perfectior.
Quanto autem affectuosior, tanto charitas ipsa constat esse suavior. Sicut autem ad haec aliquando, ut diximus, affectus, aliquando movet ratio, ita utrumque ipsius desiderii modum actusque pro sui qualitate ordinare contendit. Proinde diligenti consideratione opus est ut de ipsis affectibus, quis sequendus sit, et in quantum sequendus sit, videamus.
Speculum caritatis (The Mirror of Charity) companion
Reorder one love at a time, daily
Use the study map with the free Chosen Portion app's daily readings to work through Aelred at a sustainable pace.
Aelred wrote the Mirror as a rule for daily interior discipline in community, and Chosen Portion carries that discipline forward as a short ordered reading each day.
- All 3 books and 102 chapters mapped into 4 weekly themes with page-level pointers
- Aelred's choice-motion-fruit test, turned into a one-page self-examination worksheet
- 16 discussion questions ready for personal journaling or a 4-session small group