MEDITATIO IV. Quomodo peccator excitet animam suam ad corrigenda peccata.
The Wounded Soul Called to Heal
The sinner is urged to gather the scattered senses, behold the wounds of sin, and resolve to amend life while God's mercy still waits.
My soul—wretched and foul—gather all your bodily senses back into yourself, and look more closely: see how grievously wounded and prostrate you are within. For while the immense goodness of your Creator still grants you life, while his ineffable mercy waits patiently and with great gentleness for your correction and fitting satisfaction, don't be sluggish or slow to heal your wounds, to correct your sins, to be reconciled to your Creator whom you have offended, to make peace with all his saints—whom, by offending their Creator and yours, their Lord and yours, you have made your adversaries.1 If you had always stood upright and pure, just as your Creator made you, and had clung unfailingly to his will as well as you could if you had wished, you would now be joyful and happy, passing through this present life in joy and happiness; and once that life was behind you and ended, joyful and happy with the help of the one who created you, you would possess the life and happiness that has no end.2 But now—unhappy and wretched soul—because you set aside the will of your Creator and clung miserably to your carnal pleasures, if you look earnestly and with great diligence, not caressing or sparing yourself, at how many evils and iniquities you are enveloped—and if, looking and repenting, you resolve to return to satisfaction and amendment—then first cast away from your inmost self the will to sin, and embrace and do those things that you know will please your Creator in all things.34
The Hardened Heart and the Justice That Rewards Repentance
The despairing sinner, feeling like stone, is answered with the truth that God's justice both punishes malice and rewards true repentance.
But perhaps you say to yourself, looking at the enormity of your crimes and despairing of pardon and forgiveness because of the constant foulness of your iniquities: How can I possibly amend myself any longer, since in nearly my whole life I do nothing but act against God's will, bent on every wickedness, every evil desire and evil work, always intent on them — and like a stone that neither iron can cut nor fire can soften, so hardened I lie in my sins? While, then, I examine the justice of my Creator more carefully, and with no less diligence contemplate the evil works I have always done, I know that I deserve to receive the torments and punishments that evil works merit — since He Himself is about to render to each according to their deeds. What you say is true, because God is a just judge who loves equity, and He inflicts torments on evil works and sins; but nevertheless, by that same justice with which He punishes those who persist in malice, He rewards with eternal recompense those who repent of evil and do good works. For this reason I warned you earlier: examine more carefully all your inner life and the things you do in public, and with no less diligence consider what end each of these things is heading toward. And I believe that if you do this constantly, pounding the hardness of your heart with recollections of these things as though with iron hammers — unless you are out of your mind — you will do the things from which you'll receive happiness and joy, and you will let go of the things from which you deserved torments and sorrow.
God's Relentless Sweetness Toward the Sinner
The sinner is reminded that God freely created, foreknew all sin, yet chose to make and still waits to restore the lost happiness of eternal life.
Because of this, I warn you again and again: without stopping, remind yourself how sweet and how good your Creator is toward you, how great his goodness has been — that he created you when you did not yet exist; and that he did not make you a brute animal or an unfeeling creature, but made you the kind of creature who could understand him and love him, and with him possess your own eternity, blessed and forever; and that he loved you so much that, even though he knew you would do many things against his will, he refused not to make you — he chose to make you, and to let you be; and that with such gentleness he still endures you, merciful and compassionate, waiting for your amendment. Your Creator is waiting — waiting, as I said, for your correction — because the one who was pleased to make you when you did not exist does not want to lose you in any way at any time; but he wants you to return to his most merciful compassion, and through true penitence, he wants to restore to you the happiness of eternal life, purified and set right, which you had lost through sin.
The Two Companions: Friend and Enemy
The soul is taught to discern in every action the presence of God who rejoices in good works and the devil who seeks to accuse and destroy.
Think, then, and think again about the great kindness your Creator has shown you, and rouse yourself — as is right — and direct all your senses toward his ineffable love. His love tolerates no foulness of vice, and it consents to no carnal pleasure of earthly desires dwelling alongside it. Where his love dwells, there is the deepest peace, the deepest stillness, and a great ease in all the doing and thinking by which eternal happiness is won. In all your actions and in all your thoughts, know for certain that two are present: one a friend, and the other your enemy. Your friend is your Creator, who rejoices over your good works; your enemy, however, is the devil, who mourns over those same good works of yours. The devil, always lying in wait for you, rejoices if he sees you doing evil, giving yourself over to vain thoughts and foolish efforts, so that he can accuse you before the heavenly Judge — drag you, accused and condemned, down to destruction with him. The devil, always eager for the destruction of the faithful, accuses them not only of the evil they do, but also tries to stain their good deeds — even those well-intentioned — by unjustly accusing them. But you — against his subtle deceptions and his cunning, full of many snares — be cautious, be vigilant, and call upon your Creator and most sweet Lord, that he may not allow you to be led astray by his tricks and illusions.
Shelter Under the Wings of Mercy
The sinner is invited to take refuge in God's sheltering wings, trusting that divine mercy exceeds all human imagining.
Take refuge under the shelter of his wings, away from the face of the wicked who afflict you—those bent on dragging you, broken and overthrown, down to death and destruction.✦✦✦56 Your Creator and your Lord is more merciful and compassionate than words can express or even imagination can grasp—so that no one is lost except through their own great guilt and their own great wickedness.78
From Natural Tenderness to the Divine Embrace
Natural parental and animal tenderness are shown to flow from God, whose healing compassion far exceeds all earthly love, crowning the restored soul as king and queen.
Father and mother in the flesh tend to have great tenderness for those they have borne; and if they see them afflicted by any grief or any bodily sorrow, they gladly spend themselves and their resources, if reason demands it, to restore their children to health. Many animals, too, do not fear to meet death more than once for their young, and so that their offspring may escape death, they themselves rush into death. But where does that natural tenderness in them come from, if not from the One who is the source of all tenderness, who wills that no one perish and takes no delight in the destruction of the dying? Our Creator, then — the source of tenderness, the source of mercy, sweet and lovable above all — when he sees his creature stained by some contagion of sin, or even wounded by many great injuries of wrongdoing, nearly unto death, shows far greater and more careful concern for us in healing our sins, curing our weakness, cleansing the leprosy and filth of our crimes, and the vanity and dust of our thoughts, than an earthly father or even a beast shows in caring for its children or its young.910 Nor is it enough for him simply to heal our weakness and then send us away; but having healed us, he makes us deeply his own, and tenderly embraces us thereafter as his most beloved children; and holding us close and kissing us, he soothes and comforts us from every sickness and the leprosy of sin that we incurred through our folly; and every wrong we did him by despising his commands, he completely forgets.1112 He honors us in the present life and crowns us in the life to come; he makes us kings, he makes our soul a queen. And so, since we have already been made kings, he warns us in the psalm: "Now understand, you kings; be instructed, you who judge the earth."13 Then we are truly kings, if we govern our disordered impulses and bring them back into line with reason and with the will of our Creator. We are truly instructed when we judge the earth — that is, when we find our heart desiring earthly things and compel it to despise what is earthly and to love what is heavenly.14
Christ's Healing Flesh and the Altar's Gift
The soul adorned as queen is joined to Christ, who descended in the flesh, healed humanity's wounds from His own body, and gives that same flesh to be eaten.
Our soul becomes a queen, because clothed in various garments — that is, adorned with the various gifts of the virtues — she is joined to Christ her bridegroom, who is in heaven, by an everlasting disposition of mind and act and habit, even while she lives out her time on earth. It wasn't enough for our Creator to create us, to govern us after creating us, and to send his own angels for our defense whenever we needed it; but he himself, through himself, taking on our form, taking on our nature, having compassion for his own creation, descended to us, and carefully inspected our wounds and our death — looking, he touched, he handled; moved with compassion over the misery he saw us to be in, he groaned in sympathy. And after this, from his very flesh which he had taken on for us, making it as a plaster and applying it to our sufferings, he healed our whole weakness completely and entirely. And so that he might show in this how much he loved us, he gave us the very flesh which he had received for us to eat; and still, in the sacrifice of his altar, he does not cease to serve it to us.
Final Prayer for Penitence and Eternal Joy
Encouraged by all these consolations, the soul prays through the saints for a life of true penitence and the hope of ascending to eternal joys.
And so, my soul, encouraged and consoled by the sweet recollection of all these things, pray to your Lord, pray to your Creator, call upon all his saints, that they may be a help to you, so that through their intercession, helped and consoled, He who made you may grant you to live your present life in a way that cleanses your iniquities through true penitence and confession, and that when your temporal course is finished, you may deserve to ascend to eternal joys — He who lives and reigns, God, through eternal ages.1516 Amen.
Read the original Latin
Anima mea, anima misera et foeda, diligenter recollige ad te intrinsecus omnes sensus corporis tui, diligentiusque intuere et vide quam graviter intus vulnerata atque prostrata sis. Dum enim adhuc immensa Creatoris tui bonitas tibi vitam praestat, dum ejus ineffabilis misericordia tuam correctionem, et satisfactionem congruam, patienter et cum magna mansuetudine exspectat, non sis pigra et tarda ad curanda vulnera tua, ad corrigenda peccata tua, ad reconciliandum tibi Creatorem tuum quem offendisti, ad pacificandos tibi omnes sanctos ejus, quos in offendendo suum Creatorem et tuum, suum Dominum et tuum, tibi adversarios fecisti. Si recta et munda, sicuti te Creator tuus rectam et mundam creavit, semper stares, ejusque voluntati, sicuti bene posses, si voluisses, indeficiens adhaesisses, nunc laeta et felix, laetam et felicem vitam praesentem transcurreres; qua transcursa et finita, laeta et felix cum illius adjutorio qui te creavit, vitam et felicitatem, quae finem non habet, possideres. Nunc vero quia voluntatem Creatoris tui, infelix et misera, postposuisti; et carnalibus tuis voluptatibus infeliciter et misere adhaesisti, si studiose et cum magna diligentia non te palpans, nec tibi parcens, quantis malis et iniquitatibus involuta sis inspicis, inspiciens et poenitens ad satisfactionem et emendationem redire disponis, hoc prius projice ab interioribus tuis, scilicet voluntatem peccandi, et ea amplectere et fac quae Creatori tuo per omnia placere intelligis.
Sed fortassis apud temetipsam dicis inspiciens enormitatem scelerum tuorum, et desperans de indulgentia et remissione, propter assiduas foeditates iniquitatum tuarum: Quomodo me emendare jam amplius valeo, quae fere in omni vita mea contra Dei voluntatem facio, omni malitiae, omnibusque malis desideriis et malis operibus semper intenta existo, et quasi lapis, quem nec ferrum incidere, nec ignis emollire potest, sic indurata in peccatis jaceo? Dum itaque justitiam Creatoris mei diligentius inspicio, et mala opera quae semper operata sum, non minori diligentia intueor, cum ipse inicuique redditurus sit secundum opera sua, tormenta et poenas, quas mala opera merentur, me recipere scio. Verum est quod asseris, quia Deus judex justus, diligens aequitatem, malis operibus et peccatis tormenta irrogat; sed tamen secundum eamdem justitiam, qua perseverantes in malitia punit, resipiscentes a malis, bonaque opera facientes, aeterna mercede remunerat. Propter hoc superius te admonui, ut diligentius omnia interiora tua, et ea quae coram agis, inspicias, et ad quem finem quaeque perventura sint, non minori diligentia videas. Et credo quia si hoc assidue facis, horumque recordationibus quasi ferreis malleis duritiam pectoris tui assidue contundis, nisi insana sis, ea facies, unde felicitatem et gaudia recipias; ea vero dimittes, unde tormenta et tristitiam merebaris.
Propter hoc, iterum atque iterum admoneo ut sine intermissione recorderis quam dulcis et quam bonus sit erga te Creator tuus, quanta bonitas ejus fuerit, quod te cum non esses creavit; et quod te non pecus aut creaturam insensibilem, sed eam creaturam fecit, quae eum posses intelligere et amare, et cum eo suam aeternitatem aeterna et felix possidere, et quod in tantum te dilexit ut, cum te multa contra suam voluntatem acturam sciret, noluit te non facere, sed te voluit facere, et esse; et quod te cum tanta mansuetudine, ut pius ac misericors adhuc patitur, exspectans tuam emendationem. Exspectat vero Creator tuus, exspectat, sicut dixi, tuam correctionem, quia cui placuit te, cum non esses, facere, nullo modo aliquando te cupit perdere; sed ad suam piissimam misericordiam redire, et tibi per veram poenitentiam purgatae et emendatae, aeternae vitae felicitatem, quam per peccatum amiseras, reddere.
Cogita ergo, et recogita tantam erga te tui Creatoris benignitatem, et erige te, sicut rectum est, et omnes sensus tuos ad ejus ineffabilem dilectionem. Amor enim illius nullam patitur vitiorum foeditatem, nullam consentit secum esse carnalium desideriorum voluptatem. Ubi amor ejus conversatur, ibi est summa pax, summa tranquillitas, et magna facilitas omnia illa faciendi et cogitandi, quibus acquiratur aeterna felicitas. In omnibus actionibus et in omnibus cogitationibus tuis scias pro certo duos esse praesentes, unum amicum, et alterum inimicum tuum. Amicus tuus est Creator tuus, qui de tuis bonis operibus gaudet; inimicus autem tuus diabolus, qui de eisdem tuis bonis operibus luget. Econtrario diabolus tibi semper insidians, laetatur si te viderit mala opera facere, vanisque cogitationibus et stultis operam dare, unde te valeat ante supernum Judicem accusare, accusatam et damnatam secum ad perditionem trahere. Diabolus de perditione fidelium semper cupidus, non solum illos de malis operibus quae faciunt accusat, sed et ipsorum benefacta, beneque cogitata, etiam injuste accusando maculare tentat. Tu vero contra ejus subtiles fallacias, contraque ejus versutias multis deceptionibus plenas, esto cauta, esto sollicita, tuumque Creatorem et dulcissimum Dominum invoca, ne ejus fallaciis et deceptionibus te seduci permittat.
Fuge sub umbra alarum ejus a facie impiorum qui te affligunt, qui te afflictam et supplantatam ad mortem et ad interitum pertrahere satagunt. Creator tuus, et Dominus tuus plus est pius et misericors quam dici vel etiam excogitari possit: unde nullum nisi sua magna culpa suaque magna iniquitate perdit.
Pater et mater carnales solent magnam pietatem habere de illis quos genuerunt; et si illos aliquo dolore, vel aliqua corporali tristitia affici conspiciunt, se suasque res, si ita ratio exigit, pro eorum recuperanda sospitate libenter impendunt. Multa etiam animalia pro fetibus suis saepius mortem excipere non metuunt, et ut ipsi fetus sui mortem evadant, mortem ipsa incurrunt. Unde vero illis, unde est illa naturalis pietas, nisi ab illo qui fons est pietatis, qui non vult ullum perire, nec laetatur in perditione morientium? Creator igitur noster, fons pietatis, fons misericordiae, super omnia dulcis et amabilis, cum nos conspicit creaturam suam aliquo contagio peccati maculatos, vel etiam magnis multisque vulneribus criminum fere usque ad mortem laesos, multo magis, majoremque diligentiam adhibet circa nos curandi peccata nostra, sanandi infirmitatem nostram, mundandi lepram et sordes criminum nostrorum, vanitates et pulverem cogitationum nostrarum, quam pater carnalis, vel pecus, adhibeat circa curam filiorum vel fetuum suorum. Nec sufficit ei tantummodo sanare infirmitatem nostram, et sic nos dimittere; sed sanatos familiarissimos sibi nos faciens, dulciter quasi charissimos filios suos postea amplectitur; amplectens et osculans de omni languore et lepra peccati, quam per stultitiam incurrimus, mitigat et consolatur; et omnium injuriarum quas ei fecimus, eum in suis praeceptis spernentes, omnino obliviscitur. Honorat nos in praesenti vita, coronat nos in futura, facit nos reges, facit animam nostram reginam; unde nos reges, jam factos, admonet in psalmo: Et nunc reges intelligite, erudimini qui judicatis terram. Tunc vere reges sumus, si nostros motus inordinatos regimus, eosque ad rationem et ad voluntatem nostri Creatoris revocamus. Erudimur vero, cum terram judicamus, id est, cum cor nostrum si terrena desiderare conspicimus, terrena contemnere et coelestia amare compellimus.
Fit anima nostra regina, quia variis vestibus induta, id est variis virtutum donis decorata, Christo sponso suo qui in coelis est, perenni mente actu et habitu interim, dum in terris conversatur, est copulata. Non satis fuit Creatori nostro nos creare, creatos gubernare, et angelos suos, quoties nobis opus erat, ad defensionem nostram mittere; sed ipse per semetipsum, assumpta forma nostra, assumpta natura nostra, habens pietatem de creatura sua, ad nos descendit, vulnera nostra et mortem diligenter inspexit, inspiciens palpavit, tetigit; pietate motus super miseriam quam nos habere vidit, condolendo ingemuit. Et post haec, de ipsa carne sua quam pro nobis assumpserat, quasi emplastrum faciens, nostrisque doloribus apponens, totam ex integro infirmitatem nostram sanavit. Et ut in hoc ostenderet quantum nos diligeret, ipsam carnem, quam pro nobis susceperat, nobis ad manducandum dedit; et adhuc in sacrificio sui altaris ministrare non desinit.
Tu vero, anima mea, horum omnium dulci recordatione animata et consolata, ora Dominum tuum, ora Creatorem tuum, invoca omnes sanctos ejus, ut tibi sint in auxilium, quatenus per eorum intercessionem adjuta et consolata, sic tibi in praesenti conversatione qui te fecit concedat vivere, tuas iniquitates per veram poenitentiam et confessionem mundare, ut finito temporali cursu, ad aeterna gaudia merearis ascendere, praestante eo qui vivit et regnat Deus per aeterna saecula. Amen.
Scripture echoes
Notes
- 1 ↩satisfactio/satisfactio rendered as 'satisfaction' in the penitential sense of making amends, not modern 'satisfaction' as contentment.
- 2 ↩The sentence is a contrary-to-fact conditional (imperfect and pluperfect subjunctives). The rendering preserves the hypothetical force: the soul did not stand upright, so it does not now possess the happiness described.
- 3 ↩satisfactio and emendatio rendered as 'satisfaction' and 'amendment' in the penitential sense: making amends and moral correction.
- 4 ↩voluntatem peccandi rendered as 'the will to sin' — the gerundive construction expresses the ongoing disposition or desire toward sinning, not a single act.
- 5 ↩The antecedent of 'ejus' (his) is uncertain in the source; it most naturally refers to God (the Creator/Lord of the surrounding context), echoing the biblical idiom of Psalm 17:8 / 36:7 / 57:1 / 61:4 / 63:7 ('shadow of your wings'), but the grammar alone does not rule out another referent. Translated under the dominant devotional reading.
- 6 ↩'supplantatam' (overthrown, tripped up) carries a moral-spiritual sense here—brought low through sin or calamity—rather than a purely physical one.
- 7 ↩'unde' here functions inferentially/theologically ('and so' / 'with the result that') rather than spatially or resumptive. It draws a conclusion from the preceding claim about God's boundless mercy.
- 8 ↩'pius et misericors' — rendered 'merciful and compassionate' to capture both the covenantal faithfulness (pius) and the tender mercy (misericors) of God. 'Pious' in modern English would mislead.
- 9 ↩pietas rendered as 'tenderness' to capture the affective warmth of the Latin while distinguishing it from the English theological sense of 'piety'; the word carries overtones of both compassion and dutiful love.
- 10 ↩lepra peccati — 'leprosy of sin' — is a traditional spiritual metaphor for the defiling, disfiguring character of sin, drawn from biblical leprosy imagery.
- 11 ↩familiarissimos sibi — rendered 'deeply his own' — conveys intimate closeness, adoption into God's household.
- 12 ↩amplectens et osculans — 'holding close and kissing' — a vivid image of divine tenderness, echoing the father of the prodigal son (Luke 15:20).
- 13 ↩Psalm 2:10 (Vulgate numbering). The quotation is a direct citation from the psalm, rendered here in a modern-readable English that preserves the imperative force.
- 14 ↩terram judicamus — 'judge the earth' — interpreted by the author's own gloss (id est) as an interior act: judging and disciplining the heart's earthly desires.
- 15 ↩quatenus rendered as 'so that' to express the result/purpose force; the correlative sic ('so/thus') links back to the preceding ut clause, giving the sense 'helped and consoled in such a way that.'
- 16 ↩mundare ('to cleanse') takes tuas iniquitates as its object but is grammatically dependent on concedat vivere; rendered as a purpose/result subordinate to 'grant you to live' to preserve the Latin syntax.
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