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Chapter 19Ansl.1.19

ORATIO XIX. AD CHRISTUM. Quando dissolvi cupis et esse cum Christo secundum dictum Apostoli.

Wings of Faith for Heavenly Contemplation

The soul beseeches Christ for the swift wings of faith and virtue so that, lifted above earthly burdens and the distractions of the flesh, it may contemplate eternal things.

Christ my Lord, strength and wisdom of the Father, who set a cloud as your chariot, who walk on the wings of the winds, who make your angels spirits and your ministers a burning fire — I beseech you and humbly ask: give me the swift wings of faith, give me the quick wings of virtue, by which, lifted up, I may contemplate the eternal and heavenly things, and bid farewell to all else.✦12 Let my soul cling fast to you, I pray, and let your right hand receive me. Lift me above the height of the earth, and feed me with that heavenly inheritance for which my pilgrimage sighs day and night. And because my dying limbs dull the soul's strength — scatter the earthly mists and the burdens of fleshly weight; check my wandering mind as it rushes through many crooked paths — and grant a heavenly mind to ascend the throne.

Yearning for the Vision of God

The soul, longing for divine illumination, pours forth a cascade of tender questions to Christ—when shall I see you, stand before your face, and be satisfied with your beauty?—and finds its answer in the blessedness of those who dwell in God's house forever.

—so that, illumined by the highest light, she may look down on earth, look toward heaven, hate sin, and love justice. For what is more beautiful, what is sweeter, than amid the darkness and many bitternesses of this life to yearn for the divine sweetness, to sigh for eternal blessedness, and to be held in mind where it is most certain that true joys are to be found? O sweetest, most loving, kindest, dearest, most precious, most desired, most lovable, most beautiful—when shall I see you? When shall I appear before your face?✦ When shall I be satisfied with your beauty? When will you lead me out of this dark prison, so that I may confess your name, and so that from now on I may no longer be pierced with compunction? When shall I cross over into that wonderful and most beautiful house of yours, where the voice of joy and exultation resounds in the tabernacles of the righteous? Blessed are those who dwell in your house, Lord; they will praise you forever and ever.✦

The Blessedness of the Saints

A brief, luminous beatitude: those whom Christ has chosen and taken into the heavenly inheritance are truly blessed.

Blessed—truly blessed—are those You have chosen and taken up into that heavenly inheritance.

The Saints' Glory and the Soul's Longing

The saints flourish before the Lord, filled with divine light and beauty, and the sinful soul, echoing the Psalms, longs with burning desire to enter God's house and appear before His face.

See, your holy ones, Lord, flourish before you like a lily. For they will be filled from the abundance of your house, and from the torrent of your pleasure you give them drink, because you are the fountain of life, and in your light they see light — to such a degree that they themselves, that is, the light illuminated through you, the God who gives light, shine forth like the sun in your sight.✦ O how wonderful, how beautiful, how pleasing are the dwelling places of your house, Lord of hosts!✦ This sinful soul of mine longs to enter into them. Lord, I have loved the beauty of your house and the place where your glory dwells.✦ One thing I have asked of the Lord, and this I will seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life.✦ As the deer longs for streams of water, so my soul longs for you, O God.✦ When shall I come and appear before your face?

Exile in the Land of the Dying

The soul, unable to see God in this land of mortality, laments its bondage and prolonged exile, confessing with Scripture that it is a pilgrim seeking a heavenly city that is yet to come.

When will I see my God, for whom my soul thirsts?✦ When will I see him in the land of the living? For in this land of dying, God cannot be seen by mortal eyes.3 What am I to do, wretched as I am, bound by the heavy shackle of my mortality?4 What am I to do? While we are in the body, we are exiled from the Lord; we don't have here an abiding city, but we seek the one that is to come.✦✦5 Our citizenship, however, is in heaven.✦6 Alas for me, my sojourning has been prolonged: I have dwelt among the inhabitants of Kedar, and my soul has been a stranger for long.✦7

To Cling to God Is Good

Desiring wings like a dove to fly to rest, the soul declares that nothing is sweeter than being with the Lord and that to cling to God is its highest good, even now in frail flesh.

Who will give me wings like a dove's, so that I may fly away and rest?✦ Nothing is so sweet to me as being with my Lord.8 But for me, to cling to God is good.9 Grant me, Lord, while I stand here in these frail members, to cling to you, as it is written: Whoever clings to the Lord is one spirit with him.✦1011

The Upward Flight of Contemplation

The soul asks for the wings of contemplation, begs God to keep its mind from falling into darkness, hastens toward the serene light of peace, and acknowledges that many obstacles clamor against the soul flying toward God.

Grant me, I ask, the wings of contemplation, clothed in which I may fly up to you. And because everything on the left lies downward, hold my mind, lest it fall down into the lowest parts of the dark valley, lest the shadow of the earth coming between separate you from the true Sun of justice, and [overspread by a cloud of darkness…] …drawn over by a cloud of darkness] may it be prevented from looking up on high. Therefore I strive upward toward the joys of peace, and toward the delightful and most serene state of light. Hold my heart by your hand, because without you it is not carried up to the things that are higher. I hasten there, where supreme peace reigns, and perpetual tranquillity shines. Hold and guide my spirit, and take it up yourself according to your will, so that with you as guide it may ascend into that region of abundance, where you feed Israel forever with the food of truth, so that there, even by a swift thought, it may reach you, the highest wisdom, abiding above all things, passing through all things, and governing all things. But for the soul flying toward you, there are many things that clamor against it.

Silence and the Fixing of Faith

The soul asks that all created things fall silent so that it may pass through and above them, fixing the eyes of faith alone upon the Creator, the true and highest good.

At your command, Lord, let all things fall silent for me. Let my soul be silent to itself. Let it pass through all things and rise above all created things, and let it come to you and fix the eyes of faith on you alone—the Creator of all. Let it long for you, set its gaze on you, meditate on you, and contemplate you. Let it hold you before its eyes and ponder you in the depths of its heart: the true and highest good, the joy that will abide without end.

Wounded by the Dart of Divine Love

Finding its deepest rest in God alone, the soul marvels at the abundance of divine sweetness, blesses those whose every work is prayer, and pleads through Christ's wounds to be pierced by the fiery dart of love so that tears of devotion may flow day and night.

There are, finally, many contemplations by which a soul devoted to you is wondrously fed, but in none of them does my soul find such delight and rest as in you, and when it thinks of and contemplates you alone. How great is the abundance of your sweetness, Lord, how wondrously you breathe it into the hearts of those who love you! How wondrous the sweetness of your love, by which those who love nothing but you are filled, who seek nothing, who desire even to think of nothing else! Blessed are those whose only hope you are, and whose every work is prayer. Blessed is the one who sits alone and is silent, keeping watch continually day and night over his guard, so that while still placed in this frail body he may be able to taste, even if only in part, your sweetness.12 I ask you through those saving wounds of yours, which you suffered on the cross for our salvation, from which that precious blood flowed by which we are redeemed — wound this sinful soul of mine, for which you even deigned to die — wound her with the fiery dart of your boundless love.13 For the word of God is living and effective, and more piercing than any two-edged sword.14 You are a chosen arrow and the sharpest sword, able by your power to pierce the hard shield of the human heart — pierce my heart with the dart of your love, so that my soul may say to you: I am wounded by your love — so that from that very wound of your love the richest tears may flow day and night.1516

The Heavenly Bridal Chamber: Desire Fulfilled

In a final, sweeping cry, the soul begs Christ to strike it with the point of love, to draw from it a fountain of tears until it deserves to see Him in the heavenly bridal chamber, where at last it will behold His face, adore His majesty, and cry out in eternal jubilation: what I desired, now I see.

Strike, Lord, strike—I beg you—this very hard mind of mine with the sharp and mighty point of your love, and penetrate deeper into my inmost parts with your powerful strength, and so draw an immense stream of water from my head, and from my eyes a true fountain of tears flowing continually, from excessive affection and longing for the sight of your beauty, so that I may mourn day and night, receiving no consolation in this present life, until I deserve to see you in the heavenly bridal chamber, my beloved and most beautiful Bridegroom, my God and my Lord, so that there, beholding your glorious, wonderful, and most beautiful face, full of all sweetness, I may adore your majesty as one of your chosen, with humble devotion, and there at last, filled with heavenly and ineffable jubilation of eternal exultation, I may cry out with those who love you, saying: Behold, what I have desired, now I see; what I have hoped for, now I hold; what I have longed for, now I have.✦✦ For to him in heaven I am united, whom on earth I loved with all my strength, with all love embraced, to whom with all my devotion I have held fast; him I praise, bless, and adore. Who lives and reigns, God, forever and ever.✦ Amen.

Read the original Latin

Christe Domine, virtus et sapientia Patris, qui ponis nubem ascensum tuum, qui ambulas super pennas ventorum, qui facis angelos tuos spiritus, et ministros tuos ignem urentem, obsecro et humiliter rogo, da praepetes pennas fidei, da celeres alas virtutum, quibus evectus aeterna et coelestia valam contemplari. Adhaereat, quaeso, anima mea post te, et suscipiat me dextera tua. Sustollat me super altitudinem terrae, et cibet me illa coelesti haereditate, cui suspirat peregrinatio mea die ac nocte. Et quia moribunda membra vigorem animae hebetant, Disjice terrenae nebulas et pondera molis, Siste vagam mentem, per devia multa ruentem, Et da coelestem mentem conscendere sedem,

ut supremo lumine irradiata, terram despiciat, coelum aspiciat, peccata oderit, justitiam diligat. Quid enim pulchrius, quidve dulcius, quam inter tenebras hujus vitae multasque amaritudines divinae dulcedini inhiare, et aeternae beatitudini suspirare, illicque teneri mente ubi vera haberi gaudia certissimum est? Dulcissime, amantissime, benignissime, charissime, pretiosissime, desideratissime, amabilissime, pulcherrime, quando te videbo? Quando apparebo ante faciem tuam? Quando satiabor de pulchritudine tua? Quando educes me de hoc carcere tenebroso, ut confitear nomini tuo, ita ut deinceps non compungar? Quando transibo in illam admirabilem et pulcherrimam domum tuam, ubi personat vox laetitiae et exsultationis in tabernaculis justorum? Beati qui habitant in domo tua, Domine, in saecula saeculorum laudabunt te.

Beati, et vere beati, quos elegisti et assumpsisti in illam coelestem haereditatem.

Ecce sancti tui, Domine, florent ante te, sicut lilium. Replentur enim ab ubertate domus tuae, et torrente voluptatis tuae potas eos, quoniam tu es fons vitae, et in lumine tuo vident lumen, usque adeo ut ipsi, videlicet lumen illuminatum per te Deum illuminantem, sicut sol, effulgeant in conspectu tuo. O quam mira, quam pulchra, quam acceptabilia sunt domus tuae habitacula, Domine virtutum! concupiscit intrare in ea haec peccatrix anima mea. Domine, dilexi decorem domus tuae, et locum habitationis gloriae tuae. Unam petii a Domino, et hanc requiram, ut inhabitem in domo Domini omnibus diebus vitae meae. Quemadmodum desiderat cervus ad fontes aquarum, ita desiderat anima mea ad te, Deus. Quando veniam, et apparebo ante faciem tuam?

Quando videbo Deum meum, quem sitit anima mea? Quando videbo eum in terra viventium? In ista enim terra morientium videri non potest mortalibus oculis. Quid faciam miser ego gravedine compedis mortalitatis meae constrictus? Quid faciam? Dum sumus in corpore, peregrinamur a Domino; non habemus hic manentem civitatem, sed futuram inquirimus. Noster autem municipatus in coelis est. Heu mihi, quia incolatus meus prolongatus est: habitavi cum habitantibus Cedar, multum incola fuit anima mea.

Quis dabit mihi pennas sicut columbae, et volabo, et requiescam? Nihil mihi tam dulce quam cum Domino meo esse. Mihi autem adhaerere Deo bonum est. Da mihi, Domine, donec his fragilibus assisto membris, tibi adhaerere, sicut scriptum est: Qui adhaeret Domino, unus spiritus est cum eo.

Praebe mihi, rogo, contemplationis pennas, quibus indutus ad te volitem sursum. Et quia omne sinistrum deorsum jacet, tene mentem meam, ne ad ima tenebrosae vallis corruat, ne interveniente umbra terrae a te vero justitiae Sole separetur, et obducta tenebrarum [ al. , adducta tenebrarum] nebula prohibeatur alta respicere. Idcirco sursum t endo ad pacis gaudia, lucisque delectabilem et serenissimum statum. Tene cor meum manu tua, quia sine te ad altiora non rapitur. Illuc festino, ubi summa pax regnat, et jugis tranquillitas rutilat. Tene et rege spiritum meum, et assume illum tu secundum voluntatem, ut te duce ascendat in illam regionem ubertatis, ubi pascis Israel in aeternum pabulo veritatis, ut ibi vel rapida cogitatione attingat te summam sapientiam super omnia manentem, cuncta transeuntem, et omnia gubernantem. Sed volitanti ad te animae multa sunt quae obstrepunt.

Jussu tuo, Domine, conticescant mihi omnia. Ipsa sibi anima mea sileat, omnia pertranseat, omnia quae creata sunt transcendat a se et perveniat ad te, atque in te solo Creatore omnium oculos fidei figat, tibi inhiet, tibi intendat, te meditetur, te contempletur, te sibi ante oculos ponat, te sub corde revolvat verum et summum bonum, et gaudium sine fine mansurum.

Multae denique sunt contemplationes, quibus anima devota tibi mirabiliter pascitur, sed in nulla earum ita delectatur et requiescit anima mea sicut in te, et quando te solum cogitat et contemplatur. Quam magna multitudo dulcedinis tuae, Domine, quam mirabiliter inspiras cordibus amatorum tuorum! quam mira suavitas amoris tui, quo perfruuntur illi qui nihil praeter te diligunt, nihil quaerunt, nihil etiam cogitare concupiscunt! Felices illi, quibus tu solus spes es, et omne opus eorum oratio. Beatus qui sedet solitarius et tacet, et stat super custodiam suam jugiter die ac nocte, ut adhuc in hoc fragili corpusculo positus praelibare valeat aliquatenus dulcedinem tuam. Rogo te per illa salutifera vulnera tua, quae passus es in cruce pro salute nostra, e quibus emanavit ille pretiosus sanguis quo sumus redempti, vulnera hanc animam meam peccatricem, pro qua etiam mori dignatus es, vulnera eam igneo et potentissimae telo tuae nimiae charitatis. Vivus est enim sermo Dei et efficax, et penetrabilior omni gladio ancipiti. Tu sagitta electa, et gladius acutissimus qui durum scutum humani cordis penetrare tua potentia vales, confige cor meum jaculo tui amoris, ut dicat tibi anima mea: Charitate tua vulnerata sum, ita ut ex ipso vulnere amoris tui uberrimae fluant lacrymae die ac nocte.

Percute, Domine, percute, obsecro, hanc durissimam mentem meam pia et valida cuspide dilectionis tuae, et altius ad intima penetra potenti virtute, et sic de capite meo educ aquam immensam, et de oculis meis verum fontem lacrymarum jugiter manantem, ex nimio affectu et desiderio visionis pulchritudinis tuae, ut lugeam die ac nocte, nullam in praesenti vita recipiens consolationem, donec te in coelesti thalamo merear videre dilectum et pulcherrimum Sponsum meum, Deum et Dominum meum, ut ibi videns gloriosam, admirabilem et pulcherrimam faciem tuam, omni dulcedine plenam, cum iis quos elegisti, majestatem tuam supplex adorem, et illic tandem coelesti et ineffabili repletus jubilo aeternae exsultationis exclamem cum diligentibus te, dicens: Ecce quod concupivi jam video, quod speravi jam teneo, quod desideravi jam habeo. Illi namque in coelis junctus sum quem in terris positus tota virtute dilexi, tota charitate amplexus sum, cui toto amore inhaesi, ipsum laudo, benedico atque adoro. Qui vivit et regnat Deus in saecula saeculorum. Amen.

Scripture echoes

  1. ↩Ps.103.3-Ps.103.4 — who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases Ps.103.4 — who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy
  2. ↩Ps.41.3;Ps.43.2 — The LORD will keep him alive and preserve him; he will be called blessed in the land. Do not give him over to the will of his enemies. Ps.43.2 — For you are God, my stronghold— why have you rejected me? Why must I walk in gloom under the oppression of the enemy?
  3. ↩Ps.83.5;Ps.85.4 — They said, 'Come, let us wipe them out as a nation, so that the name of Israel will be remembered no more.' Ps.85.4 — Turn away all your wrath; turn back from the fury of your anger.
  4. ↩Ps.35.9-Ps.35.10 — Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD; it will exult in his salvation. Ps.35.10 — All my bones shall say, 'LORD, who is like You, delivering the poor from the one too strong for him—the poor and the needy from the one who robs him?'
  5. ↩Ps.83.2 — God, do not keep silent; do not be still, do not be quiet, O God.
  6. ↩Ps.25.8 — Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
  7. ↩Ps.26.4 — I have not sat with worthless men, and with hypocrites I will not enter in.
  8. ↩Ps.41.2 — Blessed is the one who has regard for the poor; in the day of trouble, the LORD delivers him.
  9. ↩Ps.41.2 — Blessed is the one who has regard for the poor; in the day of trouble, the LORD delivers him.
  10. ↩Heb.13.14 — For here we do not have a lasting city, but we are seeking the one that is coming.
  11. ↩2Cor.5.6 — So we are always confident, and we know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord.
  12. ↩Phil.3.20 — For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.
  13. ↩Ps.119.5 — Oh that my ways were established to keep your statutes!
  14. ↩Ps.55.6 — Fear and trembling came upon me, and horror overwhelmed me.
  15. ↩1Cor.6.17 — But the one who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.
  16. ↩Ps.42.1-Ps.42.2 — To the choirmaskil. A Maskil of the Sons of Korah. Ps.42.2 — As a deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, God.
  17. ↩Phil.1.23 — But I am hard-pressed between the two, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for it is far better;
  18. ↩Rev.1.18 — And the Living One—I was dead, and behold, I am alive forever and ever, and I hold the keys of Death and of Hades.

Notes

  1. 1 ↩The word valam (token 43) is uncertain — possibly a corruption of vale ("farewell") or vallem ("valley"). The translation follows the most plausible intended sense: a farewell to earthly things in order to contemplate heavenly ones.
  2. 2 ↩The opening invocations echo Psalm 103:3–4 (Vulgate): "who set the clouds as your chariot, who walk on the wings of the winds, who make your angels spirits and your ministers a burning fire." Status: candidate, pending Moses resolution.
  3. 3 ↩Enim is postpositive and explanatory; rendered as 'For' to preserve the logical connection to the preceding question.
  4. 4 ↩Gravedine compedis renders the metaphor of a 'weight of chains/fetters'; translated as 'heavy shackle' to keep the concrete image of bondage under the weight of mortality.
  5. 5 ↩Sed is adversative, contrasting the absence of a present city with the search for a future one; rendered as 'but'.
  6. 6 ↩Autem is postpositive continuative; rendered as 'however' to mark the shift from earthly exile to heavenly citizenship.
  7. 7 ↩Incolatus (sojourning/foreign residence) and incola (sojourner/stranger) preserve the exile motif. Kedar, a son of Ishmael, stands for a hostile or alien dwelling place in the Psalms.
  8. 8 ↩Cum here is temporal ('when/being with') rather than causal; the comparative construction tam…quam frames the sweetness of communion with the Lord against all other goods.
  9. 9 ↩Autem marks a gentle adversative shift — from longing to affirmation — rendered as 'But' to preserve the turn.
  10. 10 ↩Quotation of 1 Corinthians 6:17 (Vulgate): Qui adhaeret Domino, unus spiritus est.
  11. 11 ↩Donec is temporal ('while'), framing the prayer within the present embodied life. Cum at the end is a preposition with the ablative ('with him'), not a conjunction.
  12. 12 ↩praelibare rendered as 'taste' in the sense of a foretaste or partial experience; ut treated as purpose.
  13. 13 ↩charitatis rendered as 'love' per default policy; the theological-virtue sense is preserved by context.
  14. 14 ↩Direct quotation of Hebrews 4:12; Moses resolution required for final anchor.
  15. 15 ↩charitate rendered as 'love' per default policy; the theological-virtue sense is clear from context.
  16. 16 ↩First ut rendered as purpose ('so that'); second ut rendered as result ('so that') — both read naturally as purpose/result in English.

Orationes sive Meditationes — Collection for Princess Adeliza of Normandy companion

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