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Chapter 12Ansl.1.12

ORATIO XII. AD DEUM. Laus Dei, cum gratiarum actione devota.

A Lifelong Mercy Remembered

The soul blesses God for mercy from childhood, for deliverance from evils, and for every good gift, calling all creation to join in praise.

I offer you praise and thanks, my God, my mercy, who have deigned to lead me into thoughts of you and to gather me, through the washing of sacred baptism, among the children of adoption.1 I offer you praise and thanks, who from the very first stirrings of childhood all the way to this hour, as I streamed past in countless sins, have waited for my amendment with the patience of your boundless goodness.2 I praise and glorify you, who have often freed me with the arm of your power from many hardships, calamities, and miseries, who have rescued me all this while from eternal punishments and from the torments of this body. I praise and glorify you, who have deigned to grant me the soundness of my limbs, peace of mind in times of calm, and the love, affection, and charity of your servants toward me — gifts that are the largesse of your own goodness.3 Holy of Holies, who sanctify all things, I bless you, I glorify you, I worship you, I give you thanks. Let all your creatures bless you, let all your angels and your saints bless you. So let us bless you in my lifetime. Let every inward and outward part of my frame worship you, and glorify you, and bless you.4

Every Sense Turned to Blessing

Eyes, ears, nostrils, tongue, heart, and soul are each invited to bless God for their creation and for the delight found in God's works and presence.

My salvation, my light, my illumination — let my eyes bless you, which you made and prepared to behold the face of your serenity. My sweetness, my delight — let my ears bless you, which you made and prepared to hear the voice of your pleasantness. My sweetness, my refreshment — let my nostrils bless you, which you made to live and delight in the fragrance of your ointments. My praise, my new song, my exultation — let my tongue bless you and magnify you, which you made and prepared so that I might proclaim your wonders.✦✦ My wisdom, my meditation, my counsel — let my heart always worship and bless you, which you prepared and gave me to discern your inestimable compassions.5 My life, my blessedness — let my soul bless you, though it is sinful, which you made and prepared to enjoy your good things.6

Longing for the Beloved at the Tomb

The soul adores and thirsts for God, then weeps at the tomb of its own soul, seeking Christ through faith, hope, and love, and yearning to find and embrace his wounded presence.

One to be adored, one to be trembled at, one to be worshipped, Father to be feared: I bless you, whom I have loved, whom I have sought, whom I have always longed for. My God, my lover: I thirst for you, I hunger for you, I desire you, I beseech you — I long for you with all my inmost being and with every groan. And just as a mother bereaved of her only son sits at the place of his tomb, weeping and wailing without end, so I too — not as much as I ought, but as much as I am able — mindful of your passion, mindful of the blows you suffered, mindful of your scourgings, mindful of your wounds, mindful of how you were killed for me, how you were laid to rest, how and where you was buried — I sit with Mary weeping at the tomb of my own soul. Where faith has buried you, hope seeks so that it may find you, and love so that it may anoint you. Most kind, most serene, most sweet: who will grant me that I may find you out in the open and kiss you, and sprinkle with tears the places of your wounds, the piercings of the nails? Daughters of Jerusalem, announce to my beloved that I languish with love.✦ Let him appear to me, let him show himself to me. Let him call me by my name, let him hold me back from my pain.

The Pilgrim's Grief and the Coming Lord

The pilgrim soul grieves its exile, calls on the Lord to show his face, and beholds Christ coming in royal, blood-stained garments for the salvation of his people.

My grief doesn't fit inside me — not while I'm a pilgrim away from you, my God. Come now, Lord — reveal your face; show your mercy to those who plead with you.✦ We know the resurrection is accomplished — now declare the blessed incorruption before our eyes. Wonderful, priceless, beyond all comparison — I wanted you, I hoped for you, I sought you. Look — you yourself come, clothed in purple; your garment is red.✦ You've washed your robe in wine, and your cloak in the blood of the grape.✦ You struck the head from the house of the wicked one, going forth for the salvation of your people.✦

Evening Falls, the Sun of Righteousness Arises

As evening darkens the day, the soul asks the Lord to stay and let it rejoice in his resurrection, then cries out in anguish at his apparent absence.

Stay with us in the morning, Lord — in the morning, or even until morning. Let us enjoy your presence in the meantime. Let us rejoice and delight in your resurrection. Darkness closes in; evening presses the day to its end. Let the Sun shine his face upon us — our Sun, our light, Christ our God. But what are you doing — alas! My Lord — alas! My soul?

Tears, Exile, and Desire Fixed on God

The soul, unsure where to turn, watches the Lord ascend, resolves to live on tears and sorrow, and confesses that it desires nothing in heaven or on earth apart from God.

What should I say, or what should I do, or where should I go? Now you raise your hands. See, you yourself enter upon your ways. The heavens meet me, the poles are spread out, a cloud is made ready for the one about to ascend; and I, as I depart, will offer you only the tears of my bereavement. My tears will be my bread for me by day and by night.✦ I will feed on my weeping; I will drink my soul with my sorrows. My life will waste away in grief, and my years in groaning.✦ For what do I have in heaven, and what have I desired on earth apart from you?✦

Night Watch and Final Praise

The soul vows to seek God through the night and from morning onward, asks the good and merciful Lord to come quickly, and closes with eternal glory and amen.

My soul will long for you in the night, but my spirit too will keep watch for you within my inmost parts, from morning onward.✦✦ Come to us in the meantime, Lord, since you are good, and you will not delay, because you are merciful.✦ Glory to you forever and ever.✦ Amen.

Read the original Latin

Tibi ago laudes et gratias, Deus meus, misericordia mea, qui me ad tuam cogitationem perducere et per sacri baptismatis ablutionem inter adoptionis filios aggregare dignatus es. Tibi ago laudes et gratias, qui me ab ipsis rudimentis infantiae usque ad hanc horam per multa defluentem peccata, immensae bonitatis tuae patientia, ad emendationem exspectas. Te laudo et glorifico, qui me brachio virtutis tuae de multis angustiis, calamitatibus et miseriis frequenter liberasti, qui me hactenus de aeternis suppliciis et de corporis hujus cruciatibus eruisti. Te laudo et glorifico, qui mihi sospitatem membrorum, tranquillitatem temporum, amorem, affectum et charitatem servorum tuorum in me, quae sunt dona tuae pietatis, conferre dignatus es. Sancte sanctorum, qui sanctificas omnia, benedico te, glorifico te, adoro te, gratias tibi ago. Benedicant te omnes creaturae tuae, benedicant te omnes angeli et sancti tui. Sic benedicamus te in vita mea. Adoret te et glorificet et benedicat omnis interior et exterior compago mea.

Salus mea, lux mea, illuminatio mea, benedicant te oculi mei, quos fecisti et praeparasti ad contemplandam speciem serenitatis tuae. Dulcedo mea, delectatio mea, benedicant te aures meae, quas fecisti et praeparasti ad audiendam vocem jucunditatis tuae. Suavitas mea, recreatio mea, benedicant te nares meae, quas fecisti ut vivant et delectentur in odore unguentorum tuorum. Laus mea, canticum meum novum, exsultatio mea, benedicat te et magnificet lingua mea, quam fecisti et praeparasti ut enarrem mirabilia tua. Sapientia mea, meditatio mea, consilium meum, adoret semper et benedicat cor meum, quod praeparasti et dedisti mihi ad dignoscendas inaestimabiles miserationes tuas. Vita mea, beatitudo mea, benedicat te, licet peccatrix, anima mea, quam fecisti et praeparasti ad perfruendum bonis tuis.

Adorande, tremende, colende, pater metuende, benedico te, quem amavi, quem quaesivi, quem semper optavi. Deus meus, amator meus, te sitio, te esurio, te desidero, te supplico, te totis visceribus totisque gemitibus concupisco. Et sicut mater unici Filii sui orbata praesentia sedet ad locum monumenti ejus, plorans semper et ejulans, sic et ego non quantum debeo, sed quantum valeo, memor passionis tuae, memor alaparum, memor flagellorum, memor vulnerum tuorum, memor qualiter pro me occisus es, qualiter conditus es, qualiter sepultus et ubi, sedeo cum Maria plorans ad monumentum mentis meae. Ubi te fides sepelivit, spes quaerit ut inveniat, charitas ut perungat. Benignissime, serenissime, suavissime, quis mihi det ut inveniam te foris et deosculer, et respergam lacrymis loca vulnerum, fixuras clavorum? Filiae Jerusalem, nuntiate dilecto quia amore langueo. Appareat mihi, ostendat se mihi. Vocet me nomine meo, compescat me a dolore meo.

Non enim capit in me dolor meus, quandiu peregrinus sum a te, Deus meus. Age jam, Domine, revela faciem tuam, ostende supplicibus misericordiam tuam. Scimus peractam resurrectionem, declara in oculis nostris beatam incorruptionem. Admirabilis, inaestimabilis, incomparabilis, te volebam, te sperabam, te quaerebam. En ipse venis purpuratus; rubrum est indumentum tuum. Lavasti in vino stolam tuam, et in sanguine uvae pallium tuum. Percussisti caput de domo impii, egressus in salutem populi tui.

Mane nobiscum, Domine, mane vel usque mane. Fruamur interim praesentia tua. Laetemur atque delectemur in resurrectione tua. Ingruunt tenebrae, urget diem vesper. Illuminet vultum suum super nos Sol noster, lumen nostrum, Christus Deus noster. Sed quid agis, heu! mi Domine, heu! anima mea?

Quid dicam, vel quid faciam, aut quo vadam? Jamjam elevas manus tuas. En ipse ingrederis vias tuas. Occurrunt coeli, sternuntur poli, paratur nubes ascensuro; ego tibi solas orbitatis meae lacrymas offeram recessuro. Erunt lacrymae meae panes mihi die ac nocte. Pascar fletibus meis, potabo animam meam doloribus meis. Deficiet in dolore vita mea, et anni mei in gemitibus. Quid enim mihi est in coelo, et a te quid volui super terram?

Anima mea desiderabit te in nocte, sed et spiritus meus in praecordiis meis de mane vigilabit ad te. Venies ad nos interim, Domine, quoniam bonus es, nec tardabis, quia pius es. Tibi gloria in saecula saeculorum. Amen.

Scripture echoes

  1. ↩Ps.39.4 — My heart grew hot within me; as I mused, the fire burned. Then I spoke with my tongue.
  2. ↩Ps.105.2 — Sing to him, sing praises to him; speak of all his wondrous works.
  3. ↩Song.5.8 — I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if you find my beloved, that you tell him I am sick with love.
  4. ↩Ps.104.4;Ps.80.4 — He makes his messengers winds, his ministers a blazing fire. Ps.80.4 — God, restore us; make your face shine, and we shall be saved.
  5. ↩Isa.63.1-Isa.63.2 — Who is this coming from Edom, in crimsoned garments from Bozrah? This one, majestic in his apparel, marching in the greatness of his strength? I, speaking in righteousness, mighty to save. Isa.63.2 — Why is your apparel red, and your garments like one who treads the winepress?
  6. ↩Gen.49.11 — He ties his donkey to the vine, his donkey's colt to the choice vine; he washes his garment in wine, his robe in the blood of grapes.
  7. ↩Hab.3.13 — You came forth to save your people, to save your anointed one. You crushed the head of the house of the wicked, laying bare the foundation up to the neck. Selah.
  8. ↩Ps.80.5 — LORD God of hosts, how long will you be angry with the prayer of your people?
  9. ↩Ps.31.10 — Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am in distress; my eye wastes away with grief, my soul and my belly with groaning.
  10. ↩Ps.73.25 — Whom have I in heaven but you? And with you I desire nothing on earth.
  11. ↩Ps.62.2 — Only before God is my soul silent; from him comes my salvation.
  12. ↩Ps.130.6 — My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, watchmen for the morning.
  13. ↩Ps.108.6 — Be exalted, O God, above the heavens, and let your glory be over all the earth.
  14. ↩Gal.1.5 — to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

Notes

  1. 1 ↩cogitationem: 'thought/contemplation' — here likely the interior turning of the mind toward God rather than discursive thinking.
  2. 2 ↩defluentem peccata: the participle construction is ambiguous — likely 'me, flowing past/away amid many sins,' rendered to preserve the sense of sins as a current carrying the speaker along.
  3. 3 ↩amorem, affectum et charitatem: a deliberate threefold gradation — natural affection, warm attachment, and theological charity — rendered to preserve the distinction.
  4. 4 ↩compago: 'framework/structure/joinery' — here the whole embodied person, interior and exterior, as a unified creature before God.
  5. 5 ↩inaestimabiles miserationes: 'inestimable compassions' — miseratio here carries the weight of God's tender mercies, not mere pity.
  6. 6 ↩licet peccatrix: concessive — 'though it is sinful.' The soul confesses its unworthiness even as it blesses God.

Orationes sive Meditationes — Collection for Princess Adeliza of Normandy companion

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