XXXVII. toe forma zeli Dei.

XXXVII. toe forma zeli Dei.

Then you also see on the left side of the aforementioned Man an image that, if it has a human form, is because those iniquities, which are as if on the left side in the oblivion of God, are judged by the just judgment of God's zeal, since they are committed in the perversion of humanity. For God's judgment rightly judges every injustice. On whose head there is a fiery circle, from which fiery tongues proceed, because the zeal of the Lord, burning from the beginning of creation, traverses the depths of His judgments, passing through the first fallen angel, consuming every sin with the heat of desire, and it burns whatever has been committed through rational creatures, leaving nothing unexamined. Its face also emits dazzling flashes of light, because divine will clearly and openly demonstrates the purifications of its own, since it openly punishes each person according to what they deserve, in the sight of others. But you can't see any other form in it, because it's surrounded by a marble cloak; this means that the profound judgments in the zeal of God cannot be considered to the end, since they are covered by such invincible strength, that they cannot be examined or softened, but must act according to what is just, because all things penetrate in righteousness, which have not been cast out and purified through repentance. For what penance purifies, the zeal of God does not examine, because penance is both fire and a scourge of its own; but what penance does not purge, that same zeal consumes. How is a just person hidden from themselves? Therefore, a faithful person who has experienced God's punishments fears the same punishments, knowing that mercy is shown not to the one who sins, but to the one who repents. With a groaning heart, let him say within himself: 'O God, who knows all things and has perfected all good things, I tremble in the conscience of my sins, and when I recognize my repentance in my soul, I fear that I do not complete that repentance, and this I dread.' And when I pass through the paths and ways of my own desires in indulgence, I tremble; and when I carry my sins into old age, or when I feel the weariness of sin because of pain and sorrow, I do not let go of it, and I fear this. And why this? For I know what they are and what they are like. What is this? For I am like a wheel that sometimes turns toward the North, sometimes toward the East, sometimes toward the South, and sometimes even toward the West. For when I feel that sin, which I inherited from the first original sin, I draw it into myself either by thinking, speaking, or acting. But my care reminds me where it comes from, the grain of my works from the wheat sifted. And yet I don't do this fully, because I am flesh and blood. But I go after illicit pleasures, which make me leap like a colt through the temptations of the flesh; I have no reins on them. But even when I grow weary of sin in old age, so that I no longer find pleasure in sinning, I want my life to be prolonged, so that I can amend my faults, yet I do not succeed. And then, in all these things, I roll in instability. Therefore, O God, in these matters I detest all my sins, in whatever way I commit them, knowing in my soul that You spare no one who defiantly opposes You in sin; for You cast down the rebellious angel into hell, and after the fall, You placed man into exile, and You reject each iniquity according to its own wickedness into the stable of its own contrition. I have confidence in this: that you broke open heaven and took on flesh; for this reason, the part of me that sins and falls short is left to you, because you wash it clean in your mercy through repentance. Therefore, I, a penitent, washed of my sins through you, shall live.