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← Letters of Spiritual Direction (de Sales and de Chantal)/Book 1 · Lettres de saint François de Sales adressées à des gens du monde
Chapter 13SalesGensDuMonde.1.13

À Madame de Chantal, sur la mort de Jeanne de Sales sa sœur

The Cup of Divine Will

Saint Francis shares the news of his sister's death and commends his mother's profound, peaceful resignation to God's will.

November 2, 1607. Well then! My dear daughter, isn't it reasonable that God's most holy will should be carried out, as much in the things we cherish as in everything else?1 But I must hurry to tell you that my good mother has drunk this cup with a thoroughly Christian steadfastness; her virtue, which I had always thought well of, has far outstripped my estimate of it.✦ On Sunday morning, she sent for my brother the canon. Because she had seen him looking very sad the evening before, along with all my other brothers, she said to him, "I dreamed all night that my daughter Jeanne is dead." "Tell me, I beg you—isn't it true?" My brother, who was waiting for me to arrive before telling her (for I was out on visitation), seeing this fine opening to offer her the cup, and that she was lying in her bed: "It is true, Mother," he said—and that was all; for he didn't have enough strength to add anything more.23 "God's will be done," my good mother said. She wept abundantly for a while, then called for her maid, Nicole, and said, "I want to get up and go pray to God in the chapel for my poor daughter." She did exactly as she said at once. There wasn't a single word of impatience or a single look of unease—only a thousand blessings to God and a thousand resignations to His will. I have never seen a quieter grief. It was a wonder to see so many tears, but they all came from a simple softening of the heart, without any pride—and yet, it was her dear child.4 Well then! shouldn't I love this mother dearly? Yesterday, All Saints' Day, I was the family's great confessor, and with the Most Holy Sacrament I sealed this mother's heart against every sorrow. Besides, she thanks you infinitely for the care and maternal love you showed toward this little girl who has died, with a debt of gratitude as great as if God had kept her alive by that means.5 The whole brotherhood says the same to you; and truly they have shown extremely good natures in their feeling over this death—especially our Boisy, whom I love all the more for it.6

The Interior Movements of the Soul

Francis reflects on his own human sorrow and the spiritual discipline required to remain anchored in Providence during bereavement.

I know very well that you'll gladly say to me: And you—how have you borne yourself? Yes; for you want to know how I'm doing. Alas! My daughter, I am so thoroughly human that there's nothing more to say: my heart has softened more than I ever would have thought.7 But the truth is that my mother's grief and yours have contributed a great deal to it; for I have been afraid for your heart and for my mother's.8 But as for the rest, oh! Live Jesus! I will always take the side of divine Providence: she does all things well and orders everything for the best.✦✦ What happiness this girl has had, to have been taken from the world so that malice would not corrupt her mind, and to have left this miry place before she could be defiled by it! We pick strawberries and cherries before bergamot pears and capendu apples; but that's because their season requires it.9 Let us leave it to God to gather what he has planted in his orchard: he takes everything in its season. You can imagine, my dear daughter, how warmly I loved that little girl. I had begotten her to her Savior, for I had baptized her with my own hand about fourteen years ago.10 She was the first person on whom I exercised my priestly office.11 I was her spiritual father, and I fully expected one day to make something good of her. And what made her so very dear to me—and I’m telling the truth—is that she was yours. But even so, my dear daughter, in the midst of my heart of flesh—which has felt so many pangs at this death—I sense very keenly a certain sweetness, a calm, and a gentle rest of my spirit in divine Providence, which pours into my soul a deep contentment even amid its sorrows.✦12 Well then, there you have my interior movements set down as best I can. But you, my dear daughter, what do you mean when you tell me that in this trial you found yourself well—still just as you were?13 Tell me, I beg you: hasn't our compass needle always been drawn toward its fair star, its holy light, its God?14 What has your heart done? Have you caused scandal to those who saw you in this matter, and in this event?15 Well then, my daughter, tell me that clearly—because, you see, I didn't think it right that you should have offered your own life or the life of one of your other children in exchange for the life of the one who has died.

Surrender Without Reserve

Francis exhorts his daughter to abandon all conditions in her prayer, imitating Christ's total surrender to the Father's will.

No, my dear daughter, it isn't enough merely to accept that God strikes us; we also have to consent that He strike us in the place that pleases Him. We must leave the choice to God, because it belongs to Him. David offered his life for Absalom's, but that was because Absalom was dying in a lost state; that is the kind of situation where we must plead urgently with God. But regarding temporal losses, my daughter—1617 let God touch and pluck wherever He will, and on whichever string of our lute He chooses: He will never create anything but a good harmony. Lord Jesus, without reserve, without ifs, without buts, without exception, without limitation, Your will be done concerning father, mother, and daughter, in everything and everywhere.✦ Ah! I’m not saying we shouldn't wish and pray for their preservation. But to say to God, 'Leave this, and take that'—my dear daughter, that is something we must not say. And so we will not do that—no, not at all, my daughter, by the grace of His divine goodness. I see you, it seems to me, my dear daughter, with your vigorous heart—one that loves and wills with real force. I'm glad of that, because what good are half-dead hearts? But we must practice a special exercise once a week: to will and love God's will more vigorously—I'll go further—more tenderly and more lovingly than anything else in the world, and that not only in trials we can bear, but in the most unbearable ones.18 You'll find something of this—I can't quite say what—in the little book of the Spiritual Combat, which I've so often recommended to you.19 Alas! my daughter, to tell the truth, this lesson is a high one; but then God, for whom we learn it, is the Most High. You have four children, my daughter; you have a father-in-law, a dear brother, and a spiritual father. All of these are very dear to you, and rightly so, for God wills it.20 Well then! If God were to take all that from you, wouldn't you still have enough in having God? Isn't that everything, in your view? If we had only God, wouldn't that be a great deal? Alas! The Son of God, my dear Jesus, had almost none of that on the cross. Having left and given up everything out of love and obedience to his Father, he was himself as good as left and forsaken by him. As the torrent of suffering swept his little boat into desolation, he could barely feel the compass needle that not only pointed toward his Father but was inseparably joined to him.21 Yes, he was one with his Father, but the lower part of him neither knew nor perceived anything of it at all—a trial that divine goodness has never made, and never will make, in any other soul, for no other soul could bear it.✦22 Well then, my daughter: if God took everything from us, still he will never take himself from us so long as we don't want him to.23 But there's more: all our losses and our separations are only for this little moment. Oh truly—for so little as that, we must have patience.

Simplicity in Life and Death

Francis concludes with practical instructions for a humble, simple funeral, reinforcing his commitment to spiritual poverty.

I seem to be pouring my heart out a little too much. But what of it? I follow my heart, which never thinks it can say too much with this daughter so dear to me.24 I'm sending you an escutcheon for your approval; and since it pleases you to have the service celebrated where this daughter rests in her body, I approve of it—but without great pomp, except what Christian custom properly requires: for what good is all the rest?25 Afterward, make a list of all these expenses, including those from her illness, and send it to me; that’s how I want it handled. Meanwhile, people here will pray to God for this soul, and we will fittingly pay her the small honors she is due.26 We won't hold a forty-day memorial for her. No, my daughter: there's no need for that much ceremony for a girl who never held any rank in this world—it would only make people laugh at us.27 You know me: I love simplicity in both death and life. I’ll be glad to know the name and title of the church where she is. That's all on this subject. Sincerely, etc.28

Read the original Latin

2 novembre 1607.

Hé bien! ma chère fille; mais n'est-il pas raisonnable que la très-sainte volonté de Dieu soit exécutée, aussi bien es choses que nous chérissons comme aux autres? Mais il faut que je me hâte de vous dire, que ma bonne mère a bu ce calice avec une constance toute chrétienne; et sa vertu, de laquelle j'avois toujours bonne opinion, a de beaucoup devancé mon estime.

Dimanche matin elle envoya prendre mon frère le chanoine : et parce qu'elle l'avoit vu fort triste, et tous les autres frères aussi, le soir précédent, elle lui commença à dire : J'ai rêvé toute la nuit que ma fille Jeanne est morte. Dites-moi, je vous prie, est-il pas vrai? Mon frère qui attendoit que je fusse arrivé pour le lui dire (car j'étois à la visite), voyant cette belle ouverture de lui présenter le hanap, et qu'elle étoit couchée en son lit : Il est vrai, dit-il, ma mère; et cela sans plus; car il n'eut pas assez de force pour rien ajouter. La volonté de Dieu soit faite, dit ma bonne mère; et pleura un espace de temps abondamment : et puis appelant sa Nicole : Je me veux lever, pour aller prier Dieu en la chapelle pour ma pauvre fille, dit-elle, et tout soudain fit ce qu'elle avoit dit. Pas un seul mot d'impatience, pas un seul clin d'œil d'inquiétude, mille bénédictions à Dieu, et mille résignations en son vouloir. Jamais je ne vis une douleur plus tranquille : tant de larmes que merveilles; mais tout cela par de simples attendrissements de cœur, sans aucune sorte de fierté : c'étoit pourtant son cher enfant. Hé bien! cette mère, ne la dois-je pas bien aimer?

Hier, jour de Toussaints, je fus le grand confesseur de la famille, et avec le très-saint sacrement je cachetai le cœur de cette mère contre toute tristesse. Au demeurant, elle vous remercie infiniment du soin et de l'amour maternel que vous avez exercé à l'endroit de cette petite défunte, avec obligation aussi grande, que si Dieu l'eût conservée par ce moyen. Autant vous en dit toute la fraternité, laquelle de vrai s'est témoignée d'extrêmement bon naturel au ressentiment de ce trépas, surtout notre Boisy, que j'en aime davantage.

Je sais bien que vous me direz volontiers : Et vous, comme vous êtes-vous comporté? Oui; car vous désirez savoir ce que je fais. Hélas! ma fille, je suis tant homme que rien plus : mon cœur s'est attendri plus que je n'eusse jamais pensé. Mais la vérité est que le déplaisir de ma mère et le vôtre y ont beaucoup contribué; car j'ai eu peur de votre cœur et de celui de ma mère. Mais quant au reste, oh! vive Jésus, je tiendrai toujours le parti de la Providence divine : elle fait tout bien, et dispose de toutes choses au mieux. Quel bonheur a cette fille d'avoir été ravie du monde, afin que la malice ne pervertît son esprit, et d'être sortie de ce lieu fangeux, avant qu'elle s'y fût souillée!

On cueille les fraises et les cerises avant les poires bergamotes et les capendus; mais c'est parce que leur saison le requiert. Laissons, que Dieu recueille ce qu'il a planté en son verger : il prend tout à saison.

Vous pouvez penser, ma chère fille, combien j'aimois cordialement cette petite fille. Je l'avois engendrée à son Sauveur; car je l'avois baptisée de ma propre main il y a environ quatorze ans. Ce fut la première créature sur laquelle j'exerçai mon ordre de sacerdoce. J'étois son père spirituel, et me promettois bien d'en faire un jour quelque chose de bon. Et ce qui me la rendoit fort chère (mais je dis la vérité), c'est qu'elle étoit vôtre. Mais néanmoins, ma chère fille, au milieu de mon cœur de chair, qui a eu tant de ressentiments de cette mort, j'aperçois fort sensiblement une certaine souëveté, tranquillité, et certain doux repos de mon esprit en la Providence divine, qui répand en mon âme un grand contentement en ses déplaisirs.

Or bien, voilà mes mouvements représentés comme je puis. Mais vous, ma chère fille, que voulez-vous dire, quand vous me dites que vous vous êtes bien trouvée en cette occasion telle que vous étiez? Dites-moi, je vous prie, notre aiguille marine n'a-t-elle pas toujours été tendante à sa belle étoile, à son saint astre, à son Dieu? Votre cœur, qu'a-t-il fait? Avez-vous scandalisé ceux qui vous ont vue sur ce point, et en cet événement? Or cela, ma fille, dites-le-moi clairement : car, voyez-vous, je n'ai pas trouvé bon que vous ayez offert, ni votre vie, ni celle de quelqu'un de vos autres enfants en échange de celle de la défunte.

Non, ma chère fille, il ne faut pas seulement agréer que Dieu nous frappe; mais il faut acquiescer que ce soit sur l'endroit qui lui plaira. Il faut laisser le choix à Dieu, car il lui appartient. David offroit sa vie pour celle de son Absalon, mais c'est parce qu'il mouroit perdu; c'est en ce cas-là qu'il faut conjurer Dieu : mais es pertes temporelles, ô ma fille! que Dieu touche et pince par où il voudra, et sur telle corde de notre luth qu'il choisira, jamais il ne fera qu'une bonne harmonie. Seigneur Jésus, sans réserve, sans si, sans mais, sans exception, sans limitation, votre volonté soit faite sur père, sur mère, sur fille, en tout et partout. Ah! je ne dis pas qu'il ne faille souhaiter et prier pour leur conservation : mais de dire à Dieu : Laissez ceci, et prenez cela; ma chère fille, il ne le faut pas dire. Aussi ne ferons-nous : non pas, non, ma fille, moyennant la grâce de sa divine bonté.

Je vous vois, ce me semble, ma chère fille, avec votre cœur vigoureux, qui aime et qui veut puissamment. Je lui en sais bon gré : car ces cœurs à demi morts, à quoi sont-ils bons? Mais il faut que nous fassions un exercice particulier, toutes les semaines une fois, de vouloir et d'aimer la volonté de Dieu plus vigoureusement (je passe plus avant), plus tendrement, plus amoureusement que nulle chose du monde; et cela, non-seulement es occurrences supportables, mais aux plus insupportables. Vous en trouverez je ne sais quoi dans le petit livre du Combat spirituel, que je vous ai si souvent recommandé.

Hélas! ma fille, à la vérité dire, cette leçon est haute; mais aussi Dieu, pour qui nous l'apprenons, est le Très-Haut. Vous avez, ma fille, quatre enfants, vous avez un beau-père, un si cher frère, et puis encore un père spirituel; tout cela vous est fort cher, et avec raison : car Dieu le veut. Eh bien! si Dieu vous ravissoit tout cela, n'auriez-vous pas encore assez d'avoir Dieu? N'est-ce pas tout, à votre avis? Quand nous n'aurions que Dieu, ne seroit-ce pas beaucoup?

Hélas! le fils de Dieu, mon cher Jésus, n'en eut presque pas tant sur la croix, lorsqu'ayant tout quitté et laissé pour l'amour et obéissance de son père, il fut comme quitté et laissé de lui; et le torrent des passions emportant sa barque à la désolation, à peine sentoit-il l'aiguille, qui non-seulement regardoit, mais étoit inséparablement unie à son père. Oui, il étoit un avec son père; mais la partie inférieure n'en savoit ni apercevoir du tout rien : essai que jamais la divine bonté n'a fait ni fera en aucune autre âme; car elle ne le pourroit supporter.

Hé bien donc, ma fille, si Dieu nous ôtoit tout, si ne s'ôtera-t-il jamais à nous pendant que nous ne le voudrons pas. Mais il y a de plus : c'est que toutes nos pertes et nos séparations ne sont que pour ce petit moment. O vraiment, pour si peu que cela, il faut avoir patience.

Je m'épanche, ce me semble, un peu trop. Mais quoi? je suis mon cœur qui ne pense jamais trop dire avec cette si chère fille. Je vous envoie un écusson pour vous agréer; et puisqu'il vous plaît de faire faire le service là où cette fille repose en son corps, je le trouve bon; mais sans grandes pompes, sinon celles que justement la coutume chrétienne exige : car à quoi bon tout le reste? Vous ferez par après tirer en liste tous ces frais, et ceux de sa maladie, et me l'envoierez; car je le veux ainsi : et cependant on priera Dieu en deçà pour cette âme; et lui ferons joliment ses petits honneurs. Nous n'envoierons point à son quarantain : non, ma fille, il ne faut pas tant de mystères pour une fille qui n'a jamais tenu aucun rang en ce monde : car ce seroit se faire moquer. Vous me connoissez, j'aime la simplicité et en la mort et en la vie. Je serai bien aise de savoir le nom et le titre de l'église où elle est.

Voilà tout pour ce sujet. Votre, etc.

Scripture echoes

  1. ↩John.18.11 — Jesus said to Peter, "Put your sword into its sheath. The cup that the Father has given me—shall I not drink it?"
  2. ↩Mark.7.37 — And they were utterly astonished, saying, 'He has done all things well; he even makes the deaf to hear and the mute to speak.'
  3. ↩Rom.8.28 — And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good — for those who are called according to his purpose.
  4. ↩Ezek.36.26 — And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh.
  5. ↩Matt.6.10;Luke.11.2 — Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Luke.11.2 — He said to them, "When you pray, say: Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come."
  6. ↩John.10.30 — I and the Father are one.

Notes

  1. 1 ↩Source 'es choses' is the historical spelling of 'ès choses' (en les choses), rendered as 'in the things'.
  2. 2 ↩A hanap is a large drinking cup or goblet. Here it continues the letter's chalice imagery: presenting the bitter cup of the death-news, not a literal vessel.
  3. 3 ↩Pastoral/episcopal visitation (Francis as bishop), not a social call.
  4. 4 ↩Rendered as 'pride' (proud resistance or self-asserting bearing). In this grief context it may also shade toward stiff/rebellious haughtiness rather than mere vanity.
  5. 5 ↩"obligation" rendered as "debt of gratitude" (sense of indebtedness for care received), not legal duty.
  6. 6 ↩"ressentiment" here is early-modern French for felt grief/impression of the loss, not modern English "resentment".
  7. 7 ↩«je suis tant homme que rien plus» is an older French intensifier: thoroughly man/human, with nothing beyond that—weakness of flesh, not mere masculinity.
  8. 8 ↩«déplaisir» here is sorrow/distress at the death, not mere annoyance; rendered as grief.
  9. 9 ↩French capendus (capendu / court-pendu): an old early-ripening apple variety; rendered as 'capendu apples' for clarity.
  10. 10 ↩French engendrée à son Sauveur is baptismal language of spiritual generation, not natural parenthood.
  11. 11 ↩créature kept as a person/soul under God; ordre de sacerdoce rendered as priestly office (his holy orders).
  12. 12 ↩souëveté is an older spelling of suavité (sweetness). ressentiments here means keen interior feelings/pangs, not modern 'resentments'. ses déplaisirs taken as the soul's afflictions under Providence's hard dispensations.
  13. 13 ↩« vous vous êtes bien trouvée … telle que vous étiez »: she claims she came through the bereavement well and remained in her ordinary spiritual state; Francis is probing that self-report.
  14. 14 ↩« aiguille marine » is the magnetized needle of a marine compass; a favorite Salesian image for the heart that keeps turning toward God as its pole-star.
  15. 15 ↩« scandalisé » here means giving spiritual scandal / being a stumbling block by visible disorder under grief, not mere social offense.
  16. 16 ↩mouroit perdu: dying in a state of spiritual ruin (Absalom dying in rebellion), not merely dying physically; this is why Sales allows urgent intercession to spare that kind of death, unlike ordinary temporal losses.
  17. 17 ↩es pertes temporelles: older French ès = en les, 'in temporal losses.'
  18. 18 ↩Parenthetical «je passe plus avant» is an authorial aside meaning he will push the claim further (not a narrative transition). Old French «es» = «ès» («in the»).
  19. 19 ↩«Combat spirituel» names Scupoli's classic (Il combattimento spirituale), a work de Sales repeatedly recommended for formation in willing God's will.
  20. 20 ↩beau-père rendered as father-in-law (usual early-modern sense for a married woman); could also mean stepfather if the familial context requires it.
  21. 21 ↩"n'en eut presque pas tant" picks up the previous thought of still having God as enough: on the cross Jesus almost lacked even that felt possession. "L'aiguille" is the magnetic needle of a compass (a navigation metaphor for the soul's fixed orientation toward the Father).
  22. 22 ↩"La partie inférieure" is the lower / sensitive part of Christ's human nature (as distinguished from the higher will that remained united to the Father). "Essai" = a unique trial or testing, not a casual experiment.
  23. 23 ↩The second clause uses older French intensive/inverted future (si ne s'ôtera-t-il jamais): rendered as a strong assurance that God will never withdraw himself, not as a second 'if'.
  24. 24 ↩« je suis mon cœur »: suis from suivre (I follow my heart), not être (I am).
  25. 25 ↩« écusson »: heraldic escutcheon (coat of arms), likely for the tomb or memorial. « le service »: the funeral office/Mass for the dead.
  26. 26 ↩« en deçà »: on this side / here (where the writer is), as opposed to where the body lies. « joliment » in period French: properly, fittingly—not merely 'prettily'.
  27. 27 ↩« quarantain »: the forty-day period of mourning observances/Masses after death. « mystères » here means elaborate ceremonies/formalities, not theological mysteries.
  28. 28 ↩French letter-close truncation of a conventional complimentary formula (e.g. Votre très humble…); rendered as the parallel English abbreviated close.

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