Caput XXVII. De monacho stimulum carnis duris macerationibus vix comprimente, non penitus exstinguente.
The Monk's War Against the Flesh
A monk, tormented by natural impulses and vicious habit, rises against his own flesh with bitter hatred, subjecting his body to severe fasting and suppression of its natural needs.
I knew a monk who, at the beginning of his conversion, was so powerfully tempted by natural impulses, by the force of a vicious habit, and by the suggestion of a cunning enemy, that he was afraid his chastity was in danger; he rose up against himself, and against his own flesh, conceiving a most bitter hatred, nothing more than for the very thing he would desire and seek after. And so by fasting he was macerating his body, even subtracting from himself what was owed to it, and he was also suppressing its natural impulses.
Bodily Torments and Cold Water
When weakness compels him to relent, the flesh surges back, and he plunges into cold water singing psalms, and also burns and stings his body to overcome fire with fire.
But when again excessive weakness compelled him to indulge himself more, behold, the flesh, raising its head, was once again infesting the rest it had acquired, as it was thought; and casting himself into cold waters, trembling for a while, he was singing psalms and praying. Often, also, feeling unlawful impulses, he was rubbing his body with nettles, and opening the fire to the bare flesh, he overcame fire with fire.
Prostrate Before Jesus
When all bodily torments fail, he falls at Jesus' feet, weeping and pleading for either death or healing, crying out that he will not let go until he is blessed.
And when all these things were not enough, nevertheless the spirit of fornication pressed upon him; then, what alone remained, prostrate before the feet of Jesus, he prays, weeps, sighs, asks, adjures, and entreats, that either he kill or heal; he cries out frequently, 'I will not go away, I will not rest, nor will I let you go unless you bless me': relief is granted for an hour, but safety is denied.
When the Flesh Rests, the Heart Burns
Even when bodily stimuli subside, unlawful affections invade the breast, and he cries out to God in anguish.
For when the flesh's stimuli were resting a little, unlawful affections invade the breast. My God!
Love Poured In at Last
After enduring great torments, so great a love of chastity is poured into him that all pleasures, whether felt or imagined, are cast out and withdrawn.
What crosses, what torments that wretched man then endured, until so great a love of chastity was poured into him that all the pleasures that can be felt or imagined, whatsoever she might cast in, and then also withdrew from him.
No Security Even in Age
But this peace lasts only a time, and now disease comes with old age, yet even old age offers no flattering sense of safety.
But only for a time — and now disease has come upon old age, and even so, old age does not thereby flatter itself with a sense of security.12
Read the original Latin
Novi ego monachum, qui cum initio suae conversionis, tam naturalibus incentivis, tam violentia vitiosae consuetudinis, tam suggestione callidi hostis tentaretur, ut pudicitiam suam periclitari timeret, erexit se contra se, et adversus suam carnem suavissimum concipiens odium nihil magis quam quod ad eam affectaret, expeteret. Itaque inedia macerabat corpus, et quae ei de se debebantur subtrahens, etiam motus ejus simplices comprimebat. Sed cum iterum nimia debilitas sibi plus indulgere compelleret, ecce caro rursus caput erigens acquisitam, ut putabatur, infestabat quietem; plerisque se frigidis aquis injiciens, tremens aliquandiu psallebat et orabat. Saepe etiam illicitos sentiens motus urticis fricabat corpus, et nudae carni aperiens incendium incendio superabat. Et cum haec omnia non sufficerent, nihilominus eum spiritus fornicationis urgeret; tunc quod solum superfuit, prostratus ante pedes Jesu orat, plorat, suspirat, rogat, adjurat, obtestatur, ut aut occidat, vel sanet; clamat crebro, Non abibo, non quiesco, nec te dimittam nisi benedixeris mihi: praestatur ad horam refrigerium, sed negatur securitas. Quiescentibus enim paululum carnis stimulis affectiones illicitae pectus invadunt. Deus meus! quas cruces, quae tormenta tunc pertulit miser ille, donec tanta infusa est ei dilectio castitatis, ut omnes quae sentiri possunt, vel cogitari, quasvis injiceret voluptates; et tunc quoque recessit ab eo.
Sed usque ad tempus et nunc senectuti morbus accessit, nec sic tamen se de securitate blanditur.
Notes
De institutione inclusarum (A Rule of Life for a Recluse) companion
A rule only lives if you keep it daily
Chosen Portion gives your new rule its anchor: one free devotional portion every day.
Aelred built his sister's day around fixed times of prayer and meditation; Chosen Portion supplies the fixed daily portion that makes a modern rule of life keepable.
- Anchor your rule with a fixed 10-minute daily portion
- Practice Aelred's threefold meditation with guided daily prompts
- Review and adjust your one-page rule after 30 days of tracked practice