De la difference des amours
Benevolence and Concupiscence
The author distinguishes between love of concupiscence, which seeks personal gain, and love of benevolence, which seeks the good of the beloved.
1. Love is divided into two kinds: one is called the love of benevolence, and the other, the love of concupiscence.1 The love of concupiscence is the love by which we love something for the profit we hope to gain from it; the love of benevolence is the love by which we love something for its own good—for what else is having love of benevolence toward a person than willing that person's good?2
Complacency and Desire
Love of benevolence manifests as complacency when the beloved already possesses the good, and as desire when the good is yet to be attained.
2. If the one for whom we wish some good already has it and possesses it, then we wish it for him through the pleasure and contentment we take in his having and possessing it; and so love of complacency is formed, which is nothing other than the act of the will by which it unites and joins itself to another's pleasure, contentment, and good.3 But if the person we wish well does not yet have that good, we desire it for them, and so this love is called a love of desire.
The Nature of Friendship
Friendship is defined as mutual benevolence characterized by love, knowledge of that love, and intimate communication.
3. When the love of benevolence is practiced without any return from the one who is loved, it is called the love of simple benevolence; when it comes with mutual return, it is called the love of friendship.4 That mutual return consists of three things: friends must love one another, know that they love one another, and share communication, intimacy, and familiarity.5
Dilection and Preference
Dilection is a form of friendship where one friend is chosen and preferred over others, ranging from simple preference to excellence.
4. If we simply love a friend without preferring him to others, the friendship is simple; if we prefer him, then that friendship will be called dilection—as one might say, a love of election—because among several things we love, we choose that one in order to prefer it.6 5. Now, when by this dilection we do not prefer one friend a great deal over the others, it is called simple dilection; but when, on the contrary, we greatly and far prefer one friend to others of his kind, then that friendship is called a dilection of excellence.7
The Supremacy of Charity
Charity is identified as the incomparable, sovereign love reserved for God alone, transcending all human comparisons.
6. Now if the esteem and preference we give our friend, however great it may be and even if it has no equal, can still enter into comparison and proportion with the others, the friendship will be called eminent love.8 But if the eminence of this friendship is beyond all proportion and comparison, above every other, then it will be called incomparable, sovereign, supereminent love—and in a word, it will be charity, which is due to God alone.9 In fact, even in our own language, the words dear, dearly, and to hold dear convey a certain esteem, a price, a particular worth. Just as among ordinary people the word man has almost been reserved for males, as the more excellent sex, and the word adoration has likewise almost been reserved for God as its principal object, so the name charity has been reserved for the love of God, as for the supreme and sovereign love.10
Read the original Latin
1. On partage l'amour en deux especes, dont l'une est appellee amour de bienveuillance, et l'autre, amour de convoitise. L'amour de convoitise est celuy par lequel nous aymons quelque chose pour le prouffit que nous en pretendons; l'amour de bienveuillance est celuy par lequel nous aymons quelque chose pour le bien d'icelle,car qu'est-ce autre chose avoir l'amour de bienveuillance envers une personne que de luy vouloir du bien?
2. Si celuy a qui nous voulons du bien l'a des-ja et le possede,alhors nous le luy voulons par le playsir et contentement que nous avons de quoy il l'a et le possede; et ainsy se forme l'amour de complaysance, qui n'est autre chose que l'acte de la volonté par lequel elle s'unit et joint au playsir, contentement et bien d'autruy. Mays si celuy a qui nous voulons du bien ne l'a pas encor, nous le luy desirons, et partant, cet amour se nomme amour de desir.
3. Quand l'amour de bienveuillance est exercé sans correspondance de la part de la chose aymee, il s'appelle amour de simple bienveuillance; quand il est avec mutuelle correspondance, il s'appelle amour d'amitié. Or, la mutuelle correspondance consiste en trois pointz: car il faut que les amis s'entr'ayment, sachent qu'ilz s'entr'ayment, et qu'ilz ayent communication,privauté et familiarité ensemble.
4. Si nous aymons simplement l'ami, sans le preferer aux autres,l'amitié est simple; si nous le preferons,alhors cette amitié s'appellera dilection, comme qui diroit amour de election, parce qu'entre plusieurs choses que nous aymons, nous choisissons celle-la pour la preferer.
5. Or, quand par cette dilection nous ne preferons pas de beaucoup un ami aux autres, elle s'appelle simple dilection;mais quand, au contraire, nous preferons grandement et de beaucoup un ami aux autres de sa sorte, alhors cette amitié s'appelle dilection d'excellence.
6. Que si l'estime et preference que nous faysons de l'ami,quoy qu'elle soit grande et n'en ait point d'egale, ne laisse pas neanmoins de pouvoir entrer en comparayson et proportion avec les autres,l'amitié s'appellera dilection eminente. Mais si l'eminence de cette amitié est hors de proportion et de comparayson au dessus de toute autre,alhors elle sera dite dilection incomparable, souveraine, sureminente et, en un mot, ce sera la charité,laquelle est deüe a un seul Dieu. Et de fait, en nostre langage mesme, les motz de cher, cherement, encherir, representent une certaine estime, un prix, une valeur particulière; de sorte que, comme le mot d'homme parmi le peuple est presque demeuré aux masles, comme au sexe plus excellent, et celuy d'adoration est aussi presque demeuré pour Dieu, comme pour son principal objet, ainsy le nom de charité est demeuré a l'amour de Dieu, comme a la supreme et souveraine dilection.
Notes
- 1 ↩Salesian technical pair: amour de bienveillance (willing another's good) vs. amour de convoitise (loving something for the advantage sought from it). English keeps the scholastic terms benevolence and concupiscence; the next sentence defines both.
- 2 ↩pretendons here is older French for claim/aim at/expect, not modern English 'pretend'; rendered as hope to gain. prouffit = profit/advantage.
- 3 ↩French amour de complaysance (complaisance) is the classical Salesian term for taking pleased satisfaction in another's good (complacentia), not modern English 'smug self-satisfaction.'
- 4 ↩bienveuillance is kept as 'benevolence' (technical sense: willing good to another); correspondance is rendered as 'return' for mutual reciprocity, not mere communication.
- 5 ↩privauté rendered as 'intimacy' (private, confidential nearness), distinct from mere familiarité ('familiarity').
- 6 ↩Sales treats *dilection* as a technical name for preferential friendship and links it, by wordplay, to *élection* (choice/selection): loving one friend above others among those we already love.
- 7 ↩Sales keeps dilection as a technical term (preferential love / love of election, from Lat. dilectio). Simple dilection vs. dilection of excellence marks degree of preference, not a different kind of affection.
- 8 ↩French dilection is rendered as love here; Sales uses it as a technical grade of friendship-love (simple, of excellence, eminent, incomparable), distinct from charité (charity) in the next sentence.
- 9 ↩charité is rendered charity because Sales names the theological virtue owed to God alone, not generic benevolence or almsgiving.
- 10 ↩Sales plays on French cher / chèrement / enchérir (dear / dearly / to raise the price, make dearer) as cognate imagery for charité (from Latin caritas, dearness). English dear / dearly / to hold dear preserves the sense-chain; enchérir also means to bid up the price, which matches prix and valeur.
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