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Chapter 3ParrLament.1.3

Blind Ignorance, Carnal Reason, and a Broken Baptism

Blind Ignorance and Carnal Reason

The speaker contrasts St. Paul's focus on Christ crucified with his own self-righteous pride, revealing a heart hardened by carnal reasoning.

St. Paul wanted to know nothing except Christ crucified—even after he had been caught up into the third heaven, where he heard secrets it wasn't fitting or proper to tell anyone—and he considered all his works and deeds as nothing, so that he might win Christ.✦✦✦ And I, most presumptuously thinking nothing of Christ crucified, set about putting forward my own righteousness, saying with the proud Pharisee: “Good Lord, I thank you—I am not like other people.”✦ “I am no adulterer, nor a fornicator”—and so on with such words of vain glory, praising myself and despising others, working like a hired hand for wages or a reward, and not as a loving child, purely for love alone, without regard to wages or reward, as I ought to have done.✦ I also didn't consider how good a Father I had, who showed me his love and mercy entirely from his own grace and goodness: that when I was most his enemy, he sent his only begotten and beloved Son into this world of wretchedness and misery to suffer a most cruel and agonizing death for my redemption.✦ But my heart was so stony and hard that this great gift was never truly and livingly stamped on my heart, though I often repeated it with my words—thinking I was sufficiently instructed in it, when in fact I was in blind ignorance—and yet I had such a high opinion of my own judgment and opinion that I considered it pointless to seek any deeper knowledge of it.✦1 Paul calls Christ "the wisdom of God," and that same Christ was foolishness to me: my pride and blindness deceived me, and the hardness of my heart resisted the growth of truth within it.✦ Those were the fruits of my carnal, merely human reasonings: to prize rotten ignorance as if it were ripe and timely knowledge.2 Such also is the malice and wickedness that possesses human hearts: such is the wisdom and pleasure of the flesh.

The Broken Baptism: A Life Contrary to Christ

The speaker confesses that despite his baptismal profession, his life has been the opposite of Christ's in every way—from pride and disobedience to hardness of heart and love of the world.

I professed Christ in my baptism, when I began to live, but after baptism I turned away from him as my life went on — just like the pagans who had never begun at all. Christ was innocent and free of all sin, and I wallowed in filthy sin and was free from none.✦ Christ was obedient to his Father even to death on the cross, and I was disobedient and utterly stubborn, even to the point of confounding the truth.✦3 Christ was meek and humble in heart, and I was utterly proud and vainglorious.✦ Christ despised the world with all its vanities, and I made it my god because of those vanities.✦ Christ came to serve his brothers and sisters, and I longed to rule over them.✦ Christ despised worldly honor, and I took great delight in winning it. Christ loved the lowly and simple things of the world, and I prized what was most beautiful and pleasant.4 Christ loved poverty, and I loved wealth. Christ was gentle and merciful to the poor, and I was hard-hearted and harsh. Christ prayed for his enemies, and I hated mine.✦ Christ rejoiced in the conversion of sinners, and I was not grieved to see them turn back to sin.✦ By this declaration, all creatures can see how far I was from Christ and without Christ—yes, how contrary to Christ I was, though I bore the name of a Christian. So much so that if anyone had said I was without Christ, I would have stubbornly denied it. And yet I neither knew Christ nor why he came. As for the effect and purpose of his coming, I had a certain vain, blind knowledge—cold and dead—that can go along with every kind of sin, as this confession and open declaration of mine plainly show.

The Lament and Hope of the Penitent

The speaker mourns his wasted life, acknowledges his deserving of wrath, but clings to the hope that God's mercy exceeds all iniquity.

What reason I have now to lament, mourn, sigh, and weep over my life and time so badly spent! With how much humility and lowliness I ought to come and acknowledge my sins to God, thanking him that in his abundant goodness he has been pleased to give me time to repent—for when I consider my sins, I know them to be so grievous and so excessive in number that I have often deserved eternal damnation.5 And since I have deserved God's wrath so many times over, I must unceasingly give thanks to God's mercy, pleading also that this delay of punishment not make his stroke even harsher, since my own conscience condemns my former deeds.6 But his mercy exceeds all iniquity.✦ And if I should not hope like this—alas, where would I look for refuge and comfort? No mortal has the power to help me, and because of the multitude of my sins I dare not lift my eyes to heaven, where the seat of judgment is—I have so greatly offended God.✦

Read the original English

St Paul desired to know nothing but Christ crucified, after he had been rapt into the third heaven, where he heard such secrets as were not convenient and meet to utter to men, but counted all his works and doings as nothing, to win Christ. And I, most presumptuously thinking nothing of Christ crucified, went about to set forth mine own righteousness, saying with the proud Pharisee: “Good Lord, I thank thee, I am not like other men. I am none adulterer, nor fornicator” and so forth with such like words of vainglory, extolling myself and despising others, working as an hired servant, for wages, or else for reward, and not as a loving child, only for very love, without respect of wages or reward, as I ought to have done.

Neither did I consider how beneficial a Father I had, who did show me his charity and mercy of his own mere grace and goodness: that when I was most his enemy, he sent his only begotten and well-beloved Son into this world of wretchedness and misery, to suffer most cruel and sharp death for my redemption. But my heart was so stony and hard that this great benefit was never truly and lively printed in my heart, although with my words it was often rehearsed; thinking myself to be sufficiently instructed in the same ─ and being, indeed, in blind ignorance ─ and yet I stood so well in mine own judgement and opinion that I thought it vain to seek the increase of my knowledge therein. Paul calleth Christ “the wisdom of God,” and even the same Christ was to me foolishness: my pride and blindness deceived me, and the hardness of my heart withstood the growing of truth within it.

Such were the fruits of my carnal and human reasons, to have rotten ignorance in price for ripe and seasonable knowledge. Such also is the malice and wickedness that possesseth the hearts of men: such is the wisdom and pleasing of the flesh.

I professed Christ in my baptism, when I began to live, but I swerved from him after baptism, in continuance of my living, even as the heathen which never had begun. Christ was innocent and void of all sin, and I wallowed in filthy sin and was free from no sin. Christ was obedient unto his Father even to the death of the cross, and I disobedient, and most stubborn, even to the confusion of truth. Christ was meek and humble in heart, and I most proud and vainglorious. Christ despised the world, with all the vanities thereof, and I made it my god because of the vanities. Christ came to serve his brethren, and I coveted to rule over them. Christ despised worldly honour, and I much delighted to attain the same. Christ loved the base and simple things of the world, and I esteemed the most fair and pleasant things.

Christ loved poverty, and I wealth. Christ was gentle and merciful to the poor, and I hard-hearted and ungentle. Christ prayed for his enemies, and I hated mine. Christ rejoiced in the conversion of sinners, and I was not grieved to see their reversion to sin. By this declaration, all creatures may perceive how far I was from Christ and without Christ; yea, how contrary to Christ, although I bore the name of a Christian. Insomuch that if any man had said I had been without Christ, I would have stiffly withstood the same. And yet I neither knew Christ nor wherefore he came. As concerning the effect and purpose of his coming, I had a certain vain, blind knowledge, both cold and dead, which may be had with all sin: as it doth plainly appear by this my confession and open declaration.

What cause now have I to lament, mourn, sigh and weep for my life and time so evil spent! With how much humility and lowliness ought I to come and knowledge my sins to God, giving him thanks that it hath pleased him, of his abundant goodness, to give me time of repentance: for I know my sins, in the consideration of them, to be so grievous, and in the number so exceeding, that I have deserved very often eternal damnation. And for the deserving of God’s wrath, so manifoldly due, I must uncessantly give thanks to the mercy of God, beseeching also that the same delay of punishment cause not his plague to be the sorer, since mine own conscience condemneth my former doings. But his mercy exceedeth all iniquity. And if I should not thus hope: alas, what should I seek for refuge and comfort? No mortal man is of power to help me, and, for the multitude of my sins, I dare not lift up mine eyes to heaven, where the seat of judgement is ─ I have so much offended God.

Scripture echoes

  1. ↩1Cor.2.2 — For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and him crucified.
  2. ↩2Cor.12.2-2Cor.12.4 — I know a person in Christ fourteen years ago—whether in the body I do not know, or out of the body I do not know; God knows—such a one was caught up to the third heaven. 2Cor.12.3 — And I know that such a person—whether in the body or apart from the body, I do not know; God knows— 2Cor.12.4 — that he was caught up into Paradise and heard inexpressible words, which it is not lawful for a person to speak.
  3. ↩Phil.3.7-Phil.3.8 — But whatever was gain to me, these things I have counted as loss on account of Christ. Phil.3.8 — But more than that—indeed, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have lost everything and consider it all rubbish, so that I may gain Christ.
  4. ↩Luke.18.11 — The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed these things toward himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector.'
  5. ↩Luke.18.11-Luke.18.12 — The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed these things toward himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like the rest of people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector.' Luke.18.12 — I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all that I get.
  6. ↩Rom.5.8-Rom.5.10;John.3.16 — But God demonstrates his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Rom.5.9 — Much more then, having now been justified by his blood, we will be saved through him from the wrath. Rom.5.10 — For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by his life. John.3.16 — For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but have eternal life.
  7. ↩Ezek.36.26 — And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh.
  8. ↩1Cor.1.24;1Cor.1.18-1Cor.1.25 — but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God. 1Cor.1.18 — For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 1Cor.1.19 — For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will set aside." 1Cor.1.20 — Where is the wise one? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 1Cor.1.21 — For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through its wisdom, God was pleased to save those who believe through the foolishness of the proclaimed message. 1Cor.1.22 — For Jews demand signs, and Greeks seek wisdom, 1Cor.1.23 — but we proclaim Christ crucified: to Jews a stumbling block, and to Gentiles foolishness, 1Cor.1.24 — but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God. 1Cor.1.25 — For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.
  9. ↩2Cor.5.21;Heb.4.15;1Pet.2.22 — God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. Heb.4.15 — For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tested in every way, yet without sin. 1Pet.2.22 — He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.
  10. ↩Phil.2.8 — And he humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
  11. ↩Matt.11.29 — Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
  12. ↩1John.2.15-1John.2.17;Eccl.1.2 — Do not love the world, nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 1John.2.16 — For all that is in the world—the desire of the flesh and the desire of the eyes and the pride of life—is not from the Father, but is from the world. 1John.2.17 — And the world is passing away, and its desire; but the one who does the will of God remains forever. Eccl.1.2 — Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.
  13. ↩Matt.20.28;Mark.10.45 — Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many. Mark.10.45 — For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.
  14. ↩Luke.23.34;Matt.5.44 — Jesus was saying, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided his garments by casting lots. Matt.5.44 — But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
  15. ↩Luke.15.7 — I tell you, there will be joy in heaven over one sinner who repents more than over ninety-nine righteous persons who have no need of repentance.
  16. ↩Rom.5.20 — The law came in alongside so that the trespass might increase; but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more.
  17. ↩Luke.18.13 — But the tax collector, standing far off, was not even willing to lift his eyes to heaven, but kept beating his breast, saying, 'God, be merciful to me, the sinner.'

Notes

  1. 1 ↩Source 'lively printed' means vitally/livingly impressed, not merely 'vividly'; rendered as 'livingly stamped' to keep the force of interior impression versus empty recitation.
  2. 2 ↩Early modern “to have X in price for Y” means to value X as (or in place of) Y; rendered as prizing rotten ignorance as if it were ripe, timely knowledge.
  3. 3 ↩Early modern 'confusion of truth' can mean the overthrow, shame, or confounding of truth; rendered as 'confounding the truth' to keep that force without archaism.
  4. 4 ↩'Base' in the source means lowly/humble rather than morally base; rendered 'lowly' to preserve that contrast with 'fair and pleasant.'
  5. 5 ↩Source 'knowledge my sins' is Early Modern English for 'acknowledge/confess my sins,' not intellectual knowing.
  6. 6 ↩Source 'plague' is rendered as 'stroke' in the sense of divine affliction/judgment, not epidemic disease; 'sorer' as 'still harsher.'

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