Moradas sextas, Capítulo 2. Trata de algunas maneras con que despierta nuestro Señor al alma, que parece no hay en ellas qué temer, aunque es cosa muy subida.
The Bridegroom's Gentle Awakening
The Lord awakens the soul with a sudden, sweet wound of love that leaves her longing for Him.
1. It seems we've left the little dove alone for quite a while — and we haven't; because these trials are what make her take a higher flight.1 So let's begin now to talk about how the Bridegroom deals with her, and how, before she is wholly His, He makes her long for it intensely — by means so delicate that the soul herself doesn't understand them, and I don't think I'll manage to explain it so that anyone understands, unless they've been through it; because these are impulses so delicate and subtle, rising from deep within the soul, that I don't know any comparison that fits.2 2. It's very different from anything we can bring about here, and even from the consolations I've already described: many times, when the person herself is distracted and not keeping her mind on God, His Majesty awakens her—like a comet flashing past, or like thunder, even though no sound is heard. Yet the soul clearly understands that she was called by God, and so clearly that sometimes, especially at the beginning, it makes her tremble and even cry out, though nothing is hurting her.3 She feels herself wounded most sweetly, yet she can't figure out how or who wounded her; but she knows well that it is something precious, and she would never want to be healed of that wound. She complains to her Spouse with words of love—even spoken aloud—unable to do anything else, because she understands that He is present, yet He will not show Himself in a way that lets her rejoice in Him. And it is a heavy pain, though savory and sweet; and even if she doesn't want to have it, she can't. But she would never wish to be without it: it satisfies her far more than the savory absorption without pain that belongs to the prayer of quiet.4
The Sweet Pain of Love
The soul experiences a delicious pain from a spark of divine fire, a wound that leaves her yearning for more.
3. I'm coming undone, sisters, trying to make you understand this operation of love — and I don't know how. Because it seems a contradictory thing: for the Beloved to make it clearly known that he is with the soul, and yet for him to seem to call her with a signal so certain that it can't be doubted, and with a whistle so piercing that the soul understands him and can't help hearing it; for it seems that when the Bridegroom, who is in the seventh dwelling, speaks in this way — which is not formed speech — all the people who are in the other dwellings don't dare stir, neither the senses, nor the imagination, nor the faculties.56 O my mighty God, how great your secrets are, and how different the things of the Holy Spirit are from anything that can be seen or understood here below — for nothing can declare even this so small a thing, next to the very great things you work in souls! 4. It works such a great operation in her that she's wasting away with desire and doesn't know what to ask for, because it clearly seems to her that her God is with her. You'll tell me: Well then, if she understands this, what does she desire, or what causes her pain? What greater good does she want? I don't know; I know that this pain seems to reach her inmost depths, and that when the One who wounds her draws the arrow out of them, it truly seems He carries them off after Himself, such is the feeling of love she feels.7 I was just thinking whether it might be that from this fire of the burning brazier that is my God some spark leaps out and strikes the soul, so that that blazing fire makes itself felt; and since it wasn't yet enough to burn her up, and it is so delightful, she's left with that pain, and at the touch it works that operation; and it seems to me this is the best comparison I've managed to find. For this delicious pain—and it isn't pain—doesn't stay in one state; though sometimes it lasts a long while, at other times it ends suddenly, just as the Lord wishes to communicate it to her, for it isn't something that can be obtained by any human means.8 But though it sometimes lasts a while, it goes away and comes back; in short, it never stays fixed, and for that reason it doesn't finish consuming the soul; rather, just as she's about to catch fire, the spark dies, and she's left longing to suffer again that loving pain it causes her.9
Certainty and Gratitude
Teresa provides clear signs to discern this grace from natural or demonic counterfeits and urges grateful service.
5. Here there's no need to wonder whether it's something stirred by nature itself, or caused by melancholy, or even a deception of the devil, or whether it's a whim; because it's something that can be very clearly understood to be this movement from where the Lord is, who is unchanging; and the operations aren't like those of other kinds of devotion, where being so absorbed in the delight can make us doubt.10 Here all the senses and faculties are without any absorption, watching what this may be, without hindering anything or being able to increase that delicious pain or take it away, as it seems to me.11 To anyone our Lord grants this favor—and if He has granted it to them, they'll understand it as they read this—let them give Him very many thanks, for they don't need to fear whether it's a deception; let them fear greatly that they might be ungrateful for so great a favor, and let them strive to serve and to grow better in every part of their life, and they'll see what it leads to and how they receive more and more; though for one person who had this, some years passed with it, and with that favor she was well satisfied—so much so that if she had served the Lord for a multitude of years with great hardships, she was left very well repaid by it.1213 May He be blessed forever and ever, amen. 6. You may notice that there is more certainty in this than in other things. In my judgment, for these reasons: first, because the devil can never give a sweet pain like this; he may give a savor and a delight that seem spiritual, but joining pain—and so much of it—with quiet and the soul's delight is not within his power, for all his powers are on the outside, and the pains he gives, when he does give them, are never, in my judgment, sweet or at peace, but restless and full of war.14 Second, because this sweet storm comes from a region other than those he can rule.15 Third, because of the great benefits that remain in the soul—most commonly, resolving to suffer for God and longing to undergo many hardships, and becoming much more determined to withdraw from earthly pleasures and conversations, and other things of the same kind.16 7. It's very clear that this is no mere fancy, because even if he tries at other times, he won't be able to counterfeit that. And it is so unmistakable that you can't imagine it—I mean, make it seem real when it isn't—or doubt that it is; and if any doubt remains, know that these are not true impulses—I mean, if you doubt whether you had it or not—because it makes itself felt the way a loud voice does to the ears. As for it being melancholy, that makes no sense at all, because melancholy only invents fantasies in the imagination; this other thing comes from deep within the soul.17 I may well be mistaken, but until I hear other reasons from someone who understands this, I'll always hold this opinion; and so I know of a person thoroughly afraid of these deceptions who could never feel that fear about this prayer.
Other Awakenings and Thanksgiving
The Lord also awakens the soul through gentle fragrances and desires, which should be received with thanksgiving.
8. Our Lord also often has other ways of waking the soul: suddenly, while she is praying aloud and paying little attention to anything interior, there seems to come a delightful kindling, as if all at once a fragrance so strong arrived that it spread through all the senses (I'm not saying it is a fragrance; I'm only offering this comparison), or something of that kind, solely to make her feel that the Bridegroom is there; it stirs a sweet desire in the soul to enjoy Him, and with this she is left ready to make great acts and give praise to our Lord.18 The origin of this favor is from the same place as what I've already described; but here there is nothing that causes pain, nor are the desires themselves to enjoy God painful: this is more ordinary for the soul to feel.19 Nor does it seem to me that there is anything to fear here, for some of the reasons already given—rather, we should try to receive this favor with thanksgiving.
Read the original Spanish
1. Parece que hemos dejado mucho la palomica, y no hemos; porque estos trabajos son los que la hacen tener más alto vuelo. Pues comencemos ahora a tratar de la manera que se ha con ella el Esposo y cómo antes que del todo lo sea se lo hace bien desear, por unos medios tan delicados, que el alma misma no los entiende, ni yo creo acertaré a decir para que lo entienda, si no fueren las que han pasado por ello; porque son unos impulsos tan delicados y sutiles, que proceden de lo muy interior del alma, que no sé comparación que poner que cuadre.
2. Va bien diferente de todo lo que acá podemos procurar y aun de los gustos que quedan dichos, que muchas veces estando la misma persona descuidada y sin tener la memoria en Dios, Su Majestad la despierta, a manera de una cometa que pasa de presto, o un trueno, aunque no se oye ruido; mas entiende muy bien el alma que fue llamada de Dios, y tan entendido, que algunas veces, en especial a los principios, la hace estremecer y aun quejar, sin ser cosa que le duele. Siente ser herida sabrosísimamente, mas no atina cómo ni quién la hirió; mas bien conoce ser cosa preciosa y jamás querría ser sana de aquella herida. Quéjase con palabras de amor, aun exteriores, sin poder hacer otra cosa, a su Esposo; porque entiende que está presente, mas no se quiere manifestar de manera que deje gozarse. Y es harta pena, aunque sabrosa y dulce; y aunque quiera no tenerla, no puede; mas esto no querría jamás: mucho más le satisface que el embebecimiento sabroso que carece de pena, de la oración de quietud.
3. Deshaciéndome estoy, hermanas, por daros a entender esta operación de amor, y no sé cómo. Porque parece cosa contraria dar a entender el Amado claramente que está con el alma, y parecer que la llama con una seña tan cierta que no se puede dudar y un silbo tan penetrativo para entenderle el alma que no le puede dejar de oír; porque no parece sino que en hablando el Esposo, que está en la séptima morada, por esta manera que no es habla formada), toda la gente que está en las otras no se osan bullir, ni sentidos, ni imaginación, ni potencias. ¡Oh mi poderoso Dios, qué grandes son vuestros secretos, y qué diferentes las cosas del Espíritu Santo a cuanto por acá se puede ver ni entender, pues con ninguna cosa se puede declarar ésta tan pequeña, para las muy grandes que obráis con las almas!
4. Hace en ella tan gran operación, que se está deshaciendo de deseo y no sabe qué pedir, porque claramente le parece que está con ella su Dios. Diréisme: pues si esto entiende, ¿qué desea, o qué le da pena? , ¿qué mayor bien quiere? - No lo sé; sé que parece le llega a las entrañas esta pena, y que, cuando de ellas saca la saeta el que la hiere, verdaderamente parece que se las lleva tras sí, según el sentimiento de amor siente. Estaba pensando ahora si sería que de este fuego del brasero encendido que es mi Dios, saltaba alguna centella y daba en el alma, de manera que se dejaba sentir aquel encendido fuego, y como no era aún bastante para quemarla y él es tan deleitoso, queda con aquella pena y al tocar hace aquella operación; y paréceme es la mejor comparación que he acertado a decir. Porque este dolor sabroso -y no es dolor- no está en un ser; aunque a veces dura gran rato, otras de presto se acaba, como quiere comunicarle el Señor, que no es cosa que se puede procurar por ninguna vía humana. Mas aunque está algunas veces rato, quítase y torna; en fin, nunca está estante, y por eso no acaba de abrasar el alma, sino ya que se va a encender, muérese la centella y queda con deseo de tornar a padecer aquel dolor amoroso que le causa.
5. Aquí no hay que pensar si es cosa movida del mismo natural, ni causada de melancolía, ni tampoco engaño del demonio, ni si es antojo; porque es cosa que se deja muy bien entender ser este movimiento de adonde está el Señor, que es inmutable; y las operaciones no son como de otras devociones, que el mucho embebecimiento del gusto nos puede hacer dudar. Aquí están todos los sentidos y potencias sin ningún embebecimiento, mirando qué podrá ser, sin estorbar nada ni poder acrecentar aquella pena deleitosa ni quitarla, a mi parecer. A quien nuestro Señor hiciere esta merced que, si se la ha hecho, en leyendo esto lo entenderá), déle muy muchas gracias, que no tiene que temer si es engaño; tema mucho si ha de ser ingrato a tan gran merced, y procure esforzarse a servir y a mejorar en todo su vida, y verá en lo que para y cómo recibe más y más; aunque a una persona que esto tuvo pasó algunos años con ello y con aquella merced estaba bien satisfecha, que si multitud de años sirviera al Señor con grandes trabajos, quedaba con ella muy bien pagada. Sea bendito por siempre jamás, amén.
6. Podrá ser que reparéis en cómo más en esto que en otras cosas hay seguridad - A mi parecer por estas razones: la primera, porque jamás el demonio debe dar pena sabrosa como ésta; podrá él dar el sabor y el deleite que parezca espiritual; mas juntar pena, y tanta, con quietud y gusto del alma, no es de su facultad; que todos sus poderes están por las adefueras, y sus penas, cuando él las da, no son, a mi parecer, jamás sabrosas ni con paz, sino inquietas y con guerra. La segunda, porque esta tempestad sabrosa viene de otra región de las que él puede señorear. La tercera, por los grandes provechos que quedan en el alma, que es lo más ordinario determinarse a padecer por Dios y desear tener muchos trabajos, y quedar muy más determinada a apartarse de los contentos y conversacionesde la tierra, y otras cosas semejantes.
7. El no ser antojo, está muy claro; porque aunque otras veces lo procure, no podrá contrahacer aquello. Y es cosa tan notoria, que en ninguna manera se puede antojar, digo parecer que es, no siendo, ni dudar de que es; y si alguna quedare, sepan que no son éstos verdaderos ímpetus; digo, si dudare en si le tuvo, o si no; porque así se da a sentir, como a los oídos una gran voz. Pues ser melancolía, no lleva camino ninguno, porque la melancolía no hace y fabrica sus antojos sino en la imaginación; estotro procede de lo interior del alma. Ya puede ser que yo me engañe, mas hasta oír otras razones a quien lo entienda, siempre estaré en esta opinión; y así sé de una persona harto llena de temor de estos engaños, que de esta oración jamás le pudo tener.
8. También suele nuestro Señor tener otras maneras de despertar el alma: que a deshora, estando rezando vocalmente y con descuido de cosa interior, parece viene una inflamación deleitosa, como si de presto viniese un olor tan grande que se comunicase por todos los sentidos no digo que es olor, sino pongo esta comparación) o cosa de esta manera, sólo para dar a sentir que está allí el Esposo; mueve un deseo sabroso de gozar el alma de El, y con esto queda dispuesta para hacer grandes actos y alabanzas a nuestro Señor. Su nacimiento de esta merced es de donde lo que queda dicho; mas aquí no hay cosa que dé pena, ni los deseos mismos de gozar a Dios son penosos: esto es más ordinario sentirlo el alma. Tampoco me parece que hay aquí que temer, por algunas razones de las dichas, sino procurar admitir esta merced con hacimiento de gracias.
Notes
- 1 ↩palomica: Teresa's diminutive for the soul as a little dove, carried forward from earlier mansions; kept as 'little dove' rather than flattened to 'soul'.
- 2 ↩antes que del todo lo sea: elliptical; rendered as 'before she is wholly His' (i.e., before full spousal union). Alternative reading would take 'lo' more narrowly of being spouse in name only; sense is preparatory desire before complete belonging.
- 3 ↩Spanish cometa can mean a celestial comet or a firework rocket; rendered as comet for the swift, startling flash Teresa compares to this awakening.
- 4 ↩oración de quietud kept as the technical Teresian term prayer of quiet; embebecimiento rendered as absorption for the sweet self-forgetful immersion of that prayer.
- 5 ↩Source has an unmatched closing parenthesis after "habla formada)"; treated as a parenthetical aside marking that this call is not articulated speech.
- 6 ↩"silbo" rendered as "whistle" (shepherd-call image); "habla formada" as "formed speech" (articulated locution, as opposed to this interior signal).
- 7 ↩"entrañas" rendered as "inmost depths" (not literal entrails); Teresa's arrow (saeta) image is the mystical wound of love.
- 8 ↩"no está en un ser" rendered as "doesn't stay in one state" (not fixed in a single lasting condition).
- 9 ↩"estante" rendered as "fixed" (stable/stationary); "no acaba de abrasar" as "doesn't finish consuming" (does not completely burn up).
- 10 ↩embebecimiento del gusto: rendered as being absorbed in the delight, matching Teresa's embebecimiento elsewhere as absorption; here the contrast is that other kinds of devotion can raise doubt precisely because of that sweet immersion.
- 11 ↩potencias: Teresa's faculties of the soul (intellect, memory, will); rendered as faculties. pena deleitosa kept as delicious pain for continuity with the preceding section's dolor sabroso / delicious pain.
- 12 ↩Source has an unmatched closing parenthesis after "entenderá)"; treated as a parenthetical aside: if the Lord has already granted this favor, the reader will recognize it while reading.
- 13 ↩merced rendered as favor (mystical grace conferred). en lo que para rendered as what it leads to. The third-person "una persona que esto tuvo" is Teresa's habitual self-reference.
- 14 ↩pena sabrosa: Teresa's oxymoron for a pain that is itself delicious/sweet; rendered 'sweet pain' to keep the paradox without archaic flavor.
- 15 ↩de otra región de las que él puede señorear: taken as 'from a region other than those he can dominate' (interior vs. the exterior domains of the devil), which fits the surrounding argument; the elliptical Spanish is slightly ambiguous.
- 16 ↩Source reading 'conversacionesde' treated as the obvious spacing error 'conversaciones de'.
- 17 ↩melancolía kept as melancholy in Teresa’s early-modern humoral/spiritual sense (not modern clinical depression).
- 18 ↩Source has a closing parenthesis after 'comparación' without a matching opening mark before 'no digo'; rendered as the intended parenthetical clarification.
- 19 ↩'Su nacimiento de esta merced es de donde lo que queda dicho' is compressed Spanish; rendered as origin/source continuity with the preceding interior impulse, not a new locus.
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