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Chapter 16ScalePerfB1.1.16

What a man schal use and refuse bi vertu of mekenes.

The Foundation of Humility

To labor securely in the spiritual life, one must establish a foundation of humility by recognizing one's own unworthiness and inability to serve God through outward works.

Now if you are to use these spiritual works wisely and labor in them securely, you need to begin very low. You need to have three things first, and on them, as on a sure foundation, you'll build all your work. These three are humility, sure faith, and whole intention toward God.1 First you need to have humility in this way. You should hold yourself, in your will and in your feeling if you can, unable to live among men or women, and unworthy to serve God in company with his servants, of no use to your fellow Christians, lacking both the skill and the strength to carry out the good works of the active life for the help of your fellow Christians as other men and women do; and therefore, as a wretch, an outcast and refuse of all men and women, you are shut up alone in a house, so that you should harm no man or woman by a bad example, since you cannot profit them by good working.2 Beyond this, you need to look further: since you are so unable to serve our Lord through outward bodily works, you must consider yourself even more unable and unworthy to serve him spiritually through inward occupation. For our Lord is a spirit, as the prophet says: Spiritus ante faciem nostram Christus dominus est (Lamentations 4:20).✦ Before our face a spirit is our Lord Jesus Christ.✦3

Aspiration Amidst Frailty

While acknowledging one's spiritual blindness and frailty, the seeker is encouraged to persist in longing for the contemplative life, trusting in God's mercy for future fulfillment.

The service natural to Him is spiritual, as He Himself says: True worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth (John 4:23).✦4 True servants will worship the Father in spirit and in truth.✦ So, if you are so coarse, unlearned, fleshly, and blind to spiritual things—especially regarding your own soul, which you must know first if you are to come to the knowledge of God—how could you feel capable or worthy of that state and the likeness of the contemplative life, a life which, as I’ve said, lies principally in the spiritual knowing and love of God?5 I say this not so that you should regret your purpose or grow discontented with your enclosure, but so that you might truly feel this lowliness in your heart—for it is true, and no lie.6 Even if you feel this way, you must still yearn night and day, with all your strength, to come as near as you can to the state you have taken on, believing steadfastly that it is best for you, by God's mercy, to labor in it. And though you may not reach the fullness of it in this life, you may still be at the beginning of it; trust securely that you will have the fullness of it by God's mercy in the bliss of heaven.7 For truly, that is my life.8 I feel myself so wretched, and so frail, and so fleshly, and so far from the true feeling of what I speak of and have spoken of, that I can do nothing else but cry for mercy, and long for it as best I can, with hope that our Lord will bring me to it by His grace in the bliss of heaven.

The Practice of Self-Judgment

True humility involves turning one's gaze inward to judge one's own sins rather than the faults of others, thereby clearing the heart for the love of God.

Do so, and do it even better, according to the grace God gives you. This sense of lowliness will drive out of your heart the unwise watching of others' wrong living and the judging of other people's deeds, and it will drive you to look only at yourself, as if no one were alive but God and you; and you will judge yourself and hold yourself more vile and more wretched than any living creature, so that you can scarcely bear yourself for the greatness of the sin and filth you will find and feel in yourself.9 This is how you need to feel at times if you want to be truly humble; for I tell you truly, if you want to be truly humble, a venial sin will seem more grievous and more painful to you, and greater in your sight at times, than the great deadly sins of other people. The reason is this: whatever most drives your soul away from—or holds it back from—the feeling of love and the knowledge of God should be the most grievous and painful thing to you.10 But a venial sin of your own holds you back more from the feeling and the perfect love of Jesus Christ than other people's sins can, no matter how great those sins may be. So it seems you should rise up in your own heart against yourself, to hate and judge every kind of sin in yourself that keeps you from the sight of God, more diligently than you judge the faults of anyone else. If your heart is clean of your own sins, the sins of others truly won't harm you. Therefore, if you want to find rest here and in the bliss of heaven, follow the counsel of one of the holy fathers and say every day, "What am I?" And judge no one.

Read the original Latin

Now yif thou schuldest use wiseli thise goostli werkis and sikirli travaile in hem, thee bihoveth bigynne right lowe. Thre thinges thee nedith to have first, upon whiche as upon a siker ground thu schalt sitte al thi werk. These three aren mekenesse, siker feith, and hool entencion to God. First thee bihoveth to have mekenesse in this maner. Thou schalte holde thi silf in thi wille and in thi felynge, yif thou may, unable for to duelle amonge men or women, and unworthi to serve God in conversacion with his servauntis, unprofitable to thi even Cristene, wantynge bothe connynge and myght to fulfille gode werkes of actif lif in helpe of thyn even Cristene, as othere men and women doon; and therfore as a wrecche, outcaste and refuse of alle men and women, art spered in an hous aloone, that thou schuldest dere no man ne woman bi yvel ensaumple, sithen thou canst not profiten hem bi good wirkynge. Over this, thee bihoveth loke forthere that sithen thou art so unable to serve oure Lord bi bodili werkis outeward, hou mykil more thee bihoveth holde thee unable and unworthi to serve hym goosteli bi inward occupacion. For oure Lord is a spirit, as the prophete seith: Spiritus ante faciem nostram Christus dominus est (Lamentations 4:20). Bifore oure face a goost is oure Lord Jhesu Crist.

And the kyndeli service to Him is goostli, as He seith Himsilf: Veri adoratores adorabunt patrem in spiritu et veritate (John 4:23). Sothfast servauntes schullen worschipen the fadir in spirit and sothfastnesse. Thanne thou that art so boystous and so lewed, so fleischli, so blynd in goostli thinges, and nameli of thyn owyn soule, which thee bihoveth first to knowe yif thu schuldest come to the knowynge of God, hou schuldest thu thanne fele thisilf able or worthi to have that staat and the likenes of lif contemplatif, the which liyf, as y have seid, lith principali in goostli knowynge and lovynge of God? This y seie to thee, not for thou schuldest forthynke thi purpos and be myspaide with thyn enclosynge, but that thu schuldest fele this lowenesse soothfastli, yif thu myght, in thyn herte, for it is sooth and noo lees. And though thou fele thus, yit schalt thou yerne nyght and day up thi myght for to come as neer as thou myght to the staat that thou hast taken, trowand stedefastli that it is best to thee bi the merci of God for to travaile inne. And though it be so, that thu myght not come to the fulheed of it heere in this lif, that thu myghttest be here in the bigynnynge of hit; and truste sikirli for to have the fulheed of it bi the merci of God in the blisse of hevene. For soothli that is my liff. I feele me so wrecchid, and so freel, and so fleischli, and so fer fro the trewe feelynge fro that that I speke and have spoke, that y ne can not ellis but crie merci, and desire after as y may with hope that oure Lord wol brynge me therto of His grace in the blisse of hevene.

Do thou soo, and betir, after that God geveth thee grace. The felynge of this lowenesse schal putte oute of thyn herte unskilful bihooldynge of othere myslyvynge and demynge of othere mennys dedes, and it schal dryve thee oonli to biholde thisilf, as ther were no man lyvynge but God and thou; and thow schalte deeme and holde thisilf more vile and more wrecchid thanne is ony creature that berith liyf, that unnethes thou schal mowe suffre thisilf for mykilnesse of synne and filthe that thu schalt fynde and fele in thisilf. Thus bihoveth thee for to feele sum tyme, yif thou wolt be verili meke; for I telle thee soothli, yif thou wolt be truli meke, thee schal thenke a venial synne more grevous and more peyneful to thee, and gretter schal be in thi sight sumtyme, thanne grete deedli synnes of othere men. And that for this skile, that thynge whiche putteth thi soule or letteth it moost from the felynge of love and knowynge of God, bihoveth to be moost grevous and peynful to thee. But a venyal synne of thisilf letteth thee more fro the felynge and fro the perfight love of Jhesu Crist thanne othere mennys synnes mai do, be it never so mykil. Thanne semeth it that thou schuldest arise up in thyn owen herte agens thisilf, for to hate and deme in thisilf al maner of synne which letteth thee from the sight of God, more bisili thanne agens defautes of ony othir man. For yif thyn herte be clene of thyn owen synnes, sothli the synnes of alle othere men schullen not dere thee; and therfore yif thou wolt fynde reest here and in the blisse of hevene, up the counseil of oon of the hooli fadres seie every dai, "What am I?" and deme no man.

Scripture echoes

  1. ↩Lam.4.20 — The breath of our nostrils, the anointed of the LORD, was caught in their pits — the one of whom we said, 'In his shadow we shall live among the nations.'
  2. ↩Lam.4.20 — The breath of our nostrils, the anointed of the LORD, was caught in their pits — the one of whom we said, 'In his shadow we shall live among the nations.'
  3. ↩John.4.23 — But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth. For the Father seeks such as these to worship him.
  4. ↩John.4.23 — But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth. For the Father seeks such as these to worship him.

Notes

  1. 1 ↩hool entencion: undivided, integral intention directed wholly to God, not mere vague good will.
  2. 2 ↩conversacion here means shared manner of life / company among religious, not mere talk. even Cristene = fellow Christians. spered = shut/enclosed (enclosure context). dere = harm/hurt.
  3. 3 ↩goost here is Hilton's English for Latin spiritus in the preceding quote: spirit, not ghost in the modern spooky sense.
  4. 4 ↩kyndeli: natural/proper to His nature as spirit (continuing the prior claim that the Lord is a spirit), not merely "kind" in the modern sense.
  5. 5 ↩boystous and lewed: coarse/unrefined and unlearned (not modern "lewd" as sexually impure); both mark unreadiness for contemplative knowing.
  6. 6 ↩enclosynge: the anchoritic enclosure/vocation already taken; lowenesse is humility to be felt inwardly, not a counsel to abandon the enclosed life.
  7. 7 ↩Elliptical Middle English: the second that-clause is hortatory/optative after the concession—reach at least the beginning now; trust God for fullness in heaven.
  8. 8 ↩my liff: Hilton's personal condition/way—living from the beginning of contemplative life with hope of heavenly fullness (continued in s8).
  9. 9 ↩unskilful bihooldynge: rendered as 'unwise watching' — ME unskilful here means lacking spiritual skill/discretion, not mere incompetence.
  10. 10 ↩putteth ... or letteth: both hindrance senses retained — 'drives away from' and 'holds back from' — because the double verb carries real force.

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