The sixteenth Revelation etc. And it is conclusion and confirmation to all fifteen. And of hir frelty and morning in disese and lyte speking after the gret comfort of Jesus, seying she had ravid; which, being hir gret sekeness, I suppose was but venial synne. But yet the Devil after that had gret power to vexin hir ner to deth. Sixty-sixth chapter.
The Conclusion of All Showings and the Return of Weakness
After the closing of the sixteenth revelation, Julian returns to bodily illness and spiritual barrenness, moaning in loss of comfort.
And after this, the good Lord showed the sixteenth on the following night, as I'll say later; that sixteenth was the conclusion and confirmation of all fifteen. But first I must tell you about my feebleness, wretchedness, and blindness.1 I said at the beginning, "And in this all my pain was suddenly taken from me," of which pain I had no grief or distress as long as the fifteen showings lasted, one after another. And at the end all was closed, and I saw no more.2 And soon I felt that I would live and languish, and at once my sickness came again, first in my head with a sound and a din; and suddenly all my body was filled with sickness just as it had been before, and I was as barren and as dry as if I had never had any comfort but little.3 And as a wretch I moaned and grew heavy for the feeling of my bodily pains and for the failing of comfort, spiritual and bodily.4
Shameful Confession of Ravings
A religious visitor laughingly hears Julian call her experiences 'ravings,' but her mention of the bleeding cross leads to reverence, and she is overwhelmed with shame, even doubting her own faith.
Then a religious person came to me and asked how I was doing. I said I'd been raving today, and he laughed loud and heartily.5 And I said, "The cross that stood before my face—it seemed to me it bled hard." And at this word, the person I was speaking to grew all solemn and marveled, and at once I was deeply ashamed and stunned at my recklessness.6 And I thought, This man takes seriously the least word I might say—and he saw nothing more of it; and when I saw that he took it seriously and with such great reverence, I wept, deeply ashamed, and would have been shriven.7 But at that time I couldn't tell it to any priest. For I thought, How could a priest believe me? I don't believe our Lord God.8
Repentance and the Lord's Gentle Persistence
Julian laments her own blindness and ingratitude for forgetting the comfort of the showing, yet the courteous Lord does not abandon her as she trusts in His mercy and falls asleep.
This I believed truly for the time that I saw Him, and so then was my will and my intention settled forever, without end — but like a fool, I let it pass from my mind. Look at me, a wretch—this was a great sin, a great ingratitude, that I, out of the folly of feeling a little bodily pain, so unwisely lost for a time the comfort of all this blessed showing of our Lord God. Here you may see what I am of myself; but in this our courteous Lord would not leave me. And I lay still until night, trusting in His mercy, and then I began to sleep.
The Demonic Assault in Sleep
In a dream, a fiend appears as a red, lean face with black spots and rusty hair, grinning maliciously and trying to strangle Julian, but failing.
And in the sleep at the beginning, it seemed to me the fiend set himself in my throat, putting a face very near my face like a young man, and it was long and astonishingly lean. I've never seen anything like it. The color was red like a tile-stone when it's newly fired, with black spots in it like black speckles, fouler than the tile-stone itself.9 His hair was red as rust, clipped short in front, with side locks hanging down over the temples.10 He grinned at me with a malicious look, showing white teeth, and that made it seem even uglier to me.11 He had neither a properly formed body nor hands, but with his paws he held me by the throat and would have strangled me, but he could not.
Awakening and the Fiend's Continued Torment
Julian awakens by grace, barely alive; as she is comforted by attendants, a foul stench and heat appear, which only she perceives, revealing the fiend's continued temptation.
I was given this ugly showing while I was sleeping, and no other was. And all this time, I trusted that I would be saved and kept by God's mercy. And our courteous Lord gave me grace to wake, and I was barely alive.12 The people who were with me looked at me and wet my temples, and my heart began to feel comfort. And at once a little smoke came in the door with a great heat and a foul stench. I said, "Benedicite Domine, everything here is on fire"; and I thought it was a bodily fire that would have burned us all to death.13 I asked those who were with me if they felt any stench. They said no, they felt none.
Victory Through Faith and Holy Church
Julian blesses God, recognizing the fiend, and clings to the unity of her showing and the faith of Holy Church, finding immediate rest and peace.
I said, "Blessed be God"; for I knew well that it was the fiend who had come to torment me. And at once I clung to what our Lord had shown me that same day, with all the faith of Holy Church.14 For I saw that they are both one, and I fled to that as to my comfort.15 And at once everything vanished away, and I was brought to great rest and peace, without sickness of body or dread of conscience.
Read the original Middle English
And after this the good Lord shewid the sixteen on the night folowing, as I shall seyn after; which sixteen was conclusion and confirmation to all fifteen. But first me behovith to tellen you as anempt my febilnes, wretchidnes, and blindness. I have seid in the begynnyng, "And in this al my peine was sodenly taken from me," of which peyne I had no greife ne disese, as long as the fifteen shewings lestid folowand. And at the end al was close, and I saw no more. And sone I felt that I shuld liven and langiren, and anon my sekenes cam agen, first in my hede with a sound and a dynne; and sodenly all my body was fulfillid with sekeness like as it was aforn, and I was as baren and as drye as I never had comfort but litil. And as a wretch I moned and hevyed for felyng of my bodily peynes and for fayling of comfort, gostly and bodily.
Than cam a religious person to me and askid me how I ferid. I seyd I had ravid today, and he leuhe loud and inderly. And I seyd, "The cross that stod afor my face, methowte it blode fast." And with this word, the person that I spake to waxid al sad and mervelid, and anon I was sor ashamid and astonyed for my recleshede. And I thowte, this man takith sadly the lest word that I myte seyen, that sawe no mor therof; and whan I saw that he toke it sadly and with so gret reverens, I wepid, ful gretly ashamid, and wold have ben shrevyn. But at that tyme I cowde tell it no preist. For I thowte, how should a preist levyn me? I leve not our Lord God.
This I levid sothfastly for the tyme that I saw Him, and so was than my will and my menyng ever for done without end, but as a fole, I let it passyn fro my mynd. A, lo I, wretch, this was a gret synne, grete onkindness, that I, for foly of feling of a littil bodily peyne, so onwisely lost for the time the comfort of all this blissid shewing of our Lord God. Here may you sene what I am of myselfe, but herein wold our curtes Lord not leve me; and I lay still till night trosting in His mercy, and than I gan to slepyn.
And in the slepe at the begynnyng, methowte the fend set him in my throte puttand forth a visage ful nere my face like a yong man, and it was longe and wonder lene. I saw never none such. The color was rede like the tilestone whan it is new brent, with blak spots therin like blak steknes fouler than the tile stone. His here was rode as rust evisid aforn with syde lokks hongyng on the thounys. He grynnid on me with a shrewd semelant, shewing white teeth, and so mekil methowte it the more oggley. Body ne honds had he none shaply, but with his pawes he held me in the throte and wold have stranglid me, but he myte not.
This oggley shewing was made slepyng, and so was non other. And in all this time I trostid to be savid and kepid be the mercy of God. And our curtes Lord gave me grace to waken, and onethis had I my lif. The persons that wer with me beheld me and wet my temples, and my herte began to comforten. And anon a lyte smoke came in the dore with a grete hete and a foule stinke. I said, "Benedicite domine, it is al on fire that is here"; and I wened it had ben a bodily fire that shuld a brent us al to dede. I askid hem that wer with me if thei felt ony stynke. Thei seyd, nay, thei felt none.
I said, "Blissid be God"; for that wist I wele it was the fend that was comen to tempest me. And anon I toke to that our Lord had shewid me on the same day with al the feith of Holy Church. For I beheld it is bothen one, and fled therto as to my comforte. And anone al vanishid away, and I was browte to gret rest and peas withouten sekenes of body or drede of conscience.
Notes
- 1 ↩ME 'anempt' (anent) = concerning/as regards; rendered as plain 'about'.
- 2 ↩ME 'close' = shut/closed; the vision ended and was withdrawn.
- 3 ↩'liven and langiren' means she would not die yet, but go on living in prolonged weakness and suffering.
- 4 ↩ME 'hevyed' = grew heavy-hearted / sighed under sorrow; 'gostly' = spiritual.
- 5 ↩ME ravid: delirious or disordered speech; Julian later treats this light dismissal of the showing as her frailty.
- 6 ↩ME sad here means serious/solemn, not sorrowful; recleshede is recklessness in speaking lightly of the revelation.
- 7 ↩shrevyn: received sacramental confession/absolution; kept as shriven for sacramental specificity.
- 8 ↩Self-accusation in the moment: by calling the showing raving she treats herself as not believing what the Lord had shown; the next section contrasts her true belief while she saw Him.
- 9 ↩ME steknes is taken as speckles/flecks; some witnesses and editors prefer a stain/freckle sense. The comparison is to foul black markings on the red newly fired tile.
- 10 ↩Rendered as clipped/cut short in front; the exact cutting sense of evisid is slightly uncertain, but the hair is clearly rust-red, short before, with side locks at the temples.
- 11 ↩ME shrewd means wicked/malicious here, not modern 'clever'; semelant is countenance/appearance.
- 12 ↩ME onethis is read as onethe(s), 'scarcely/barely', fitting the near-strangling. A less likely reading is 'at once'.
- 13 ↩Benedicite Domine is kept as Julian's Latin blessing-exclamation ('Bless [you], Lord'), used here in alarm.
- 14 ↩enm 'toke to' rendered as 'clung to' (held fast / set herself upon); the sense is immediate adherence to the day's showing together with the Church's faith.
- 15 ↩'bothen one' refers to the Lord's showing and the faith of Holy Church being one and the same; 'therto' points to that united truth as her refuge.
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