Caput 6. Peccatoris miseria. Sine Verbo nihil est, nihil conservatur.
无主的虚无
诗人描述与上帝分离时的彻底虚无、感官麻木与灵性死亡，并以哀求怜悯作结。
So when I was without you, I didn't exist—because I was nothing. And so I was blind, deaf, and without feeling, because I neither recognized the good, nor fled from evil, nor felt the pain of my wounds, nor saw my darkness—since I was without you, the true Light who enlightens every person coming into this world (John 1:9).✦1 Woe to me! They wounded me, and I felt no pain; they dragged me away, and I sensed nothing—because I was nothing, since I was without life, which is the Word through whom all things were made. Therefore, Lord my light, my enemies did with me whatever they wanted: they struck me, stripped me, defiled me, corrupted me, wounded me, and killed me—because I withdrew from you, and without you I became nothing. Oh, Lord—my life, who made me, my light, who guided me. Defender of my life, have mercy on me and raise me up again.
罪的奴役与盲目
诗人祈求主击退仇敌，详述仇敌如何剥夺美德、玷污圣殿、用罪捆绑自己，并承认自己甘受奴役、颠倒善恶。
Lord my God, my hope, my strength, my fortitude, my consolation in the day of my trouble, look on my enemies and rescue me: let those who hate you flee from your face, and I will live in you through you. For they, Lord, looked me over, and seeing me without you, they despised me. They divided among themselves the garments of the virtues with which you had adorned me (Ps.2 21:18-19), they made a road for themselves through me; they trampled me under their feet. With the filth of sins they polluted your holy temple; they left me desolate and worn down with grief.3 I went after them blind and naked, and snared by the cords of sins. They dragged me after them in circles, from vice to vice and from mud to mud; and I went without strength before the face of the one coming after me.4 I was a slave, and I loved my slavery. I was blind, and I longed for blindness. I was bound, and I didn't shrink from the chains. I believed bitter was sweet, and sweet was bitter.
靠道得复苏
诗人转向基督之道，阐明万物藉道被造、藉道保存，并表达悔改后蒙主访问、扶起、教导、光照的感恩。
I was wretched; I didn't know it—and that was because I was without you, the Word, without whom nothing was made, through whom all things are preserved, without whom all things are brought to nothing. For just as all things were made through him, and without him nothing was made, so through him whatever exists is preserved—whether in heaven, or on earth, or in the sea, and in all the depths. Nor does one part cling to another in a stone, nor in any created thing, except because they are preserved through the Word, through whom all things were made.5 So let me cling to you, Word, that you may keep me; for when I withdrew from you, I perished in myself—except that you who had made me remade me.6 I sinned, and you visited me; I fell, and you raised me up; I was ignorant, and you taught me; I did not see, and you enlightened me.
Read the original Latin
Cum igitur fui sine te, non fui; quia nihil fui. Et ideo caecus eram, surdus et insensibilis; quia nec bonum discernebam, nec malum fugiebam, nec dolorem vulnerum meorum sentiebam, nec tenebras meas videbam; quia eram sine te vera luce, quae illuminas omnem hominem venientem in hunc mundum (Joan. I, 9). Vae mihi! vulneraverunt me, et non dolui; traxerunt me, et non sensi: quia nihil eram, quia sine vita eram, quae est Verbum per quod facta sunt omnia. Ideo, Domine lux mea, inimici mei de me fecerunt quaecumque voluerunt, percusserunt, nudaverunt, polluerunt, corruperunt, vulneraverunt et occiderunt me: quia recessi a te, et factus sum nihil sine te. Heu, Domine, vita mea qui fecisti me, lux mea qui direxisti me. Defensor vitae meae, miserere mei et resuscita me.
Domine Deus meus, spes mea, virtus mea, fortitudo mea, consolatio mea in die tribulationis meae, respice inimicos meos, et eripe me: fugiant a facie tua qui oderunt te, et ego vivam in te per te. Ipsi enim, Domine, consideraverunt me, et videntes me sine te, despexerunt me. Diviserunt sibi vestimenta virtutum quibus ornaveras me (Psal. XXI, 18, 19), fecerunt sibi viam per me, sub pedibus suis conculcaverunt me: faecibus peccatorum polluerunt templum sanctum tuum, posuerunt me desolatum et moerore confectum. Ibam post eos caecus et nudus, et illaqueatus funibus peccatorum. Trahebant me post se in circuitu de vitio in vitium, et de luto in lutum: et ibam absque fortitudine ante faciem subsequentis. Servus eram, servitutem amabam. Caecus eram, caecitatem desiderabam.
Vinctus eram, vincula non horrebam. Amarum dulce, et dulce amarum credebam. Miser eram, non cognoscebam; et hoc quia sine te Verbo eram, sine quo factum est nihil, per quod omnia conservantur, sine quo omnia annihilantur. Sicut enim omnia per ipsum facta sunt, et sine ipso factum est nihil; sic per ipsum omnia conservantur quaecumque sunt, sive in coelo, sive in terra, sive in mari, et in omnibus abyssis. Nec pars parti in lapide adhaeret, nec in aliquo creatorum: nisi quia per Verbum conservantur, per quod omnia facta sunt. Adhaeream ergo tibi, Verbum, ut conserves me; quia ubi a te recessi, perii in me: nisi quia tu qui feceras, refecisti me. Ego peccavi, tu me visitasti; ego cecidi, tu me erexisti; ego ignoravi, tu me docuisti; ego non vidi, tu me illuminasti.
Scripture echoes
- ↩John.1.9 — The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world.
Notes
- 1 ↩Print/sentence split continues the John citation begun in s2; rendered as the remaining reference only.
- 2 ↩Sentence breaks mid-citation; the explicit Psalm reference continues in the next sentence.
- 3 ↩'templum sanctum tuum' is rendered as God's holy temple; in context it likely means the soul as God's dwelling, polluted by sin.
- 4 ↩'ante faciem subsequentis' is ambiguous: rendered as before the pursuer coming after; it could also mean helplessly facing whatever followed next.
- 5 ↩Ellipsis after nec: the sense is that even the cohesion of parts within a stone or any creature holds only because the Word preserves them.
- 6 ↩feceras / refecisti: deliberate wordplay—remade/restored by the One who had first made.
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