Caput 4. Luminis Dei necessitas et imploratio.
The Cry from Nothingness
The soul confesses that without God's light it sinks toward nothingness and sin, acknowledging that this ruin is a just consequence of turning away from the Word through whom all things were made.
See, Lord: because there is no light, there is death—or rather, it is not death, because death is nothing; for through it we sink toward nothingness, while through sin we don't fear to make ourselves nothing.1 And this is just indeed, Lord; for we receive what our deeds deserve as we run down to nothing like water draining away: because without you nothing was made, and we, by doing nothing, have become nothing—because we are without you, through whom all things were made and without whom nothing was made. O Lord, the Word; O God, the Word, through whom all things were made, without whom nothing was made (John 1:3)—woe to me, a wretched man so often blinded, because you are light, and I am without you; so often wounded, because you are salvation, and I am without you; so often made a fool, because you are the truth, and I am without you; so often gone astray, because you are the way, and I am without you; so often dead, because you are life, and I am without you; so often brought to nothing, because you are the Word through whom all things were made, and I am without you, without whom nothing was made.
The Plea for Light
Addressing Christ as the light, way, truth, and life, the soul begs Him to speak 'Let there be light' and to enlighten a blind soul sitting in darkness, guiding it into the way of peace and the house of God.
O Lord, the Word; O God, the Word, who are the light through which light was made; who are the way, the truth, and the life (ibid. 14:6); in whom there is no darkness, error, vanity, or death—light without which there is darkness, a way without which there is wandering, truth without which there is vanity, life without which there is death. Speak the word; speak, Lord: "Let there be light," so that I may see the light and shun the darkness; see the way and shun the pathless waste; see the truth and shun vanity; see life and shun death.2 Enlighten me, Lord—my light, my illumination, and my salvation; whom shall I fear?—my Lord, whom I will praise; my God, whom I will honor; my Father, whom I will love; my Bridegroom, for whom I will keep myself. Enlighten me, I say—enlighten me, O Light—this blind one of yours who sits in darkness and in the shadow of death, and guide his feet into the way of peace, by which I may enter the place of the wondrous tabernacle, even to the house of God, with a voice of exultation and confession.3
Confession as the Path to the Way
The soul concludes that confession itself is the way out of the wasteland and into Christ, who is the true way of life.
Truly, confession is the way by which I may come in to you, the way by which I may go out from the pathless place and return to you, the Way, because you are the true way of life.45
Read the original Latin
Ecce, Domine, quia non est lux, est mors: imo non est mors, quia nihil est mors; nam per ipsam ad nihilum tendimus, dum nos nihil facere per peccatum non formidamus. Et juste quidem hoc, Domine; nam digna factis recipimus, dum ad nihilum devenimus sicut aqua decurrens: quia sine te factum est nihil, et nos faciendo nihil, facti sumus nihil: quia sine te sumus, per quem facta sunt omnia et sine quo factum est nihil. O Domine Verbum, o Deus Verbum, per quod facta sunt omnia, sine quo factum est nihil (Joan. I, 3); vae mihi misero toties obcaecato, quia tu lux, et ego sine te; toties vulnerato, quia tu salus, et ego sine te; toties infatuato, quia tu es veritas, et ego sine te; toties oberrato, quia tu via, et ego sine te; toties mortuo, quia tu vita, et ego sine te; toties annihilato, quia tu Verbum per quod facta sunt omnia, et ego sine te, sine quo factum est nihil. O Domine Verbum, o Deus Verbum, qui es lux per quam facta est lux; qui es via, veritas et vita (Id. XIV, 6); in quo non sunt tenebrae, error, vanitas, neque mors; lux sine qua tenebrae, via sine qua error, veritas sine qua vanitas, vita sine qua mors; dic verbum, dic, Domine, Fiat lux, ut videam lucem, et vitem tenebras; videam viam, et vitem invium; videam veritatem, et vitem vanitatem; videam vitam, et vitem mortem. Illuminare, Domine lux mea, illuminatio mea, et salus mea, quem timebo, Dominus meus quem laudabo, Deus meus quem honorificabo, pater meus quem amabo, sponsus meus cui me servabo. Illuminare, inquam, illuminare, lux, huic caeco tuo qui in tenebris et in umbra mortis sedet, et dirige pedes ejus in viam pacis, per quam ingrediar in locum tabernaculi admirabilis usque ad domum Dei in voce exsultationis et confessionis.
Vere confessio est via per quam ingrediar ad te, via per quam egrediar ab invio, et redeam ad te viam, quia tu es vera via vitae.
Notes
- 1 ↩Dense wordplay on mors/nihil/nihil facere: death is identified with nothingness, and sin with the act of making oneself nothing.
- 2 ↩Rendered Latin vitem as subjunctive of vitare (shun/avoid), parallel to videam in each pair.
- 3 ↩Confessio kept as "confession" to preserve the hinge into the next section (confessio as the way), while the psalm sense also includes praise/thanksgiving.
- 4 ↩confessio continues the preceding 'voce exsultationis et confessionis' and anticipates the next chapter's confitear; rendered as confession of the soul before God (acknowledgment that opens the way), not mere verbal admission.
- 5 ↩ad te viam taken as apposition: return to you, the Way (matching quia tu es vera via vitae). invio = the pathless/trackless place, parallel to invium in 1.4.1.s6.
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