SR
← Pseudo-Augustine Soliloquia animae ad Deum (Meditations of the Soul to God)/Book 1 · Soliloquia animae ad Deum
Chapter 35PsAugSoliloquia.1.35

Caput 35. Dei ardens desiderium. Beatorum quanta felicitas. Miseria exsilii nostri, et aspiratio ad patriam.

Thirsting for the Living God

The soul cries out with a deer's thirst for God, longing to appear before His face and enter the eternal day of joy.

As a deer longs for streams of water, so my soul longs for you, God. My soul has thirsted for God, the living fountain (Ps.1 LXII, 2)—when will I come and appear before the face of my God? O fountain of life, spring of living waters, when will I come to the waters of your sweetness from a desert land, pathless and dry, so that I may see your power and your glory, and quench my thirst from the waters of your mercy? I thirst, Lord; fountain of life, satisfy me. I thirst, Lord—I thirst for the living God. O when will I come and appear, Lord, before your face! Do you think I will see that day—the day, I say, of delight and joy; the day the Lord has made, so that we may rejoice and be glad in it? O radiant day, knowing no evening, having no sunset, in which I will hear the voice of praise, the voice of rejoicing and thanksgiving: Enter into the joy of your Lord (Matt.2

The Joy of the Heavenly Kingdom

The soul contemplates the ineffable joy of the blessed vision, then laments its prolonged exile and the taunts of those who ask, 'Where is your God?'

Enter into everlasting joy, into the house of the Lord your God (25:21)—where there are great and unfathomable and wonderful things beyond number; enter into joy without sorrow, which holds eternal gladness, where every good thing will be, and there will be no evil at all; where there will be whatever you desire, and nothing you do not desire; where there will be life that is truly alive, sweet and lovely, and forever remembered; where there will be no enemy attacking, nor any temptation, but the highest and most certain security, and secure tranquility, and tranquil delight, and delightful happiness, and happy eternity, and eternal blessedness, and the blessed Trinity, and the unity of the Trinity, and the Godhead of that unity, and the blessed vision of the Godhead, which is the joy of my Lord!3 O joy above joy, surpassing every joy, outside of which there is no joy—when will I enter into you, so that I may see my Lord who dwells in you? I will go and see this great vision. What is it that holds me back? Woe is me! because my sojourn has been prolonged (Psalm4 119:5): woe is me!5 How long will it be said to me, 'Where is your God' (Psalm6

Waiting in Hope for the Savior

The soul asks how long it must wait, declares its hope is in the Lord, and awaits the Savior who will transform our lowly bodies and bring us to the wedding feast.

41:11)? How long will I be told, "Wait — wait again"?✦ And now, what is my hope?7 Is it not You, Lord (Ps. 38:8)? We wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform the body of our humility into the likeness of his glorious body (Phil.8 3:21). We wait for the Lord when he returns from the wedding feast, so that he may bring us into his own wedding feast.

Come, Lord, and Lead Us to Harbor

The soul urgently calls for the Lord to come, to lead the captive from prison, and to guide the one tossed on the waves of mortality to the harbor of eternal happiness.

Come, Lord, and do not delay.✦ Come, Lord Jesus, come visit us in peace; come and lead this captive out of prison, so that we may rejoice before you with a perfect heart.✦ Come, our Savior, come, Desire of all the nations; show your face, and we will be saved.✦✦ Come, my light, my Redeemer, lead my soul out of prison to praise your holy name (Ps.✦9 141:8).✦ How long will I, wretched as I am, be tossed on the waves of my mortality, crying out to you, Lord, and you do not hear? Hear the one who cries out, Lord, from this great sea, and lead me to the harbor of eternal happiness.✦

The Blessedness of the Saints in Glory

The soul reflects on the happiness of those who have reached the heavenly homeland, describing the eternal kingdom where the saints reign with Christ in unfading glory and see God face to face.

Happy are those who, drawn out of the danger of this sea, have been found worthy to reach you, God, the safest harbor! O truly happy ones, who have come from the open sea to the shore, from exile to their homeland, from prison to the palace, already blessed with the rest they longed for; because that prize of everlasting glory, which they sought here through many tribulations, they have now gained with glad delight, and they rejoice forever!10 O truly blessed, O thrice and four times blessed, who, already stripped of every evil and now secure in their unfading glory, have been found worthy to reach the kingdom of beauty!11 O eternal kingdom, kingdom of all ages, where light never fails, and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding (Phil. 4:7), in which the souls of the saints rest, and everlasting joy is upon their heads: they will obtain joy and exultation, and sorrow and sighing will flee away! O how glorious is the kingdom in which all the saints reign with you, Lord, clothed with light as with a garment, wearing on their heads a crown of precious stone (Ps. 20:4)! O kingdom of everlasting blessedness, where you, Lord, the hope of the saints and the diadem of glory, are seen face to face by the saints, filling them with joy on every side in your peace that surpasses all understanding!

The Perfection of Heavenly Joy

The soul describes the infinite joy of heaven where every good is present and no evil exists, and declares the happiness of those who have reached such joys from the shipwreck of this life.

There is infinite joy there, gladness without sadness, well-being without pain, life without toil, light without darkness, life without death, every good without any evil. There youth never grows old; there life knows no end—where beauty never fades, where love never grows cold, where health never withers, where joy never lessens, where pain is never felt, where sighing is never heard, where nothing sad is seen, where gladness is always kept, where no evil is feared; because there the highest good is possessed, which is always to see the face of the Lord of hosts. Happy, then, are those who have already been found worthy to come from this shipwrecked present life to joys so great.

A Prayer for Safe Passage Through the Storm

The soul laments its exile and danger on the sea of life, cries out to Christ as the star of the sea to steer the ship by the cross, and prays for a safe course to the heavenly harbor.

Alas, how unhappy and wretched we are, who drag our ship through the waves and stormy whirlpools of this great sea, not knowing whether we can reach the harbor of salvation. Unhappy, I say—we whose life is in exile, whose path is in danger, whose end is in doubt; not knowing our end, because everything still to come is kept uncertain, and we are still tossed in the waves of the deep, longing for the harbor. O our homeland, safe homeland, we see you from afar. From this sea we greet you; from this valley we sigh toward you; and we strain with tears, if somehow we may reach you. Christ, hope of the human race, God from God, our refuge and strength, whose light from afar, through dark mists over the storms of the sea, shines into our eyes like the ray of a star of the sea so that we may be guided to the harbor: steer our ship, Lord, with your right hand, by the rudder of your cross, so that we do not perish in the waves, so that the storm of water does not sink us, and so that the deep does not swallow us; but by the power of your cross draw us from this open sea to you, our only comfort, whom from afar—barely with tearful eyes—we see as the morning star and the sun of righteousness, waiting for us on the shore of the heavenly homeland.12 See, we cry out to you—your redeemed ones, and yet now still your exiles, whom you redeemed with precious blood. Hear us, God our Savior, hope of all the ends of the earth and of those far off on the sea (Ps. 64:6). We are tossed on a stormy sea; you, standing on the shore, look on our dangers—make us safe for the sake of your name. Grant us, Lord, to steer a true middle course between Scylla and Charybdis, so that with ship and cargo safe we may reach the harbor secure.13

Read the original Latin

Quemadmodum desiderat cervus ad fontes aquarum, ita desiderat anima mea ad te, Deus. Sitivit anima mea ad Deum fontem vivum (Psal. LXII, 2), quando veniam et apparebo ante faciem Dei mei? O fons vitae, vena aquarum viventium, quando veniam ad aquas dulcedinis tuae de terra deserta, invia et inaquosa, ut videam virtutem tuam et gloriam tuam, et satiem ex aquis misericordiae tuae sitim meam? Sitio, Domine; fons vitae, satia me: sitio, Domine, sitio Deum vivum. O quando veniam et apparebo, Domine, ante faciem tuam! Putasne videbo diem illam, diem, inquam, jucunditatis et laetitiae; diem quam fecit Dominus, ut exsultemus et laetemur in ea? O dies praeclara, nesciens vesperum, non habens occasum, in qua audiam vocem laudis, vocem exsultationis et confessionis, Intra in gaudium Domini tui (Matth.

XXV, 21), intra in gaudium sempiternum, in domum Domini Dei tui, ubi sunt magna et inscrutabilia et mirabilia, quorum non est numerus; intra in gaudium sine tristitia, quod continet aeternam laetitiam, ubi erit omne bonum, et non erit aliquod malum; ubi erit quidquid voles, et non erit quidquid noles; ubi erit vita vitalis, dulcis et amabilis, semperque memorialis; ubi non erit hostis impugnans, nec ulla illecebra, sed summa et certa securitas, et secura tranquillitas, et tranquilla jucunditas, et jucunda felicitas, et felix aeternitas, et aeterna beatitudo, et beata Trinitas, et Trinitatis unitas, et unitatis deitas, et deitatis beata visio, quae est gaudium Domini mei! O gaudium super gaudium, vincens omne gaudium, extra quod non est gaudium, quando intrabo in te, ut videam Dominum meum qui habitat in te? Ibo et videbo visionem hanc grandem. Quid est quod me detinet? Heu me! quia incolatus meus prolongatus est (Psal. CXIX, 5): heu me! quamdiu dicetur mihi, Ubi est Deus tuus (Psal.

XLI, 11)? quamdiu dicetur mihi, Exspecta, reexspecta? Et nunc quae est exspectatio mea? Nonne tu, Domine (Psal. XXXVIII, 8)? Salvatorem exspectamus Dominum Jesum Christum, qui reformabit corpus humilitatis nostrae configuratum corpori claritatis suae (Philipp. III, 21). Exspectamus Dominum quando revertatur a nuptiis, ut inducat nos ad suas nuptias.

Veni, Domine, et noli tardare. Veni, Domine Jesu, veni visitare nos in pace, veni et educ vinctum hunc de carcere, ut laetemur coram te corde perfecto. Veni, Salvator noster, veni, desideratus cunctis gentibus, ostende faciem tuam, et salvi erimus. Veni, lux mea, Redemptor meus, educ de carcere animam meam ad confitendum nomini sancto tuo (Psal. CXLI, 8). Quamdiu miser jactabor in fluctibus mortalitatis meae, clamans ad te, Domine, et non exaudis? Audi clamantem, Domine, de hoc mari magno, et educ me ad portum felicitatis aeternae.

Felices qui de periculo maris hujus educti ad te Deum portum tutissimum pervenire meruerunt! O vere felices, qui de pelago ad littus, de exsilio ad patriam, de carcere ad palatium pervenerunt, optata jam quiete beati; quia bravium illud perpetuae gloriae, quod hic per multas tribulationes quaesierunt, jam felici jucunditate adepti, laetantur in perpetuum! O vere beati, o terque quaterque beati, qui jam omnium malorum exuti, securi jam de sua immarcescibili gloria ad regnum decoris pervenire meruerunt! O regnum aeternum, regnum omnium saeculorum, ubi lumen indeficiens, et pax Dei quae exsuperat omnem sensum (Philipp. IV, 7), in qua sanctorum animae requiescunt, et laetitia sempiterna super capita eorum: gaudium et exsultationem obtinebunt, et fugiet dolor et gemitus! O quam gloriosum est regnum in quo tecum, Domine, regnant omnes sancti, amicti lumine sicut vestimento, habentes in capite suo coronam de lapide pretioso (Psal. XX, 4)! O regnum beatitudinis sempiternae, ubi tu, Domine, spes sanctorum et diadema gloriae, facie ad faciem videris a sanctis, laetificans eos undique in pace tua quae exsuperat omnem sensum!

Ibi gaudium infinitum, laetitia sine tristitia, salus sine dolore, vita sine labore, lux sine tenebris, vita sine morte, omne bonum sine omni malo. Ibi juventus nunquam senescit, ibi vita terminum nescit, ubi decor nunquam pallescit, ubi amor nunquam tepescit, ubi sanitas nunquam marcescit, ubi gaudium nunquam decrescit, ubi dolor nunquam sentitur, ubi gemitus nunquam auditur, ubi triste nihil videtur, ubi laetitia semper habetur, ubi malum nullum timetur; quoniam ibi summum bonum possidetur, quod est semper videre faciem Domini virtutum. Felices igitur qui de naufraga vita praesenti ad tanta gaudia jam pervenire meruerunt.

Infelices heu nos et miseri, qui per hujus maris magni fluctus procellosasque voragines navem trahimus, ignorantes an ad portum salutis pervenire valeamus. Infelices, inquam, quorum est vita in exsilio, via in periculo, finis in dubio; nescientes finem nostrum, quia omnia in futurum reservantur incerta, et adhuc in pelagi fluctibus versamur, suspirantes ad portum. O patria nostra, patria secura, a longe te videmus. Ab hoc mari te salutamus, ab hac valle ad te suspiramus; et nitimur cum lacrymis si quo modo ad te perveniamus. Spes humani generis Christe, Deus de Deo, refugium nostrum et virtus, cujus lumen a longe inter caliginosas nebulas super maris procellas, quasi stellae maris radius oculos nostros irradiat, ut dirigamur ad portum, guberna, Domine, navem nostram tua dextera, clavo crucis tuae, ne pereamus in fluctibus, ne nos demergat tempestas aquae, neque absorbeat nos profundum; sed virtute crucis tuae trahe nos ab hoc pelago ad te, solamen unicum nostrum, quem a longe quasi stellam matutinam et solem justitiae vix lacrymantibus oculis in littore coelestis patriae nos exspectantem videmus. En ad te clamamus redempti tui, sed et nunc exsules tui, quos pretioso sanguine redemisti. Exaudi nos Deus salutaris noster, spes omnium finium terrae, et in mari longe (Psal. LXIV, 6): in mari turbulento versamur; tu in littore stans aspicis pericula nostra, salvos nos fac propter nomen tuum.

Da nobis, Domine, inter Scyllam et Charibdim ita tenere medium, ut salva navi et mercibus securi perveniamus ad portum.

Scripture echoes

  1. ↩Isa.28.10 — For it is command upon command, command upon command, line upon line, line upon line, a little here, a little there.
  2. ↩Hab.2.3 — For there is still a vision for the appointed time; it hastens toward the end and will not prove false. Though it tarries, wait for it — it will surely come; it will not delay.
  3. ↩Ps.142.8 — Bring my soul out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name; the righteous will crown themselves around me, for you will deal bountifully with me.
  4. ↩Hag.2.8 — The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, declares the LORD of hosts.
  5. ↩Ps.80.4 — God, restore us; make your face shine, and we shall be saved.
  6. ↩Ps.142.8 — Bring my soul out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name; the righteous will crown themselves around me, for you will deal bountifully with me.
  7. ↩Ps.142.8 — Bring my soul out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name; the righteous will crown themselves around me, for you will deal bountifully with me.
  8. ↩Ps.104.25 — This is the great and wide sea—there are creatures without number, living things both small and great.

Notes

  1. 1 ↩Source reads fontem vivum (living fountain), not the common Vulgate fortem vivum (living/strong God) of Ps 41:3; rendered as given.
  2. 2 ↩confessionis rendered as thanksgiving/praise in the psalm-voice sense, not as confession of sin.
  3. 3 ↩Sentence opens mid-citation continued from the previous section's Matthew quotation (Intra in gaudium Domini tui).
  4. 4 ↩Citation opens here and closes in the next sentence (CXIX, 5).
  5. 5 ↩Closes the Psalm citation begun in s6, then repeats the cry 'heu me'.
  6. 6 ↩Psalm citation left open here; the next section begins with 'XLI, 11)?'.
  7. 7 ↩exspectatio can mean expectation or hope; rendered hope to match the psalm's longing for the Lord as the object of waiting.
  8. 8 ↩corpus humilitatis nostrae kept as 'body of our humility' rather than flattened to 'lowly body,' to preserve the humility contrast with claritas.
  9. 9 ↩In the psalm petition, confiteri means to acknowledge/praise God, not sacramental confession.
  10. 10 ↩bravium (brabeum): athletic/prize crown; rendered as "prize".
  11. 11 ↩terque quaterque: classical intensive ("thrice and four times"); kept as that idiom rather than flattened to "utterly."
  12. 12 ↩clavo crucis tuae: in this steering metaphor clavus is the tiller/rudder, not the nail of the crucifixion; rendered "rudder of your cross."
  13. 13 ↩Source spells Charibdim (medieval form of Charybdis); rendered with the standard English name. mercibus taken as the ship's cargo/goods, continuing the voyage metaphor.

Pseudo-Augustine Soliloquia animae ad Deum (Meditations of the Soul to God) companion

A prayer for every moment, already on your phone

Chosen Portion puts a curated historic prayer in front of you each day — so the words are there before the moment arrives.

Chosen Portion is the digital descendant of the carried prayer book: the short daily prayers this collection preserves, delivered one a day to your pocket.

  • One short, memorable prayer delivered daily — build your repertoire a card at a time
  • Prayers matched to real situations: fear, gratitude, decisions, grief, sleep
  • Save favourites into your personal pocket collection you can open anywhere
Chosen Portion — Daily Prayer (free iOS app) →