Caput 15. Quod homo per se nihil possit. Quod non habeat unde glorietur. Qui gratiae divitias promereatur. Quid homo per se. Gratiae est quod in peccata non labamur.
Knowing Our Poverty
The soul confesses its blindness and poverty, realizing that all self-sufficiency is an illusion and that only God reveals true self-knowledge.
Most mighty, all-powerful God of the spirits of all flesh, whose eyes are on every way the children of Adam take, from the day of their birth to the day of their departure, that you may repay each one according to his works, good or evil: show me my poverty, that I may confess it to you—for I said I was rich and needed nothing, and I did not know that I was poor, blind, naked, wretched, and pitiable (Rev. 3:17). I believed I amounted to something, when I was nothing. I said, "I will become wise"; and I became a fool. I thought I was self-controlled; but I was deceived.1 And I see now that it is your gift, without which we can do nothing; for unless you, Lord, keep the city, the one who guards it watches in vain (Ps. 126:1). This is how you taught me to know myself: for you left me and tested me—not for your sake, that you might know me, but for my sake, that I might know myself.
All Glory Belongs to God
Reflecting on the experience of falling and rising, the soul concludes that all good and all glory belong to God alone, and that human boasting is empty.
For as I said, Lord, I believed I would amount to something on my own; I thought I was enough by myself, and I didn't realize that you were governing me, until you pulled back a little from me, and I immediately fell into myself: and I saw and knew that you were governing me; and that my falling came from me, and my rising came from you. You opened my eyes, O Light, and you woke me and enlightened me: and I saw that a human being's life on earth is a trial, and that no flesh can boast before you, nor can anyone living be justified—for if there is any good, small or great, it is your gift, and ours is nothing but evil.2 So then, from what will all flesh boast? From evil? That is not glory, but misery. But will it boast of the good? Of what belongs to another?3 Yours, Lord, is the good; yours is the glory.
The Danger of Self-Glory
The soul warns against seeking glory for oneself from God's gifts, and prays for mercy, knowing that only the humble poor who confess their need are enriched by God.
For whoever seeks glory for himself from your good, and does not seek it for you — this one is a thief and a robber, and is like the devil, who wanted to steal your glory. Whoever wants to be praised for your gift, and does not seek your glory in it but his own: even if this person is praised by people because of your gift, he is still blamed by you; because from your gift he sought not your glory, but his own. But whoever is praised by people while you blame him will not be defended by people when you judge him, nor set free when you condemn him. But you, Lord, my Maker from my mother's womb, do not let me fall into that reproach — that it should be charged against me that I wanted to steal your glory. To you be the glory, whose is every good; but to us shame of face and misery, whose is every evil — unless you choose to have mercy.4 Indeed you have mercy, Lord — you have mercy on all you have made, and you hate nothing of what you have made, and you give us from your goods, and you enrich us who are poor with your best gifts: because you love the poor, and you make them rich with your riches. See now, Lord: we your children are poor, and we are your little flock. Open your doors to us, and the poor will eat and be filled, and those who seek you will praise you. I know this too, Lord, and I confess it as you teach me: that only those who know themselves to be poor, and confess their poverty to you, will be enriched by you — because those who think themselves rich when they are poor will be found shut out from your riches.
Grace Alone Sustains Us
The soul confesses its utter nothingness and dependence on God, and concludes that every good and every preservation from sin is a gift of grace alone.
And so I confess to you, Lord my God, my poverty; and may all glory be yours, because every good thing is yours. For by myself, Lord, I confess—as you taught me—that I am nothing but utter vanity and a shadow of death, a dark abyss, and empty, void earth, which without your blessing sprouts nothing and bears no fruit except shame, sin, and death.✦5 If I ever had any good, I received it from you; whatever good I have, I have as yours. Whenever I stood firm, I stood through you; but when I fell, I fell through myself. I would always have lain in the mire if you had not raised me up; I would always have been blind if you had not enlightened me. When I fell, I never would have risen if you hadn't stretched out your hand to me. After you raised me up, I would always have fallen again if you hadn't held me; I would have perished more often if you hadn't guided me. It's always been like this, Lord—always your grace and mercy have gone before me, freeing me from every evil, saving me from past ones, lifting me from present ones, and fortifying me against future ones, even cutting off the snares of sins ahead of me and taking away their occasions and causes; because if you hadn't done this for me, I would have committed every sin in the world: for I know, Lord, that there is no sin any human being has ever committed that another human being could not commit, if the Creator by whom that person was made were absent. That I didn't do wrong—you made that happen; that I would abstain—you commanded it; and that I would believe in you—you poured grace into me.6 For you, Lord, were guiding me for yourself, keeping me for yourself and for me, so that I would not commit adultery or any other sin.
Read the original Latin
Fortissime, magnipotens, Deus spirituum universae carnis, cujus oculi super omnes vias filiorum Adam, a die nativitatis eorum usque ad diem exitus eorum, ut reddas unicuique secundum opera sua bona vel mala; ostende mihi, ut confitear tibi, paupertatem meam: quoniam dixi quod dives essem, et nullius egerem; et nesciebam quia pauper eram, caecus, nudus, miser et miserabilis (Apoc. III, 17). Credebam me fore aliquid, cum nihil essem. Dixi, Sapiens efficiar; et stultus factus sum. Cogitabam esse continens; sed deceptus sum. Et video nunc quia donum tuum est, sine quo nihil possumus facere; quia nisi tu, Domine, custodieris civitatem, frustra vigilat qui custodit eam (Psal. CXXVI, 1). Sic docuisti me, ut cognoscerem me: quia dereliquisti me, et probasti me; non propter te ut cognosceres me, sed propter me ut cognoscerem me.
Nam, ut dixi, Domine, credebam me aliquid fore ex me, existimabam me sufficere per me, nec percipiebam quoniam tu regebas me, donec aliquantulum te elongasti a me, et cecidi statim in me: et vidi et cognovi quoniam tu regebas me; et quod cecidi, fuit ex me, et quod surrexi, fuit ex te. Aperuisti mihi oculos, lux, et excitasti et illuminasti me: et vidi quoniam tentatio est hominis vita super terram, et quod gloriari non valeat ante te omnis caro, nec justificetur omnis vivens: quoniam si quid boni est parvum vel magnum, donum tuum est, et nostrum non est nisi malum. Unde igitur gloriabitur omnis caro? Numquid de malo? Haec non est gloria, sed miseria. Sed numquid gloriabitur de bono? numquid de alieno? Tuum, Domine, est bonum, tua est gloria.
Qui enim de bono tuo gloriam sibi quaerit, et non tibi quaerit; hic fur est et latro, et similis est diabolo, qui voluit furari gloriam tuam. Qui laudari vult de tuo dono, et non quaerit in illo gloriam tuam, sed suam: hic licet propter tuum donum laudetur ab hominibus, a te tamen vituperatur; quia de dono tuo non tuam, sed suam gloriam quaesivit. Qui autem ab hominibus laudatur vituperante te, non defendetur ab hominibus judicante te, nec liberabitur condemnante te. At tu, Domine formator meus ex utero matris meae, non me sinas cadere in illam exprobrationem, ut exprobretur mihi furari voluisse gloriam tuam. Tibi sit gloria, cujus est omne bonum; nobis autem confusio faciei et miseria, quorum est omne malum, nisi tu volueris misereri. Misereris quippe, Domine, misereris omnium quae fecisti, et nihil odisti eorum quae fecisti, et das nobis de bonis tuis, et ditas nos inopes de optimis donis tuis: quoniam diligis pauperes, et divites facis eos divitiis tuis. Ecce nunc, Domine, pauperes nos filii tui sumus, et pusillus grex tuus: aperi nobis januas tuas, et edent pauperes, et satiabuntur, et laudabunt te qui requirunt te. Scio etiam, Domine, et confiteor docente te, quoniam soli illi qui cognoscunt se pauperes, et confitentur tibi paupertatem suam, ditabuntur a te: quoniam qui se divites existimant cum sint pauperes, a tuis divitiis invenientur exclusi.
Et ego igitur confiteor tibi, Domine Deus meus, paupertatem meam: et sit tibi tua gloria tota, quoniam tuum est omne bonum. Per me enim, Domine, fateor, ut docuisti me, nihil aliud sum quam universa vanitas et umbra mortis, et abyssus quaedam tenebrosa, et terra inanis et vacua, quae sine tua benedictione nihil germinat, fructum quoque non facit, nisi confusionem, peccatum et mortem. Si quid boni unquam habui, a te recepi, quidquid boni habeo, tuum habeo. Si quando steti, per te steti, sed quando cecidi, per me cecidi. Semper in luto jacuissem, nisi tu me erexisses: semper caecus fuissem, nisi tu me illuminasses. Quando cecidi, nunquam surrexissem, nisi tu mihi manum porrexisses. Postquam me erexisti, semper cecidissem, nisi tu me sustinuisses; saepius perissem, nisi me gubernasses.
Sic semper, Domine, sic semper gratia et misericordia tua praevenit me, liberans me ab omnibus malis, salvans a praeteritis, suscitans a praesentibus, et muniens a futuris, praecidens etiam ante me laqueos peccatorum, tollens occasiones et causas; quia nisi tu hoc mihi fecisses, ego omnia peccata mundi fecissem: quoniam scio Domine, quod nullum peccatum est quod unquam fecit homo, quod non possit facere alter homo, si desit Creator a quo factus est homo. Sed quod non facerem, tu fecisti; quod abstinerem, tu jussisti; et quod tibi crederem, tu gratiam infudisti. Tu namque, Domine, regebas me tibi, servabas me tibi et mihi, ut adulterium et omne aliud peccatum non committerem.
Scripture echoes
- ↩Gen.1.2 — And the earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.
Notes
- 1 ↩continens can mean continent (especially chastity) or more broadly self-controlled; rendered as self-controlled to fit the parallel false self-assessments without forcing a narrower sexual sense.
- 2 ↩tentatio rendered as 'trial' (Job-echo sense of life's testing), not merely 'temptation'.
- 3 ↩alieno = what is another's / not one's own; here the good that is God's gift, not humanity's property.
- 4 ↩confusio faciei kept as 'shame of face' to preserve the biblical idiom rather than flattened to generic embarrassment.
- 5 ↩confusionem rendered as shame (moral ruin/disgrace), parallel to confusio faciei in the preceding section; not mere mental confusion.
- 6 ↩quod non facerem / quod abstinerem / quod tibi crederem read as result-purpose clauses naming what God effected, commanded, and enabled; an alternate parsing takes the first as 'what I would not do, you did.'
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