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Chapter 13PsAugSoliloquia.1.13

Caput 13. De mirabili luce Dei. Quod in solo Deo bene sit homini. De variis Dei beneficiis.

The Light That Darkens All Lights

The soul addresses God as the supreme light that surpasses and darkens all other lights, confesses that without Him all is darkness and poverty, and laments its fall from divine unity into the distracting multiplicity of temporal things.

Light that no other light sees, radiance that no other radiance sees; light that darkens every light, and radiance that blinds every foreign radiance; light from which every light comes, radiance from which every radiance comes; radiance next to which every radiance is darkness, next to which every light is obscurity; light for which all darknesses are radiance, for which all obscurity is light; supreme light that blindness does not cloud, that fog does not dull, that darkness does not blacken, that no obstacle shuts out, that no shadow ever separates: light that illuminates all things wholly at once, once for all, and always—swallow me into the abyss of your brightness, that I may see you everywhere in yourself, and myself in you, and all things under you. Do not abandon me; do not let the shadows of my ignorance grow, and my sins multiply. For without you everything is darkness to me, everything evil; because nothing is good without you—the true, only, and highest Good. This I confess, this I know, Lord my God: that wherever I am without you, it goes badly for me apart from you—not only outside me, but even within me; because every abundance that is not my God is poverty to me. I will be satisfied only when your glory appears (Ps.✦1 16:15).2 For indeed, Lord, my blessed life—so that I may confess my misery to you—ever since I fell from your unity, the highest and one Good, the many-shaped variety of temporal things battered me in my fall through the bodily senses and divided me from you, the One, into many things; and what I got was a toilsome abundance and a plentiful poverty, while I chased one thing after another and was filled by none—while I was not found in you, the unchangeable, unique, undivided one Good, which I do not go astray in following, which I do not grieve in obtaining, and which, when possessed, satisfies my whole desire.34 Ah, what great misery!

The Wretched Soul's Flight

The soul laments its foolish flight from God, who restores, to the world, which fails, and begs the Physician of spirits to heal it and not abandon it.

Ah, me! Lord, my wretched soul flees from you, with whom it always has plenty and rejoices; and it follows the world, with which it always goes lacking and grieving. The world cries, "I am failing"; and you cry, "I restore"; and my wretched soul follows the one who fails more than the one who restores. Clearly, this is my weakness. Physician of spirits, heal her, so that I may thank you with my whole heart, O salvation of my soul, for all your benefits by which you feed me from my youth even into old age and extreme old age.5 I beg you by yourself: do not abandon me.

The Price of Redemption

The soul recounts the story of its redemption: how Christ, the King, came down to a slave, took on mortality, conquered death, and paid the price of His blood, sealing and anointing the soul with His own name and oil.

You created me when I did not exist; you redeemed me when I had perished. I had perished; I had been dead. You came down to the dead; you took on mortality; as King, you came down to a slave.✦✦6 To redeem the slave, you handed yourself over; so that I might live, you accepted death; you conquered death; you restored me when you humbled yourself.✦✦ I had perished; I had wandered away; I had been sold into sin. You came to redeem me—and you loved me so much that you gave your blood as the price for me.✦✦✦ You loved me more than yourself, because you were willing to die for me.✦7 By such a covenant, at such a costly price, you brought me back from exile, redeemed me from slavery, and drew me back from torment.8 You called me by your name and sealed me with your blood, so that your memory would always be with me and never leave my heart—you who for my sake never left the cross.✦ You anointed me with your oil, the same oil with which you yourself were anointed, so that from you, the Christ, I would be called a Christian.✦✦

Written in His Hands

The soul marvels that God has written it in His hands and recounts a litany of God's providential care—guiding, correcting, comforting, and delivering it through every circumstance.

And you have written me in your hands, so that remembrance of me may always be with you—if only remembrance of you remains continually with me.✦ So your grace and mercy have always gone before me; for from many dangers you have often set me free, my liberator. When I wandered, you brought me back to the way; when I was ignorant, you taught me; when I sinned, you corrected me; when I was sad, you comforted me; when I despaired, you strengthened me; when I fell, you raised me up; when I stood, you held me; when I went, you led me; when I came, you received me; when I slept, you kept watch over me; when I cried out, you heard me.

Read the original Latin

Lux quam non videt alia lux, lumen quod non videt aliud lumen; lux quae obtenebras omnem lucem, et lumen quod excaecas omne extraneum lumen; lux a qua omnis lux, lumen a quo omne lumen; lumen ad quod omne lumen est tenebrae, ad quod omnis lux obscuritas; lux cui omnes tenebrae lumen, cui omnis obscuritas lux; lux suprema quam caecitas non obnubilat, quam caligo non hebetat, quam tenebrae non obfuscant, quam nulla obstantia claudunt, quam nunquam separat aliqua umbra: lux quae illuminas omnia tota simul et semel et semper, absorbe me in claritatis tuae abyssum, ut videam undique te in te, et me in te, et cuncta sub te. Ne derelinquas me; ne accrescant umbrae ignorantiae meae, et multiplicentur delicta mea. Sine te enim omnia mihi sunt tenebrae, omnia mala; quia nihil bonum sine te vero, solo et summo bono. Hoc confiteor, hoc scio, Domine Deus meus, quia ubicumque sum sine te, male est mihi praeter te, non solum extra me, sed etiam in me; quia omnis copia quae non est Deus meus, mihi est egestas. Satiabor tantum cum apparuerit gloria tua (Psal. XVI, 15). Etenim, Domine vita mea beata, ut miseriam meam confitear tibi, ex quo ab unitate tua cecidi, summum et unum bonum; temporalium rerum multiformitas lapsum me per carnales sensus disverberavit, et ab uno te in multa divisit: et facta est mihi abundantia laboriosa, et egestas copiosa, dum aliud et aliud sequebar, et a nullo implebar; dum in te non inveniebar, incommutabile et singulare et indivisum unum bonum, quod secutus non erro, quod consecutus non doleo, quod possidens satiatur totum desiderium meum. Heu miseria magna!

heu me! Domine, misera anima mea te refugit, cum quo semper abundat et gaudet; et sequitur mundum, cum quo semper eget et dolet. Mundus clamat, Deficio; et tu clamas, Reficio: et misera anima mea magis sequitur deficientem, quam reficientem. Plane infirmitas mea haec est. Medice spirituum, sana illam, ut confitear tibi, salus animae meae, toto corde meo super omnibus beneficiis tuis, quibus pascis me a juventute mea et usque in senectam et senium. Te deprecor per te ipsum, ne derelinquas me.

Fecisti me cum non essem, redemisti me cum periissem. Perieram, mortuus fueram; ad mortuum descendisti, mortalitatem suscepisti, ad servum rex descendisti. Ut servum redimeres, te ipsum tradidisti; ut ego viverem, tu mortem suscepisti, mortem vicisti; me restaurasti, cum te humiliasti. Perieram, abieram, in peccatis venumdatus eram; venisti pro me, ut redimeres me: et tantum me dilexisti, ut sanguinem tuum in pretium dares pro me. Dilexisti me plus quam te, quia mori voluisti pro me. Tali pacto, tam caro pretio reduxisti me de exsilio, redemisti me de servitio, retraxisti me de supplicio. Vocasti me nomine tuo, signasti me sanguine tuo, ut memoriale tuum semper esset apud me, et nunquam recederet a corde meo, qui pro me nunquam recessisti a cruce. Unxisti me oleo tuo quo tu unctus fuisti ut a te Christo dicerer christianus.

Et in manibus tuis descripsisti me; ut semper sit memoria mea apud te, si tamen memoria tua jugiter fuerit apud me. Sic igitur gratia tua et misericordia semper praevenerunt me: de multis namque periculis saepe liberasti me, liberator meus; quando erravi, ad viam reduxisti me; quando ignoravi, docuisti me; quando peccavi, corripuisti me; quando fui tristis, consolatus es me; quando desperavi, confortasti me; quando cecidi, erexisti me; quando steti, tenuisti me: quando ivi, duxisti me; quando veni, suscepisti me; quando dormivi, custodisti me; quando clamavi, exaudisti me.

Scripture echoes

  1. ↩Ps.17.15 — “But I, in righteousness, shall behold your face; I shall be satisfied when I awake with your likeness.”
  2. ↩Phil.2.6-Phil.2.8 — who, existing in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to exploit, Phil.2.7 — but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness, and appearing as a human being. Phil.2.8 — And he humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
  3. ↩Eph.4.9 — Now "he ascended"—what does it mean except that he also descended into the lower regions, the earth?
  4. ↩Phil.2.8 — And he humbled himself, becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.
  5. ↩Gal.2.20 — I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
  6. ↩Rom.7.14 — For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold under sin.
  7. ↩1Pet.1.18-1Pet.1.19 — knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things—silver or gold—from your futile way of life handed down from your fathers, 1Pet.1.19 — but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot
  8. ↩1Cor.6.20 — For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.
  9. ↩John.15.13 — No one has greater love than this: that someone lay down his life for his friends.
  10. ↩Isa.43.1 — But now thus says the LORD, your Creator, O Jacob, and your Former, O Israel: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine.
  11. ↩Ps.45.7 — Your throne, O God, is forever and ever; the scepter of your kingdom is a scepter of uprightness.
  12. ↩Acts.11.26 — And when he had found him, he brought him to Antioch. And it happened that for a whole year they gathered with the church and taught a considerable crowd, and that the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch.
  13. ↩Isa.49.16 — Behold, on your palms I have engraved you; your walls are continually before me.

Notes

  1. 1 ↩Printed sentence is an incomplete citation opener split across s5–s6; Vulgate Ps 16:15 cadence retained.
  2. 2 ↩Citation close only; numbering follows the source's Vulgate Psalm XVI, 15.
  3. 3 ↩disverberavit rendered as 'battered' (beat apart/scattered); rare verb, sense of violent scattering through the senses.
  4. 4 ↩inveniebar taken as passive 'I was not found in you' (Augustinian location-in-God sense), not as active finding.
  5. 5 ↩confitear rendered as thanksgiving/praise (beneficia context), not confession of sin; salus kept as 'salvation' in the God-address, though the Medice/sana frame also admits 'health'.
  6. 6 ↩Rendered as descent to the dead speaker, parallel with ad servum; could also be heard as descent among the dead.
  7. 7 ↩Kept the bold comparative as stated; it is rhetorical praise of self-giving love, not a metaphysical claim that God prefers the creature to the divine self.
  8. 8 ↩pacto can mean covenant/pact or, more loosely, manner/terms; rendered as covenant because it stands with tam caro pretio as the terms of redemption.

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