Coplas del alma que pena por ver a Dios
The Agony of Absence
The soul expresses the profound existential paradox of feeling dead while physically alive because it is separated from its true life in God.
In me, I no longer live, and without God, I can't live; for without Him and without me, I remain—what will this life be? A thousand deaths will come upon me, for I hope for my very life, dying because I do not die. This life that I live is a deprivation of living; and so, it is a continuous dying until I live with you. Listen, my God, to what I say: I don't want this life, for I die because I do not die. When I'm away from You, what kind of life can I have, other than suffering the greatest death I've ever known? I pity myself, for I endure such a fate that I die because I do not die. A fish out of water doesn't lack for relief, because in the death it suffers, death is ultimately worth it. What death could compare to my painful living, since the more I live, the more I die?
The Sacrament and the Struggle
The poet reflects on the bittersweet nature of sacramental longing and the fear of losing the hope of union.
When I think that seeing you in the Sacrament will bring me relief, my inability to possess you fully only deepens my pain; everything makes me suffer more because I can't see you as I long to, and I die because I do not die. And if I rejoice, Lord, with the hope of seeing you, the thought that I might lose you doubles my pain; living in such fear and waiting as I do, I die because I do not die.
The Cry for Deliverance
The soul pleads for release from the bonds of mortality and sin, looking toward the final transformation of death into true life.
Deliver me from this death, my God, and give me life; don't keep me bound in this strong bond; see how I suffer for wanting to see you, and my pain is so complete that I die because I do not die. I will weep for my death now, and I will lament my life, as it is held back by my sins. Oh my God! When will the time come when I can truly say: I live now because I do not die?
Read the original Latin
En mí yo no vivo ya, y sin Dios vivir no puedo; pues sin él y sin mí quedo, este vivir ¿qué será? Mil muertes se me hará, pues mi misma vida espero, muriendo porque no muero.
Esta vida que yo vivo es privación de vivir; y así, es continuo morir hasta que viva contigo. Oye, mi Dios, lo que digo: que esta vida no la quiero, que muero porque no muero.
Estando ausente de ti ¿qué vida puedo tener, sino muerte padecer la mayor que nunca vi? Lástima tengo de mí, pues de suerte persevero, que muero, porque no muero.
El pez que del agua sale aun de alivio no carece, que en la muerte que padece al fin la muerte le vale. ¿Qué muerte habrá que se iguale a mi vivir lastimero, pues si más vivo más muero?
Cuando me pienso aliviar de verte en el Sacramento, háceme más sentimiento el no te poder gozar; todo es para más penar por no verte como quiero, y muero porque no muero.
Y si me gozo, Señor, con esperanza de verte, en ver que puedo perderte se me dobla mi dolor; viviendo en tanto pavor y esperando como espero, muérome porque no muero.
¡Sácame de aquesta muerte mi Dios, y dame la vida; no me tengas impedida en este lazo tan fuerte; mira que peno por verte, y mi mal es tan entero, que muero porque no muero.
Lloraré mi muerte ya y lamentaré mi vida, en tanto que detenida por mis pecados está. ¡Oh mi Dios! , ¿cuándo será cuando yo diga de vero: vivo ya porque no muero?
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