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← Orationes sive Meditationes — Collection for Princess Adeliza of Normandy/Book 1 · Orationes sive Meditationes
Chapter 97Ansl.1.97

MEDITATIO XXI Excitans animam ad quaerendum et inveniendum Deum.

Withdrawing into the Inner Room

The soul is urged to step away from distractions, enter the inner room of the mind, and seek God's face with the whole heart.

Let it be done now, little one: pull away for a moment from your earthly occupations; hide yourself for a while from your turbulent thoughts; set down your burdensome cares now, and put aside your laborious distractions. Be free for a little while for God, and rest a little in him. Enter into the inner room of your mind, shut out everything except God and whatever helps you seek him, and with the door closed, seek him. And say now — with your whole heart, say now to God: I seek your face; your face, Lord, I will seek.✦✦

Where Shall I Find You?

The soul confesses its inability to find God, asking how to seek, approach, and recognize the God who is both everywhere and hidden.

Come now, then, Lord my God, teach my heart where and how to seek you, where and how to find you. Lord, if you're not here, where am I to seek you in your absence? But if you're everywhere, why don't I see you present? But surely you dwell in inaccessible light. And where is that inaccessible light? Or how am I to approach that inaccessible light? Or who will lead me into it, so that I may see you there? Finally, by what signs, by what appearance, am I to seek you?

The Exile's Lament

The soul describes itself as a far-off exile from God, longing to see, approach, and know the face of the Lord it has never seen.

I have never seen you, Lord my God; I have never known your face. What will he do, O Most High Lord — what will he do, this far-off exile of yours? What will your servant do, anxious with love for you, and cast far away from your presence? He longs to see you, and yet your face is far from him. He longs to draw near to you, and your dwelling is inaccessible. He yearns to find you, and he does not know where you are. He strives to seek you, and he does not know your face.

Made for God, Yet Unknowing

The soul confesses that God is its Lord and Maker, yet it has not fulfilled its purpose of seeing God, having lost blessedness and found misery instead.

Lord, you are my God, and you are my Lord, and I have never seen you. You made me and remade me, and every good thing I have you bestowed on me; and still I have not come to know you.1 In the end, I was made to see you, and I have not yet done the very thing I was made for.2 O wretched lot of man, that he should lose the very thing he was made for!3 O harsh, O dreadful that fall! Alas, what has he lost, and what has he found? What has slipped away, and what remains? He lost the blessedness for which he was made, and found the misery for which he was not made.

The Bread of Sorrows

Man departed from God and ate the bread of sorrows, not recognizing it at the time.

He departed, without whom nothing is happy, and what remained was nothing but wretchedness in itself. Then man ate the bread of sorrows, which he did not recognize at the time.✦

Humanity's Universal Grief

The soul mourns the universal human condition: abundance turned to hunger, happiness to wretchedness, life to death, and home to exile.

What public grief of humanity, what universal lament of the children of Adam! He poured forth his abundance, and we sigh with hunger. He had more than enough, and we go begging. He held fast in happiness and abandoned us in wretchedness; we go without, unhungered, and long for what we lack miserably — and how empty we remain! Why didn't he keep watch over us, when he easily could have, to spare us such grievous lack? Why did he shut out the light from us this way, and cover us over with darkness? Why did he take life away from us, and bring death in? Wretched ones — driven out from where, driven on toward what?

From Home to Exile, from Light to Darkness

The soul traces the trajectory of humanity's fall: from homeland to exile, from God's sight to blindness, from immortal delight to bitter death.

Hurled headlong—from where, and to where, are we buried? From our homeland into exile; from the sight of God into our own blindness; from the delight of immortality into the bitterness and dishonor of death. What a wretched change! From so great a good into so great an evil!

Wretched Me, Wandering in Grief

The soul turns inward, lamenting its own wandering, tribulation, and unfulfilled seeking, confessing that it sought good but found turmoil.

A terrible loss, a terrible pain — terrible through and through. But alas, wretched me — one among the other children of Eve, wretched souls cut off from God! What did I set out to do? What have I done? Where was I heading? Where have I ended up? What was I reaching for, and what am I left sighing over? I sought good things, and look — turmoil (Job 14:19).✦

Seeking God, Stumbling on Self

The soul sought rest in God but found tribulation within itself, and cries out to God, asking how long He will turn His face away.

I was reaching toward God, and I stumbled against myself. I was seeking rest in my own inner chamber, and I found tribulation and grief in the deepest parts of myself.4 I wanted to turn away from the gladness of my own mind, and I'm compelled to cry out from the groaning of my heart.5 Joy was what I hoped for — and look, my sighs only pile up.6 And, O you, Lord — how long? How long, Lord, will you forget me? How long will you turn your face away from me? . When will you look back and hear me?

When Will You Show Your Face?

The soul asks when God will open its eyes, show His face, and restore Himself to it.

When will you open my eyes and show me your face? When will you restore yourself to me?

A Hungry Petitioner Before a Rich God

The soul begs God to look, hear, enlighten, and console it, coming hungry and poor lest it leave unfed and despised.

Look on me, Lord, and hear me, and enlighten me: show yourself to me. Give yourself back to me, so that things may go well for me — without you, things go so badly for me.7 Direct, Lord, my labors and my efforts toward you, because without you I am strong in nothing. You invite me — help me, I beg you, Lord, lest I despair as I sigh, but let me breathe again in hope. I beg you, Lord — my heart has been made bitter by its own desolation; sweeten it with your consolation.8 I beg you, Lord — hungering, I began to seek you, lest I give up fasting from you; famished, I drew near, lest I go away unfed. I came, poor, to the One who is rich; wretched, to the One who is merciful — lest I leave empty and despised. And if I sigh before I eat, give me, after my sighs, something to eat.9

Lifted Up from Sin's Burden

The soul confesses its sin-bent posture, asks to be lifted up, and gives thanks for being made in God's image, though now darkened and in need of renewal.

Lord, I am bent over — I can look nowhere but downward. Lift me up so that I can turn my attention upward. My iniquities have risen above my head; they wrap around me and, like a heavy burden, they weigh me down. Unroll me, unburden me, lest the pit of them gape its mouth over me.✦10 Let me gaze upon your light from afar, or from the depths. Teach me to seek you, Lord, and reveal yourself to the one who seeks — because I cannot seek you unless you teach me, nor find you unless you show yourself to me. Let me seek you by desiring, desire you by seeking; let me find you by loving, love you by finding. I confess, Lord, and I give you thanks, for you created me as this image of yours, so that, mindful of you, I might think of you and love you.✦11 But it has been so worn away by the grinding of vices, so darkened by the smoke of sins, that it cannot do what it was made to do — unless you renew it and reshape it.✦12

Faith Seeking Understanding

The soul declares that it does not seek to understand in order to believe, but believes in order to understand.

I do not try, Lord, to penetrate your depth, for I in no way compare my understanding to it, but I desire to some extent to understand your truth, which my heart believes and loves; for I do not seek to understand in order to believe, but I believe in order to understand.✦13

The Inaccessible Light

The soul contemplates God as the inaccessible light, too brilliant for human sight, yet the medium through which all else is seen.

Truly, Lord, this is the inaccessible light in which you dwell. For truly there is nothing that can penetrate this light so as to see you there. Truly I do not see this light, because it is too overwhelming; and yet whatever I do see, I see through this light, just as a weak eye sees whatever it sees through the light of the sun — that same sun which it cannot bear to look at directly. My understanding cannot draw near to that light, for it shines too brilliantly — so it cannot grasp it, nor is the eye of my soul sufficient to fix its gaze on it for long. It is dazzled by the brightness, overcome by the vastness, overwhelmed by the immensity, confused by the sheer capacity. O highest and inaccessible light, O holy and blessed truth, how far you are from me — and yet how close I am to you! How remote you are from my sight, when I am so fully present to yours! Everywhere you are fully present, and yet I do not see you.

Present to God, Blind to God

The soul confesses that it exists within God's presence and yet does not perceive Him.

In you I'm stirred, and in you I exist, and yet I can't draw near to you. Within me and around me you are, and I don't perceive you.

A Soul in Darkness Amid Light

The soul dwells in God's light yet remains in darkness, unable to see, hear, smell, taste, or feel God, because its senses are dulled by sin.

You still lie hidden, Lord, from my soul, even though it is in your light and blessedness; and so it still dwells in darkness and its own misery — it looks, but does not see your beauty. It listens, but does not hear your harmony. It catches a scent, but does not perceive your fragrance; it reaches out, but does not feel your gentleness; it tastes, but does not recognize your sweetness. For you have these things within yourself, Lord my God, in your own ineffable way, because you gave them to created things in their own perceptible way; but the senses of my soul have grown numb and dull and blunted by the long-standing weakness of sin. What are you, Lord? What are you? What does my mouth understand of you? Surely you are life, you are truth, you are goodness, you are blessedness, you are eternity, and you are every good.

How Great Is That Good?

The soul is roused to consider the greatness of God as the supreme Good, whose joys surpass all created goods and human imagination.

Rouse yourself now, my soul, and lift up your whole mind, and consider how great, how excellent, and what that Good is. For if individual goods are delightful, consider intently how delightful is that Good which contains all goods and the pleasantness of every good — not of the kind we have experienced in created things, but as different as the difference between Creator and creature.14 If created life is good, how good is the Life that creates. If the salvation that was made is delightful, how delightful is the Salvation that has made all salvation.15 If wisdom is lovable in the knowledge of created things, how lovable is the Wisdom that founded all things out of nothing. In short, if there are many and great delights in delightful things, what kind and how great is the delight in the One who made all that is delightful? O the one who will enjoy this Good — what will that person have, and what will that person not have?16 Surely whatever that person wishes will be, and whatever that person does not wish will not be. For there will be goods of body and soul such as ear has not heard, nor eye seen, nor the heart of man has conceived.✦17

Love the One Good

The soul is urged to stop wandering among many goods and to love and desire the one simple Good in which all goods are found.

Why, then, do you wander through so many things, little one, seeking goods for your soul and for your body? Love the one good in which all goods are found, and that is enough. Desire the simple good, which is every good, and it is enough. What is it that you love, my flesh? What is it that you desire, my soul? There you will find whatever you love, whatever you desire. If beauty delights you, the righteous will shine like the sun.✦ If swiftness, or strength, or freedom of the body that nothing can resist — they will be like the angels of God, because the natural body is sown, and the spiritual body will rise, in power to be sure, not in nature.✦

The Joys That Await the Saints

The soul imagines the future joys of the blessed: eternal life, satisfaction, angelic song, intoxication with God's abundance, wisdom, friendship, and perfect unity of will.

If what you long for is a long and healthy life, there you'll find sound eternity and everlasting wholeness, because the righteous will live forever; and the salvation of the righteous comes from the Lord.✦18 If what you want is to be filled to satisfaction, they will be satisfied when the glory of God appears.19 If what you long for is melody, there the angels sing to God without end. If what you crave is intoxication, they will be filled to overflowing from the abundance of your house.✦20 If what you desire is any pleasure that is not impure but pure: from the torrent of your pleasure you will give them to drink, Lord.✦21 If what you seek is wisdom, the very wisdom of God will reveal itself to them. If what you desire is friendship, they will love God more than themselves, and God will love them more than they love themselves, because they will love him and each other through him, and he will love himself and them through himself.22 If what you long for is harmony, all of them will share one will, because they will have no will at all except the will of God alone.

Power, Honor, and Security in God

The soul contemplates the blessedness of the saints: almighty power, divine sonship, and unshakeable security in God's love.

If it's power, they will be made almighty in their own will, as God is in his. For just as God can do what he wills by himself, so they will be able to do through him. Because just as they will nothing other than what he wills, so he wills whatever they will; and what he wills cannot fail to be. If it's honor and riches, God will place his good and faithful servants over many things. Indeed, they'll be called sons of God and gods, and where the Son is, they too will be there — heirs of God, and co-heirs with Christ. If it's true security, they can be certain they'll never lose it of their own accord; nor will the Lover, the Lord, take it away from those who love him, nor will anything more powerful than God separate God and them against their will. But what kind of joy — and how great — is it, where there is a good so great and so complete? Human heart, heart in need, heart that has known hardships — no, buried under them — how much you would rejoice if you had all these things in abundance!

Can Your Heart Hold Such Joy?

The soul questions whether the human heart can contain the joy of so many blessings shared in perfect mutual love.

Search your deepest places — can they even hold the joy that belongs to you from so great a blessedness? But surely, if there were another person you loved entirely as you love yourself, and that person shared the same blessedness, your joy would be doubled — because you'd rejoice for that person no less than for yourself.✦ If two or three — or many more — possessed that same blessedness, you'd rejoice for each one just as much as for yourself, if you loved each one as you love yourself. Therefore, in that perfect love of the innumerable blessed — angels and human beings alike — where no one loves another less than himself, each one will rejoice for every other individual just as much as for himself.

Loving God Beyond All

The soul contemplates the perfect love of the blessed, who will love God far more than themselves and rejoice in His happiness above all.

If, then, the human heart can barely hold onto its own joy at possessing so great a good, how could it ever be capable of holding the joy of so many blessings — and blessings so immense? And surely, the more each person loves another, the more that person will rejoice in the other's good. So it will be in that perfect happiness: each one will love God beyond all comparison, far more than himself and everyone else combined. Therefore each one will rejoice beyond measure in the happiness of God far more than in his own happiness and in that of everyone else combined. But if they will love God with all their heart, all their mind, and all their soul, so that the whole heart, the whole mind, and the whole soul will not be enough to match the dignity of that love — then surely the just will likewise rejoice in that heavenly happiness with all their heart, all their mind, and all their soul, so that the whole heart, the whole mind, and the whole soul will not be enough to contain the fullness of their joy.23

Is This the Fullness of Joy?

The soul asks God whether the joy it has described is the joy promised by Christ, and reflects that the blessed will enter into joy rather than joy entering them.

My God and my Lord, my hope and the joy of my heart, say to my soul: Is this the joy of which you speak to us through your Son — Ask, and you will receive, so that your joy may be full?✦ I have found, in fact, a certain joy that is full — fuller than full. With a full heart, a full life, a full soul, the whole person brimming with that joy — even then, joy will still overflow beyond all measure. For the whole of that joy will not enter into those who rejoice, but those who rejoice, wholly, will enter into that joy.✦

The Unseen, Unheard Joy

The soul confesses that the joy of the blessed surpasses all earthly experience and asks God to let it grow in knowledge and love until fullness comes.

Speak, Lord, speak to your servant inwardly, in his heart: is this the joy into which your servants will enter — those who will enter into the joy of their God?✦ But that joy — the joy your chosen ones will surely delight in — neither eye has seen, nor ear has heard, nor has it risen up into the heart of any person in this life.✦ So then, Lord, I have not yet spoken — or even imagined — how greatly those blessed ones of yours will rejoice. Surely they will rejoice as much as they love, and they will love as much as they know. As much as they will know you then, Lord, and as much as they will love you. Truly, neither eye has seen, nor ear has heard, nor has it risen into the heart of any person in this life — how much your saints will know you and love you in that life.✦ I pray to you, my God, that I may know you, love you, and rejoice in you; and if I cannot reach fullness in this life, then let me grow day by day until that fullness comes. Let the knowledge of you grow in me here, and there let it become complete.

Growing Toward Fullness

The soul prays that its knowledge and love of God may grow now and be completed in the life to come, bringing great hope now and full joy then.

Let your love grow here, and there let it become complete; so that here your joy may be great in hope, and there it may be full in you.2425

Until I Enter into Joy

The soul asks what God counsels through the Wonderful Counselor, and concludes with a doxological desire to meditate on, love, and hunger for God until entering into His joy.

Lord, through your Son you command—no, you counsel—us to ask, and you promise to receive us, so that our joy may be full.✦26 I ask, Lord, what you counsel through your wonderful Counselor: that I may receive what you promise through your truth, so that my joy may be full.✦✦27 Let my mind meditate on you; let my tongue speak of you; let my heart love you; let my mouth speak of you; let my soul hunger for you; let my flesh thirst for you; let my whole being desire you—until I enter into the joy of my Lord, who is the triune and one God, blessed forever and ever.✦✦✦28 Amen.

Read the original Latin

Fiat nunc, homuncio, fuge paululum occupationes terrenas, absconde te modicum a tumultuosis cogitationibus tuis, abjice nunc onerosas curas tuas, et postpone laboriosas distensiones tuas. Vaca aliquantulum Deo, et requiesce aliquantulum in eo. Intra in cubiculum mentis tuae, exclude omnia praeter Deum, et quae te juvant ad quaerendum eum, et clauso ostio quaere eum; et dic nunc, totum cor meum, dic nunc Deo: Quaero vultum tuum; vultum tuum, Domine, requiram.

Eia nunc ergo, Domine Deus meus, doce cor meum ubi et quomodo te quaerat, ubi et quomodo te inveniat. Domine, si hic non es, ubi te quaeram absentem! Si autem ubique es, cur non te video praesentem? Sed certe habitas lucem inaccessibilem. Et ubi est lux inaccessibilis? aut quomodo accedam ad lucem inaccessibilem? aut quis me ducet in illam, ut videam te in illa? Denique quibus signis, qua facie te quaeram?

Nunquam te vidi, Domine Deus meus, non novi faciem tuam. Quid faciet, altissime Domine, quid faciet iste tuus longinquus exsul? Quid faciet servus tuus anxius amore tui, et longe projectus a facie tua? Anhelat videre te, et nimis abest illi facies tua. Accedere ad te desiderat, et inaccessibilis est habitatio tua. Invenire te cupit, et nescit locum tuum. Quaerere te affectat, et ignorat vultum tuum.

Domine, Deus meus es, et Dominus meus es, et nunquam te vidi. Tu me fecisti et refecisti, et omnia bona quae habeo tu mihi contulisti; et nondum novi te. Denique ad videndum te factus sum; et nondum feci propter quod factus sum. O misera sors hominis, cum hoc perdidit homo ad quod factus est! O durus, o dirus casus ille! Heu quid perdidit et quid invenit? Quid abscessit et quid remansit? Perdidit beatitudinem ad quam factus est, et invenit miseriam propter quam factus non est.

Abscessit sine quo nihil felix est, et remansit quod per se non nisi miserum est. Manducabat tunc homo panem dolorum, quem tunc nesciebat.

Heu publicus luctus hominum, universalis planctus filiorum Adae! Ille eructabat saturitatem, nos suspiramus esuriem. Ille abundabat, nos mendicamus. Ille feliciter tenebat et misere deseruit, nos infeliciter egemus et miserabiliter desideramus; et heu vacui remanemus! Cur non nobis custodivit, cum facile posset, quo tam graviter caremus? Quare sic nobis obseravit lucem, et obduxit nos tenebris? Ut quid nobis abstulit vitam, et induxit mortem? Aerumnosi, unde sumus expulsi, quo sumus impulsi?

Unde praecipitati, quo sumus obruti? A patria, in exsilium; a visione Dei, in caecitatem nostram; a jucunditate immortalitatis, in amaritudinem et honorem mortis. Misera mutatio! De quanto bono in quantum malum!

Grave damnum, gravis dolor, grave totum. Sed heu me miserum, unum de aliis filiis Evae, miseris elongatis a Deo! Quid incoepi? quid feci? quo tendebam? quo deveni? ad quid aspirabam, et in quibus suspiro? Quaesivi bona, et ecce turbatio (Job XIV, 19).

Tendebam in Deum, et offendi in me ipsum. Requiem quaerebam in secreto meo, et tribulationem, et dolorem inveni in intimis mei. Volebam redire a gaudio mentis meae, et cogor rugire a gemitu cordis mei. Sperabatur laetitia, et ecce condensantur suspiria. Et, o tu Domine, usquequo? Usquequo, Domine, oblivisceris me, usquequo avertis faciem tuam a me? . Quando respicies et exaudies me?

Quando illuminabis oculos meos, et ostendes mihi faciem tuam? Quando restitues mihi?

Respice, Domine, et exaudi me, et illumina me: ostende mihi te ipsum. Restitue mihi te, ut bene sit mihi, sine quo tam male est mihi. Dirige, Domine, labores meos, et conatus meos ad te, quia nihil valeo sine te. Invitas me, adjuva me, obsecro, Domine, ne desperem suspirando; sed respirem sperando. Obsecro te, Domine, amaricatum est cor meum sua desolatione, indulca illud tua consolatione. Obsecro te, Domine, esuriens incoepi quaerere te, ne desistam jejunus de te; famelicus accessi, ne recedam impastus. Pauper veni ad divitem, miser ad misericordem, ne recedam vacuus et contemptus. Et si antequam comedam suspiro, da mihi post suspiria quod comedam.

Domine, incurvatus sum, non nisi deorsum aspicere valeo. Erige me, ut possim sursum intendere. Iniquitates meae supergressae sunt caput meum, et obvolvunt me, et sicut onus grave gravant me, evolve me, exonera me, ne urgeat puteus earum super me os suum. Liceat mihi de longe aspicere lucem tuam, vel de profundo. Doce me quaerere te, Domine, et ostende te quaerenti, quia nec quaerere te possum, nisi tu doceas me, nec invenire, nisi ostendas te mihi. Quaeram te desiderando, desiderem quaerendo, inveniam amando, amem inveniendo. Fateor, Domine, et gratias ago tibi, quia tu creasti me hanc imaginem tuam, ut tui memor te cogitem, te amem. Sed sic abolita est attritione vitiorum, sic offuscata fumo peccatorum ut non possit facere ad quod facta est, nisi tu renoves et reformes eam.

Non tento, Domine, penetrare altitudinem tuam, quia nullatenus comparo illi intellectum meum, sed desidero aliquatenus intelligere veritatem tuam, quam credit et amat cor meum; neque enim quaero intelligere, ut credam, sed credo, ut intelligam.

Vere, Domine, haec lux est inaccessibilis in qua habitas. Vere enim non est aliquid, quod hanc penetret, ut ibi te videat. Vere hanc non video, quia nimia est, et tamen quidquid video, per hanc video, sicut infirmus oculus, qui quidquid videt per lucem solis videt, quam in ipso sole nequit aspicere. Non potest intellectus meus ad illam accedere; nimis enim fulget, ideo non capit illam, nec sufficit oculus animae meae diu intendere in illam. Reverberatur fulgore, vincitur amplitudine, obruitur immensitate, confunditur capacitate. O summa et inaccessibilis lux, o sancta et beata veritas, quae longe es a me, qui tam prope sum tibi! Quam remota es a conspectu meo, qui sic praesens sum conspectui tuo! Ubique es tota praesens, et non video te.

In te moveor, et in te sum, et ad te non possum accedere. Intra me et circa me es, et non sentio te.

Adhuc lates, Domine, animam meam in luce et beatitudine tua, et idcirco versatur illa adhuc in tenebris et miseria sua; conspicit enim, et non videt pulchritudinem tuam. Auscultat, et non audit harmoniam tuam. Olfacit, et non percipit odorem tuum; palpat, et non sentit lenitatem tuam; gustat, et non agnoscit saporem tuum. Habes enim haec in te, Domine Deus meus, tuo ineffabili modo, quia ea dedit rebus creatis suo sensibili modo, sed obriguerunt et obstupuerunt, et obtusi sunt sensus animae meae vetusto languore peccati. Quid es, Domine, quid es, quid te intelligit os meum? Certe vita es, veritas es, bonitas es, beatitudo es, aeternitas es, et omne bonum es.

Excitare nunc, anima mea, et erige totum intellectum tuum, et cogita quantum, quale et quod sit illud bonum. Si enim singula bona delectabilia sunt, cogita intente quam delectabile sit illud bonum, quod continet omnia bona et jucunditatem omnium bonorum; non qualem experti sumus in rebus creatis, sed tanto differentem, quantum differt Creator a creatura. Si enim bona est vita creata, quam bona est vita creatrix. Si jucunda est salus facta, quam jucunda est salus, quae fecit omnem salutem. Si amabilis est sapientia in cognitione rerum conditarum, quam amabilis est sapientia, quae omnia condidit ex nihilo. Denique si multae et magnae delectationes in rebus delectabilibus sunt, qualis et quanta est delectatio in eo qui fecit delectabilia? O qui hoc bono fruetur, quid illi erit, et quid illi non erit? Certe quidquid volet, erit, et quidquid nolet, non erit; ibi quippe erunt bona corporis et animae, qualia nec auris audivit, nec oculus vidit, nec cor hominis cogitavit.

Cur ergo per multa vagaris, homuncio, quaerendo bona animae tuae et corporis tui? ama unum bonum, in quo sunt omnia bona, et sufficit. Desidera simplex bonum, quod est omne bonum, et satis est. Quid enim amas, caro mea? quid desideras, anima mea? ibi est quidquid amatis, quidquid desideratis. Si pulchritudo delectat, fulgebunt justi sicut sol. Si velocitas, aut fortitudo, aut libertas corporis, cui nihil obsistere possit, erunt similes angelis Dei, quia seminatur corpus animale, surget corpus spiritale, potestate utique, non natura.

Si longa et salubris vita, ibi est sana aeternitas, et aeterna sanitas, quia justi in perpetuum vivent; et salus justorum a Domino. Si satietas, satiabuntur cum apparuerit gloria Dei. Si melodia, ibi angeli concinunt sine fine Deo. Si ebrietas, inebriabuntur ab ubertate domus tuae. Si quaelibet non immunda, sed munda voluptas: De torrente voluptatis tuae potabis eos, Domine. Si sapientia, ipsa Dei sapientia ostendet eis semetipsam. Si amicitia, diligent Deum plusquam seipsos, et Deus illos plusquam illi seipsos, quia illi illum et se invicem per illum, et ille se et illos per seipsum. Si concordia, omnibus illis erit una voluntas, quia nulla erit illis, nisi sola Dei voluntas.

Si potentia, omnipotentes erunt voluntatis suae, ut Deus suae. Nam sicut Deus poterit quod volet per se ipsum, ita illi per illum. Quia sicut non aliud volent quam ille, ita ille volet quidquid volent illi, et quod ille volet non poterit non esse. Si honor et divitiae, Deus servos suos bonos et fideles super multa constituet. Imo Filii Dei, et dii vocabuntur, et ubi erit Filius, tunc etiam illi, haeredes quidem Dei, cohaeredes autem Christi. Si vera securitas, certe certi erunt se sua sponte illud non amissuros; nec dilectorem Dominum dilectoribus suis illud ablaturum, nec aliquid Deo potentius invitos Deum et illos separaturum. Gaudium vero quale ac quantum est, ubi tale ac tantum bonum est? Cor humanum, cor indigens, cor expertum aerumnas, imo obrutum aerumnis, quantum gauderes, si iis omnibus abundares!

Interroga omnia intima tua, si capere possunt gaudium suum de tanta beatitudine sua. Sed certe, si quis alius, quem omnino sicut teipsum diligeres, eamdem beatitudinem haberet, duplicaretur gaudium tuum; quia non minus gauderes pro eo quam pro te ipso. Si vero duo, vel tres, vel multo plures id ipsum haberent, tantumdem pro singulis, quantum pro te ipso gauderes, si singulos sicut temetipsum amares. Ergo in illa perfecta charitate innumerabilium beatorum angelorum et hominum, ubi nullus alium diligit minus quam se ipsum, non aliter gaudebit unusquisque pro singulis aliis quam pro se ipso.

Si ergo cor hominis de tanto suo bono vix capiet gaudium suum, quomodo capax erit tot et tantorum gaudiorum? Et utique quantum quisque diligit aliquem, tantum gaudebit de suo bono. Sic et in illa perfecta felicitate, unusquisque plus amabit Deum sine comparatione, quam se et omnes alios secum. Itaque plus gaudebit absque aestimatione de felicitate Dei quam de sua et omnium aliorum secum. Sed si Deum sic diligent toto corde, tota mente, tota anima, ut totum cor, tota mens, tota anima non sufficiant dignitati dilectionis, profecto sic gaudebunt justi in illa superna felicitate toto corde, tota mente, tota anima, ut totum cor, tota mens, tota anima non sufficiant plenitudini gaudii.

Deus meus, et Dominus, spes mea et gaudium cordis mei, dic animae meae si hoc est gaudium de quo nobis dicis per Filium tuum: Petite, et accipietis, ut gaudium vestrum sit plenum. Inveni namque gaudium quoddam plenum, et plusquam plenum. Pleno quippe corde, plena vita, plena anima, pleno toto homine gaudio illo, adhuc supererit supra modum gaudium. Non enim totum illud gaudium intrabit in gaudentes, sed toti gaudentes intrabunt in illud gaudium.

Dic, Domine, dic servo tuo, intus in corde suo, si hoc est gaudium in quod intrabunt servi tui, qui intrabunt in gaudium Dei sui. Sed gaudium illud certe quo gaudebunt electi tui, nec oculus vidit, nec auris audivit, nec in cor hominis ascendit in hac vita. Nondum ergo dixi, Domine, aut cogitavi quantum gaudebunt illi beati tui. Utique tantum gaudebunt quantum amabunt, tantum amabunt quantum cognoscent. Quantum te cognoscent tunc, Domine, et quantum te amabunt. Certe nec oculus vidit, nec auris audivit, nec in cor hominis ascendit in hac vita quantum te cognoscent, et amabunt in illa vita sancti tui. Oro te, Deus meus, ut cognoscam te, amem te, gaudeamque de te; et si non possum in hac vita ad plenum, vel proficiam in dies, quousque veniat illud ad plenum. Proficiat hic in me notitia tua, et ibi fiat plena.

Crescat hic amor tuus, et ibi fiat plenus; ut hic gaudium sit in spe magnum, et ibi sit in te plenum.

Domine, per Filium tuum jubes, imo consulis petere et promittis accipere, ut gaudium nostrum sit plenum. Peto, Domine, quod consulis per admirabilem consiliarium tuum, ut accipiam quod promittis per veritatem tuam, ut gaudium meum plenum sit. Meditetur interim in te mens mea, loquatur inde lingua mea, amet illud cor meum, sermocinetur de ipso os meum, esuriat illud anima mea, sitiat caro mea, desideret tota substantia mea, donec intrem in gaudium Domini mei, qui est trinus et unus Deus, benedictus in saecula saeculorum. Amen.

Scripture echoes

  1. ↩Ps.27.8 — My heart says of you, 'Seek my face.' Your face, LORD, I will seek.
  2. ↩Matt.6.6 — But when you pray, go into your inner room, and having shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
  3. ↩Ps.126.5 — Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.
  4. ↩Job.14.19 — Water wears away stones, washes away the soil of the earth, and You have destroyed the hope of man.
  5. ↩Ps.37.5;Ps.39.4 — Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. Ps.39.4 — My heart grew hot within me; as I mused, the fire burned. Then I spoke with my tongue.
  6. ↩Gen.1.27 — So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
  7. ↩Col.3.10;Eph.4.24 — and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of its Creator Eph.4.24 — and put on the new self, created according to God in righteousness and holiness of the truth.
  8. ↩Isa.7.9 — And the head of Ephraim is Samaria, and the head of Samaria is the son of Remaliah. If you do not believe, surely you will not be established.
  9. ↩1Cor.2.9 — But as it is written: What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived—all that God has prepared for those who love him.
  10. ↩Matt.13.43 — Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father. Let the one who has ears, hear.
  11. ↩1Cor.15.44 — It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual one.
  12. ↩Ps.143.12 — And in your steadfast love cut off my enemies, and destroy all who afflict my soul, for I am your servant.
  13. ↩Ps.35.9 — Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD; it will exult in his salvation.
  14. ↩Ps.35.9 — Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD; it will exult in his salvation.
  15. ↩Lev.19.18 — You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.
  16. ↩John.16.24 — Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, so that your joy may be full.
  17. ↩Matt.25.21 — His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You were faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.'
  18. ↩Matt.7.7;John.16.24 — Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. John.16.24 — Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, so that your joy may be full.
  19. ↩1Cor.2.9 — But as it is written: What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived—all that God has prepared for those who love him.
  20. ↩1Cor.2.9 — But as it is written: What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived—all that God has prepared for those who love him.
  21. ↩John.16.24 — Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, so that your joy may be full.
  22. ↩Isa.9.6 — For the increase of his government and for peace there will be no end, upon the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this.
  23. ↩John.16.24 — Until now you have asked nothing in my name. Ask, and you will receive, so that your joy may be full.
  24. ↩Ps.83.3 — For behold, your enemies make an uproar, and those who hate you have raised their heads.
  25. ↩Matt.5.6;Ps.36.9 — Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Ps.36.9 — They drink their fill of the abundance of your house, and from your river of delights you give them drink.
  26. ↩Matt.25.21 — His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful servant. You were faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.'

Notes

  1. 1 ↩refecisti ('remade') suggests a second making—restoration or renewal after a fall—not merely repetition.
  2. 2 ↩ad videndum te factus sum: the gerundive/purpose construction stresses that the soul's creation was ordered toward the vision of God.
  3. 3 ↩cum here is exclamatory ('that') rather than strictly temporal ('when'); it heightens the lament.
  4. 4 ↩secreto rendered as 'inner chamber' to capture the sense of a private, interior space of the soul; could also be 'inmost retreat.'
  5. 5 ↩rugire rendered as 'cry out' rather than 'groan' to distinguish it from gemitu below; the Latin suggests a loud, anguished cry.
  6. 6 ↩condensantur is a rare verb; rendered as 'pile up' to convey the sense of sighs heaping up or growing thick. Confidence in this reading is moderate.
  7. 7 ↩ut rendered as purpose ('so that') rather than result; the ambiguity is preserved in the English.
  8. 8 ↩indulca (rare verb) rendered as 'sweeten' to capture the sensory metaphor of bitterness relieved by divine sweetness.
  9. 9 ↩Et at sentence start treated as continuative/additive, rendered as 'And' to carry the prayer's ongoing flow.
  10. 10 ↩The language echoes Psalm 37:5 (Vulgate) / Psalm 38:4 — 'Iniquitates meae supergressae sunt caput meum' — and the pit imagery recalls Psalm 68:16 (Vulgate) / Psalm 69:15. Candidate allusions pending Moses resolution.
  11. 11 ↩hanc imaginem tuam — 'this image of yours' — retains the demonstrative hanc, pointing to the specific image God intended in creating the speaker. The image of God (imago Dei) is the referent.
  12. 12 ↩eam refers back to the image of God (imago) in the previous sentence. The renewal and reformation of the divine image in the soul is the theological referent.
  13. 13 ↩The closing clause (credo ut intelligam) echoes Anselm's Proslogion 1 and the Augustinian epistemological principle that faith precedes understanding. The translation preserves the purpose-clause structure (ut + subjunctive) to keep the logical direction intact: belief is the means, understanding the goal.
  14. 14 ↩The correlative tanto...quantum construction (ablative of degree of difference) is rendered as 'as different as the difference between' to preserve the force of the comparison.
  15. 15 ↩salus is rendered as 'salvation' in both instances, preserving the wordplay between created salvation and the divine source of all salvation.
  16. 16 ↩The exclamatory 'O' is retained as a natural devotional interjection. The generic relative 'qui...fruetur' is rendered as 'the one who will enjoy' to preserve the open, inviting force.
  17. 17 ↩The tripartite 'nec auris audivit, nec oculus vidit, nec cor hominis cogitavit' strongly echoes 1 Corinthians 2:9 (Vulgate: 'nec oculus vidit, nec auris audivit, nec in cor hominis ascendit'). Candidate allusion flagged for Moses resolution.
  18. 18 ↩Salus rendered 'salvation' here carries both the sense of deliverance and of health/wholeness (sanitas), tying the earthly desire for health to its eternal fulfillment.
  19. 19 ↩Possible allusion to Psalm 16:15 (Vulgate 15:15): 'I shall be satisfied when your glory appears.' Final resolution deferred to tx-08.
  20. 20 ↩Possible allusion to Psalm 35:9 (Vulgate 36:9): 'They will be intoxicated by the abundance of your house.' Final resolution deferred to tx-08.
  21. 21 ↩Possible allusion to Psalm 35:9 (Vulgate 36:9): 'De torrente voluptatis tuae potabis eos.' Final resolution deferred to tx-08.
  22. 22 ↩The reciprocal structure — they love God and each other per illum; God loves himself and them per seipsum — expresses the Augustinian idea that all rightly ordered love is mediated through God. The reflexive pronouns (se, seipsum) create a dense chain that resists smooth English; the translation preserves the logical relationships at the cost of some repetition.
  23. 23 ↩The phrase 'with all their heart, all their mind, and all their soul' echoes the Shema (Deut 6:5) and Jesus' summary of the greatest commandment (Matt 22:37, Mark 12:30). Status: candidate, pending Moses resolution.
  24. 24 ↩The ut clause is rendered as purpose ('so that'), which best fits the hortatory context; a result reading is also possible.
  25. 25 ↩Amor rendered as 'love' per lexeme policy (amor → love). Gaudium rendered as 'joy' to preserve the eschatological contrast between present hope and future fulfillment.
  26. 26 ↩Imo is rendered 'no' to capture the corrective/intensifying force: God does more than command; he counsels. The ut clause with subjunctive sit is taken as result, yielding 'so that our joy may be full.'
  27. 27 ↩Admirabilem consiliarium tuum ('your wonderful Counselor') echoes Isaiah 9:6 (Vulgate). The double ut clauses are purpose clauses with subjunctives. Quod introduces the object clauses of accipiam and promittis.
  28. 28 ↩The jussive subjunctives (meditetur, loquatur, amet, sermocinetur, esuriat, sitiat, desideret) are rendered with 'let' to preserve the optative force. Illud ('that') is rendered 'you' for natural English, since the referent is God. Donec with subjunctive intrem is temporal: 'until I enter.' Trinus et unus Deus is the doxological formula 'triune and one God.' In saecula saeculorum is rendered 'forever and ever' per standard doxological English.

Orationes sive Meditationes — Collection for Princess Adeliza of Normandy companion

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