ORATIO LXXV [ol. LXXIV]. PRAELATI AD QUEMCUNQUE SANCTUM ECCLESIAE SUAE PATRONUM.
The Unworthy Vicar's Lament
The speaker addresses his patron saint with reverent titles, then confesses his profound unworthiness for the episcopal office, lamenting the gap between his title and his inner reality.
Holy N., Devout N., Blessed N., One of God's glorious apostles, one of God's blessed friends — that sinner, that needy one, that one who is yours, though unworthy, though unfit, though altogether unsuitable as a vicar — returns to you again and again, uncertain, ignorant, anxious about your people, about your congregation, and about his own peril. I — that is, a useless person, adorned with no good qualities, but darkened by deep ignorance, deformed by countless vices, weighed down by immense sins — I, I say, whom God and you after God — I don't know whether you commanded or permitted it — to be called a rector in the Church established under you as patron, under you as guardian, under your name — anxious about me and about what's been entrusted to me, I ask you as my counselor, I beg you as my helper, I look to you in all things as the one who works on my behalf. For I am called a master, but I don't know how to be one; I am named a pastor, but I am unable to be one; I am called a bishop, but I am not one. For they see me sitting where the bishop sits, but I see myself not doing what the bishop does; they watch me proceeding as a bishop does, but I observe myself not living as a bishop does; they show me the honors of a bishop, but I do not show them the character of a bishop. I have not yet lived the life of a good layman, and yet they expect from me how clerics should live.
What Have I Done? — A Cry of Compunction
The speaker cries out in self-abasement before God and his patron, questioning his own presumption, then pleads that the saint supply what he lacks as teacher, leader, and ruler.
What have I done, little man, worm and rottenness that I am? What have I done? What have I presumed? What have I consented to? No — it is you, O God, and you, Saint N.1 His apostle, what have you done? For you did this — whether by commanding or by permitting. Therefore you, who by whatever means have done this, act — you by praying, you by giving — so that what you have done may harm neither me nor anyone, but may profit me and many: you who have made an unknowing man a teacher, a blind man a leader, a wandering man a ruler — teach the one you established as teacher, lead the one you placed as leader, rule the one you granted as ruler. Teach me, I beg, what I should teach; lead me where I should lead; rule me so that I may rule. No — rather, teach them, and me in them; lead them, and me with them; rule them, and me among them.
Yours, Not Mine — Surrender to Christ the Shepherd
The speaker declares that both he and his flock belong to Christ, who made and redeemed them, and asks that the patron saint intercede so that the sinner's prayer may be heard.
Jesus, good Lord, they are not mine but yours; for I am not my own, but yours. I am yours, Lord, and they are yours; because you made me and them by your wisdom, and bought them and me with your own life.2 Yours we are, good Lord, yours we are — those you made so wisely and bought so dearly. If you entrust them to me, Lord, don't therefore abandon me — or them. You commend them to me; I commend myself and them to you. Yours is the flock, Lord, and yours the shepherd; be the shepherd of your flock and of your shepherd. Lord, through the merits of blessed N.—3 — your friend, hear the prayer of your sinner. Make him, Lord, be anxious for us — the advocate you gave us; let us feel him praying for us, through whom we daily plead for your help.
The Advocate Before the Savior
The speaker asks that the saint's merits outweigh his own sins, then entreats the blessed one as his intercessor, acknowledging that he governs God's Church before he has learned to govern his own soul.
Let us obtain through him your grace, through whom we implore your majesty every day; him, Lord, we confess as our advocate, through him let us perceive you as our Savior: may our demerits not prevail, Lord, over his merits, but may our sins be destroyed by his prayers. And you, O blessed one, O holy N. You are my advocate; be my intercessor before the Lord. I ask you, entreat him; I seek from you, obtain from him. Bring my prayer to him, and bring his answer back to me. Through you let my distress be made known to him, and through you let his consolation be given back to me: show him my danger, and offer me his help. I undertook to govern the Church of God under you, though I have not yet begun to govern my own soul. Fearful about myself, I am therefore compelled to be anxious for others.
Burdened Yet Burdening Others
The speaker confesses he is weighed down by his own sins yet commanded to lift up others, and begs the saint to act on his behalf since God owes more and is able more than he.
Weighed down by the weight of my own sins, I am ordered to raise up others; bent under the burden of my crimes, I am required to lift them up. Therefore, holy, blessed, and devout N. , acknowledge me as your vicar, such as I am, so that your counsel may always go before me and your help may follow, to govern myself and the flock entrusted to me. For they were entrusted to you before they were to me; and when they were entrusted to me, they were not released from you — rather, I am the one more strictly entrusted. So then, whatever is enjoined on me concerning them, you act on my behalf and theirs; do for me what I am enjoined to do for you; do, Lord, what I am enjoined to do for you; do, Lord, do for me, because you see that I neither know nor am able, for you; indeed, do not me, but for you; because it pertains first and more to you than to me; and if anything pertains to me, it comes after you and under you.4 You therefore, Lord, you owe more, you know more, you are able more than I am — you act rather than I. Let the care I have undertaken for them not burden me, Lord, because the load of my own sins weighs me down enough. Let them not burden me, because I myself am too heavy a weight for myself; indeed, I burden myself far too much — there is no need for others to burden me as well.
Do Not Let My Sin Drag Them Down
The speaker begs that his own sins not harm those entrusted to him, invokes the patron saint's power to lift and carry them both, and closes with a doxological prayer for mutual salvation and eternal praise.
But don't let my burden weigh them down, don't let my sin hold them back, don't let my evil harm them — may my wrongs not hurt them, when my good deeds ought to help them; don't let them be hindered by me, Lord, when I should have advanced them; and may I not be a burden to them, when I should have been of benefit: my own offenses are more than enough for me — let not the sins of others drag me down with them. It's already too much if my own sins condemn me — let them not drag others down with me. But you, holy N.— — apostle of God, you who have the power: lift me up, and lift them up; carry me, and carry them; excuse me, and excuse them; help us both; guide and protect us both — so that I may rejoice in their salvation, and they in mine, and together we may always praise our good Lord Jesus Christ, with you, who is blessed God, and you, his blessed apostle, forever. So be it, so be it. Amen.
Read the original Latin
Sancte N. pie N. beate N. unus de gloriosis apostolis Dei, unus de beatis amicis Dei; iste peccator, iste indigens, iste tuus, licet indignus, licet ineptus, licet nimis inconveniens vicarius, iterum et iterum redit ad te dubius, nescius, sollicitus de populo tuo, de congregatione tua, et de periculo suo. Ego, scilicet inutilis persona, nullis bonis ornata, sed profunda ignorantia tenebrata, innumeris vitiis deformata, immensis peccatis onerata; ego, inquam, quem Deus et tu post Deum, nescio an jussistis, an permisistis rectorem vocari in Ecclesia sub te advocato, sub te tutore, sub tuo nomine constituta, anxius de me et de mihi commissis, te rogo consultorem, te precor adjutorem, te exspecto per omnia pro me operatorem. Magister enim vocor, sed esse nescio; pastor nominor, sed esse nequeo; episcopus dicor, sed non sum. Vident enim me sedere ubi sedet episcopus, sed ego video me non facere quod episcopus facit; aspiciunt me procedere sicut episcopum, sed ego aspicio me non vivere sicut episcopum; exhibent mihi honores episcopi, sed ego non ostendo eis mores episcopi. Nondum duxi vitam boni laici, et de me exspectant quomodo vivant clerici.
Quid feci, homuncio, vermis et putredo? Quid feci? quid praesumpsi? quid consensi? Imo tu, Deus, et tu N. apostole ejus, quid fecistis: vos enim hoc fecistis, sive jubendo, sive permittendo. Vos ergo, qui quoquo modo fecistis, facite, tu orando, tu donando, ut nec mihi, nec ulli obsit; sed mihi et multis prosit quod fecistis: vos qui fecistis nescium doctorem, caecum ductorem, errantem rectorem; docete quem doctorem statuistis, ducite quem ductorem posuistis, regite quem rectorem concessistis. Docete, obsecro, quid doceam, ducite quo ducam, regite ut regam; imo docete illos, et me in illis; ducite illos, et me cum illis; regite eos, et me inter eos.
Jesu, bone Domine, non sunt illi mei, sed sunt tui; quia nec ego sum meus, sed tuus. Tuus sum, Domine, et tui sunt; quia tu me, et eos sapientia tua fecisti, et anima tua emisti. Tui ergo sumus, bone Domine, tui sumus; quos tam sapienter fecisti, et tam care emisti. Si ergo mihi commendas eos, Domine, non ideo deseras me, vel eos: commendas eos mihi, commendo me et eos tibi. Tuus est, Domine, grex, et tuus pastor; tui gregis et pastoris esto pastor. Domine, per merita beati N. amici tui, exaudi orationem peccatoris tui. Fac, Domine, ipsum sollicitum esse pro nobis, quem advocatum dedisti nobis; ipsum pro nobis orare sentiamus, per quem auxilium tuum nobis quotidie flagitamus.
Impetremus per ipsum gratiam tuam, per quem imploramus quotidie majestatem tuam; illum, Domine, fatemur advocatum nostrum, per illum sentiamus te Salvatorem nostrum: ne praevaleant, Domine, demerita nostra meritis ipsius; sed deleantur peccata nostra precibus ejus. Et tu, o beate, o sancte N. , tu es advocatus meus, tu esto ad Dominum intercessor meus. Oro te, exora eum; peto a te, impetra ab eo. Defer illi meam orationem, et refer mihi ejus exauditionem. Per te illi angustia mea intimetur, et per te mihi consolatio ejus redonetur: ostende illi meum periculum, et exhibe mihi ejus auxilium. Ecclesiam enim Dei sub te regere suscepi, qui animam meam nondum regere incoepi. De meipso ergo timidus, de aliis cogor esse sollicitus.
Gravatus pondere peccatorum, alios jubeor relevare; incurvatus pondere criminum, alios exigor erigere. Ergo sancte, beate ac pie N. , recognosce me qualemcunque vicarium tuum, ut semper me praeveniat consilium tuum, et subsequatur auxilium tuum ad regendum meipsum, et gregem mihi commissum. Prius enim sunt commissi tibi quam mihi: et cum mihi sunt commissi, non sunt a te dimissi, sed ego magis commissus. Quod ergo mihi injunctum est de illis, tu fac de me et de illis; fac pro me quod mihi injunctum est facere pro te; fac, Domine, quod mihi injunctum est facere pro te; fac, Domine, fac pro me, quia tu vides me nec scire, nec posse, pro te; imo fac non me, sed pro te; quia prius et magis pertinet ad te, quam ad me; et si quid ad me, hoc est post te, et sub te. Tu ergo, Domine, tu plus debes, plus scis, plus potes quam ego, tu potius fac, quam ego. Non me gravet, Domine, suscepta cura eorum, quia satis me gravata sarcina peccatorum meorum. Non me gravent illi, quia ego ipse nimis sum gravis mihi; nimis certe ipse me gravo, non est opus ut alii me gravent.
Sed nec eos gravet onus meum, nec impediat eos peccatum meum, nec noceat illis malum meum, non obsint illis mala mea, quibus prodesse debent bona mea, non me impediant, Domine, de quibus proficere debui; nec illis obsim, quibus prodesse debui: nimis enim sufficiunt mihi delicta mea, non trahant me aliena secum. Nimis mihi est, si me damnant peccata mea; non involvant alios mecum. Sed tu, o sancte N. , apostole Dei, tu qui potes, subleva me, et eos; porta me, et illos; excusa me, et illos; adjuva utrosque; rege, et protege utrosque: ut et ego gaudens de illorum salute mecum, et illi de mea secum, semper laudemus nostrum bonum Dominum Jesum Christum, tecum, qui sit benedictus Deus, et tu benedictus apostolus ejus in aeternum. Fiat, fiat. Amen.
Notes
- 1 ↩N. is an abbreviation for the name of the patron saint to whom the prayer is addressed; the specific referent is left open in the source.
- 2 ↩anima rendered as 'life' in the sense of Christ's life given as the price of redemption; could also carry the sense of 'soul' or 'life-blood.'
- 3 ↩N. is an abbreviated proper name standing for the patron saint of the church in question.
- 4 ↩The repeated 'fac ... pro te' construction plays on the ambiguity of doing something 'on behalf of' versus 'in the place of' the other; the prayer asks God to act where the speaker cannot.
Orationes sive Meditationes — Collection for Princess Adeliza of Normandy companion
There are 90 more prayers where these came from
Chosen Portion delivers the full Anselm collection — and the wider royal devotional archive — one daily prayer at a time, free.
Anselm told Adeliza to take these prayers a little at a time, and Chosen Portion does exactly that — serving the collection as paced daily portions rather than a book to skim.
- Pray through all 97 of Anselm's prayers and meditations, one portion each day
- Each prayer is broken into short sections so a 100-sentence meditation fits a 10-minute sitting
- Morning reminder at your chosen time, so the day starts with a written prayer instead of a blank