ORATIO LXXI. AD SANCTUM MARTINUM. Pro homine in abysso peccatorum existente.
The Sinner's Awakening
The sinner is roused to self-examination, recognizing the vast distance between God's majesty and justice and his own lowliness and sin, yet resolving to lift his soul upward in prayer.
Sinner, little one, you who are so much in need, you who have grieved God too deeply — rouse your mind, turn your attention to your need, and call upon mercy over your misery. My soul, be watchful; my wretched one, awake; my sinful one, cry out to God your anger — if perhaps he may turn his face toward you.✦1 But he is the Most High, and I am the lowest. How will my voice reach him? I will lift my soul above myself, so that it may direct its gaze toward him who is above it — if perhaps, having been called, he may hear it. But he is most just, and I am deeply unjust. How will he hear my cry? I will enter into myself and shut out everything except him and myself; and I will pour out my soul and all that lies within me before him.
The Need for an Intercessor
The sinner acknowledges that his offenses are so immeasurably vast that his own prayer is insufficient and he cannot approach God without a mediator.
I will stir my heart to grief and to the need for pity; I will pour out my troubles before him, if perhaps his great devotion might move him. But my offenses are exceedingly immeasurably vast, exceedingly boundless; it is not enough to come without an intercessor, and my prayer is not acceptable on its own.
Calling Upon Saint Martin
The sinner turns to Saint Martin as intercessor, yet is tormented by the fear that God may turn his face away, and pleads with God not to abhor the one returning to him.
I'll ask someone from among those great friends of God, if perhaps God will hear him on my behalf. I'll call upon Martin, that great confessor whose name has been glorified throughout the world. O Martin. O, if only you yourself would hear me too — you, that great one, O Martin. But if God looks down on me, who looks back at me? If God turns his face away from me, who turns his face toward me?✦ Or if God hates me, who will speak to him on my behalf? Merciful and compassionate God — do you so abhor the one returning to you that you cannot bear to have mercy on anyone who clings to you?
Pleading God's Mercy Through Justice
The sinner argues that if God withholds his ear because he is just, he should not forbid another's prayer because he is merciful, and dares to hope that what is denied for sin will be granted for the merits of God's friend.
Or do you curse one of your own grieving people so completely that on his account you wouldn't listen to any friend of yours? You — I say — who are called kind and merciful, outstanding beyond all malice: do you really burn with such anger against a repentant sinner that you forget what you are?2 For your own sake, either hear me yourself, or grant that someone hear me — someone you would listen to on my behalf. Lord, if you withhold your ear from a sinner, it's because you are just; do not then forbid another's prayer on behalf of this wretched suppliant, because you are merciful. O gracious one, you are more merciful than I can imagine, and I trust I will experience this no less than I dare to hope. So greatly does your servant trust, Lord — created and renewed by your mercy — that this accused one presumes to ask you yourself as his intercessor. For no one will look on me with favor unless you command it; no one will be of any help to me unless you give your assent. And yet I hope that what you deny me because of my sins, you will grant because of the merits of one who is your friend.
The Petition for Martin as Intercessor
Invoking Christ's teaching on prayer, the sinner asks God not to give harmful things in place of good, and specifically requests Martin as his intercessor.
Good Lord, don't show yourself as an avenger toward the very one from whom I seek an intercessor; if you don't give a stone instead of bread, a serpent instead of a fish, a scorpion instead of an egg.✦ Grant me, then, Lord, Martin as my intercessor — that great confessor whose blessed name you have glorified throughout the whole world.
The Fame and Power of Saint Martin
The sinner reflects on Martin's worldwide renown, arguing that his name is spread everywhere so that great good may be poured out, and that his heavenly intercession surpasses his earthly miracles.
Saint Martin, through him I beg you — the one who makes your name venerated throughout the whole world — do not deny your help to one who is needy and pleading. Why are you, Lord, called by everyone throughout the world, unless it is so that you might be the advocate of all who ask? What does it mean that the mouths of all ring with 'My lord, Saint Martin; my lord, Saint Martin,' unless so that they might be able to say, 'My helper, Saint Martin; my helper, Saint Martin'? Why is your name spread everywhere, unless so that through it some great good might be poured out upon the world? Your fame calls me to you; your miracles send me to your intercession; your works draw me to your intercession; your works draw me to your help. But why should I recount your miracles, since your power is greater? Why should I dwell on your works, since your grace towers above before God? Why should I recount the acts of help you bestowed on many, since the spiritual things you can do — dwelling in heaven — are better than the bodily things you did while sojourning on earth?
Martin's Heavenly Gifts
The sinner exhorts Martin not to limit himself to earthly works but to impart spiritual gifts, eternal joys, and heavenly treasures from his place in heaven.
You're not limited to these things only, and powerless before those. No—you're not powerful only in the things that come to nothing, and powerless in the things that lead to eternity. Surely you didn't advance like this only to do these things. You didn't rise so far only to bestow these things. Impart the spiritual gifts you glory in; gladden us with the eternal joys you delight in; pour in the heavenly treasures among which you dwell. Through you, let us in our poverty experience the abundance of those whose overflowing richness you receive in fullness forever.
The Abyss of Sin and the Abundance of Grace
The sinner contrasts the overflowing abundance of God's goodness with the abundance of his own evils, longing for divine fullness to wash away his sins, and expresses confidence that God can obtain this through the beloved judge.
O the overflowing abundance of your good things, and the abundance of my evils. How great is the distance between them? How powerfully that abundance makes you happy; how utterly this one makes me miserable. That one descends from the fullness of God; this one rises from my want. That one flows from God's riches; this one rises from my poverty. O if only the overflowing abundance of that fullness would flood in, to wash away the abundance of my evils! O if only the fullness of that satisfaction would fill the emptiness of my need! I don't doubt, Lord, that you can obtain this for me, if only you are willing to entreat my beloved judge — your own lover — on my behalf.
Weakness and the Hope of Intercession
The sinner confesses his weakness in prayer but finds hope in Martin's presence with his prayers, and asks to be shaken and roused to feel the effect of God's mercy.
Don't wait, Lord, for my persistence to reach your ears, because you know how weak I've been for so long when it comes to prayer.3 I'm quick to fall apart; but you — be even quicker to come to my aid.4 Surely if my heart has been crushed, if my deepest self has been shaken, if my soul has been worn down, if streams have flowed from my eyes for a long time — then I will hope, because Martin is here with my prayers.5 Shake me, then, Lord — holy Martin — shake my spirit, rouse my heart, stir my mind toward the affection it needs, so that I may feel the effect of your mercy according to your power.6
The Soul's Torpor and Darkness
The sinner laments his dormant mind, hardened heart, and overwhelmed soul, asking what holds him back and weighs him down, as his soul longs for God but is bowed under a leaden weight and shrouded in darkness.
But alas! How long my mind lies dormant, how hardened my heart has grown with stupor, how overwhelmed my soul is with numbness! Saint Martin, what is it that holds me back like this? What is it that weighs down my neck like this? Why has my gaze grown so dark? Why is my path so closed in? My soul wants, Lord — yes, wants — to lift its face toward God and toward you, but it is bowed down and weighed under by a leaden weight. It longs to direct its gaze toward you, and yet it is shrouded in dark shadows.
Sin as Prison and Chains
The sinner describes his condition as one of imprisonment and bondage, identifies his sins as the source, and explains how carnal attachment has dulled his taste for spiritual things and shut him out from good.
He tries to free himself, and he's bound in iron chains. He tries to get out, and he's shut inside a bronze prison. What are these things, God? What are these things that darken my soul and weigh it down, shut it in and bind it? Perhaps they are my sins — no, truly, these are my sins.7 Certainly they are. Carnal attachment has dulled in me the taste for spiritual things; a mind bent on what is lowest has curved my soul away from the sight of what is above; love of earthly things has put out in me the delight of heavenly things; through the practice of vice the sense of what is truly good has vanished in me.8910 I've been pulled away from those good things, absorbed in these evils, shut out from those, locked inside these; rolled away from those, wrapped up in these.11 That's the source of this prison and these chains.
The Abyss of Sins and the Abyss of Judgment
The sinner declares that his sins are the source of his darkness and weight, addresses his sins directly as captors, and sees no escape except to the strict judge, the prison of hell, and everlasting chains, with the day of reckoning near.
This is the source of those darknesses and crushing weights. My sins — you who keep me in these chains and this prison, under this darkness and this weight — to whom can I turn? To whom can I turn, except to the strict judge, and to your torturers, and to eternal torments? To whom, except to the prison of hell, and to everlasting chains? To whom, except to the perpetual darkness of night, and to the unceasing weight of death? Surely by these evils you keep me, and toward these evils you drag me. Truly I will be wrapped in these, if you don't first set me free. Truly I will be the hopeless slave of these, if I am not first freed from you. Surely that day is near — near, I say — and yet unknown.
The Nearness of Death
The sinner warns that the day of reckoning comes suddenly and may be today.
It comes suddenly, and perhaps it will be today.
Self-Betrayal and Madness
The sinner accuses himself of betraying himself by entrusting himself to sin, recognizing that he was not deceived by sin but deceived himself, acting with dreadful blindness.
My sins — were they really going to be so harmful, when you were steeping my soul in your sweetness, when you were anointing my heart with your pleasure? Why were you hiding these things from me? Why were you betraying me? No — it wasn't you who betrayed me, but I betrayed myself, because I entrusted myself to you. You didn't deceive me; I deceived myself, because I took you into my own heart. O unheard-of madness! I knew there was no faithfulness in you, and yet I put my trust in you. No — I didn't put my trust in you, nor did I entrust myself to you; but in some dreadful way, seeing yet blind, I handed myself over to you.
The Foulness of Willing Sin
The sinner reflects that he sinned seeing and knowing, distinguishes the ordained nature of torment from the inherent foulness of sin, and argues that sin is worse than eternal torment because it carries its own foulness and perverts the creature-Creator relationship.
I was seeing, because I knew you, and I knew what evils follow you; I was blind, because I did not beware of those I already knew. Alas, sin — a name to shudder at, a thing detestable, comparable to no evil whatsoever! The blind person does not see the pit into which they fall; the fool thinks they ought to do what they do. But the one who sins willingly, seeing and knowing, surrenders themselves headlong. Death and whatever torments there may be are only torments; nor are they foul in themselves, because they are ordained. Sin in itself carries its own foulness, and with it draws eternal misery along. Therefore it would have been better to choose eternal torment — which does not, through itself, attract eternal foulness — than sin, which joins eternal sorrows to its own foulness. And surely, O wretched person, the foulness of sin alone ought to have been more feared by you than any enormity of torments. For in sinning you placed yourself before God your Creator with the most foul perversity — than whom nothing is more unjust — whereas in the endurance of torments, the creature would subject itself to its Maker in the most beautiful order, than which nothing is more just.
The Abyss of Sins Within
The sinner laments that he has become a slave to sin, cast himself into a bottomless abyss, and faces a triple abyss of prison, chains, darkness, and burdens that threatens to bury him.
O man, what has become of your humanity? You had learned that whoever commits sin is a slave to sin, and that you might become a slave to so great an evil, you committed sin.✦ You knew that you are a spirit going forth and not returning, and you cast yourself into an abyss of sin from which there is no way back and which has no bottom. Truly my sins are an abyss, because they are incomprehensible in weight and depth, and immeasurable in number and immensity.✦ This abyss is irretrievable, because no one returns from it unless drawn back by grace, and it is bottomless, because whoever sins willingly deserves to fall into infinity, if not held back by mercy. O abyss — my sins call forth an abyss!✦ The torments by which you keep me, O abysses, are also an abyss, because they are infinite and altogether incomprehensible. Woe — the prison and chains, the darkness and the burdens of sins terrified me; but I have become a slave to an evil like no other, and so I am submerged in an abyss, and with this grievous servitude and abyss, I am to be buried in yet another abyss.
The Three Abysses: Sin, Torments, and God's Judgments
The sinner heaps woe upon woe, declaring that God's hidden judgments constitute a third abyss more terrible than his sins or torments, since they are beyond all human understanding.
Woe upon woe — fear heaped on fear; grief piled on grief. Behold a third abyss, and it is itself exceedingly terrible: the judgments of God are a vast abyss; perhaps in the voice of these cataracts — my abyss calls to the abyss. Hidden are the cataracts, hidden are the judgments of God: an abyss is driven forward — an abyss calls in the voice of the cataracts of God — because the abyss of sins deserves the abyss of torments, in that the judgments of God proclaim it. Even if my sins were not an abyss to be feared, the abyss of God's judgments would still be greatly to be dreaded — since they are hidden beyond all human understanding.
Surrounded by Abysses
The sinner enumerates the abysses above, below, and within him, fearing that the abyss of judgment will rush down and overwhelm him into the abyss of hell where sins will eternally hold torments.
Now then: God's judgments are an abyss, my sins are an abyss, the debts I owe are an abyss of torments, the mouth of judgment is an abyss over me, the abyss of the underworld is an abyss beneath me, the abyss of sins is the one I'm in — and it's within me.12 I fear the one that threatens from above, lest it rush down on me and overwhelm me — me and my own abyss — into the one that gapes open below, where torments will never be destroyed by sins, but sins will always hold torments.1314
Lost in the Depths
The sinner cries out in anguish, asking where he has ended up and how far he has strayed, and wonders who can search for him in the abyss or hear his cry from its depths.
Wretched one — against whom have I sinned? Where have I ended up? How far have I wandered from God? Where am I now — lost, far from him? Who will search for me in this abyss, surrounded as I am by abysses? Or who will find one of God's own, lost as he is? Or who, standing outside the abyss of sins, can hear the cry that rises from their depths?✦ But you, O Lord — you who behold the abysses — you see how far I've strayed from your Spirit, and how far I've fled from your presence.
God Who Sees in the Depths
The sinner finds hope in the truth that God is present even in hell, sees him in the abyss of his sins, and has already stirred him to repentance and directed him to an intercessor — yet still cries out from the depths.
Surely you're not absent where I still am; because even if I descend into hell, you are there.✦ And if I wickedly fled from you, and damnably hid myself in the abyss of my own sins — you see me there too. For who, if not you, stirs my soul to repentance? Or how do you stir her, if you do not see her in the depths of her own abyss? Good Lord, you knocked and stirred her up in the abyss of her sins, like someone sleeping on a bed. You shook the one who was numb; you roused the one who was careless; you made her repentant where she once rejoiced, and grieving where she once delighted. You counseled her to seek an intercessor; you presented him to her. Good God, you did all these things in the abyss; and yet you do not hear the one crying out from the abyss?✦
God Who Began Will Complete
The sinner appeals to God to finish what he began, since he went ahead of his fugitive and should follow when he turns back.
You have done all this by going ahead of your fugitive; and will you not follow when he turns back to you, so that you may finish what you began?1516
Thanksgiving and Petition for Deliverance
The sinner thanks God for seeking and finding him in the abyss, prays for deliverance through Martin's merits, and confesses that though God commands him to return, he is too bound and burdened to do so.
Good Lord, I thank you. Truly you sought your lost one in the abyss, and you found the one you had so terrified with the weight of his sins. Through the merits of your beloved Saint Martin, bring back from the abyss of sinners the one you sought and found, your lost one. Do not lose your found one any further. Do not let him be lost in the abyss of hell, where you find no one — the servant you sought and found. I hear, Lord, that you command me to return, but I am miserably bound and burdened by too great a weight — I cannot get out.
Appeal to Martin's Direct Intercession
The sinner asks why he should pray to God through Martin's merits when Martin himself stands before God, and begs Martin to stand before God not to defend him but to pray for him, while he himself accuses rather than excuses his sins.
But, holy Martin, why do I pray to God through your merits, when you can do this better yourself, standing as you do before him? I beg you, Lord, for the sake of his name—don't turn away from the servant he has now looked upon, guilty though he is. Stand with me, I ask, before God—not to defend me, but to pray for me. For my sins before him I don't defend, but lay bare; I don't excuse, but accuse. I am the guilty one; I myself, under that very one and on his behalf, am my own accuser.
Hope in the Judge Who Saves
The sinner expresses hope that God as Creator and Lord will protect and save his own servant, questions how God could condemn one who grieves and flees to a friendly intercessor, and entrusts his soul to both God and Martin.
Don't let the One who made me accuse me; I've been enough on my own to sin, and I'll be enough on my own to accuse myself. After all, if the judge is there to pass sentence on his own guilty one, the Lord is also there to protect his own servant; the Creator is also there to preserve his own work; and God is there to save his own believing and baptized one. Or how will He judge the sinner as one who despises Him — this sinner who knows himself to be wretched because of his sins, and confesses it in repentance? Or how will He condemn the sinner as an adversary — this sinner who grieves that he has sinned, and flees to so friendly an intercessor on his behalf? God, in you I place my hope.✦ Holy Martin, to you I entrust my prayer. Before you both I cast my anxiety; or rather, to you I cast my soul — which is precisely what you demand of me more than anything, you by commanding, you by counseling. Receive her, cast before you; hold her, prostrate before you. Lead her back from the abyss of sins — her whom you sought and found lost, lest you lose her now that she has been found.
Final Commendation and Amen
The sinner commends his soul to God's keeping through Martin's intercession and the merits of the beloved confessor, and seals the prayer with Amen.
Guard her while I sleep; keep her safe while I'm doing other things; watch over her while I'm thinking of other things: you, by your intercession, you, by your pleading on my behalf, you, through the merits of your so beloved confessor, you, for the name of your Creator and mine, who is blessed forever. Amen.
Read the original Latin
Peccator homuncule, tu multum indigens, tu qui nimis Deum contristasti, excita mentem tuam, intende in necessitatem tuam, et invoca misericordiam super miseriam tuam. Anima mea, evigila; misera mea, expergiscere, scelerata mea, clama ad Deum iratum tuum, si forte migitet super te vultum suum. Sed altissimus est, et infimus sum. Quomodo attinget vox mea ad illum? Levabo super me animam meam, ut intendat in eum qui est super eam si forte vocatus audiat eam. Sed utique justissimus est, et nimis iniquus sum. Quomodo audiet clamorem meum? Intrabo intra meipsum, excludam omnia, praeter illum et meipsum; et effundam animam meam et quae intra me sunt ante ipsum.
Excitabo ut dolens et dolendus affectum meum; expandam aerumnas meas ante eum, si forte illa sua magna pietas moveat eum. Sed nimis immensa, nimis infinita sunt delicta mea; non sufficit sine intercessore, nec susceptibilis est oratio mea.
Rogabo aliquem de illis magnis familiaribus Dei, si forte illum audiat pro me Deus. Vocabo Martinum illum magnum confessorem, cujus nomen glorificatum est per orbem. Martine. O si et ipse me audies; tu ille, magne Martine. Sed si Deus me despicit, quis me respicit. Si Deus faciem suam a me avertit, quis suam ad me convertit? Aut si Deus odit me, quem audit pro me? Misericors et miserator Deus, an sic detestaris ad te revertentem, ut pati non possis misereri ejus ullum tibi adhaerentem?
aut tantum exsecraris unum dolentem tuum, ut propter eum non audias ullum amicum tuum? Tu, inquam, qui benignus et misericors praestabilis super malitiam vocaris, an ita exardescis in peccatorem poenitentem, ut quod es obliviscaris? Propter temetipsum aut audi me, aut concede aliquem audire me, quem audias pro me. Domine, si contines a peccatore auditum tuum, quia justus es; vel ne prohibeas alienum auditum a misero supplicante, quia pius es. Benigne, plus es clemens quam possum cogitare, non minus hoc sentiam quam praesumo sperare. Tantum confidit, Domine, de tua pietate creatus et recreatus a te servus tuus, ut te petere praesumat intercessorem reus tuus. Nullus enim me respiciet, nisi te jubente: nullus mihi proderit, nisi te annuente. Et tamen spero ut quod mihi propter peccata mea negas, propter alicujus familiaris tui merita concedas.
Bone, ne te ultorem exhibeas, a quo peto interventorem; si non das pro pane lapidem, pro pisce serpentem, pro ovo scorpionem. Da ergo, Domine, mihi intercessorem Martinum illum magnum confessorem, cujus per totum mundum beatum glorificasti nomen.
Sancte Martine, per illum te precor, qui totum mundum venerari facit nomen tuum, ne deneges indigenti et supplicanti auxilium tuum. Cur es, domine, per orbem ab omnibus vocatus, nisi ut omnium rogantium sis advocatus? Ad quid sonat in ore omnium: Dominus meus sanctus Martinus; dominus meus sanctus Martinus, nisi ut dicere possint: Adjutor meus sanctus Martinus; adjutor meus sanctus Martinus? Ut quid est ubique nomen tuum diffusum, nisi ut mundo per hoc sit aliquod magnum bonum infusum? Fama tua vocat me ad te, miracula tua mittunt me ad intercessionem tuam, opera tua trahunt me ad intercessionem tuam, opera tua trahunt me ad auxilium tuum. Sed quare narrem miracula tua, cum major sit potentia tua? Ut quid retractem opera tua, cum superemineat apud Deum gratia tua? Cur recitem subventiones, quas multis impendisti, cum meliora sint spiritualia quae potes, quam corporalia quae in coelo habitans facis, et in terra peregrinans fecisti?
Non enim ista solum potes, et illa non potes. Non, inquam, in his solis es potens quae ad nihilum deveniunt, et in illis impotens, quae ad aeternitatem proveniunt. Nempe non ad haec tantummodo facienda sic profecisti. Non ad ista solummodo tribuenda tantum ascendisti. Spiritualia impartire, quibus gloriaris; aeternis laetifica, quibus laetaris; celestia infunde, in quibus conversaris. Illorum per te sentiamus indigentes exundantiam, quorum perpetuam plenus suscipis inundantiam.
O bonorum tuorum inundantia, et malorum meorum abundantia. Quanta est eo um distantia? quam vehementer illa te facit felicem; quam nimis ista me infelicem? Illa ex plenitudine Dei descendit; ista ex indigentia mea ascendit. Illa fluit ex Dei copia, ista surgit ex mea inopia. O si illius inundantiae exundantia inundabit, ut diluat malorum meorum abundantiam! O si plenitudo illius satietatis replebit vacuitatem meae egestatis! Non dubito, domine, te hoc mihi impetrare, si tantum velis pro me judicem meum dilectum dilectorem tuum exorare.
Ne exspectes, Domine, ad exaudiendum meam importunitatem; quia tu scis ad orandum diu meam imbecillitatem. Velox enim sum ad deficiendum; sed esto tu velocior ad subveniendum. Certe si cor meum contritum fuerit, si viscera mea commota fuerint, si liquefacta fuerit anima mea, si rivi diu fluxerint ab oculis meis; tunc sperabo quia Martinus adest precibus meis. Concute ergo, domine sancte Martine, concute spiritum meum, excita cor meum, commove mentem meam ad affectum secundum necessitatem suam, ut sentiam miserationis tuae effectum secundum potentiam tuam.
Sed heu! quanto tempore languet mens mea, quanto stupore induratum est cor meum, quanto torpore obruitur anima mea? Sancte Martine, quid est quod sic me impedit? Quid est quod cervicem meam sic premit? Unde sic tenebratur intuitus meus? Unde sic clauditur circuitus meus? Vult, domine, vult ad Deum et ad te anima mea erigere faciem suam, et plumbeo pondere curvata gravatur. Cupit in vos dirigere intuitum suum, et caliginosis tenebris obscuratur.
Conatur se expedire, et ferreis catenis astringitur. Tentat exire, et aeneo carcere clauditur. Quid sunt ista, Deus, quid sunt ista, quae sic animam meam obtenebrant et gravant, claudunt et ligant? Forsan quae sunt peccata mea; imo vere haec sunt peccata mea. Certe haec sunt. Affectus carnalis infatuavit in me saporem spiritualium; intentio infimorum incurvavit animam meam ab intuitu supernorum; amor terrestrium exstinxit in me delectationem coelestium; usu vitiorum evanuit in me sensus verorum bonorum. Ab illis bonis sum elongatus, in his malis occupatus, seclusus ab illis, inclusus in istis; ab illis devolutus, in istis obvolutus. Hinc est ille carcer et vincula.
Hinc sunt illae tenebrae et pondera.
Peccata mea, cui servatis in his vinculis et hoc carcere, sub his tenebris et hoc pondere? Cui nisi districto judici, et tortoribus vestris, et tormentis aeternis? Cui, nisi carceri inferni, et vinculis sempiternis? Cui, nisi caligini perpetuae noctis, et ponderi indesinentis mortis? Certe his malis me servatis, ad haec mala me trahitis. Certe in his ero obvolutus, si prius a vobis non fuero solutus. Vere horum illiberabilis servus ero, si liber a vobis prius non fuero. Utique prope est dies illa, prope, inquam, est et incognita.
Subito venit, et forsitan hodie erit.
Delicta mea, an eratis tam noxia futura, cum animam meam vestra dulcedine potabatis, cum cor meum vestra voluptate ungebatis? Cur haec me celabatis? Cur me tradebatis? Imo non vos me tradidistis, sed ego me tradidi, qui vobis credidi. Non vos me decepistis; sed ego me decepi, qui vos intra me suscepi. O inaudita insania! sciebam in vobis non esse fidem, et tamen habui vobis fidem. Imo non habui fidem, nec credidi vobis; sed quodam horribili modo videns, caecus commisi me vobis.
Videns eram, quia vos cognoscebam, et quae mala vos sequuntur, sciebam; caecus eram, quia non a notis cavebam. Heu peccatum, nomen horrendum, res detestabilis, nulli malo comparabilis! Caecus non videt foveam, in quam cadit; insanus putat se debere facere quod facit: qui autem sponte peccat, videns et sciens praecipitio se tradit. Mors et tormenta quaelibet, tormenta tantum sunt; nec in se foeda sunt, quia ordinata sunt. Peccatum in se habet suam foeditatem, et secum trahit aeternam infelicitatem. Melius ergo erat eligere tormentum aeternum quod per se foeditatem aeternam non attrahit, quam peccatum quod cum foeditate sua dolores aeternos jungit. Et certe, o miser homo, ipsa sola plus tibi vitanda erat peccati foeditas, quam quaelibet tormentorum immanitas. Quippe in peccando foedissima perversitate praeposuisti te Deo Creatori tuo, quo nihil injustius: in tolerantia tormentorum ordine pulcherrimo subjiceret se factura suo factori, quo nihil est justius.
O homo, quo evanuit humanitas tua? Didiceras quoniam qui facit peccatum, servus est peccati; et ut tanti mali servus esses, peccatum fecisti. Sciebas quia spiritus es vadens et non rediens; et in peccati abyssum irremeabilem et sine fundo te jecisti. Vere abyssus sunt peccata mea, quia incomprehensibilia sunt pondere et profunditate; et inaestimabilia sunt numero et immensitate. Quae abyssus irremeabilis est, quia nullus inde redit, nisi per gratiam retrahatur; et sine fundo, quia qui sponte peccat, merito in infinitum cadit, si non per misericordiam retineatur. O abyssus abyssum invocat peccata mea! tormenta quoque, quibus me servatis, abyssus sunt; quia infinita et omnino incomprehensibilia sunt. Vae, carcer et vincula, tenebrae et pondera peccatorum terrebant me; sed mali nulli malo comparabilis servus factus sum: et sic in abyssum mersus sum, et cum hac dolenda servitute, et abysso, in alteram abyssum sepeliendus sum.
Vae super vae timor super timorem; dolor super dolorem. Ecce tertia abyssus, et ipsa nimis terribilis: judicia Dei abyssus multa; forsan in voce harum cataractarum abyssus mea abyssum invocat. Cataractae occultae sunt, judicia Dei occulta sunt: abyssus agitur abyssum in voce cataractarum Dei invocat, quia peccatorum abyssus tormentorum abyssum meretur, quod judicia Dei pronuntiant. Si peccata mea non essent abyssus, timenda tamen multum erat judiciorum Dei abyssus multa; quoniam supra humanum sensum sunt occulta.
Nunc ergo judicia Dei abyssus, peccata mea abyssus, debita mihi tormenta abyssus, abyssus judiciorum os super me, abyssus inferni subtus me, abyssus peccatorum in qua sum, et ipsa intra me. Illam quae supra imminet timeo, ne in me irruat, et me cum abysso mea in illam, quae subtus patet, obruat, ubi tormenta nunquam peccata delebunt; sed peccata semper tormenta tenebunt.
Miser, cui peccavi? quo deveni? quo abii a Deo? ubi perditus sum ab eo? Quis me in abysso inter abyssos quaeret? Aut perditum Dei quis inveniet? aut quis extra abyssum peccatorum audit clamantem de profundo eorum? Sed, o tu Domine, qui intueris abyssos, quo ivi a spiritu tuo, et quo fugi a facie tua?
Certe non ubi adhuc sum, abes; quia et si descendero, in infernum ades. Et si ego nequiter fugi te, et in abysso mea damnabiliter abscondi me; ubi quoque vides me. Quis enim, nisi tu, ad poenitendum movet animam meam? Aut tu quomodo moves eam, si in abysso sua non vides eam? Bone Domine, tu pulsasti et excitasti eam in abysso delictorum suorum, velut in lecto dormientem. Tu concussisti torpentem, tu sollicitasti negligentem, tu fecisti poenitentem unde jucundabatur, et dolentem unde delectabatur. Tu, ut peteret intercessorem, consuluisti; tu illi eum exhibuisti. Bone Deus, omnia haec fecisti in abysso; et non audis clamantem de abysso?
Haec praeveniendo fugitivo tuo fecisti; et non subsequeris ad te reverti volentem, ut perficias quod incoepisti?
Bone Domine, gratias tibi. Vere quaesivisti in abysso perditum tuum: et invenisti, quem ita de peccatis suis exterruisti. Per merita sancti Martini dilecti tui, reduc de abysso peccatorum, quem quaesitum invenisti perditum tuum; ne perdas amplius inventum tuum, ne in abysso inferni, ubi nullum invenis, perdas quaesitum et inventum servum tuum. Audio, Domine, quia jubes me redire, sed miserabiliter ligatus, et nimio pondere gravatus non possum exire.
Sed, o sancte Martine, cur ergo per merita tua oro Deum: cum te melius hoc possis, qui es ante eum? Precor te, domine, per nomen ejus, ne avertaris quem ipse jam respexit, quamvis reum servum ejus; adesto mihi, rogo, apud Deum, non ut defendas me, sed ut ores pro me. Peccata enim mea coram eo non defendo, sed ostendo; non excuso, sed accuso. Ego sum reus, ego ipse sum sub illo et pro illo accusator meus.
Non accuset me, qui fecit me; solus suffeci ad peccandum, solus sufficiam ad accusandum: denique si judex est ad judicandum reum suum, est et Dominus ad tuendum servum suum; est et Creator ad servandum opus suum; est Deus ad salvandum credentem et baptizatum suum. Aut quomodo judicabit peccatorem, ut contemnentem, qui se de peccatis miserum cognoscit et fatetur poenitentem? aut quomodo damnabit ut adversarium peccatorem, qui se peccasse dolet, et fugit ad tam amicum ejus intercessorem? Deus, in te pono spem meam. Sancte Martine, tibi committo orationem meam. Super ambos jacto curam meam; imo vobis jacto animam meam, hoc est, quod a me magis exigitis, tu jubendo, tu consulendo. Suscipite eam vobis jactatam, habete eam vobis prostratam. Reducite eam de abysso peccatorum: quam quaesitam invenistis perditam, ne perdatis inventam.
Custodite eam, cum dormio; servate eam, cum aliud facio; videte eam, cum aliud cogito: tu per concessionem, tu per intercessionem, tu propter merita tui tam dilecti confessoris, tu propter nomen tui et mei Creatoris, qui es benedictus in saecula. Amen.
Scripture echoes
- ↩Ps.13.1;Ps.31.7 — To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David. Ps.31.7 — I hate those who cling to worthless idols, but I trust in the LORD.
- ↩Ps.30.7 — But I said in my prosperity, 'I shall never be shaken.'
- ↩Luke.11.11-Luke.11.12 — Which father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent? Luke.11.12 — Or if he will ask an egg, will he give him a scorpion?
- ↩John.8.34 — Jesus answered them, 'Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin.'
- ↩Ps.35.7 — For without cause they have hidden for me the pit of their net; without cause they have dug a pit for my life.
- ↩Ps.41.8 — Together they whisper against me—all my enemies—plotting evil against me.
- ↩Ps.131.1 — O LORD, my heart is not lifted up, my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.
- ↩Ps.139.8 — If I ascend to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, behold, you are there.
- ↩Ps.130.1 — A Song of Ascents. Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD.
- ↩Ps.38.16;Ps.72.5 — For in You, O LORD, I have waited; You will answer, O Lord my God. Ps.72.5 — They shall fear you as long as the sun endures, and before the moon, through all generations.
Notes
- 1 ↩migitet: uncertain lemma (possibly variant of migro or mico); rendered as 'may turn' following the candidate gloss sense of turning the face.
- 2 ↩praestabilis super malitiam rendered 'outstanding beyond all malice' — the rare adjective praestabilis with super + acc. may also carry the sense 'preeminent over' or 'superior to.'
- 3 ↩Importunitas here carries the sense of persistent, even shameless urgency in prayer (the 'importunate widow' tradition), not mere annoyance. The speaker asks God not to require him to reach that pitch of desperate persistence before hearing him, because God already knows how frail his prayer life has been.
- 4 ↩The Latin plays on velox/velocior: the speaker is 'swift' (velox) to fail, and asks God to be 'swifter' (velocior) to help. The comparative construction is preserved in English with 'even quicker.'
- 5 ↩Four future-perfect conditions (contritum fuerit, commota fuerint, liquefacta fuerit, fluxerint) are rendered in present-perfect English ('has been crushed,' 'has been shaken,' etc.) to preserve the rhetorical force of completed conditions leading to hope. Viscera ('inward parts/bowels') is rendered as 'deepest self' to capture the interior, affective sense without the anatomical concreteness that would distract in modern English. 'Liquefacta' ('melted/dissolved') is rendered as 'worn down' to capture the sense of being emotionally spent.
- 6 ↩The triple imperative (concute, excita, commove) is rendered with three distinct English verbs (shake, rouse, stir) to preserve the rhetorical escalation. 'Ad affectum secundum necessitatem suam' is rendered as 'toward the affection it needs' — the 'affection' here is the interior movement or disposition the speaker's mind requires, not mere emotion. 'Secundum necessitatem suam' ('according to its own need') is rendered as 'it needs' for naturalness. The final clause 'effectum secundum potentiam tuam' is rendered to preserve the double 'secundum' structure: the effect of mercy comes 'according to' (i.e., in proportion to) God's power.
- 7 ↩imo vere: the speaker corrects the tentative forsan with emphatic certainty — 'nay rather, truly.'
- 8 ↩affectus carnalis: rendered 'carnal attachment' to capture the disordered affection sense rather than mere feeling.
- 9 ↩infatuavit: literally 'made insipid' — here 'dulled' to convey the loss of spiritual savor.
- 10 ↩intentio infimorum: 'a mind bent on what is lowest' — intentio as directed attention, infimorum as base or worldly concerns.
- 11 ↩devolutus / obvolutus: spatial-metaphor participles — 'rolled away' and 'wrapped up' — conveying passive entrapment in sin.
- 12 ↩The repeated appositional use of 'abyssus' as a predicate noun creates a rhetorical anaphora: each reality named — judgments, sins, debts, torments, the underworld — is declared to be an abyss, layering the speaker's sense of being surrounded on all sides.
- 13 ↩The final clause inverts the expected order: one might expect sins to be destroyed by torments (i.e., punishment consuming the sin), but the text asserts the opposite — sins will always hold (retain, produce) torments. The sin itself becomes the enduring source of torment.
- 14 ↩'peccata semper tormenta tenebunt' rendered as 'sins will always hold torments' preserves the active, ongoing force of sin as torment-bearer, rather than the passive reading 'sins will always be held by torments.'
- 15 ↩The function of 'ut' is ambiguous between purpose and result; purpose is chosen as the primary reading given the hortatory context of the prayer, but result is also plausible.
- 16 ↩The scope of 'et' is uncertain: it may link the two main clauses adversatively ('and yet') or additively ('and'); additive is selected as the default pending further discourse analysis.
Orationes sive Meditationes — Collection for Princess Adeliza of Normandy companion
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