De multiplici amicicia bonorum et malorum, et an dissolui possit. De raritate, et de amiciciis uirorum et mulierum. De uera amicicia, et quomodo eleeti in ipsa delectantur in uia, et de insipiencia quorundam qui nimis abstinent uel nudi sunt, et de amicicia carnali, et ornatu uirorum ac mulierum

De multiplici amicicia bonorum et malorum, et an dissolui possit. De raritate, et de amiciciis uirorum et mulierum. De uera amicicia, et quomodo eleeti in ipsa delectantur in uia, et de insipiencia quorundam qui nimis abstinent uel nudi sunt, et de amicicia carnali, et ornatu uirorum ac mulierum

Friendship is a connection of wills, sharing the same intentions and disagreements, and it can exist between good people and bad people, but with different affections; and it should especially exist between God and the soul, which must conform its own will to the divine will in all things; so that what God wants, it wants too; and what God does not want, it does not want either; thus, true friendship will be complete between them. In human affections, where true friendship exists, let it not be that the distance of bodies creates a separation of souls; rather, may the unbreakable bond of true friendship relieve the desolation caused by physical distance, and may a friend regard another as if they were one, while they see the steadfastness of their united wills. True friendship exists when one friend regards another as oneself, when one friend is truly another person, and loves the other for who they are, not for any benefit they hope to gain from them. But it is questioned whether, if one of the friends goes astray, the friendship should be dissolved. Some have claimed that true friendship cannot exist except between those who are similar in virtue. But how can something that was perfect be dissolved by a single wandering thought? A perfect friendship cannot exist if it can gradually fade into nothing, which goes against the nature of true friendship, where someone is loved for who they are, not for any benefit or pleasure they might bring. In friendships, it's not necessary for one person to change because of the other's change; but since friendship is a virtue, it cannot be maintained without some change in the other. Therefore, it's not necessary for one to withdraw because of another's mistake; rather, if it is true friendship, it will be more eager to bring back the one who has gone astray, even if it should be called love, which desires and seeks the good for its friend just as for itself, and it cannot be broken by any error as long as they live. Friendships dissolve when the qualities that make someone lovable are absent, especially when those friendships lack usefulness and delight. Such friendships are false and cannot endure unless they remain enjoyable and beneficial. But the essence of true friendship does not dissolve among friends while they are present; therefore, true friendship does not dissolve as long as they are together. However, if one goes astray, both can still live on; thus, if one goes astray, friendship can still endure if it was ever true. This is because they love each other according to their true selves, that is, according to their goodness, which must be understood not in terms of moral goodness but in terms of nature. Nature compels a person to seek a faithful friend for themselves; since they also intend to maintain faith and gratitude, they do nothing in vain. Therefore, true friendship, which is natural, will not be dissolved as long as nature exists, except in the case of an injury to that very nature, which love cannot oppose; this is something nature cannot do unless it has been oppressed by corrupt morals. Friendship, therefore, which is ignited by something that is not the very thing that is loved, fails and is extinguished, as long as the thing that incited love is not possessed; so if wealth, beauty, or character maintains friendship among those whose morals are wandering, whose riches are slipping away, and whose beauty has been destroyed, then friendship also fades away, even for the one who once had it. It can be said that nothing is more unfortunate than having been happy. But the friendship that nature fosters among friends is not diminished by poverty, erased by error, or ended by deformity, as long as the nature that gives rise to that friendship remains. Such friendship is pure and natural, and therefore it has neither merit nor demerit, unless it acts against God's command; it also carries with it a great delight, in which there is likewise neither merit nor demerit. True friendship cannot exist without mutual delight among friends, their desirable companionship, and the comforting words they share. If this friendship is informed by God's grace and is wholly directed towards Him, it is then called holy friendship and is greatly meritorious. But if, for the sake of this friendship, anything is done against God's will by friends, then that friendship is perverse, foul, and unclean, and it brings much demerit. I don't know what misfortune has happened that a true friend is found so rarely, if at all. Everyone seeks what is their own; no one has a friend about whom they can say, 'He is another me.' They turn to their own interests and pleasures, and they aren't ashamed to commit fraud even against their own friends, which shows that they are not true friends but fake ones, because they don't love people; instead, they focus either on the good qualities of others or on flattery and favors. Even though friendship between men and women can be dangerous, because an attractive appearance easily entices a fragile spirit, and the sight of temptation ignites carnal desire, it often leads to the pollution of both mind and body. Thus, the familiarity of women with men often leads to the detriment of virtue. However, that friendship isn't illicit if it is pursued with a good spirit and for the love of God, not for the pleasure of the flesh. If women see themselves being looked down upon by men and complain to God about it, feeling that He created them to be such that men would disdain them, and if they perhaps despair of their salvation, they think of themselves as desolate if they don't receive counsel or help from men. The reason is weak in them, and so they are easily led astray and quickly overcome. For this reason, they are greatly in need of the counsel of good people. But those who are wicked are treated badly, because they are much more inclined toward the pleasure of indulgence than toward the clarity of holiness. There is also a natural affection of a man for a woman, and of a woman for a man, which no one lacks, not even the holy, according to the nature first established by God, through which, while existing together and mutually harmonious, they delight in each other socially by natural instinct. This kind of love also has its pleasures, found in mutual conversations and honest touches, and in the joy of living together; however, a person does not deserve this unless it is informed by love, nor is it worthy unless it is free from blame. If evil impulses arise from those who think about lust and tend toward it, without a doubt they are dead because they sin against God. Those who say that all our actions, whether internal or external, are meritorious or demeritorious are gravely mistaken; because they attempt to remove, or at least contend that natural inclinations and actions do not exist in us, and thus do not fear introducing confusion into noble nature. That kind of friendship or familiarity between men and women is illicit and forbidden, as it seeks to fulfill carnal desires in a base lust, and they come together, postponing eternal matters for the sake of temporary pleasures and seeking to flourish in bodily loves. They too are guilty of serious wrongdoing, especially those who have received the sacred order and approach women like sinners, claiming to languish for their love and nearly wasting away from an immense desire, caught in a conflict of thoughts, and thus lead them to a light and unstable misery in this life and the next. But they will not go unpunished, for they carry their own condemnation with them, of which it is said through the psalmist: Their throat is an open grave; they deceive with their tongues. Judge them, O God.^✦ God wants women to be honored by men, not to be despised or seduced by empty flattery; rather, they should be educated in all holiness and piety for the salvation of their souls and bodies, faithfully and lovingly. However, it is now rarely found that anyone does this, and instead, sadly, many seek to inform them either for gifts or for the special qualities they wish to acquire. Thus, it often happens that if they instruct in one area, they destroy and confuse in another, and they use things that please women, so that they are not offended, whether they do not want to or do not dare to prohibit them, even though they are wrong. True friendship is the strengthening of love, the consolation of sorrow, the relief of anguish, the expulsion of worldly sadness, the reform of sins, the increase of holiness, the decrease of wickedness, and the multiplication of good deeds, as friends draw each other away from evil through wise counsel and are inflamed to do good, while they see in each other the grace they long to possess themselves. Therefore, holy friendship should not be scorned, as it offers healing for every misery. It is from God that we are refreshed by counsel and support amid the calamities of this life, until we reach Him, where we will all be taught by God and placed in eternal seats of bliss, in Him whom we have loved and in whom and for whom we have friends, and we will glory without end. I can't exclude anyone from this friendship, no matter how holy they are, who needs it, unless perhaps there’s someone so exceptional that only angels would serve them, not humans. There are some who rejoice in divine love and are so intoxicated by its sweetness that they can say, "My soul refuses to be comforted by earthly consolation, which the lovers of the world offer to each other." However, it’s necessary that, according to nature and grace, they find delight in those things that are essential for their bodies and in other people. Who eats or sleeps, or receives refreshment from heat or cold, without delight? Who has a friend, and does not take delight in his presence, conversation, companionship, and sharing of good things? Certainly, no one, except a fool lacking reason, finds consolation in these and similar things in human life, which is also the most sacred and delights more abundantly in God. Therefore, it should not be understood that my soul refuses to be consoled by such things, but rather by the foul, impure, and illicit comforts of the worldly. Then he said. You have delighted me, Lord, in your creation, and I will rejoice in the works of your hands. Who can deny the comfort of receiving it, when one acknowledges to rejoice in the works of God? The foolish person won't understand this, and the simple-minded won't grasp it. Some people have a zeal for God, but not according to knowledge. They try to get rid of unnecessary things, but they carelessly cut back even on what is essential, thinking that God cannot be pleased unless they excessively afflict themselves through extreme abstinence and nakedness. And although the pallor of the face is the beauty of the solitary, their service is not rightly ordered, because even if they are commanded to discipline their bodies and bring their spirits into servitude, they are still bound not to kill them, but to preserve them for the honor of God until He separates the soul from the body, He who joined them together. Such people are harsh to others and hard to love themselves; they also don't recognize the care of friendship because they haven't followed its path. If the love of relatives is excessive, it is called a carnal affection and should be broken off, because it hinders from the love of God; but if it is moderate, it is considered natural and does not disturb one's service to God, since nature, in this regard, does not act against the Creator of nature. Finally, the women of our time deserve to be reproached for the new adornments they've found, both for their heads and their bodies, in such a remarkable and excessive vanity that they not only lead themselves into it but also cause horror and astonishment in those who look upon them. Not only do they walk against the teaching of the Apostle by adorning themselves with gold and elaborate hairstyles, indulging in pomp and lewdness, but they also act against human decency and the divine order of nature, wearing wide horns of terrifying size made from hair that isn't rooted in their heads; some of them, striving to either hide their shame or enhance their beauty, color their faces with deceitful makeup and whiten their skin. People, both men and women, are excessively indulging in newly sculpted clothing, not considering what is fitting by nature, but rather what new vanity the rumor mill, prompted by the devil, introduces. If someone, even the rarest person, wants to criticize such things, they'll be ridiculed, and they'll pay more attention to empty tales than to correction. Let them fall and perish, be captured and ensnared. Those men and women who are called innocent may want to adorn themselves for a time, but they will be deformed forever, because after experiencing the infernal glory, they will feel the punishment for having loved not Christ in this life, but the most worthless vanity of the world, crowning themselves with roses before they withered — but now let us move on to other things.