De sancto Johanne abbate
The Discipline of the Desert
Abbot John and Bishop Epiphanius exchange insights on the rigorous ascetic and relational disciplines required for a holy life.
After Episius had lived in the desert for forty years, Abbot John asked him how much he had progressed during that time. John replied, "Since I began living as a hermit, the sun has never seen me eating." He added, "And it hasn't seen me angry, either." A similar story is told in the same place: when Bishop Epiphanius offered meat to Abbot Hilarion, the abbot said, "Forgive me, but since I took up this habit, I haven't eaten anything that has been killed." The bishop replied, "Since I took up this habit, I've never let anyone go to sleep who had something against me, and I've never gone to sleep myself while holding something against anyone." To this, the other replied, "Forgive me, for you are better than I am."
The Angelic Illusion
Abbot John attempts to live like an angel in the desert but is humbled by his brother, who forces him to confront his human limitations.
Wishing to do no work, like the angels, and to be free to serve God without interruption, John stripped himself of everything and spent a week in the desert. But when he was in danger of starving and was covered in wounds from the stings of flies and wasps, he returned to his brother's door and knocked. He asked him, "Who are you?" And he replied, "I am John." The brother said, "Not at all; John has become an angel and is no longer among men." And he answered, "I truly am." He didn't open the door for him, but left him to suffer outside until morning; then, opening it, he said, "If you're a man, you must work again to eat and live; but if you're an angel, why do you seek to enter a cell?" And he said, "Forgive me, brother, for I have sinned."
A Final Inheritance
On his deathbed, Abbot John leaves a final testament of humility and integrity to his brothers.
When he was dying, the brothers asked him to leave them some short and helpful word as an inheritance. He sighed and said, "I have never done my own will, nor have I taught anything that I hadn't first done myself." This is in the Lives of the Fathers.
Read the original Latin
Johannes abbas, cum Episius per annos quadraginta in eremo habitasset, interrogavit eum, quantum ex hoc profecisset. Et dixitJohannes: ex quo coepi solitarius esse, nunquam me vidit sol manducantem. Et )ille; nec me irascentem. Simile vero legitur ibidem, quod, cum Epiphanius episcopus abbati Hilarioni daret carnes, ille ait: ignosce mihi, quia, ex quo accepi habitum hunc, non manducavi quidquid occisum. Cui episeopus: ex quo accepi habitum hunc, non dimisi aliquem dormire, qui adversum me aliquid haberet, nec dormivi habens aliquid adversus aliquem. Cui ile: ignosce mihi, quia melior es, quam ego. Volens Johannes ad similitudinem angelorum nihil operari, sed Deo sine intermissione vacare, se ipsum exspoliavit et unam hebdomadem in-eremo fuit. Cum autem fame periclitaretur et aculeis muscarum et vesparum totus vulneraretur, reversus ad ostium fratris sui pulsabat.
Ad quem ille: quis es tu? Et ille: ego sum Johannes. Frater autem dixit: nequaquam; Johannes enim angelus factus est et inter homines ultra non est. Et ille: ego vere sum. Et non aperiens ei dimisit eum affligi usque mane, Postea aperiens dixit: si homo es, opus habes iterum operari, ut pascaris et vivas; si antem angelus es, quid quaeris intrare cellam? Et ille dixit: ignosce mihi, frater, quod peccavi. Gum autem moreretur, rogaverunt eum fratres, ut aliquod verbum salutare et compendiosum loco hereditatis sibi relinqueret. Qui ingemiscens ait: nunquam feci propriam voluntatem nec aliquid docui, quod prius ipse non fecerim, Haec in vitis patrum.
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