Exclamación V
The Boldness of Prayer
Despite feelings of unworthiness, the soul finds confidence to pray because God himself invites us to bring our needs to him.
Oh, my Lord! How can someone who has served you so poorly and taken such little care of what you have given her dare to ask you for favors? What trust can be placed in someone who has so often proved unfaithful? What am I to do, then, you comfort of the comfortless and healing for everyone who seeks healing from you? Perhaps it would be better to keep silent about my needs and wait for you to meet them? No, certainly not. For you, my Lord and my delight, knew how many our needs would be and what relief we would find in telling you about them; so you tell us to ask you, and you will not fail to give.
The Lesson of Martha's Love
Reflecting on Martha's complaint, the soul realizes that true love makes service a joy and that God's past mercies leave no room for complaint.
Sometimes I think about the complaint of that holy woman Martha. She wasn't just complaining about her sister; I am convinced that what troubled her most was the thought that you, Lord, felt no concern for the strain she was under and didn't care that she was there with you. Perhaps she thought you didn't love her as much as you loved her sister. That must have hurt her more than serving someone she loved so deeply, since love makes labor feel like rest. This is clear because she said nothing to her sister, but brought her whole complaint to you, Lord: love made her bold enough to ask why you didn't care. And even in your answer, both the reality and the source of what I am asking for seem to appear: love alone gives value to everything, and what matters most is that love should become so great that nothing can hinder it from loving.1 But how can we love you, my God, as the beloved deserves, unless the love you have for me draws our love into itself?2 Should I join this holy woman in her complaint? Oh, I have no reason at all, for I have always seen in my God far greater and more abundant signs of love than I have ever known how to ask or desire! Unless I complain about how long your goodness has put up with me, I have nothing to complain about.3
A Prayer for Reciprocity
The soul concludes by asking for the grace to offer something back to God, acknowledging its identity as his creation.
Then what could someone as wretched as I am ask for? My God, give me something I can give you, as Saint Augustine prayed, to repay at least a little of what I owe you; remember that I am your creation, and let me know who my Creator is so that I may love him.4
Read the original Latin
—¡Oh Señor mío! , ¿cómo os osa pedir mercedes quien tan mal os ha servido y ha sabido guardar lo que le habéis dado? ¿Qué se puede confiar de quien muchas veces ha sido traidor? Pues ¿qué haré, consuelo de los desconsolados y remedio de quien se quiere remediar de Vos? ¿Por ventura será mejor callar con mis necesidades, esperando que Vos las remediéis? No, por cierto; que Vos, Señor mío y deleite mío, sabiendo las muchas que habían de ser y el alivio que nos es contarlas a Vos, decís que os pidamos y que no dejaréis de dar.
—Acuérdome algunas veces de la queja de aquella santa mujer, Marta, que no solo se quejaba de su hermana, antes tengo por cierto que su mayor sentimiento era pareciéndole no os dolíais Vos, Señor, del trabajo que ella pasaba, ni se os daba nada que ella estuviese con Vos. Por ventura le pareció no era tanto el amor que la teníais como a su hermana; que esto le debía hacer mayor sentimiento que el servir a quien ella tenía tan gran amor, que este hace tener por descanso el trabajo. Y parécese en no decir nada a su hermana, antes con toda su queja fue a Vos, Señor, que el amor la hizo atrever a decir que cómo no teníais cuidado. Y aún en la respuesta parece ser y proceder la demanda de lo que digo; que solo amor es el que da valor a todas las cosas; y que sea tan grande que ninguna le estorbe a amar, es lo más necesario. Mas ¿cómo le podremos tener, Dios mío, conforme a lo que merece el amado, si el que Vos me tenéis no le junta consigo? ¿Quejaréme con esta santa mujer? ¡Oh, que no tengo ninguna razón, porque siempre he visto en mi Dios harto mayores y más crecidas muestras de amor de lo que yo he sabido pedir ni desear! Si no me quejo de lo mucho que vuestra benignidad me ha sufrido, no tengo de qué.
Pues ¿qué podrá pedir una cosa tan miserable como yo? Que me deis, Dios mío, qué os dé con san Agustín para pagar algo de lo mucho que os debo; que os acordéis que soy vuestra hechura y que conozca yo quién es mi Criador para que le ame.
Notes
- 1 ↩The older Spanish is syntactically compressed. This rendering understands Christ's answer as both embodying and giving rise to the author's petition concerning love.
- 2 ↩Literally, God's love for the speaker must join human love to itself; “draws our love into itself” preserves that dependence while making the pronouns clear.
- 3 ↩Here “sufrir” means patiently bearing with or putting up with someone, not causing them to suffer.
- 4 ↩The phrase invokes a prayer associated with Saint Augustine, but the precise textual allusion is not identified here.
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