R131: Propst G. von St. Viktor in Mainz an Hildegard von Rupertsberg
Salutation and Approach in Humility
The provost identifies himself and Hildegard, then humbly draws near, moved by her reputation and his own need for mercy.
The provost of St. Victor. To Hildegard. Hildegard, through the mirror of divine contemplation! G. Downcast among the common folk. And provost of St. Victor in Mainz! If the sighs of a broken and humbled heart carry any weight. Drawn by the good fragrance of your reputation, and roused to hope for salvation from the depths of iniquity.
Confession of Misery and Shame
He lays his miseries before Hildegard, confessing great shame, confusion, and many tears with few words to express them.
To lay my miseries before the sight of your majesty and bewail them. And from here to seek help and counsel. I will approach with a spirit of pious presumption. For how great are the miseries I have fallen into. How much shame and confusion I have received. How many tears I have poured forth! I will scarcely be able to speak of it in words. But that is no wonder.
Disorder of Life Under God's Judgment
He describes defilement of mind and body, acknowledges divine correction, and admits his inner life is disordered and better known to Hildegard by the Spirit than expressed in words.
When, then, my mind and body were being defiled by so many shameful deeds and impurities— yet before the most just and most kind judgment of God, if it's nevertheless right to speak openly— it is fitting for divine correction. Although sufferings that matched my sins did not follow, For I have often fallen into abominable wickedness as much by my deeds as by my thoughts! things that you, my lady, know better through the Holy Spirit revealing them. So not everything in my inner life is rightly ordered! And there's no need to write out what I must not.
Plea for Prayer and Hope of Salvation
Calling upon the Spirit who teaches all things, he prostrate at her feet, begging her prayers and asking whether he is destined for life or death.
O Spirit! teaches you all things. Therefore, at the feet of your holiness—since I am dust and ashes—I prostrate myself and beg you with the most humble devotion. that you may call upon the consoler and deliverer of our souls on my behalf. And let me know whether there is hope of salvation for me— whether I am destined for life, or foreknown for death. But I beg you!
Final Request for Grace and Farewell
He asks that his boldness not be judged folly, prays that the Holy Spirit dwelling in him may fulfill his vows, and ends with farewell.
May this presumption not be reckoned to me as folly. But the Holy Spirit, who has a dwelling place in you — Grant that, according to my faith and humility, I may respond to all my vows. Farewell.
Read the original Latin
Prepositus de sancto Victore. hildegardi. Hildigardi diuinę contemplationis speculo! G. abiectio plebis. et prepositus de sancto victore in moguntia! si quid ualent contriti et humiliati cordis suspiria. Super bono uestrę opinionis odore illectus et in spem salutis ex profunda iniquitate animatus.
miserias meas in conspectu almitatis uestrę exponere et deplorare. hincque auxilium et consilium querere. pię presumptionis spiritu aggrediar. Quantum enim miseriarum inciderim. quantum ruboris et confusionis exceperim. quantum lacrimarum effuderim! uix sermone effari potero. Sed non mirum.
Cum enim tot flagitiis et immundicijs animus corpusque meum polluerentur. iustissimo et benignissimo dei iudicio si tamen fas est fateri. dignum correctione diuina. licet non condignę passiones sequebantur. Nam sepius abhominabili iniquitate tam factis quam cogitationibus lapsus sum! quę uos domina spiritu sancto reuelante melius scitis. Quapropter non omnia recte aguntur circa animum meum! quę non est necesse scribere.
Spiritus enim! docet uos omnia. Ergo uestrę sanctitatis pedibus aduolutuus cum sim puluis et cinis humillima deuotione posco. ut super me consolatorem et liberatorem animarum nostrarum inuocetis. meque scire faciatis an mihi sit spes salutis. an predestinatus sim ad uitam. aut prescitus ad mortem. Sed queso!
ne reputetur mihi in stulticiam hęc presumptio. Ceterum spiritus sanctus qui habet in uobis mansionem! tribuat uobis secundum fidem et humilitatem meam respondere ad omnia uotis meis. Valete.
Epistolae: Letters to Frederick Barbarossa and Henry II of England companion
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