R113: Abt von Kloster Veßra an Hildegard von Rupertsberg
Greeting and Longing to See Hildegard
The Abbot of Veßra greets Hildegard warmly and expresses his deep spiritual desire to behold her blessedness despite his unworthiness and distance.
The Abbot of Veßra. To Hildegard. To the venerable and most beloved sister in Christ, Lady Hildegard! A brother from Veßra, to see the God of gods in Zion.✦1 How great is my desire — though I am a sinner — to behold your blessedness.2 This can be judged from the fact that I am far away.3 I behold your presence in the spirit. For who could see her?4
Hidden Works of the Spirit and Personal Need
The abbot explains that he writes under Hildegard's grace, confesses his inability to bear the weight of his office, and describes how fear of God and love of his brothers compel him.
She doesn't want to talk with anyone, so that I may keep quiet about the rest—what the Spirit of God, poured into her, repeatedly brings forth from the deepest heavenly mysteries. It's through her grace that I've written this present letter to you, hoping to receive both comfort and counsel from you in return, concerning the troubles that press down on me so heavily. Look—I'm someone who can't give an answer even for my own life, and I tremble as I carry responsibility for so many others. It's the fear of God and love of the brothers that wring this from me. But when I considered that I hold the office of abbot—one I can't live up to by my deeds—
Sudden Anguish and the Decision to Resign
Overcome by sudden pains and loss of understanding, the abbot fears for the flock and decides to abandon his office, asking Hildegard to reveal God's will in a reply.
Pains seized me suddenly, like those of a woman in labor! For since long weariness has withdrawn the punishment of it — every knowledge and understanding — from me.5 So that the Lord's flock may not face danger because of my negligence. I've decided to abandon the responsibility I took on! and to move myself to another place. Therefore I humbly beg you to strengthen my wavering mind with your counsel. And let me know in your letters what the Lord's will is in this matter. I know your humility: you don't shrink from our conversation!
Appeal for Hildegard's Judgment amid Distress
Invoking Christ's openness to sinners, the abbot insists he will follow whatever Hildegard advises and pleads for her sympathy as he is nearly overwhelmed by constant anxieties.
While the Lord was speaking with the tax collectors,✦ Look: it's your judgment on this matter that we're waiting for. because whatever you suggest to me, with the Lord inspiring— that I've resolved to undergo. But you—sympathize with my distress! all the more earnestly, then, beseech the Lord. A deep abyss of constant anxieties surrounds me! and a sea of enormous cares nearly swallows me up.
Final Plea for Mercy and Prayer
The abbot closes by crying out for Hildegard's mercy and prayer, asking for swift relief and commending her to the Lord's care.
Have mercy, then, mother. Have mercy on your son, who is crying out to you from far away! And now he is slipping. With counsel. With prayer. Take care to relieve him as quickly as possible. May you always fare well in the Lord.
Read the original Latin
Abbas De Vescera. hildegardi. Venerabili et dilectissimę in christo sorori dominę hildegardi! frater de uescera uidere deum deorum in syon. Quantum desiderium habeam quamuis peccator uidendi beatitudinem uestram. hinc estimari potest quod longe positus. presentiam uestram spiritu intueor. Quis enim eam uidere.
ei colloqui non appetat. quę ut cetera sileam spiritu dei infusa crebro celestia archana eructat. Huius gratia ad uos presentia scripta direxi. recepturus ut spero solacium simul et consilium super curis quibus uehementer coartor. Ecce enim ego qui pro me racionem reddere non sufficio. aliorum multorum curam tremens ago. dei timore et amore fratrum id extorquente. Cum autem perpenderem me locum prelati tenere quem factis implere non possem.
subito apprehenderunt me dolores ut parturientis! quippe cum longa fatigatio penę omnem scientię intellectum mihi subduxit. Ne igitur domini gregem propter meam negligentiam contingat periclitari. cogitaui curam susceptam derelinquere! et ad alterum locum me transferre. Quapropter suppliciter precor ut dubiam mentem consilio uestro confirmetis. et quę sit uoluntas domini super hac re mihi scriptis uestris remandate. Noui humilitatem uestram quod colloquium nostrum non abhorretis!
domino loquente cum publicanis. Ecce uestrum super hac causa expectamus iudicium. quoniam quicquid domino inspirante mihi suggesseritis. id me subire proposui. Uos autem angustijs meis compassa! tanto affectuosius dominum exorate. Abyssus reuersa sollicitudinum continuarum circumdat me! et pelagus curarum ingentium pene absorbet me.
Miserere ergo mater. miserere filio ad te de longe clamanti! atque iam prolabentem. consilio. oratione. quantocius subleuare curato. Semper ualeatis in domino.
Scripture echoes
Notes
- 1 ↩Quotation from Psalm 83:8 (Vulgate) — 'to see the God of gods in Zion.' Candidate allusion pending Moses resolution.
- 2 ↩uidendi is a gerund/gerundive in the genitive; rendered here as an infinitive phrase ('to behold') to convey the sense of 'of seeing.'
- 3 ↩longe positus — 'placed far away' or 'situated at a distance'; rendered idiomatically as 'far away.'
- 4 ↩eam — referent ambiguous; likely refers to beatitudinem (blessedness) from the preceding sentence, or possibly to Hildegard herself. Rendered as 'her' to preserve the ambiguity.
- 5 ↩The manuscript reads penę (penal/punishment sense uncertain); omnem scientię intellectum is grammatically tangled. Translation renders the most plausible sense: prolonged exhaustion has stripped away the capacity for knowledge and understanding, as a kind of punishment.
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