Caput X. De colloquio cum variis personis. Quid hac in re observandum a reclusa.
Guarding the Heart Against Frequent Visits
The recluse is warned that frequent visits and private conversations endanger both her reputation and her interior life, as repeated impressions of another person become deeply imprinted on the memory.
I would certainly wish no person to visit you more often, and when someone visits you more frequently, I would wish you to have no private conversation with them. For a virgin's reputation is endangered by the frequent greeting of some person, and her conscience is endangered as well. For the more often you have seen the same person's face, or heard their voice, the more vividly the image of that person will be imprinted on your memory.
Modest Speech and Custody of the Senses
The recluse must speak with men only while veiled and with downcast eyes, offering only her hearing with reverence, since even repeated exposure to a man's voice poses spiritual danger.
And so the recluse ought to speak with a man with her face veiled, and she should avoid his gaze; to him she ought to offer only her hearing, and that with fear. For I do not doubt that to admit the same man's voice often is dangerous for some people.
Avoiding Suspect Company and Unauthorized Speech
The recluse must shun conversation with young or suspect persons and speak with no one at all without her priest's permission, so that restricted access may preserve her solitude and peace.
Avoid conversation with young people and with suspect persons; never with them unless you are listening to someone who speaks to you properly — and even then, only if clear necessity demands it.1 Therefore speak with no one who comes — except a bishop, or an abbot, or a prior of great standing — without that priest's permission or instruction, so that the difficulty of speaking with you may afford you quiet.
Refusing Gifts, Letters, and Secret Tokens
The recluse must never exchange messengers, gifts, or letters with any man, since such tokens—however disguised as spiritual friendship—are kindling for illicit love and a rich source of evil.
Never, between you and any man — whether on the pretext of showing love, or of nurturing affection, or of seeking familiarity or spiritual friendship — should messengers run back and forth. Don't receive their little gifts or letters, and don't send yours to them, as is the custom — things like belts or purses, woven from varied warp and weft, and other items of this kind that younger monks send through clerics. All this is kindling for illicit love and a rich source of evil.23
Read the original Latin
Nullam certe personam te frequentius visitare vellem, nec cum aliqua te crebrius visitante, familiare vellem tecum habere secretum. Periclitatur enim fama virginis crebra certe alicujus personae salutatione, periclitatur et conscientia. Nam quanto saepius eumdem videris vultum, vel vocem audieris, tanto expressius ejus imago tuae memoriae imprimetur. Et ideo inclusa etiam facie velata loqui debet cum viro, et ejus cavere conspectum, cui cum timore solum debet praestare auditum. Nam eamdem viri vocem saepe admittere, quibusdam periculosum esse non dubito. Adolescentium et suspectarum personarum devita colloquium; nec unquam tecum, nisi tu audientiam illius, qui tibi proprie loquatur: et hoc si certa necessitas poposcerit. Cum nullo itaque advenientium, praeter episcopum, aut abbatem, vel magni nominis priorem, sine ipsius presbyteri licentia vel praecepto loquaris, ut difficultas loquendi tecum, tibi praestet quietem. Nunquam inter te et quemlibet virum quasi occasione exhibendae charitatis, vel nutriendi affectus, vel expetendae familiaritatis aut amicitiae spiritualis, discurrant nuntii: nec eorum munuscula litterasque suscipias, nec illis tua dirigas, prout moris est, puta zonas, marsupia, quae diverso stamine et subtegmine variata sunt, et caetera quae hujusmodi adolescentioribus monachi per clericos mittunt, quod fomentum est amoris illiciti, et magni materia mali.
Notes
- 1 ↩The Latin period is long and syntactically compressed; the English rendering unpacks the conditional clauses for readability while preserving the logical force of 'nec unquam… nisi… et hoc si'.
- 2 ↩The Latin is a single long periodic sentence with multiple nested clauses. The English rendering breaks it into two sentences for readability while preserving all logical connectives and the force of the prohibitions.
- 3 ↩charitatis rendered as 'love' per lexeme policy (charitas → love by default; charity/love footnote not needed here as the context is clearly about disordered attachment, not the theological virtue).
De institutione inclusarum (A Rule of Life for a Recluse) companion
A rule only lives if you keep it daily
Chosen Portion gives your new rule its anchor: one free devotional portion every day.
Aelred built his sister's day around fixed times of prayer and meditation; Chosen Portion supplies the fixed daily portion that makes a modern rule of life keepable.
- Anchor your rule with a fixed 10-minute daily portion
- Practice Aelred's threefold meditation with guided daily prompts
- Review and adjust your one-page rule after 30 days of tracked practice