De institucione coniugalis uite.
Marriage as Remedy for Concupiscence
The chapter opens by establishing marriage as the divinely ordained remedy for the fires of youthful concupiscence, drawing on the Apostle Paul, Solomon, and Augustine, and introduces the threefold instruction every young man entering marriage must receive.
Because, as was said before, in the season of youth the author of concupiscence is especially wont to press its assault, that impulse of desire is to be governed by the law of marriage, according to the word of the Apostle in the first letter to the Corinthians, chapter seven: "On account of fornication," he says, "let each man have his own wife."✦ "For it is better to marry than to be burned."✦ Whence Solomon says in Proverbs, chapter five: "Rejoice," he says, "with the wife of your youth" — that is, with her whom you married in your youth — so as to live with her so chastely that you know no other woman while she is living.✦ And a little later: "Why," he says, "are you led astray, my son, by another woman, and cherished in the bosom of another?" — namely,✦ by clinging to her, "since you can properly be joined to your own without sin." As Augustine says in book nine on Genesis: "Each sex, inclining toward the ruin of shamefulness, is rightly received into the honorableness of marriage, so that what could have been a duty for the healthy may be a remedy for the sick." Therefore a young man or adolescent who, given the appropriateness of his age, is about to enter marriage ought to be instructed about the conjugal state. And especially about three things, namely:
Choosing a Wife with Discernment
A young man must exercise careful discernment in choosing a wife, considering both her character and his intention, for a good wife is exceedingly rare and the marital bond, once joined, is irrevocable.
He should be instructed about taking a wife, about raising children, and about managing the household and family. On the first point, two things must be applied — namely, discernment.1 In accepting a wife, the following must be considered, namely: what kind of woman is being taken, and with what intention. This is why I say 'what kind' — because, as the philosopher says, a good wife is a rare bird on the earth.2 Hence Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 7: 'I have found one man among a thousand, but among all these I have not found a woman.'✦3 For this reason it is said in Proverbs 19: 'House and riches are given by parents, but a prudent wife is properly from the Lord.'✦4 And in the same book, chapter 31: 'Who can find a strong woman?'✦5 Far off and from the farthest borders is her price.✦ For this reason it is also said in the same book, chapter 18: 'Whoever finds a good woman finds a good thing,' namely because it is rare and precious. For this reason the finding is rightly to be considered a serious matter, and careful discernment is rightly to be applied in choosing a wife, lest you happen to err in something that afterwards you cannot correct. For as Theophrastus says in the Aureolus, there is no longer any testing of a wife once she has been joined to you; but whatever sort she turns out to be, she is to be kept and continually held on to — even if she is quick-tempered, even if foolish, even if ugly, even if proud, even if foul-smelling — and as Fulgentius says in the tenth book of the Nicologiarum, just as nothing is more beneficial than a kind wife, so nothing is more cruelly hostile than a wicked woman. For as much as a wise woman sets forth her own soul as a pledge for her husband's well-being, so much does a wicked woman regard her own life as nothing when it comes to her husband's death. Therefore, the more closely a wife is joined by right, the more she is honey-sweet in the sweetness of her character or poisonous with the gall of malice. She is, in fact, either a perpetual refuge or an everlasting torment.
The Blessings of a Good Wife
A good wife soothes, corrects, and sanctifies her husband; she is his crown and a blessed portion, as Scripture and the example of Saint Cecilia attest.
So Fulgencius. A good wife, indeed, soothes her angry husband, and so she is rightly called a woman — as if 'one who softens her master.' Hence it is said in Ecclesiasticus 26: 'The grace of a diligent woman will delight her husband, and she will make his bones fat.' She also corrects one who is in error and turns back the one who has turned away from God, according to that word of the Apostle in 1 Corinthians 7: 'The unbelieving husband is sanctified through the faithful wife.' On this point there is an example in blessed Cecilia: once betrothed, she promptly converted her betrothed to Christ. Hence of such a woman it is said in Proverbs 12: 'A diligent woman is a crown to her husband.' And since a good wife does these and many other good things for her husband, it is therefore said in Ecclesiasticus 26: 'Blessed is the husband of a good woman.' And after that: 'A good woman is a good portion.'
The Miseries of a Wicked Wife and the Right Intention for Marriage
A wicked wife is worse than any domestic plague, and therefore one must enter marriage not for lust but for offspring or the avoidance of fornication, following Augustine's teaching and the example of Tobias.
On the contrary, Scripture says elsewhere: 'Three things drive a person from their home: smoke, a dripping roof, and a bad wife.' And in Ecclesiasticus 25 it is said: 'It will be more pleasing to dwell with a lion and a dragon than to live with a wicked woman.' It should also be considered with what intention one is to be led into marriage, namely, not for the sake of lust, but for the sake of begetting offspring or of avoiding fornication. For as Augustine says in his book On the Good of Marriage: 'Conjugal honor is chastity in begetting children and faithfulness in rendering the marital debt.' On this point there is an example in Tobias the younger, to whom it was said by the angel, as it is read in Tobias 6: 'Those who undertake marriage in such a way that they shut God out from themselves and from their own mind and give themselves over to their lust, like a horse and a mule, which have no understanding — over these the demon has power.' But you, when you have received her, be abstinent from her for three days, et cetera.' And afterward in the same place, chapter 8, the same Tobias is read to have said in his prayer to the Lord: 'You know, Lord, that I take my sister not for the sake of lust, but out of love for posterity alone, in which your name may be blessed forever and ever.'
Loving and Treating a Wife with Chastity and Honor
A husband must love his wife chastely—not with the blind passion of an adulterer—and treat her honorably as a companion, not a servant, keeping the marriage bed undefiled according to the Apostle.
In the same way, living with a wife comes down to two things: how she is to be loved, and how she is to be treated. For she must be loved chastely, as a wife, not as an adulteress — just as was said above, according to that saying of Sextus the Pythagorean in his Sentences: 'He is an adulterer,' he says, 'who is a more ardent lover of his own wife.'6 In another man's wife, every love is shameful; in one's own, excessive love is. On this point, Jerome writes against Jovinian: 'Seneca,' he says, 'reported that he had known a certain well-groomed man who, when about to go out in public, would bind his chest with his wife's sash and couldn't bear to be without her for even a single moment.'7 What's more, neither husband nor wife would drink from any cup unless it had been touched by the other's lips, and they did other equally foolish things, in which the reckless force of burning love would burst forth. 'The origin of their love was honorable,' that is to say,8 conjugal, 'but the degree of it was deformed.'9 But it makes no difference for what respectable reason anyone acts the fool. . . A wise person, then, ought to love their wife with sound judgment, not with blind passion. . . For nothing is more shameful than to love your wife as though she were an adulteress. . . But what a shameful thing! They are the very ones who demand chastity of their wives while at the same time taking it away from them. And so, with marriages of this kind, boredom quickly breaks them apart. This is from Jerome. He also ought to treat her honorably and chastely, according to the Apostle's words to the Hebrews, chapter 13: 'Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled.'✦ Honorably, I say, he ought to treat her — that is to say, so that he does not regard her as worthless, like a servant-girl, but as honorable, like a companion.
The Purpose of Marriage: Procreation and the Example of the Fathers
The chief end of marriage is the procreation of children, as Genesis teaches, and children must be lovingly received, kindly nurtured, and religiously educated, following Augustine and the example of Abraham.
For this reason it is said that woman was not made from the head or the feet of man, but from his side, so that by this it may be understood that she ought to be neither mistress nor handmaid, but companion.✦ He should also treat her with purity — that is, — so that he desires physical union with her neither in an improper place, nor at an improper time, nor in an improper way. Whence Peter says in his first letter, chapter 3: 'Husbands, live with your wives according to knowledge, showing honor to the weaker, female vessel, as also to co-heirs of your grace.'✦10 Second, regarding what he should be taught — namely, Concerning the receiving of offspring, one must know that he ought to aim at this especially, both in its conception and in its carnal union, just as was said above concerning the younger Tobias, since this was the first and chief cause in the institution of marriage, Scripture saying in Genesis chapter 1: 'Male and female he created them, and God blessed them and said, "Increase and multiply," etc.'✦ And afterward, in the following chapter: 'It is not,' he says, 'good for man to be alone; let us make him a helper similar to himself'—namely,✦ for the procreation of children. And so, as Augustine says against Faustus, 'The eternal law, consulting the natural order for its preservation, does not permit the dominion of mortal flesh to be relaxed into lust, but rather looks to the welfare of the human race — and allows it solely for the purpose of begetting children.' Hence Abraham too, keeping the order of nature, even when he lay with a servant woman, was doing nothing other than seeing to it that a child be born.✦ Thus far Augustine. In the matter of children, then — as the same Augustine says on Genesis — 'right attention is given so that they be lovingly received, kindly nurtured, and religiously educated.' Concerning love of a good wife and of children, Solomon's words in Proverbs are to be understood.✦ In chapter five: 'A most beloved doe and a graceful fawn' — that is, let that most beloved wife be yours, who, like a doe, pursues adulterers as a doe chases serpents.✦ And let the son born of her, a lover of chastity, be most pleasing to you — one who, like a fawn, is nimble toward what is good, keen-sighted in the vision of faith, and distinguished by a variety of virtues.✦ But concerning these matters and the other things that pertain to the goods of marriage, a fuller treatment was given above in the second book of this work, where the reverence of this Sacrament was discussed.
Governing the Household with Virtue, Not Vanity
A good householder adorns his home by his own character rather than by costly furnishings, and his dignity must shine in his domestic life as much as in public, according to Cicero, Seneca, and Valerius Maximus.
Furthermore, on the third point about which a young man about to marry ought to be instructed — that is, on the governance of a household and the management of a family, or rather of the persons and belongings that make up a household — it must be understood above all that a good head of household illuminates and adorns his house and his entire household by his own good character and conduct, certainly, rather than by costly materials or outward appearances, just as is also clearly evident from the sayings of the philosophers. For example, Cicero in book one of On Duty: 'A man's dignity should be adorned by his house, but the whole house should not be sought out for the sake of dignity; nor should the master be known by his house, but the house should be honored by its master.'11 Likewise Seneca in the book On the Four Virtues: 'wholesomely —'12 .13 .14 '...having been taken into account — nor should you wish the master to be known from the house, but the house from its master.'15 The same author, in his fifth letter to Lucilius: 'Let the person who enters our house admire us rather than our furnishings.' 'Great is the person who uses earthenware just as he would silver, and no less is the person who uses silver just as he would earthenware.' So says Seneca. On the other hand, Tully says to Sallust: 'Nothing is more shameful to your household than you yourself.' And yet, as Valerius Maximus says in book two: 'What good is it to be vigorous in public, if one lives badly at home?' For when their efforts are seen to have achieved their splendor only at a distance, it's unworthy and disgraceful for their dignity to collapse at home.
Hospitality, Charity, and the Stewardship of Worldly Goods
A householder must love and care for his household, practice generous hospitality to strangers and the poor, welcome guests without regard for rank, and faithfully increase, preserve, and prudently distribute his resources, following the Apostle, Cicero, Lactantius, and the Lord's own words in Luke.
He should pay attention to persons, so that he loves and advances his household members, according to that passage of the Apostle in the first letter to Timothy, chapter five: 'If anyone does not take care of his own, and especially of his household members, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever,' and that passage from Ecclesiasticus, chapter four: 'Do not be like a lion in your house, overthrowing your household members.'✦ Let him receive outsiders cheerfully and courteously, according to that passage of the Apostle to the Romans, chapter twelve: 'pursue hospitality,' and that passage to the Hebrews, chapter thirteen: 'Let the love of brotherhood remain among you; for by this some have pleased angels, having received them as guests.'✦✦ Hence also Tully, where he wrote above: 'In the house of a distinguished man,' he says, 'many guests must be received, and a multitude of people of every kind must be admitted, and the care of generosity must be applied.' Otherwise, surely, a spacious house would be a disgrace if there's emptiness in it, and especially if under another master it used to be frequented. It's hateful when people passing by say: 'O ancient house, alas, how different the master you're ruled by!' The same author, in book two of the same work, says: 'It is altogether fitting that the houses of illustrious men stand open to distinguished guests.' That's Cicero. And people are called illustrious not only when they're endowed with riches and power or the honor of this world, but rather when they're conspicuous for justice and goodness — even if they're poor and lowly. Hence Lactantius, in his book On True Worship, says: 'The house of a just and wise man ought not to stand open to the illustrious — that is, to the wealthy and powerful in this world — but to the humble and the lowly.' . . For there is nothing that should be done by a just man that is not an act of kindness. But if a kindness is repaid, it vanishes and is done. So he says. That agrees with the saying spoken by the Lord in the Gospel, Luke fourteen: 'When you give a lunch or a dinner, don't invite your friends or your rich neighbors, lest perhaps they invite you back in return and it become repayment to you.'✦1617 But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the weak, the blind, and the lame, and you'll be blessed, because they have nothing with which to repay you.✦ For it will be repaid to you at the resurrection of the just.'✦18 In short, when it comes to managing a household, a person must be taught to skillfully and faithfully increase his resources and worldly possessions, cautiously preserve them, and prudently distribute them.
Read the original Latin
Quia uero, sicut predictum est, in etate adolescencie maxime ingerere solet auctor concupiscencie, regendus est impetus ille conubij lege, iuxta illud apostoli Ia ad corinthios vii: ‘propter fornicationes,’ inquit, ‘unusquisque uxorem suam habeat. melius est enim nubere quam uri.’ unde salomon in prouerbiis v: ‘letare,’ inquit, ‘cum muliere adolescencie tue,’ id est cum illa quam in adolescencia tua duxisti, tam caste conuersare, ut aliam non cognoscas ipsa viuente.’ unde et paulo post: ‘Quare,’ inquit, ‘seduceris, fili mi, ab aliena et foueris in sinu alterius,’ sc. ei adherendo, ‘cum tue proprie iungi possis absque peccato.’ ut enim dicit augustinus libro ix super genesim, ‘uterque sexus propendens in ruinam turpitudinis recte excipitur honestate nupciarum, ut, quod potuisset esse sanis officium, sit egrotis remedium.’ Itaque iuuenis uel adolescens, qui pro etatis congruencia coniugium initurus est, de coniugali statu instruendus est. Et maxime de tribus, videl.
de ducenda uxore, de suscipienda prole, de regimine domus atque familie. Super primo in duobus adhibenda est discrecio, sc. in uxoris accepcione consideranda sunt, sc. qualis ducatur et qua intencione. Ideo inquam qualis, quia bona uxor, ut dicit philosophus, rara auis est in terris. unde salomon in ecclesiaste vii, ‘virum,’ inquit, ‘unum de mille repperi, mulierem ex omnibus non inueni.’ Ideo dicitur in prouerbiis xix: ‘Domus et diuicie dantur a parentibus, a domino autem proprie uxor prudens.’ Et in eodem xxxi: ‘mulierem fortem quis inueniet?
procul et de ultimis finibus precium eius.’ propter hoc etiam dicitur in eodem xviii: ‘Qui inuenit mulierem bonam, inuenit bonum,’ sc. quod rarum est et carum. Ideo merito reputanda est inuentio, recteque in eligenda uxore diligens adhibenda est prouisio, ne contingat errare in eo quod postea non possis emendare. Nam ut dicit theophrastus in aureolo, nulla est iam uxoris coniuncte probatio, ‘sed qualisconque obuenerit, est habenda et iugiter retinenda, etiam si iraconda, si fatua, si deformis, si superba, si fetida,’ et ut dicit fulgencius in libro nicologiarum io, ‘sicut nichil benigna utilius coniuge, sic nichil infesta crudelius muliere. Quantum enim sapiens pro uiri salute suam opponit animam pignori, tantum maligna ad mortem mariti eciam vitam suam reputat nichili. Ergo coniunx quanto est iure coniunctior, tantum est ad morum dulcedine mellea aut felle malicie toxica. Est quippe aut perpetuale refugium aut perhenne tormentum.’
Hec fulgencius. Bona siquidem uxor uirum mitigat iratum et ideo proprie dicitur mulier quasi molliens herum. unde dicitur in ecclesiastico xxvi: ‘gracia mulieris sedule delectabit virum suum et ossa ipsius impingabit.’ Errantem quoque corrigit et auersum a deo conuertit, iuxta illud apostoli prima ad corinthios vii: ‘Sanctificatus est uir infidelis per mulierem fidelem.’ Super hoc in beata cecilia habetur exemplum, que sponsata mox sponsum conuertit ad christum. unde de tali dicitur in prouerbiis xii: ‘Mulier diligens corona est viro suo.’ Et quoniam hec et alia plura bona facit uxor bona marito, ideo dicitur in ecclesiastico xxvi: ‘mulieris bone beatus vir.’ Et post, ‘pars bona mulier bona.’
Econtra uero dicit alibi scriptura: ‘Tria expellunt hominem de domo, fumus, stillicidium et mala uxor.’ hinc et in ecclesiastico dicitur xxv: ‘Conmorari leoni et draconi placebit quam habitare cum muliere nequam.’ Considerandum est etiam, qua intencione ducenda sit, ut uidel. non causa luxurie sed prolis procreande uel fornicationis euitande. ut enim dicit augustinus in libro de bono coniugali, ‘decus coniugale castitas est procreandi ac fides reddendi carnalis debiti.’ Super hoc exemplum habetur in thobia iuniore, cui dictum est ab angelo, sicut legitur in thobia vi: ‘Hii, qui coniugium ita suscipiunt, ut deum a se et a sua mente excludant et libidini sue vaccent, sicut equus et mulus, quibus non est intellectus, in hiis habet potestatem demonium. Tu autem cum acceperis eam, per tres dies continens esto ab ea etc.’ et post ibidem viii legitur idem thobias in oracione sua dixisse domino: ‘Tu scis, domine, quia non luxurie causa accipio sororem meam, sed sola posteritatis dilectione, in qua benedicatur nomen tuum in secula seculorum.’
Similiter in uxoris cohabitacione duo sunt attendenda, videl. qualiter diligenda sit et qualiter tractanda. diligenda est enim pudice tanquam uxor, non tanquam adultera, sicut alias dictum est supra iuxta illud sexti pytagorici in sentenciis: ‘Adulter,’ inquit, ‘est in uxorem propriam amator ardencior.’ In aliena quippe uxore turpis est omnis amor, in sua nimius. Super hoc narrat Jeronimus contra iouinianum: ‘Refert,’ inquit, ‘seneca se cognouisse quemdam hominem ornatum, qui exiturus in publicum fascia uxoris pectus colligabat et ne puncto quidem hore presencia eius carere poterat. Pocionem quoque nullam nisi tactis alterius labiis vir et uxor hauriebant et alia non minus inepta, in que improuida uis ardentis amoris erumpebat, faciebant. origo quidem amoris honesta erat,’ quia sc. coniugalis, ‘sed magnitudo deformis.
Nichil autem interest, ex qua honesta causa quis insaniat . . . Sapiens ergo iudicio debet amare coniugem, non affectu . . . Nichil enim est fedius quam uxorem amare quasi adulteram . .
. Sed o rem improbam! Idem illis pudiciciam precipiunt, qui et auferunt. Itaque cito eiusmodi nupcias soluit sacietas.’ Hec ieronimus. Tractare quoque debet eam honorifice et caste, secundum illud apostoli ad hebreos xiii: ‘honorabile sit connubium in omnibus et thorus immaculatus.’ Honorifice, inquam, debet illam tractare, sc. ut non habeat illam uilem quasi famulam, sed honorabilem quasi sociam.
Propter hoc enim dicitur, mulier non facta esse de capite uel pedibus uiri sed de latere, ut per hoc detur intelligi, quod nec domina, nec ancilla, sed socia debet esse. Caste quoque debet illam tractare, sc. ut nec loco nec tempore nec modo indebito uelit cum ea carnalem copulam exercere. unde dicit petrus in prima iii: ‘viri, cohabitate uxoribus uestris secundum scienciam, quasi infirmiori uasculo muliebri imparcientes honorem tanquam et coheredibus gracie uestre.’ Secundo, in quo debet instrui, sc. de prolis suscepcione, sciendum quod ad hoc precipue debet tendere et in eius acceptione et in eius carnali cohabitacione, sicut dictum est supra de thobia iuniore, quoniam hec prima et precipua fuit causa in matrimonij institucione scriptura dicente in genesi i: ‘masculum et feminam creauit eos, benedixitque illis deus et dixit: “Crescite et multiplicamini etc.” ’ Et post in sequenti capitulo, ‘Non est,’ inquit, ‘bonum hominem esse solum; faciamus ei adiutorium simile sibi,’ sc. ad procreacionem liberorum.
Itaque, sicut dicit augustinus contra faustum, ‘Lex eterna conseruando naturali consulens ordini non ut saciende libidini seruiatur, sed ut saluti generis prospiciatur ad prolem tantummodo propagandam mortalis carnis dominatu racionis in concubitum sinit relaxari. unde et abraham nature ordinem seruans etiam cum ancille conmisceretur, nichil aliud agebat, nisi ut homo nasceretur.’ hec augustinus. In prole ergo, sicut dicit augustinus idem super genesim, ‘recte attenditur, ut amanter suscipiatur, benigne nutriatur, religiose educetur.’ De dilectione bone uxoris et prolis intelligitur illud salomonis in prouerb. quinto: ‘Cerua karissima et gratissimus hynnulus,’ hoc est, illa coniunx karissima tibi habeatur, que sic fornicatores sicut cerua serpentes prosequitur. Et filius ex illa natus castitatis amator sit tibi gratissimus, qui ad modum hynnuli ad bona est agilis, uisu fidei perspicax, uirtutum uarietate distinctus. De hiis autem ac ceteris, que pertinent ad bona coniugij, plenius dictum est superius in secundo huius operis libro, ubi actum est de reuerencia huius sacramenti.
Porro de tercio, in quo debet adholescens nupturus instrui, hoc est de regimine domus ac dispensatione familie siue personarum ac rerum familiarium, ante omnia sciendum, quod bonus paterfamilias domum suam totamque familiam suis utique bonis moribus et actibus pocius quam preciosis materiebus aut speciebus illustrat et ornat, sicut etiam ex philosophorum dictis liquido constat. verbi gracia Tullius de officio i: ‘Ornanda est dignitas domo, non ex domo tota querenda est, nec domo dominus, sed domino domus honestanda est.’ Item seneca in libro de quatuor uirtutibus: ‘salubriter . . . habita, nec dominum uelis esse notum a domo, sed domum a domino.’ Idem ad lucillium epistola va: ‘Qui domum intrauerit, nos pocius miretur quam supellectilem nostram. Magnus ille est, qui fictilibus sic utitur quomodo argento, nec ille minor est, qui sic argento utitur quomodo fictilibus.’
hec seneca. Econtra uero dicit tullius salustio: ‘Non est quicquam turpius domui tue quam tuipse.’ uerum ut dicit valerius maximus libro ii: ‘Quid prodest foris esse strenuum, si domi male uiuitur.’ Quorum enim opera splendorem suum procul obtinuisse uidentur, eorum dignitatem indignum est ac deforme domi collabi. Circa personas debet attendere, ut domesticos diligat et promoueat, iuxta illud apostoli in prima ad thymotheum v: ‘Si quis suorum et maxime domesticorum curam non habet, fidem negauit et est infideli deterior,’ et illud ecclesiastici iiii: ‘Noli esse quasi leo in domo tua, euertens domesticos tuos.’ Extraneos autem hylariter ac curialiter recipiat, iuxta illud apostoli ad romanos xii: ‘hospitalitatem sectantes,’ et illud ad hebreos xiii: ‘Caritas fraternitatis maneat in uobis, per hanc enim placuerunt quidam angelis hospicio receptis.’ hinc et tullius ubi supra: ‘In domo,’ inquit, ‘hominis clari hospites multi recipiendi sunt et admittenda hominum multitudo cuiusque generis atque adhibenda est cura largitatis. Aliter nimirum ampla domus sit dedecori, si est in ea solitudo, et maxime, si sub alio domino solita est frequentari.
Odiosum est enim, cum a pretereuntibus dicitur: “O domus antiqua, heu quam dispari domino dominaris.” ’ Idem ibidem libro ii, ‘Decorum est,’ inquit, ‘valde domos illustrium uirorum illustribus hospitibus patere.’ hec tullius. Et uocantur illustres uiri non modo diuiciis et potencia uel honore seculi prediti sed magis iusticia et bonitate conspicuj, etiam si pauperes sint et abiecti. unde lactancius in libro de uero cultu: ‘Non,’ inquit, ‘illustribus,’ id est diuitibus ac potentibus in seculo, ‘debet patere domus iusti et sapientis sed humilibus et abiectis . . . Nichil enim est a uiro iusto faciendum, quod non sit beneficium.
Beneficium autem, si refertur, interit ac finitur.’ hec ille. cui consonat illud in euangelio dictum a domino luce xiiii: ‘Cum facis prandium aut cenam, noli uocare amicos tuos neque vicinos diuites, ne forte et ipsi reinuitent te et fiat tibi retribucio. Sed cum facis conuiuium, uoca pauperes, debiles, cecos, claudos, et beatus eris, quia non habent unde retribuere tibi. Retribuetur enim tibi in retributione iustorum.’ Denique circa rei familiaris administracionem instruendus est, ut res ipsas siue possessiones temporales sollerter ac fideliter multiplicet, caute conseruet, prudenter dispenset.
Scripture echoes
- ↩1Cor.7.2 — But because of sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
- ↩1Cor.7.9 — But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn.
- ↩Prov.5.18 — Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth.
- ↩Prov.5.20 — And why, my son, would you stray after a foreign woman, and embrace the bosom of an alien?
- ↩Eccl.7.28 — Which my soul still seeks, but I have not found: one man among a thousand I have found, but a woman among all these I have not found.
- ↩Prov.19.14 — A house and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.
- ↩Prov.31.10 — An excellent wife—who can find? Her worth is far beyond pearls.
- ↩Prov.31.10 — An excellent wife—who can find? Her worth is far beyond pearls.
- ↩Heb.13.4 — Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
- ↩Gen.2.18-Gen.2.22 — Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.' Gen.2.19 — And the LORD God formed from the ground every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. Gen.2.20 — So the man gave names to all the livestock, to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field; but for the man himself, no helper corresponding to him was found." Match v.18 wording for thematic force. Gen.2.21 — So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Gen.2.22 — And the LORD God built the rib that He had taken from the man into a woman, and brought her to the man.
- ↩1Pet.3.7 — Husbands, in the same way live with your wives according to knowledge, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since you are also joint heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
- ↩Gen.1.27-Gen.1.28 — So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Gen.1.28 — And God blessed them, and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves upon the earth.'
- ↩Gen.2.18 — Then the LORD God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.'
- ↩Gen.16.1-Gen.16.4 — Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. She had an Egyptian servant whose name was Hagar. Gen.16.2 — So Sarai said to Abram, "Look, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children. Please go in to my maidservant; perhaps I will be built up through her." And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. Gen.16.3 — So Sarai, Abram's wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her servant-girl, at the end of ten years of Abram's living in the land of Canaan, and gave her to Abram her husband as his wife. Gen.16.4 — He went in to Hagar, and she conceived. And when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.
- ↩Prov.5.18-Prov.5.19 — Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. Prov.5.19 — A lovely doe, a graceful deer — let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be intoxicated with her love always.
- ↩Prov.5.19 — A lovely doe, a graceful deer — let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be intoxicated with her love always.
- ↩Prov.5.19 — A lovely doe, a graceful deer — let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be intoxicated with her love always.
- ↩1Tim.5.8 — But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
- ↩Rom.12.13 — Contribute to the needs of the saints, pursuing hospitality.
- ↩Heb.13.1-Heb.13.2 — Let brotherly love continue. Heb.13.2 — Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have entertained angels without knowing it.
- ↩Luke.14.12-Luke.14.14 — He also said to the one who had invited him, "When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not call your friends, your brothers, your relatives, or rich neighbors, lest they also invite you back, and a repayment be made to you. Luke.14.13 — But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind. Luke.14.14 — And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.
- ↩Luke.14.13-Luke.14.14 — But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind. Luke.14.14 — And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.
- ↩Luke.14.14 — And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.
Notes
- 1 ↩discretio rendered as 'discernment' in the sense of careful judgment, not merely 'distinction' between things.
- 2 ↩The proverb 'rara avis in terris' is attributed here to 'the philosopher,' likely a classical commonplace rather than a specific named source.
- 3 ↩Quotation from Ecclesiastes 7:28 (Vulgate numbering). Moses resolution pending.
- 4 ↩Quotation from Proverbs 19:14 (Vulgate). Moses resolution pending.
- 5 ↩Quotation from Proverbs 31:10 (Vulgate). Moses resolution pending.
- 6 ↩The Pythagorean maxim redefines adultery not as unfaithfulness to a spouse but as excessive passion toward one's own wife — a moral-spiritual, not merely legal, category.
- 7 ↩The anecdote from Jerome's Adversus Jovinianum illustrates excessive conjugal attachment as a moral failing, even within a legitimate marriage.
- 8 ↩The Latin breaks off with an abbreviation 'sc' (scilicet), suggesting the quotation is incomplete in the source. The translation preserves the truncated state.
- 9 ↩This is the continuation of the Jerome quotation begun in s7. The Latin is grammatically complete here: the origin was honorable (conjugal love), but the excess was unseemly.
- 10 ↩imparcientes (rare verb) rendered as 'showing' based on candidate gloss; the sense is 'assigning/sharing honor.'
- 11 ↩The Latin quotation is from Cicero's De Officiis, not Scripture. Rendered as a classical philosophical citation.
- 12 ↩The Latin quotation is truncated after 'salubriter' with no further text supplied. The translation reflects only what is present in the normalized source.
- 13 ↩The source supplies only a bare period with no Latin content. No translation is possible.
- 14 ↩The source supplies only a bare period with no Latin content. No translation is possible.
- 15 ↩The quotation is incomplete: it begins with 'habita' (likely an ablative absolute, 'having been considered/had') and lacks an opening. The word 'habita' is truncated from a fuller phrase. Translation renders the most plausible intended sense.
- 16 ↩Gospel quotation attributed to 'luce xiiii' (Luke 14). The quoted material corresponds to Luke 14:12–14. Final scripture resolution deferred to tx-08 Moses stage.
- 17 ↩The source reads 'luce xiiii' — 'luce' is likely a corruption or unusual form for 'Luca' (Luke). The chapter reference (14) is clear from context.
- 18 ↩Closing line of the Gospel quotation, corresponding to Luke 14:14b ('in the resurrection of the just'). Final scripture resolution deferred to tx-08 Moses stage.
De eruditione filiorum nobilium (On the Education of Noble Children) companion
Formation starts with the parents' own practice
Model a daily devotional habit your children can see — Chosen Portion makes it a free 10-minute routine.
Vincent taught that children are formed by the daily practices of their household; Chosen Portion gives parents the daily devotional practice that anchors that household rhythm.
- A short daily devotional you can read before the kids wake up
- Family-friendly portions from the same historic tradition Vincent drew on
- Build a visible 30-day habit your children can imitate