Jordan (II)
The Poet's Ornate Labor
The poet struggles to find rich, inventive language to describe heavenly joys, crossing out inadequate attempts.
When my lines first made mention of heavenly joys, such was their luster—they so excelled—that I sought out ingenious words and polished invention. My thoughts began to polish, sprout, and swell, curling a plain intention with metaphors, dressing up the meaning as if it were for sale.1 Thousands of ideas raced through my mind, offering to serve me if I wasn't already provided for. I often crossed out what I'd started—this one wasn't lively enough, that one was dead. Nothing could seem too rich to clothe the sun, let alone those joys that trample on his head.
The Whisper of Simplicity
A friend's whisper reveals that the poet's elaborate efforts are misguided, and the true sweetness of love is already written.
Just as flames twist and dance as they rise, I wove myself into the meaning.2 But as I bustled about, I heard a friend whisper, "How far off the mark is all this long pretense!"3 There is a sweetness in love that has already been written; just copy that out and save yourself the trouble.
Read the original English
WHen first my lines of heav'nly joyes made mention, Such was their lustre, they did so excell, That I sought out quaint words, and trim invention: My thoughts began to burnish, sprout, and swell, Curling with metaphors a plain intention, Decking the sense, as if it were to sell.
Thousands of notions in my brain did runne, Off'ring their service, if I were not sped: I often blotted what I had begunne; This was not quick enough, and that was dead. Nothing could seem too rich to clothe the sunne, Much lesse those joyes which trample on his head.
As flames do work and winde, when they ascend, So did I weave my self into the sense. But while I bustled, I might heare a friend Whisper, How wide is all this long pretence! There is in love a sweetnesse readie penn'd: Copie out onely that, and save expense.
Notes
- 1 ↩Early modern 'quaint' means artful/ingenious, not old-fashioned; rendered as 'ingenious' to preserve Herbert's sense of self-conscious poetic craft.
- 2 ↩winde = wind/twist (coiling motion of ascending flame), not weather-wind; sense = the meaning/substance of the poem.
- 3 ↩wide is taken in the early-modern sense 'astray / wide of the mark'; pretence means showy artifice, not mere hypocrisy.
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