The thre and fifty chapitre. Of diverse unseemly continaunces that folowen hem that lacken the werk of this book.

The Ungodly Bearing of the Deceived

This pericope describes the unseemly mannerisms—stareing, gaping, piping, and crying—that characterize those deceived in false contemlation, contrasting them with God's true disciples.

Many strange mannerisms accompany those who are deceived in this false work, or in any of its varieties—unlike the behavior of God's true disciples, for they are always entirely proper in all their ways, whether bodily or spiritual.¹ But it's not so with these others. For anyone who looked at them sitting there, if their eyelids were open, would see them stare as if they were mad, and look askance as if they saw the devil.² Certainly it's good that they are on their guard; for truly the devil is not far off. Some roll their eyes back in their heads as if they were dazed sheep beaten on the head, and as if they were about to die at once.³ Some hang their heads to one side, as if a worm were in their ears. Some squeak when they should speak, as if there were no spirit in their bodies; and this is the proper condition of a hypocrite.⁴ Some cry and whine in their throat, they are so greedy and hasty to say what they think; and this is the condition of heretics and of those who, with presumption and overly curious cleverness, will always maintain error.⁵

Hypocrisy and the Nearness of the Fiend

This pericope reveals the hidden hypocrity and self-deception behind these unseemly behaviors, waring that they lead towad madness and the devil unless divine mercy intervnes.

Many disordered and unseemly behaviors follow from this error, for anyone who could see them all. Still, there are some who are so crafty that they can mostly restrain themselves when they come before people.⁶ But if these men could be seen where they're at home and at ease, then I believe they wouldn't stay hidden.⁷ And even so, I still believe that if anyone firmly opposed their opinion, they'd soon see them burst out somehow; and yet they think that everything they ever do is for the love of God and to uphold the truth. Now truly I expect that unless God shows His merciful miracle to make them stop soon, they will love God so long in this way that they'll go stark mad to the devil.⁸ I'm not saying the devil has so perfect a servant in this life—someone deceived and infected with all these fantasies I've set down here. And even so, it may still be that one person—yes, and many a one—is infected with them all. But I say he has no perfect hypocrite or heretic on earth who isn't guilty of some of what I've said—or perhaps will say, if God grants it.

Idle Gestures and Lost Compoure

This pericope ctalogs further unseemly bodily gestres—turning the head, pointing, restlessness, rowing arms, and foolish laghter—and cntrasts them with the seemly compoure of sobr and mesured mirth.

For some people are so tangled up in foolish, showy mannerisms of bodily bearing that when they have something to hear, they twist their heads oddly to one side and lift their chins; they gape with their mouths as if they were meant to hear with them, and not with their ears.⁹ Some, when they speak, point with their fingers, or on their fingers, or on their own chests, or on those of the people they're speaking to. Some can neither sit still, stand still, nor lie still, unless they're either wagging their feet or else doing something with their hands. Some row with their arms while they speak, as if they needed to swim across a great stretch of water. Some are forever smiling and laughing at every other word they speak, as if they were giggling fools and vain, joking jesters without composure.¹⁰ Proper composure would go with sober and demure bearing of the body, and with mirth kept in measure.¹¹

Signs of an Unstable Hart

This pericope explins that these unseemly mannisms are sign of pride, a restles mind, and the absence of the work of this book, and sttes the purpose of desribing them: to llow a spiritul worker to test his own work.

I'm not saying that all these unseemly manners are great sins in themselves, nor yet that all who do them are great sinners themselves. But I do say that if these unseemly and disordered manners have mastery over the person who does them, so much that he can't leave them off when he wants to, then I say they are signs of pride and curious cleverness, and of disordered showing off and a craving to know.¹² And especially they are true signs of an unstable heart and a restless mind, and above all of lacking the work of this book. And this is the only reason I've set down so many of these deceptions here in this writing: so that a spiritual worker can test his work by them.¹³

Read the original Middle English

Many wonderful contenaunces folowen hem that ben disseyvid in this fals werk, or in any spice therof, forby that doth hem that ben Goddes trewe disciples; for thei ben evermore ful semely in alle here contenaunces, bodily or goostly. Bot it is not so of thees other. For whoso wolde or might beholde unto hem ther thei sitte in this tyme, and it so were that theire igheliddes were open, he schulde see hem stare as thei were wode, and leighingly loke as thei sawe the devil. Sekirly it is good thei be ware; for trewly the feende is not fer. Som sette theire ighen in theire hedes as thei were sturdy scheep betyn in the heed, and as thei schulde dighe anone. Som hangen here hedes on syde, as a worme were in theire eres. Som pipyn when thei schuld speke, as ther were no spirit in theire bodies; and this is the propre condicion of an ypocrite. Som crien and whinen in theire throte, so ben thei gredy and hasty to sey that thei think; and this is the condicion of heretikes and of hem that with presumpcion and with curiousté of witte wil alweys meynteyn errour.

Many unordeynde and unsemely contenaunces folowen on this errour, whoso mighte parceyve alle. Nevertheles, som ther ben that ben so curious that thei kun refreyne hem in grete partye whan thei comen before men. Bot might thees men be seen in place where thei ben homely, then I trowe thei schuld not be hidde. And nevertheles yit I trowe that whoso wolde streitly geinsey theire opynion, that thei schuld sone see hem brest oute in som partye; and yit hem think that alle that ever thei do, it is for the love of God and for to meynteyne the treuth. Now trewly I hope that bot yif God schewe His merciful miracle to make hem sone leve of, thei schul love God so longe on this maner that thei schul go staryng wood to the devil. I sey not that the devil hath so parfite a servaunt in this liif, that is desceyvid and infecte with alle thees fantasies that I sette here. And nevertheles yit it may be that one, ye and many one, be infecte with hem alle. Bot I sey that he hath no parfite ypocrite ne heretike in erthe, that he ne is gilty in somme that I have seide, or paraventure schal sey, yif God vouchethsaaf.

For som men aren so kumbred in nice corious contenaunces in bodily beryng, that whan thei schal ought here, thei writhen here hedes onside queyntely, and up with the chin; thei gape with theire mouthes as thei schuld here with hem, and not with here eres. Som, when thei schulen speke, poynten with here fyngres, or on theire fyngres, or on theire owne brestes, or on theires that thei speke to. Som kan nouther sit stille, stonde stylle, ne ligge stille, bot yif thei be outher waggyng with theire fete, or elles sumwhat doyng with theire handes. Som rowyn with theire armes in tyme of here spekyng, as hem nedid for to swymme over a grete water. Som ben evermore smyling and leighing at iche other worde that thei speke, as thei weren gigelotes and nice japyng jogelers lackyng kontenaunce. Semeli cher were with sobre and demure beryng of body and mirthe in maner.

I say not that alle thees unsemely contenaunces ben grete synnes in hemself, ne yit alle thoo that done hem ben grete synners hemself. Bot I sey if that thees unsemely and unordeinde contenaunces ben governers of that man that doth hem, insomochel that he may not leve hem whan he wile: than I sey that thei ben tokenes of pride and coryousté of witte, and of unordeynde schewyng and covetise of knowyng. And specyaly thei ben verrei tokenes of unstabelnes of herte and unrestfulnes of mynde, and namely of the lackyng of the werk of this book. And this is only the skile whi that I set so many of thees disceytes here in this writyng, for whi that a goostly worcher schal prove his werk by hem.

Notes

1 ↩ME 'wonderful' here means astonishing/strange, not admirable; context and the chapter's 'unseemly continaunces' support that sense. 'Spice' = species/kind.
2 ↩ME 'leighingly' most plausibly = awry/askance (looking askew); less likely 'laughingly'. Rendered as 'look askance' from the accompanying 'as if they saw the devil'.
3 ↩ME 'sturdy' of sheep = giddy/stunned (from the brain disease called sturdy/gid), not 'sturdy' in the modern sense of strong.
4 ↩ME 'pipyn' = speak in a thin, whistling, piping voice.
5 ↩ME 'curiousté of witte' is pejorative restless/speculative cleverness, not wholesome intellectual interest; rendered 'overcurious cleverness'.
6 ↩ME 'curious' here means crafty or carefully managed about appearances, not inquisitive.
7 ↩ME 'homely' means in a familiar/private setting among their own, not 'plain-looking'.
8 ↩ME 'hope' here carries the sense of grim expectation rather than cheerful wishing; rendered 'expect'.
9 ↩ME nice here means foolish/vain, not pleasant; corious contenaunces are affected, over-curious mannerisms of bearing.
10 ↩gigelotes (giglots): giddy, wanton gigglers; jogelers: jesters/jugglers. kontenaunce here means composure/proper bearing.
11 ↩Elliptical ME Semeli cher were with... states the corrective ideal after the catalogue of unseemly manners: proper cheer/bearing joined to sober carriage and moderated mirth.
12 ↩coryousté of witte rendered as curious cleverness: the pejorative medieval sense of restless intellectual curiosity, not healthy wonder.
13 ↩skile rendered as reason; prove as test/examine, not merely demonstrate success.

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