We cannot knowen ourself in this life but be feith and grace, but we must know ourself synners; and how God is never wreth, being most nere the soule, it kepyng. Forty-sixth chapter.
Longing for Full Self-Knowledge
In this life we cannot fully know ourselves, but nature and grace teach us to long for the fullness of endless joy.
But this passing life we have here in our sensuality doesn't know what we ourselves are.1 Then we will truly and clearly see and know our Lord God in the fullness of joy. And therefore it must necessarily be that the nearer we are to our bliss, the more we will long — and that both by nature and by grace. We may have knowledge of ourselves in this life by the continual help and virtue of our high nature, and in that knowledge we may increase and grow by the furthering and advancing of mercy and grace.2 But we can never fully know ourselves down to the last point — the point at which this temporary life and this kind of pain and woe will come to an end. And therefore it is fitting for us, both by nature and by grace, to long and desire with all our strength to know ourselves in the fullness of endless joy.
Two Manners of Beholding
Julian describes two concurrent ways of seeing: the endless, continuous love of the showing and the common teaching of Holy Church, which together confirm that we are sinners yet never stir from the truth.
Yet all through this time, from beginning to end, I had two ways of seeing things. One was endless, continuous love, with certain protection and blissful salvation.3 For the entire showing was about this. The other was the common teaching of Holy Church, in which I'd already been instructed and grounded, and which I willingly kept in practice and understanding.4 And this way of seeing didn't come from me. For by the showing I was not stirred or led away from it in any point at all; instead, in it I had teaching to love it and delight in it, so that by the help of our Lord and His grace I might increase and rise to more heavenly knowing and higher loving.5 And so, in all this seeing, it seemed to me that we must of necessity see and know that we are sinners, and do many evils we ought to leave undone, and leave many good deeds undone that we ought to do, and for that we deserve pain and wrath.6
God Is Never Angry
God, being goodness itself, cannot be angry; our soul is so united to Him that there is neither wrath nor anything between them.
And despite all this, I truly saw that our Lord was never angry, and never will be. For He is God: goodness, life, truth, love, and peace.✦7 His charity and His unity do not allow Him to be angry.8 For I truly saw that it is against the nature of power to be angry, and against the nature of His wisdom, and against the nature of His goodness.9 God is the goodness that cannot be angry, for He is nothing but goodness.10 Our soul is united to Him, who is unchangeable goodness, and between God and our soul there is neither anger nor forgiveness in His sight.11 For our soul is fully united to God by His own goodness, so that between God and the soul there can be absolutely nothing.12 And to this understanding, the soul was led by love and drawn by power in every showing.
Hidden Things and Childlike Trust
God wills that what He shows be known, and what He hides He keeps securely; Julian rests in this, yielding herself to Holy Church as a simple child.
That it is so, our good Lord showed, and how it is truly so, out of His great goodness; and He wants us to desire to know it — that is to say, as far as it belongs to His creature to know it. For everything that the simple soul understood, God wants it to be shown and known. For the things He wants kept secret, He Himself hides mightily and wisely, for love. For I saw in the same showing that much that is secret is hidden, which can never be known until the time when God, of His goodness, has made us worthy to see it. And with that I'm well content, awaiting our Lord's will in this high marvel.13 And now I yield myself to my mother Holy Church as a simple child ought.
Read the original Middle English
But our passand lif that we have here in our sensualite knowith not what ourself is. Than shal we verily and clerly sen and knowen our Lord God in fulhede of joy. And therfore it behovyth neds to be that the nerer we be our bliss, the more we shall longen; and that both be kynd and be grace. We may have knowing of ourselfe in this life be continuant helpe and vertue of our hey kynd, in which knowing we may encrecin and wexen be forthing and speding of mercy and grace. But we may never full know ourselfe in to the laste poynte, in which poynte this passend life and manner of peyne and wo shall have an end. And therfore it longyth properly to us, both be kynd and be grace, to longen and desiren with al our myghts to knowen ourselfe in fulhede of endles joye.
And yet in al this tyme from the begynnyng to the end I had two manner of beholdyng. That one was endless continuant love with sekirnes of kepyng and blisfull salvation. For of this was al the shewyng. That other was the common techyng of Holy Church in which I was aforn enformyd and growndid and wilfully haveing in use and understondyng. And the beholdyng of this come not from me. For be the shewing I was not sterid ne led therfrom in no manner poynte, but I had therin teching to loven it and liken it, wherby I myte, be the helpe of our Lord and His grace, encrese and resyn to more hevynly knowyng and heyer lovyng. And thus in al this beholdyng methowte it behovyd nedys to sen and to knowen that we arn synners, and don many evill that we owten to leven, and levyn many good dedes ondon that we owten to don, wherfore we deserve peyne and wreth.
And notwithstondyng al this, I saw sothfastly that our Lord was never wreth ne never shall. For He is God - good, life, trueth, love, peas. His charite and His unite suffrith Hym not to be wroth. For I saw trewly that it is agens the properte of myte to be wroth, and agens the properte of His wisdam, and agens the properte of His goodnes. God is the goodnes that may not be wroth, for He is not but goodnes. Our soule is unyd to Hym, onchangable goodnes, and betwix God and our soule is neyther wroth nor forgifenes in Hys syte. For our soule is fulsomly onyd to God of His owen goodnes, that atwix God and soule may ben ryth nowte. And to this understondyng was the soul led by love, and drawne be mygte in every shewing.
That it is thus, our good Lord shewid, and how it is thus sothly, of His gret goodnes; and He will we desire to wetyn, that is to seyen, as it longyth to His creature to wetyn it. For althyng that the simple soule understode, God will that it be shewid and knowen. For the thyngs that He will have privy, mytyly and wisely Hymselfe He hydeth hem for love. For I saw in the same shewing that mech privity is hid, which may never be knowen into the tyme that God of His goodnes hath made us worthy to sen it. And therwith I am wele paid, abyding our Lords will in this hey mervel. And now I yeele me to my moder Holy Church as a simple child owyth.
Scripture echoes
- ↩John.14.6;1John.4.8 — Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.' 1John.4.8 — The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
Notes
- 1 ↩sensualite: Julian's technical term for the lower, sense-bound part of the soul in this mortal life — not modern 'sensuality' as mere bodily appetite.
- 2 ↩hey kynd: Julian's 'high nature' — the higher part of our created nature, helped by mercy and grace toward self-knowledge.
- 3 ↩sekirnes of kepyng: rendered as "sure keeping" (assurance of being kept/preserved); could also be "security of keeping" or "certainty of protection."
- 4 ↩wilfully haveing in use and understondyng: "wilfully" here means willingly/voluntarily, not stubbornly; rendered as "willingly kept in use and understanding."
- 5 ↩ne... but: Middle English "ne" = nor; double negative "ne... in no manner" intensifies total negation. "liken" rendered as "delight in" (to like/take pleasure in), not "liken to."
- 6 ↩wreth kept as "wrath" (deserved wrath as known from Church teaching), which the next section will contrast with the revelation that God is never wrathful.
- 7 ↩enm 'good' here is substantive, parallel with life/truth/love/peace; rendered as 'goodness'.
- 8 ↩enm 'charite' kept as 'charity' (theological love); 'unite' rendered as 'unity' (divine oneness). 'suffrith Hym not' = does not permit Him.
- 9 ↩enm 'properte' rendered as 'nature' (characteristic property). 'myte' = might/power in Julian's might–wisdom–goodness triad; first member lacks 'His' in the source and is kept impersonal as 'power'.
- 10 ↩enm 'is not but goodnes' = is nothing except goodness / is only goodness.
- 11 ↩Julian's paradox: at the level of the soul's union with unchangeable goodness, God's sight admits neither wrath nor forgiveness (forgiveness would imply a prior wrathful stance). This does not deny human need of mercy in the 'common teaching' of the Church from the previous section.
- 12 ↩enm 'fulsomly' = fully/abundantly; 'of His owen goodnes' = by/from His own goodness; 'ryth nowte' = right nought, absolutely nothing.
- 13 ↩ME 'wele paid' = well pleased/content (not monetary payment); rendered 'well content'.
Revelations of Divine Love (Showings) companion
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