Quod tenebrae a nobis, a Deo lux nostra. Gratiarum actio ob fugatas tenebras et impertitam lucem.
The Darkness I Loved
The soul confesses its former blindness and darkness, marveling that God sought it unbidden.
Who is like you among the gods, O Lord?✦ Who is like you — glorious in holiness, awesome and praiseworthy, doing wonders?✦ Too late I came to know you, true light; too late I came to know you. A great dark cloud stood before the eyes of my vanity, so that I could not see the sun of justice or the light of truth. I was wrapped in darkness, a son of darkness; I loved my darkness, because I did not know the light. I was blind, and I loved my blindness; I walked toward darkness through darkness.✦✦ Who led me out from there, where I was a blind man in darkness and the shadow of death?✦✦ Who took my hand, to lead me out from there? Who is my light-giver? I was not seeking him — he sought me. I was not calling on him — and he called me.✦✦
Called by Name into Light
The soul recounts how God called it by name, dispelling darkness with creative light, and it trembles at the memory of its former state.
Who is that one? You, Lord my God, merciful and compassionate, Father of mercies and God of all consolation; you, holy my God, whom I confess with my whole heart, giving thanks to your name.✦ I wasn't seeking you; you sought me. I wasn't calling on you; you called me. You called me by your name; you thundered from above with a great voice into the innermost ear of my heart: Let there be light — and there was light (Gen.✦ And a great light descended, and the dark cloud that had covered my eyes was dissolved. And I lifted my eyes and saw your light, and I recognized your voice; and I said, Truly, Lord, you are my God. You led me out of darkness and the shadow of death, and you called me into your wonderful light; and now I see.✦ Thanks be to you, my God — now I see! Thanks be to you, my illuminator. And I turned and saw the darkness in which I had been, and the dark abyss in which I had lain; and I trembled, and I was terrified; and I said, Woe!
Too Late I Knew You
The soul laments its late coming to God, acknowledging that all light and being flow from him alone.
Alas, the darkness I lay in — alas! Alas, the blindness in which I could not see the light of heaven! Alas, my past ignorance, when I did not know you, Lord. Thanks be to you, my light-giver and my deliverer, since you have enlightened me and I have come to know you. Too late I came to know you, ancient truth; too late I came to know you, eternal truth. And you were in the light, and I was in the darkness, and I did not know you; because without you I could not be enlightened, and there is no light apart from you.
Read the original Latin
Quis similis tibi in diis, Domine? quis similis tibi, magnificus in sanctitate, terribilis atque laudabilis et faciens mirabilia? Sero te cognovi, lumen verum; sero te cognovi: erat autem nubes magna et tenebrosa ante oculos vanitatis meae, ita ut videre non possem solem justitiae et lumen veritatis. Involvebar in tenebris filius tenebrarum, tenebras meas amabam, quia lumen non cognoscebam; caecus eram, caecitatem amabam, et ad tenebras per tenebras ambulabam. Quis inde me eduxit, ubi eram homo caecus in tenebris et umbra mortis? quis accepit manum meam, ut inde me educeret? quis est illuminator meus? Non quaerebam eum, ipse quaesivit me; non invocabam eum, et ipse vocavit me.
Quis est ille? Tu, Domine Deus meus, misericors et miserator, pater misericordiarum et Deus totius consolationis; tu, sancte Deus meus, quem confiteor toto corde meo, gratias agens nomini tuo. Non te quaerebam, tu me quaesivisti; non te invocabam, tu me vocasti. Vocasti me nomine tuo, intonasti desuper voce grandi in interiorem aurem cordis mei, Fiat lux; et facta est lux (Gen. I, 3), et descendit lux magna, et liquefacta est nubes tenebrosa, quae operuerat oculos meos. Et levavi oculos meos; et vidi lucem tuam, et cognovi vocem tuam: et dixi, Vere, Domine, tu es Deus meus, et eduxisti me de tenebris et umbra mortis, et vocasti me in admirabile lumen tuum; et ecce video. Gratias tibi, Deus meus, ecce video; gratias tibi, illuminator meus. Et conversus sum, et vidi tenebras meas in quibus fueram, et abyssum tenebrosam in qua jacueram; et contremui, et expavi: et dixi, Vae!
vae tenebris meis in quibus jacui; vae! vae caecitati illi in qua videre non poteram lumen coeli! vae praeteritae ignorantiae, quando non cognoscebam te, Domine. Gratias tibi, illuminator et liberator meus, quoniam illuminasti me et cognovi te. Sero cognovi te, veritas antiqua; sero te cognovi, veritas aeterna. Et tu eras in lumine, et ego in tenebris, et non cognoscebam te; quia illuminari non poteram sine te, et non est lux extra te.
Scripture echoes
- ↩Exod.15.11 — Who is like you among the gods, O LORD? Who is like you, majestic in holiness, awesome in praises, doing wonders?
- ↩Exod.15.11 — Who is like you among the gods, O LORD? Who is like you, majestic in holiness, awesome in praises, doing wonders?
- ↩1Thess.5.5 — For you are all sons of light and sons of day. We are not of the night nor of darkness.
- ↩John.12.35 — Jesus said to them, "The light is among you for a little while longer. Walk while you have the light, so that darkness does not overtake you. The one who walks in the darkness does not know where he is going."
- ↩Ps.23.4 — Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff — they comfort me.
- ↩Isa.9.2 — The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in a land of deep shadow, light has shone.
- ↩Luke.15.4-Luke.15.6 — Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the lost one until he finds it? Luke.15.5 — And when he finds it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. Luke.15.6 — And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.'
- ↩Rom.10.20 — But Isaiah is so bold as to say, 'I was found by those who were not seeking me; I became visible to those who were not asking for me.'
- ↩2Cor.1.3 — Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
- ↩Gen.1.3 — And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.
- ↩Ps.22.4 — But you are holy, enthroned upon the praises of Israel.
Pseudo-Augustine Soliloquia animae ad Deum (Meditations of the Soul to God) companion
A meditation like this, every morning
Chosen Portion serves the full 37-chapter work — and dozens like it — as free daily devotionals.
These soliloquies were written for daily private devotion, and the Chosen Portion app restores exactly that rhythm with one portion each morning.
- 30 ready-to-pray meditations, each readable in about 5 minutes
- A one-line response prompt per day so you pray it, not just read it
- The full 37 chapters unlocked in the app when the month ends