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Chapter 238PrecesPriv.1.238

Preces Quotidianae

Preces Quotidianae

I can't grieve much. My dryness, my dryness!1 Woe to me! I can't do much, but I long for much.2 For I know that even much is not nearly enough.3 If only that sorrow were mine; if only it were even greater. But I can't wring it out of myself. I have dried up, dried up like a potsherd. Woe to me! Increase the fountain of tears I have; You, Lord, supply what I do not have: a melted heart, groans beyond all telling.4 Meanwhile, since my spirit is ready, receive me as acceptable according to what I have, not according to what I do not have. But I will stretch it out — because I cannot press harder — through all the years of my life.5 V.6 But after falling back so many times, with what face, with what mind can I turn back now? None.7 For I walk around completely ashamed; covered with my shame, I sit, I lie prostrate.8 I would not dare to do it, nor would I do it, without completely despairing and doing what people in despair do—except that hope still remains.910 What hope?11 Even to seventy times seven. That You would stretch out Your mercy.✦12

Read the original Latin

Multum dolere non possum. Ariditas mea, ariditas mea! ve mihi! Non possum multum, sed cupio multum. Scio enim nec multum, satis multum esse.

Utinam is dolor suppeteret mihi; utinam vero et major. Sed nequeo impetrare a me. Exarui, exarui velut testa. Va mihi! ᾿ adauge, quem habeo, fontem Tu, Domine, 1 supple, quem non habeo, J lacrymarum, liquefactum cor, gemitus inenarrabiles. Interim, cum mihi promptus sit animus, Acceptum habeas me secundum id quod habeo, Non secundum id quod non habeo. Extendam autem, quia intendere non possum magis, Per omnes annos vite mese. V.

Sed toties relapsus, qua fronte, qua mente Reverti nunc potero? Nulla. "Totus enim confusus, f incedo, Confusione mea opertus 4 sedeo, jaceo. Nee auderem facere, Nec facerem, quin plane desperarem penitus, Et, quod desperantes faciunt, facerem, Nisi quia spes adhuc reliqua. Qu: spes? Usque ad septuagies septies

Porrigere Te misericordiam "Tuam.

Scripture echoes

  1. ↩Matt.18.21-Matt.18.22 — Then Peter came to him and said, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Matt.18.22 — Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.'

Notes

  1. 1 ↩Latin ariditas is spiritual aridity: the dry, barren state of the heart before God, not mere physical thirst.
  2. 2 ↩Elliptical multum continues the preceding dolere context (grieve/sorrow much); English keeps the sparse parallel rather than forcing 'grieve' into both clauses.
  3. 3 ↩Compressed Latin Scio enim nec multum, satis multum esse most plausibly means that even a great deal (of sorrow/effort) is not sufficiently much; comma and wording may reflect a compressed or slightly damaged witness.
  4. 4 ↩Normalized text carries OCR/editorial debris (leading mark, numeral '1', isolated 'J'). Translated as petition: adauge quem habeo fontem [lacrymarum]; Tu, Domine, supple quem non habeo — liquefactum cor, gemitus inenarrabiles.
  5. 5 ↩Wordplay of extendam vs intendere: prolonging the effort in time because greater intensity is impossible. 'vite mese' read as vitae meae.
  6. 6 ↩Liturgical rubric: Versicle (V.), not prose content.
  7. 7 ↩Nulla answers the ablatives in s1 (fronte / mente): none—no face, no mind fit for returning.
  8. 8 ↩Normalized reading treats stray "f", "4", and the leading quotation mark as OCR/print noise. Intended sense taken as: Totus enim confusus incedo; confusione mea opertus sedeo, jaceo.
  9. 9 ↩Opening Nee read as Nec (typographical/OCR error).
  10. 10 ↩Implied object of facere is the return named in s1 (reverti); not supplied in this sentence itself.
  11. 11 ↩Qu: spes? read as abbreviated Quae spes? (What hope?), the natural interlocutory reply to spes adhuc reliqua in s4.
  12. 12 ↩Source has a stray quote before Tuam (`misericordiam "Tuam`); translated as the intended reading `misericordiam Tuam`. The infinitive continues the hope named just before (usque ad septuagies septies): hope that You Yourself would extend that mercy.

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