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← Letters on the Christian Life/Book 1 · Письма о христианской жизни
Chapter 14FeofanPisma.1.14

Письмо 14

On Alienation from the World

The feeling of loneliness after withdrawing from worldly festivities is a natural part of the transition toward communion with God and His saints.

You felt gloomy and alienated, and you grieved because you didn't get to go out and enjoy yourself at Maslenitsa.1 Yes, that feeling is perfectly natural—only it isn't entirely right, and you ought to scold your soul and heart for it. After all, to be alienated from the world is a commandment. So it isn't a bad thing that you felt alienated. Read Homily 64 of Isaac the Syrian.2 But why the feeling of orphanhood and the sadness? Surely we don't cast off from one shore without landing at another! We withdraw from the world so that we may be with the Lord and His saints—3 that is,4 we leave one bad company and enter another. . . And we leave it precisely so that we may enter into that other company.5 "You have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem; and to myriads of angels in festive assembly, and to the church of the firstborn enrolled in heaven, and to God the Judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, and to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant" (Hebrews).✦6 12:22–24). Do you see what company that is?✦ And yet the soul grieves and cries, "I'm an orphan." That's why she needs to be scolded.7 . . Don't forget, don't forget. . . That's why the sadness is there too: the soul has forgotten, and the sense of Communion has left the heart. In moments like that, you need to revive the memory of the spiritual world and stir the heart, so that fellow-feeling can rise again.8 Doesn't it take hold?9 Then go to God's church. . . And that doesn't take hold either? Endure it, crying out to God for help for the poor heart, and yet still hold your ground—that is, . don't throw yourself into dissipation. Because sometimes in sadness someone will say: I'll go out and amuse myself a little. . . Do it only once, and then every day will be gloomy. . . And every day you'll feel the urge toward amusements. And from there it's constant revelry. That is your prize.10 All that will be left is the memory of it: this road is dull, hard, and lonely.11

Humility and True Prayer

True spiritual life is marked by humility and constant repentance rather than by ecstatic raptures or self-assessment.

Look—in the next note they've already recovered, taken their proper place and order, and found fellowship with God. . . And it's warm and dear.12 . . Well, that's how it is. Just don't speculate about yourselves—give yourselves to the Lord.13 Let Him sort out our stages and determine the worth of what we feel. Here is our measure: when we feel that we are unclean through and through, and that our salvation comes only from God's great mercy, then things are well. As soon as we begin to claim even the smallest scrap of righteousness for ourselves, that is bad. Then we should instead start a quarrelsome fight against ourselves.14 You mentioned that you haven't experienced rapturous prayers. May the Lord spare you from them. Raptures and strong stirrings full of agitation are simply movements of soul and blood from an inflamed imagination.15 Ignatius of Loyola wrote a great many manuals for them. People reach these raptures and believe they've reached great heights—when in reality, it's all just soap bubbles. True prayer is quiet and peaceful; it remains so at every level. Isaac the Syrian outlines the higher levels of prayer, but he doesn't include raptures among them. . . So why do you go to confession as if you were a righteous woman? Of course you don't say, "I'm not like other people." . . That would be going too far. But just feeling generally unworthy isn't enough. You can somehow get yourself to the point of saying, "I'm sinful in this, and sinful in that." After all, you do say, "I have sinned in word, deed, and thought." Isn't there idle talk? Isn't there laughter? Isn't time wasted on trifles? Hasn't someone been given scandal by something or other?16 And are your thoughts always good? I think if you look closely into your thoughts, such a heap of sins will pile up that you won't be able to lift it. You need to take your stand at the heart and train yourself to notice the thoughts and feelings that rise out of it.17 Then you'll also see what a foul thing our supposedly good heart is.✦ And then moment-by-moment repentance will come, and confession to God who is everywhere and sees all. May the Lord help you. On the day of Holy18 Communion, you felt sad.19 So, what can you do? And for that, thank the Lord. Give thanks for everything.✦

The Necessity of Spiritual Effort

The Christian life requires persistent self-compulsion and obedience to a single spiritual guide to overcome the enemy and habituate the soul to virtue.

Here is what we need: we must not measure ourselves—that is,20 In other words,21 how many arshins we've risen from the ground.22 . . Better to forget about this measure entirely. Let there be only one: good for nothing.23 Whether we’re on the right path is shown not by the warmth of our feelings—though that isn't a bad thing—but by our firmness in working and pleasing God, even to the point of laying down our life, regardless of whether the soul feels warm, or dry and tasteless.✦24 We must bear the changing states of the heart with good cheer and say to the Lord: I am not worthy of anything better. . . It's still not enough. . . Add more longing—add more.25 . . and the like. What are we supposed to do? We’re weak, unstable human beings.26 . . and above all, pleasure-loving. We really want to experience every sweet thing.27 . . But as soon as you're given a little mustard, it's not to your taste.28 . . After all, all of this is transitory. Don't be troubled either that this happened on the day of Communion. On this day, the Lord does for the soul whatever is most beneficial for it. . . For you, sadness was more useful, so it was left. So say: glory to God for everything. What kind of indulgence has N. prescribed for you?29 N. "When you don't feel like it, don't pray either"? Maybe he can get away with that, but you can't make it a general rule. Remember the story of how the enemy used to overpower a certain monk right before he began his rule of prayer. He would be thrown into chills and fever, falling seriously ill—almost to the point of death. So what did he do? Well then, he says, soul! It's time to die—come on, let's pray one last time and weep before the Lord. He stood to pray and forced himself. His head is pounding, but he keeps going. . . He completed the rule, and the pain subsided. . . The next day, it was the same thing all over again. . . Then he understood where the attacks were coming from. . . From then on, he never abandoned his rule, no matter what tried to pull him away.30 If there were no enemy, you could just leave it at that.31 . . But since he is there, you have to keep a sharp ear. Only with difficulty and self-compulsion can you become accustomed to the good. And you have to pour out a great deal of sweat before it becomes second nature to us and grows natural, habitual, and easy.32 . . So, for the Lord's sake, run away from self-indulgence.33 Consider Macarius of Egypt's teaching: you need to push yourself into every good work. . . "The kingdom of God is taken by force, and the forceful seize it" (Mt.34 11:12). For within us, there's a mix of good and evil, and against every good, there's its own evil. . . You have to smother the latter and bring the former back to life.35 How are you supposed to do that without effort, when even turning from one side to the other takes some strain? It's better to stick to one line of teaching, or you'll just get tangled up. You'll lose the thread. . . You can hold ordinary conversation with anyone—but when it comes to the real work, listen to only one person.36 And in general, you can talk with anyone about spiritual things. . . That's good—it stirs the soul. . . And it purifies the soul's air.37

Read the original Russian

Вы чувствовали себя мрачною, отчужденною, грустили от того, что не пришлось погулять на масляной. Да, это чувство самое натуральное, только не совсем правое, и за него надо побранить свою душу и сердце. Ведь быть отчужденными от мира есть заповедь. Стало быть не худо, что вы отчужденными себя чувствовали. Прочитайте 64 Слово Исаака Сириянина. Но за чем чувство сиротства и грусть?

Разве мы отстаем от одного берега, а к другому не пристаем! Отчуждаемся мира, чтоб быть с Господом и Святыми Его, т. е. оставляем одно общество недоброе, и вступаем в другое. . . и оставляем именно за тем, чтоб вступить в него. «Приступисте к Сионстей горе, и ко граду Бога живаго, Иерусалиму небесному: и тмам Ангелов, торжеству, и церкви первородных на небесех написанных, и Судии всех Богу и духом праведник совершенных и к Ходатаю завета новаго Иисусу» (Евр.

12:22–24). Видите, какое общество? А душа грустит и кричит: я сирота. Вот и бранить ее надобно. . . не забывай, не забывай. .

. От того и грусть, что душа забыла, а от сердца отошло чувство общения. В подобные минуты надобно оживлять память о мире духовном и шевелить сердце, чтоб возникло сочувствие. Не берет? В церковь Божию пойти. . . И это не берет?

Терпеть вопия к Богу о помощи бедному сердцу, а все таки стоять на своем, т. е. не пускаться в разгул. Ибо бывает так, что в грусти иной скажет: пойти разгуляться немного. . . Сделай только однажды, тогда всякий день будет грустно. .

. и всякий день будет позыв к развлечениям. А там и постоянный разгул. Вот выигрыш! Останется только помин – скучна эта дорога, тяжела, одинока.

Вот в следующем листке уже поправились и стали в свой чин и порядок, и общество Божие нашли. . . и тепло и любо. . . Ну вот так. Только не гадайте о себе, а отдайте себя Господу.

Степени наши Он пусть разбирает и цену ощущений наших определяет. Мера наша вот какая: когда чувствуем, что кругом нечисты и что спасение нам только от великой милости Божией, то и хорошо. Как скоро начнем присвоять себе хоть малую частичку праведности, это худо. Тут скорее надобно поднимать сварливую брань на себя.

Что-то вы помянули, что не испытали восторженных молитв. Избави вас Господи от них. Восторги, сильные движения с волнениями, суть просто кровяные душевные движения, от распаленнаго воображения. Для них Игнатий Лойола много написал руководств. Доходят до сих восторгов и думают, что дошли до больших степеней; а между тем, все это мыльные пузыри. Настоящая молитва тиха, мирна; и такова она на всех степенях. У Исаака Сириянина указаны высшия степени молитвы, но не помечены восторги. .

.

От чего же это вы праведницею ходите на исповедь? Конечно, вы не говорите: несмь, якоже прочие человецы. . . это было бы уж слишком. Но общаго чувства недостоинства мало. Можно как-нибудь добиться до того, чтоб сказать: и в том грешна, и в том грешна. Ведь говорите же: согрешила словом, делом, помышлением.

Не бывает ли празднословия? Не бывает ли смеха? Не тратится ли время по пустякам? Не подано ли соблазна кому, чем либо? А помышления всегда ли хороши? Я думаю, если вникнуть в помыслы, то такая куча грехов наберется, что не подымешь. Надо стать у сердца и навыкать замечать выникающия из него мысли и чувства. Тогда и узрите, что за смрадная вещь наше доброе будто сердце?

– И придет тогда поминутное покаяние, и исповедь Богу вездесущему и все зрящему. Помоги вам Господи! В день Св. причащения вам было грустно. Что же делать? И за то поблагодарите Господа. За все благодарите. Вот, что нам надобно: не мерять себя, т.

е. на сколько аршин поднялись от земли. . . лучше совсем забыть про эту меру. Одна пусть будет: никуда негожи. Стоим ли мы на прямой дороге, свидетельство тому не в теплоте чувств, хоть и это не худо: но в твердости работать и угождать Богу до положения живота, не разбирая тепло ли на душе, или сухо и безвкусно. Переменчивыя состояния сердца, надобно переносить благодушно, и говорить Господу: не стою лучшаго.

. . еще мало. . . прибавь, прибавь томления. . .

и подобное. Что будем делать? Человецы есмы слабые, неустойчивые. . . а главное сластолюбивые. Очень хочется все сладости кушать. .

. а чуть горчички дадут, так и не по нутру. . . Ведь все это переходчиво. Не смущайтесь и тем, что это было в день причащения. В сей день Господь делает для души, что ей более полезно. .

. Для вас была грусть полезнее, она и оставлена. Скажите же слава Богу о всем.

Какую индульгенцию вам прописал N. N. «когда не хочется, и не молись»? Может быть это ему сходит с рук; но этого нельзя сделать общим правилом. Помните сказание, как одного инока враг одолевал пред началом молитвеннаго правила. Его в озноб и жар бросало, разболевался, хоть умирать. Что же он сделал? Ну, говорит, душа!

умирать пришло время, давай-ка в последний раз помолимся и поплачем пред Господом. Стал на молитву, и нудил себя. Голова трещит, а он все свое. . . Кончил правило, и боль прошла. . .

На другой день опять тоже. . . Тогда он понял откуда идут нападки. . . и уже никогда не оставлял своего правила, чем бы не был отклоняем. Если б не было врага, можно бы так.

. . но как есть он, то надобно ухо держать остро.

С трудом и самопринуждением только можно привыкнуть к добру. И много надо пролить пота, пока оно сроднится с нами и сделается нам сручным, обычным, легким. . .

Так, Господа ради, бегайте индульгенций. Посмотрите у Макария Египетскаго правило: нудить себя надо на всякое доброе дело. . . «Царствие Божие нудится и нуждницы восхищают е» (Мф. 11:12). У нас ведь смесь добра со злом, и против всякаго добра есть свое зло. .

. Надобно задушить последнее – и воскресить первое. Как же это без труда-то сделать, когда с боку на бок перевернуться, и то надобно напряжение?

Лучше держаться одних речей, а то как раз запутаться можно. Ниточку потеряете. . . Общия беседы вести можно со всяким, – а что до дела, то уж одного слушать. А вообще о духовных вещах со всяким можно беседовать. . .

Это хорошо – душу шевелит. . . и воздух ея очищает.

Scripture echoes

  1. ↩Heb.12.22-Heb.12.24 — But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to myriads of angels, Heb.12.23 — to the assembly and festival gathering of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, Heb.12.24 — and to Jesus, mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than Abel's
  2. ↩Heb.12.22-Heb.12.24 — But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to myriads of angels, Heb.12.23 — to the assembly and festival gathering of the firstborn who are enrolled in heaven, and to God the judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous made perfect, Heb.12.24 — and to Jesus, mediator of a new covenant, and to the sprinkled blood that speaks a better word than Abel's
  3. ↩Jer.17.9 — The heart is more deceitful than anything else, and desperately sick — who can know it?
  4. ↩1Thess.5.18 — Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
  5. ↩John.15.13 — No one has greater love than this: that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Notes

  1. 1 ↩«на масляной» = Maslenitsa (Butter Week / Shrovetide before Lent); the feast-week sense is intended, not merely 'on a butter day'.
  2. 2 ↩«Слово» rendered as Homily (also Discourse/Homily-chapter in Isaac's corpus); the ordinal 64 is preserved as given.
  3. 3 ↩Trailing «т.» is the first half of the abbreviation «т.е.» (that is / i.e.), completed in s3.
  4. 4 ↩«е.» completes «т.е.» begun in s2 (= that is / i.e.).
  5. 5 ↩«в него» points to the second, good company (the company of the Lord and His saints), not back to the world left behind.
  6. 6 ↩Church Slavonic quotation of Hebrews 12:22–24; citation tag is truncated mid-reference «(Евр.» and continues in the next section as «12:22–24)».
  7. 7 ↩бранить = scold/rebuke; pastoral self-rebuke of the soul for forgetting her true company, not harsh condemnation of a person.
  8. 8 ↩сочувствие rendered as 'fellow-feeling' (interior responsive kinship with the spiritual world), not mere pity or social sympathy.
  9. 9 ↩Не берет? is colloquial for a remedy that will not 'catch' or take effect; kept as a direct spoken check, not a full explanatory paraphrase.
  10. 10 ↩«Вот выигрыш!» is ironic sarcasm: the supposed gain of giving in to diversion is in fact loss.
  11. 11 ↩«помин» rendered as residual memory/remembrance of the experience, not liturgical commemoration.
  12. 12 ↩тепло и любо is an older Russian pair meaning cozy warmth of heart and affectionate delight; rendered as warm and dear.
  13. 13 ↩не гадайте о себе can mean don't guess/speculate about your spiritual state, not fortune-telling; rendered as don't speculate about yourselves.
  14. 14 ↩«сварливую брань» can mean quarrelsome scolding/reproach or contentious spiritual warfare; rendered as a self-directed fight to keep the combative force of брань.
  15. 15 ↩кровяные душевные движения: rendered as 'movements of soul and blood' to keep Feofan's contrast between passional/natural (blood-bound) agitation and true spiritual prayer.
  16. 16 ↩Russian соблазн can mean scandal, a stumbling block, or temptation; here the confession-exam sense is giving offense/occasion of sin to another.
  17. 17 ↩выникающия is an older spelling of выникающие, 'emerging/arising from'; rendered as 'that rise out of it.'
  18. 18 ↩Sentence is cut mid-phrase: «В день Св.» continues into s4 as «причащения» (Holy Communion).
  19. 19 ↩Continues s3: full sense is «On the day of Holy Communion you felt sad.»
  20. 20 ↩Ends with abbreviated «т.»; next section begins «е.», forming Russian «т.е.» (that is / i.e.). Translation treats it as that connective.
  21. 21 ↩Source fragment «е.» completes the previous section’s «т.» as the abbreviation «т.е.» (то есть, “that is”).
  22. 22 ↩«аршин» is an old Russian linear measure (~28 inches / 71 cm). Kept literally because the counsel mocks measuring spiritual progress by physical height.
  23. 23 ↩«Одна» continues the discussion of self-measurement: the only measure left for oneself is «никуда негожи»—unfit for anything / good for nothing.
  24. 24 ↩«до положения живота» is the Russian idiom for readiness unto death / the laying down of one's life, not a medical reference to the abdomen.
  25. 25 ↩томление: spiritual languor/yearning (painful longing), not mere boredom; rendered as 'longing'.
  26. 26 ↩Source uses church-Slavonic coloring (Человецы есмы); rendered in plain modern English while keeping the communal confession of frailty.
  27. 27 ↩сладости can mean literal sweets or spiritual consolations; context (next section’s горчички) favors the metaphor of craving only pleasant things.
  28. 28 ↩«горчички» is literally 'a little mustard,' used figuratively for a touch of bitterness after craving sweets; «не по нутру» is colloquial for 'not to one's liking/stomach.'
  29. 29 ↩Russian «индульгенция» is used here ironically for a lax spiritual permission, not necessarily a formal ecclesiastical indulgence.
  30. 30 ↩правило here is the fixed prayer rule / rule of prayer, not an abstract principle; rendered as "rule" to match the surrounding narrative of keeping the office despite pain and attack.
  31. 31 ↩враг is the spiritual enemy (the devil), not a merely human adversary; next-section context keeps this adversarial sense in view.
  32. 32 ↩сручным (archaic) means handy/ready to hand; rendered here as 'natural' in the triad with обычным (habitual) and легким (easy).
  33. 33 ↩Russian «индульгенций» here means soft self-leniency and cutting yourself slack, not Roman Catholic indulgences; rendered as self-indulgence to match Feofan's pastoral sense.
  34. 34 ↩Church Slavonic-style «нудится / нуждницы» ties to «нудить себя» above; rendered with force/forcible taking to keep that verbal link, not as a polished KJV-only cadence.
  35. 35 ↩«последнее» / «первое» points back to the previous section’s mixture of good and evil: smother the evil (the latter) and raise the good (the former).
  36. 36 ↩«дело» here likely means the practical spiritual work / direction of the soul, not merely 'business' or 'a matter' in a worldly sense.
  37. 37 ↩«воздух ея» (her/its air): archaic ея points back to feminine душа (soul). Rendered as the soul's interior atmosphere/air, not physical air.

Letters on the Christian Life companion

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