Capitulum VIII
The Agony of Divine Absence
The disciple laments the painful withdrawal of the Beloved, questioning why Wisdom hides itself from the longing heart.
You have raised me up three times. This change, in fact, seems to have a place not only in earthly love but also in your love. For very often, when the mind of the lover thinks it has you quietly in the chamber of the heart, and estimates that it has bound you inseparably with the eternal bond of love, suddenly you, who were thought to be present, flee away, and you, who were thought to be bound, recede further away, and do not compare, but leave the soul full of pain behind you. And while the heart of the lover burns for you, the soul thirsts for you, and the weak body languishes, desiring you as the only joy of the heart with all its longing: you seem to hide and, as if rejecting, give no intelligible answer at all. What is this? Is it not impious and cruel to refuse to condescend to him whom you yourself have wounded? Wisdom: The greatness and beauty of any creature can respond for me. Disciple: Isn't that enough for a loving soul? For although it can undoubtedly recognize your power, wisdom, and goodness shining forth in it, and understand that you are supremely beautiful and good through this, it is still far from its desired fulfillment. Wisdom: If that isn't enough, at least let it find sufficient content in the sacred scripture, where it can discover me if it is diligent. Any page can serve as a loving letter, as if it were a comfort in love sent through me to itself; for whatever is written is for the consolation of the one who reads it, to uplift hope and restore love. Do these seem like sufficient arguments to you for a lover? Disciple: O master of all love and affection, why do you speak this way? Aren't you a true lover? And aren't you a teacher of love? And to put it better, you are indeed love itself. Therefore, you truly know the state of a loving heart, so it doesn't suit you to speak about love in such a foreign way. You know, O love itself, that for a lover, anything that isn't their beloved is far too little. Nothing satisfies a lover except the beloved when present. You have become like a burning fire in my heart, and I can't bear it. O most beloved object of love, you possess the dwelling of my heart so powerfully; I hold you so delicately in the treasure chest of my heart, and your love has bound me completely, so that even if the languages of all men and angels were to extol you with singular praise and tell many things about you, or if loving writings were to demonstrate you, they would not be enough. Rather, they could only hinder the affection of the lover; they wouldn't be able to fulfill the desire. But the whole intention of my heart is directed there, that it may find you alone, the unique treasure of my heart, and that it may rest in you alone, the true good, continually. A brief hour without your most blessed presence seems to me to last a whole year. Therefore, sweet love, do not let me, your unworthy servant, be a stranger to you. Indeed, on a unique day, I feel you more distant than usual; I lament that a thousand years of time have passed with much boredom. You are, in truth, the paradise of delight; you are the heavenly paradise. Indeed, you are more desirable than any paradise. For to have you according to my vow is to be perfectly blessed. Now, if it is fitting for everyone to be adorned with piety and mercy, how much more fitting is it for such great majesty to be accompanied by great mercy and abundant compassion?
The Sighs of the Seeking Soul
The disciple expresses deep, personal longing through prayer and imagery, pleading for the return of the Beloved to the inner chamber of the heart.
Why then, gentle wisdom, don't you kindly consider those wretched, loving hearts that look up to you, sending forth deep sighs, shedding abundant tears, and crying out to you with full voices: "Return, return, my beloved, that we may gaze upon you." Restore to us the joy of your saving presence. They remain silent and inconsolable, fearing they might offend the desirable face of your goodness. They sit alone in solitude, filled with bitterness; and in the secrecy of their beds, they talk to themselves, saying in their longing and sighing: "When will he come?" When will he return? Do you think I will see him? Do you think my heart's eyes will see the one whom the angelic eyes long to behold? For me, too, among all those who love you, this sad thing sometimes happens: while my beloved has gone away, leaving me unaware and oppressed by sweet sleep, I find myself weeping and saying, "Alas, where has my beloved gone?" Alas, where will I find him? Do you think he doesn't see that he is being held back, and that his steps of love won't delay him from coming to me? Alas, why didn't I stay awake? Why didn't I hold on to him? Show yourself to me, my sweet one. Return to me. Your absence has caused me great distress. The ups and downs of life afflict me deeply. Show me the shelter where you rest to find refreshment and avoid the heat of the sun, so I don't wander away from you again, whom I have found in you. Oh, how long will I be without you, through whom I could possess everything desirable? I plead with you, my beloved, don't turn away from me, as my heart's impulse draws me toward you. This violent movement strips me bare, and in return, it brings me everything delightful. Moreover, I lack honor, even from myself. I see these things with pious eyes. For now I am failing, and I can no longer bear it. Therefore, give yourself to me, so that I may receive you into myself, for I have lost myself through you. Oh, the wonder of love. I truly say that love is as strong as death. For you have truly taken my heart away and given it to the beloved, and you have united it so inseparably that one might think I have left it behind at times; now it is in doubt whose it is—whether it belongs to the one who gives life or to the one who loves with the most fervent passion. Oh, tell me whose you are: are you his whom you love with all your heart, or his to whom you give life? If you are mine, oh how little you are with me whenever you are elsewhere. I don't know where you are if you aren't with him to whom you belong. I wouldn't let you go so freely for anyone except the beloved one whom I love more than my own life. And because I love him more than I love myself, that's why I belong to him all the more, the more I belong to him, of whom I am also. For you don't just claim him for yourself; you take me entirely for yourself as well, drawing me along with you. If you are his, I know you belong to him not just through creation, redemption, and other such reasons—like other rational creatures—but by a special privilege: a voluntary and free gift. Indeed, you are the dwelling place I offered as a pledge of love, a place of affection, and a sign of charity, set apart from all worldly and earthly loves during the tender years of my youth; I established it for myself as a throne of ivory, a golden couch, and a nuptial chamber in which to rest. So tell me how you wish to receive your beloved and spiritual bride, eternal wisdom, when she returns and knocks at the door of your heart, standing and asking to be opened. I won't delay long, nor will I allow the delay of my beloved to last any longer; instead, I'll hasten to meet her, and with my arms stretched out in longing, I'll embrace her with the words of greeting. And just as John, while still in his mother's womb, leaped for joy at the presence of the eternal King, so I, confined in this prison, will leap for joy at the presence of my beloved spouse, and I will greet her with jubilant words drawn from the treasure of love, saying: O my beloved, abyss of my deepest desires, and strength of my innermost being, all my innermost parts greet you from the depths of my heart and soul, and they implore you for as many greetings and devoted services as there are leaves on the trees and stars in the sky, and as many as there is sand by the sea. In this way, I will devoutly bring this reception into its proper place: the inner chamber of my heart, my spiritual bridal chamber. But this sorrow compels me to groan before it happens, namely, the alternation of access and withdrawal from her. This truly afflicts me, as I am not yet firmly established in the most perfect degree of love. These and similar intimate sighs of the heart and conversations of love, O eternal wisdom, you hear but do not heed; nor do you even notice or care about me.
The Discipline of Conformity
Wisdom instructs the disciple that true love is found not in emotional highs, but in the conformity of the will to God's divine purpose.
Wisdom says: I see everything, and I watch the desires of the heart closely. Wait a moment, and give me the answer I’m looking for. Is it not true that the one who speaks a lot will not be heard, or the one who asks many questions will not receive answers? So answer me, and tell me what I’m looking for. What is it that heavenly spirits should primarily seek and focus on in their actions? Disciple: O most prudent and eternal Wisdom of all virtues, how can a simple and inexperienced person answer this question? But you, highest wisdom of the heavenly discipline, please answer for me. You should know, therefore, that the angelic spirits and the perfect travelers seek nothing in their actions except to conform all their deeds to my will. My divine wisdom, he said, is food, so that I may do the will of my Father who is in heaven. This is the food of angels and of the perfect travelers, so that they may delight in fulfilling the will of their Lord within themselves and in all creatures everywhere. Hence, they would be drawn to a vile work of their kind more delightfully than to a more honorable one, if that would be more acceptable to my will. Disciple: O highest wisdom, with what hidden sting do you now strike my imperfection with your response? I think, unless I'm mistaken, that I should address my complaints in a refined manner, to condemn the shortcomings of my patience and to seek what I desire, while I avoid harshness. Wisdom: The release of the affections of a tested disciple should be so great that he is not only unbound from bodily pleasures, but also does not cling to spiritual ones, so that he seeks them more dearly than the highest good itself. Consider, then, who you are seeking and what you love. For the imperfect seek only the things they love, not the good itself. They either avoid their own discomfort like servants, or they pursue their own gains like hired hands. However, to respond more fully to your main question about the changes in my visits, which afflict the soul like a rich love, you should know that sometimes and more frequently, setting aside other causes, the soul itself exists as the cause of this subtraction, while it is blocked by certain opaque windows from the solar light, or irreverence is shown from within to such a guest, so that it is compelled to leave what it loves and to enter into what it does not love, the very one whose delights are to be with the children of men. Sometimes I grant joy, making a home in the beloved, not openly but secretly and subtly, so that very few—only the most experienced—can understand the mysteries of such a presence. DISCIPLE: Lord, as I see it, you are the most skilled lover. Therefore, I pray and desire that you would deign to show me some signs of your most secret and certain presence. WISDOM: If you want to know my presence, you must diligently examine what kind of person you are when grace is absent, and you'll immediately find what you seek. For I am the highest good, and when I am present, I fill everything with goodness. Thus, just as a cause is known by its effect, and the sun, though invisible in itself, becomes visible through the reflection of its rays, so my presence is perceived through its most abundant goodness.
The Game of Love
The disciple describes the cycle of spiritual consolation and desolation, which Wisdom identifies as the 'game of love' necessary for growth.
If you've ever tested the goodness of my presence or the barrenness of my absence, bring it to light so you can discern the flowers among the grass. DISCIPLE: If every part of my body were turned into a tongue, and all my limbs resonated with a human voice, they still couldn't express or perfectly recount what I'm asking of you. But to tell the truth, for this reason, I have often risen to the heights of God's marvelous greatness, so that God might be exalted, saying within myself. If such is the presence of God, with such immense goodness in a sinful human being, whose life is minimal and whose actions are none, what then is there in others, where there is innocence of life and such an abundance of grace and virtues? However, this little bit that I have experienced, as you grant it, I will bring forth, so that I may have a fuller direction from you in such matters. Therefore, when you turn away your gracious and pleasant face from me, when you withdraw internal consolation and hide the light in your hands, then my wretched soul is suddenly changed and becomes languid and withering. Fatigue follows, and the hardness of the heart and the sadness of the spirit are felt. A certain virulent tedium occupies my limits, so that it makes my soul weary of life. Everything that is seen or heard, even if it is good, provokes a spiritual nausea. Your retreat brings horror, and the fastidiousness of my brothers weighs heavily on me; my soul is made to sleep from weariness, so that sometimes it does not know where it has come from or where it is going. Furthermore, I am convinced that I am then more inclined toward vice, weaker in resisting temptations, and less capable of any spiritual exercises. Anyone who looks for me at that time finds an empty house; for the good master has left all his servants blessed and filled with joy, and has abandoned the empty dwelling. But when that brilliant dawn, the eternal light, rises within the darkness of my heart and emerges from the heights, all the murky gloom of melancholy dissolves, and the dark night is illuminated like the day, with all sadness removed. And behold, my heart is filled with joy, my mouth is filled with praise. My soul rejoices, my conscience is at peace, all my bones shout for joy, praising God together, for He is good, for His mercy endures forever. And let them sing in the ways of the Lord, for great is the glory of the Lord. Then my will is stirred to rejoice with joy, to celebrate with exultation, so that infused with such great joys, I would almost swear that this day, so radiant with light, would have brought forth the resurrection of the Lord as a proclamation to the world. Indeed, when I thought I was dead, I arose like the morning star; and for those living in the shadow of death, light has risen. Then everything that once seemed harsh and difficult now appears sweet and light. A sweet fast, brief vigils, and all small exercises seem insignificant in the greatness of love. At this hour, I resolve to improve my life, correct my behavior, and do many good deeds through spiritual grace; but when that grace withdraws, alas, I can hardly bring any of it to fruition. The soul is filled with love and truth, and is so overwhelmed by such sweetness that it almost forgets itself and everything else. Meditations flow sweetly at will; the language of a child becomes eloquent; the sluggish body becomes ready to obey God's commands; and to put it briefly, such is the abundance of grace pouring forth from every side that anyone who asks receives, anyone who seeks finds, and to those who knock, it will be opened. Then, regarding all visible effects, I think I have trampled on all temporal things and stand in the heavenly courts of Jerusalem, so that I might begin to taste some signs and beginnings of the future world. All affections united in the joy of love find rest in the sole enjoyment of the Creator. I say this, and similar things are stirred up in the depths of the heart; I ask to be informed whether they arise from me or from you. WISDOM: Your ruin comes from you, because you don't seek my help. From you, you only fail, and you tend toward a nest—these and similar things are granted to you through my presence. For this is the game of love that I have come to have in the sweet embrace of love. DISCIPLE: And what is the game of love? Wisdom says: The game of love is joy and sorrow, which succeed one another based on the presence or absence of the beloved. It’s a true characteristic of love that its intensity is hidden when the beloved is present, but felt much more deeply when they are away. The disciple said: This game of love seems to me to be one of joy, but rather of sorrow. But I beg you, do you think that if some travelers are granted a singular privilege in this time of visitation, they might be exempt from this cycle? Wisdom replied: Indeed, they are most fortunate. Surely, participating in divine matters is, for a person, a kind of beginning of eternity. The disciple asked: Who are these people, or what is their condition, that they can conquer all?
The Call to Interiority
Wisdom exhorts the disciple to cease seeking God in external things and to recognize the kingdom of God already present within.
What is softer than water? What is harder than stone? And here, with frequent strokes, water is carved away. And so that I may suggest pleasant rumors to you, and to true lovers for hearing, know that this most divine bride for whom you labor wishes to be asked and delights in service. Who, then, would choose so quickly, and in such fleeting matters, what pleases love? Let him ask and request, and not cease; and I truly promise him entrance according to the vow of his heart. For throughout all the borders of Israel, nothing has been found so easy to pray to, so ready to listen, and so gracious in its response, as this most divine bride of yours. In truth, love cannot hold itself back for long. It cannot wait until it is asked, but it anticipates those who seek it, and shows itself to them before they call. It stands in the marketplace, in the middle of the streets, at the gates, raising its voice, enticing everyone and drawing all to its love. Whoever wishes to love me should strive to see me as lovely at all times, just as I have become accustomed to gazing upon my beloved. For it does not know whether it comes from the east or from the west, or from the north or from the south, but it waits for what it longs for. It doesn't matter if it's morning or midday, or if the knock at the door comes from an enemy; those who seek will find. For often, while my mind is anxious in seeking, it finds nothing; but when it least expects it, it will have the beloved present. I always want my beloved to be ready, and I don't want to rely on her merits any more than on my own worthiness. Moreover, it is not enough to spend just a moment with the beloved; it is necessary to often be free to see her, who desires to understand her hidden whispers and longs to possess her presence. And so, as we mix sweet words with admonitions, you must be sternly reproved, for you are truly reprehensible in such exercises of love. Why, then, do you, who have taken on the military service of love and professed our philosophy, stand before such a great bride with a wandering heart and trembling eyes, as the world spins around you, when she gazes upon you with unceasing attention, serene and graceful, never turning her eyes away from you? It is shameful for anyone to be deaf to the divine wisdom that speaks within them. It is truly disgraceful for a disciple of love to be so forgetful of themselves that they don't notice the inner words of the One whose presence surrounds them everywhere. Rightly, then, does the soul withdraw from the unworthy, when it finds you not within yourself or in Him, but outside of yourself and Him in the noise of the world. Therefore, I ask you to remember to correct these things. Consider how indecent it is for the soul to seek anything in external matters when it carries the kingdom of God within itself. For the kingdom of God is indeed within you, consisting of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. Why does divine wisdom allow its beloved ones to suffer so much in this world?
Read the original Latin
dius ter cius tantum extulisti. Vicissitudo namque predicta non solum in terreno amore, verum edam in tuo videtur locum habere. Frequentissime enim dum mens amantis in thalamo cordis quietius te habere putat, et federe sempiterno brachiis amoris te sibi constrinxisse inseparabiliter estimat: subito qui putabaris adesse, nescio quo aufugis, et qui estimabaris constrictus esse, longius recedis, et non conpares, sed animam dolore plenam post te derelinquis. Et dum cor amantis post te ardet, anima te sitit, et corpus infirmum langwestit, te solum unicum cordis gaudium totis cupiens visceribus: dissimilas et quasi aspernando nullum omnino das intelligibile responsum. Quid est hoc? Numquid non inpium ac crudele est nimium, condescendere nolle ei quem ipse vulnerasti?
SAPIENCIA: Magnitudo et pulchritudo cuiuslibet creature poterit pro me respondere. DISCIPULUS: Numquid sufficit hoc anime amorose? Licet enim tuam potentiam sapientiam et bonitatem inibi relucere indubitanter cognoscat, et te per hoc quasi per quoddam vestigium summe pulchrum et bonum esse intelligat, longe tamen adhuc distat a suo fipe desiderato. SAPIENCIA: Si hoc non sufficit, saltem de sacra scriptura contenta sit, ubi me sufficienter si diligens fuerit, poterit invenire. Quamlibet paginam pro littera amorosa, 'tamquam in amoris solacium per me sibi transmissam suscipiat; quia quecumque scripta sunt, ad consolationem ipsius scripta sunt, ad sublevationem spei et instaurationem caritatis. Nonne hec tibi videntur argumenta dilectionis amanti sufficere debere?
DISCIPULUS: 0 totius magistra amoris ac dilectionis, quare sic loqueris? Numquid non es verus amator? Numquid non et preceptor amoris? Et ut melius dicam, certe amor ipse es. Jgitur vere et indubitanter nosti conditiones cordis amorosi; et ideo tam alieno modo loqui de amore te non convenit. Tu scis 0 amor eteme, quia amanti nimis parvum est, quidquid hoc est quod suum amatum non est.
Nichil enim amanti sufficit nisi ipsum amatum cum presens fuerit. En factus es in corde meo quasi ignis estuans, daususque in ossibus meis, et deficio ferre non sustinens. 0 amantissimum amoris obiectum, tu cordis mei tam potenter possides domicilium, Te in armariolo cordis mei tam delicate teneo repositum, et me totum sic amor tuus sua constrinxit vi, ut eciam si lingwe hominum et angelorum cunctorum te michi preconio singulari extollerent, et multa de te narrarent, seu scripta amorosa demonstrarent: minime proficerent. Quin pocius amantis affectum interdum inpedire possent, inplere autem desiderium non valerent. Sed illuc tota pergit cordis mei intencio, ut te solum unicum cordis thesaurum inveniat, et in te solo vero bono iugiter conquiescat. Modica horula absque tua felicissima presencia michi anni unius spatium videtur habere.
Unde pia dulcedo noli queso indigno famulo tuo esse aliena. Nempe cum unica die te michi solito magis alienum sentio, mille annorum curricula longumque platonicum annum me cum tedio multo exulasse deploro. Tu es enim paradysus voluptatis, Tu paradysus supercelestis. Quinymmo omni paradyso optabilior. Nam te iuxta votum habere, est perfecte beatum esse. Nunc igitur si pietate atque clementia cunctos decet esse ornatos qui iq potestate positi sunt, quantomagis decet maiestatem tantam miseratio magna et conpassio multa?
Quare ergo 0 benigna sapientia clementer non consideras misera illa amorosa corda, que ad te sursum respiciunt, profundissimos gemitus emittunt, lacrimas fundunt uberrimas, clamantes post te plena voce: Revertere revertere dilecte my, ut intueamur te. Redde nobis leticiam salutaris presencie tue. Ilentque inconsolabiliter, timentes ne forte offenderint faciem desiderabilem bonitatis tue. Sedent sole ac solitarie, quoniam amaritudine replete sunt; et in secreto cubilis sui secum confabulantur, et animo desideranti et suspiranti hec vel similia dicunt: 0 quando veniet? Quando redibit? Putas videbo?
Putas oculi cordis mei videbunt in quem oculi angelici prospiT cere concupiscunt? Michi quoque omnium te amantium minimo res hec tristis non numquam accidit, ut dum dilectus meus me inscio ac dulci sopore oppresso abiisset, ego flens dicebam: Heu quo abiit dilectus meus? Heu ubi requiram illum? Putas ne videbit quod eum allidat, affectuumque eius gressus ad me retardet? Heu prochdolor quare non vigilavi? Quare non tenui illum?
My dulcis ostende te michi. Redde te michi. Ledit namque nimis tua absencia quem letificavit presenda. Vicissitudo accessus ac recessus me affligit vehementer. Jndica ergo michi umbraculum sub quo cubas, refrigerium querens, estum devitans quia ascendit sol, ne iterum extra me vagari indpiam, qui me in te repereram. Heu quam diu hac carebo, qua sola habita cuncta desiderabilia possiderem?
Ad me eam supplico my dilecte declinare conpellat inpetus motus cordis mei ad te. Huius namque motus violencia me mdpsa spolians, ac tibi deferens, cuncta iocosa michi reddit honerosa. Denique et meipso carens honeri michi sum. Hec piis oculis intuere. Jam enim defido, amplius ferre non valeo. Da ergo •te, ut in te me recipiam, qui me per te perdidi.
0 mira virtus amoris. Ego vere dico quia fortis est ut mors dilecdo. Etenim cor michi 0 amor abstulisti et dilecto dedisti, eique ipsum tam inseparabiliter conglutinasti, ut me certis temporibus quodammodo reliquisse putetur, et iam in dubium vertatur cuius sit, utrum subiecti quod vivificat, vel obiecti quod estu fervidissimo amat. 0 cor dic michi queso cuius sis, utrum ne illius quem totis amas visceribus, vel illius cui vitam das. Si meum es, 0 quam parum mecum es, 0 quociens alibi es. Nesdo ubi es, si non es cum eo cuius es.
Ego vero nulli tam libere te dimitterem nisi dilecto, quem plus quam vitam propriam diligo. Et quia eum plus quam me diligo, ideo tantomagis meum es, quanto plus eius es, cuius et ego. Namque non solum te sibi approprias, sed et me totum quoque simul tecum trahendo sibi vendicas cum effectu. Si ergo eius es, ymmovero quia eius es, non solum creacione et redempcione ac ceteris similibus causis, sicut et alie rationales creature, sed et eius es quodam singulari privilegio, scilicet voluntaria ac libera donatione. Siquidem tu es illud iocale quod inchoantibus amorose iuventutis mee temporibus, omnibus mundialibus terrenisque amoribus privatum, sibi pro arra amoris, pro iocali dilectionis, et pro signo caritatis obtuli, et ipsum sui nominis litteris sanguineis consignans, thronum eburneum, reclinatorium aureum ac thalamum nuptialem ad quiescendum in eo sibi constitui. Jgitur dic michi qualiter recipere vis Olam tuam amicam et spiritualem sponsam, eternam scilicet sapientiam, cum redierit, et ad hostium cordis stando ac pulsando sibi petierit aperiri.
Ego inquit non diu tardabo, nec dOectam diutius expectare permittam, sed in occursum eius festinanter occurram, et brachiis desideriorum meorum affectuosissime extentis, dflectum votorum meorum inter salutationis verba intimo amplexu constringam. Et sicut clausus Johannes in utero matris ad presentiam etemi regis tripudiando saltavit, sic et ego clauso ergastulo ad tante sponse presentiam medullitus exultabo, eumque in voce iubilacionis talibus verbis ex thesauro amoris assumptis salutabo dicens: 0 dilecte my, abyssus profundissimus desideriorum meorum, et virtus medullarum mearum, totaque simul congeries viscerum meorum te salutant ex intimis et precordialissimis anime affectibus, tibique demandant tot salutationes ac devota servitia, quot in arboribus folia, et in celo fulgent sydera, et quot harene maris circa littora. Sicque devote receptum introducam ad locum proprium, scilicet cordis triclinium, spiritualem thalamum. Sed prochdolor hoc est quod me ante factum gemere conpellit, vicissitudo scilicet accessus et recessus ipsius. Hec namque valde affligit a nimum nondum perfectissimo amoris gradu solidatum. Hec et hiis similia intima cordis suspiria et amoris colloquia 0 etema sapientia audis nec attendis; sed nec advertere quidem aut curare te similas.
SAPIENCIA: Video singula, et attento cordis desiderio prospicio universa. Sed expecta paulisper, et indica michi verbum quod a te quero. Numquid enim qui multa loquitur ipse non audiet, aut qui multa interrogat ipse non respondebit? Responde ergo et tu michi quod quero. Quid est hoc quod potissimum celestes spiritus querere et intendere debent in sua operatione? DISCIPULUS: 0 omnium prudentissima ponderatrix virtutum eterna sapientia, quomodo simplex et inperitus ad hanc interrogationem respondere potero?
Sed tu summa celestis distipline magistra responde pro me obsecro. SAPIENCIA: Scire igitur debes quod angelici spiritus ac viatores perfecti nil tantum in sua operatione querunt, quantum conformitatem omnium actionum suarum ad meam voluntatem. Meus inquit divina sapientia cibus est, ut faciam voluntatem patris mei qui in celis est. Hic est cibus angelorum simulque perfectorum viatorum, ut delectentur voluntatem domini sui inpleri in se, et universaliter in omnibus creaturis. Unde et ad opus vile de suo genere delectabilius ferrentur, quam ad honorificentius, si voluntati mee id magis foret acceptum. DISCIPULUS: 0 summa sapientia, quam occulta suggillatione, tua nunc responsione, inperfeccionem meam percutis.
Jntendis enim ni fallor querulositatem meam modo urbano reprehendere, defectum longanimitatis dampnare, quidultia quero, aspera quo ad possum fugio. SAPIENCIA: Tanta deberet esse absolutio affectus probati discipuli, ut non solum corporalibus delectationibus non esset alligatus, sed neque pro spiritualibus tantum inhyaret, ut eas carius quam ipsum summum bonum in seipso acceptum querendo appeteret. Considera ergo teipsum, quid queras aut quid diligas. Jnperfecti enim quique ea que dilecti sunt, non ipsum querunt. Aut enim sua incomoda declinant sicut servi, vel sua lucra sectantur sicut mercennarii. Verumptamen ut interrogationi tue principali de vicissitudine visitationum mearum, que animam ut ditis affligunt amorosam, plenius respondeam: Scire debes quod interdum et frequentius, aliis causis pretermissis, ipsa anima huius subtractionis causa existit, dum radio solari fenestra per opaca quedam precluditur, vel hospiti tanto irreverentia ab intra exhibetur, ut proinde exire de dilecta atque in hoc non dilecta cogatur, ipse cuius delicie sunt esse cum filiis hominum.
Jnterdum quoque adveniens exultationem tribuo, mansionem faciens apud dilectam, non manifeste quidem sed occulte atque latenter, ita ut paucissimi et non nisi expertissimi queant presencie tante misteria cognoscere. DISCIPULUS: Domine ut video peritissimus amator es tu. Oro igitur et desidero, ut michi aliqua intersigna tue secretissime ac certissime presencie ostendere digneris. SAPIENCIA: Si presenciam meam desideras cognoscere, temetipsum qualis sis in absencia gratie debes diligenter examinare, et statim quod queris invenies. Summum namque bonum cum sim, presencia mea cuncta bonitate adinpleo. Jdeoque sicut causa per suum effectum cognoscitur, et sol in se invisibilis per radiorum suorum repercussionem visibilis efficitur: sic et presencia mea deprehenditur per suam fecundissimam bonitatem.
Nunc igitur si umquam bonitatem presencie mee vel absentie sterilitatem probasti, profer in medium, ut instructus inter gramina valeas dinoscere flores. DISCIPULUS: Si cuncta corporis mei menbra in lingwas verterentur, et omnes artus humana voce resonarent, non possent exprimere neque perfecte enarrare hoc quod a me queris. Sed ut verum fatear, huius rei causa, in amplitudinem mirabilium dei, sepissime ad cor altum exurrexi, ut exaltaretur deus, dicens in memetipso. 0 si talis est presencie dei tam inmensa bonitas in homine peccatore, cuius vita minima et exercitia nulla: quid ergo est in aliis, ubi vite innocentia, et gratiarum ac virtutum copia tam inmensa? Verumptamen hoc modicum quod expertus sum, prout dederis proferam, ut in eiusmodi pleniorem a te habere possim directionem premissorum. Jgitur 0 summa bonitas, cum faciem tuam gratiosam bonitate et suavitate plenam a me avertis, cum internam consolationem subtrahis, et lumen in manibus abscondis: tunc anima misera subito immutatur et velud langwida et tabescens efficitur.
Lassitudo exinde corporis subsequitur, et cordis duritia ac spiritus tristida sentitur. Tedium quoddam virulentum occupat fines meos, ita ut tedeat animam meam vite mee. Omnia que videntur vel audiuntur, edam si bona fuerint, nauseam tunc provocant spiritualem. Recessus item tuus horrorem lod, celle fastidium, fratrum pariter mecum conmorandum aspernadonem indurit; et anima mea dormitare indpit pre tedio, ut interdum ex p usillanimi tate spiritus nesciat unde veniat aut quo vadat. Experienda insuper certissima perswasum habeo me tunc esse ad vicia procliviorem, ad resistendum temptacionibus debilem, et ad omnia exercicia spiritualia minus valentem. Omnis qui me illo in tempore quesierit, vacuam domum invenit; quia bonus paterfamilias omnes domesticos benedicdone et hylaritate replens abcessit, et domicilium vacuum dereliquit.
At vero cum preclarus ille oriens splendor lucis eteme, in medio tenebrarum cordis mei exurgens, et procedens pulchre exoritur: Omutacio dextre excelsi: tunc omnis melancolice conplexionis nebulosa congeries dissolvitur, et nox caliginosa sicut dies illuminatur, tristibus cunctis submotis. Et ecce cor risu perfunditur, os iubilo repletur. Gaudet anima, serenatur conscienda, plaudunt cum tripudio omnia ossa mea, deum simul laudanda ac dicentia, quoniam bonus, quoniam in seculum misericordia eius. Et cantent in viis domini, quoniam magna est gloria domini. Tunc indpit voluntas pre gaudio festinare, rado pre exultatione sollempnizare, ita ut tantis gaudiis infusus, non numquam iurassem quod hanc diem luminositate tam insignem, resurrectionis dominice ob preconium orbi terrarum stellifer orbis adduxisset. Nimirum cum me extinctum putaveram, oriebar ut lucifer; et habitantibus in regione umbre mortis lux orta est eis.
Tunc omnia que piius dura et aspera et quodammodo inpossibilia videbantur, dulcia reddebantur ac levia. Jeiunium dulce, vigilie breves, cunctaqne exercitia parva videbantur pre amoris magnitudine. Jn ea quoque hora gratie spiritualis, vitam emendare, mores corrigere ac multa bona facere propono; que gratia recedente heu minime ad effectum perduco. Anima repletur caritate et veritate, ac dulcedine tanta perfunditur, ut pene seipsam et omnium ceterorum obliviscatur. Meditationes melliflue ad libitum confluunt; lingwa infantilis diserta efficitur; corpus pigrum ad mandata dei promptum redditur, et ut breviter dicam, tanta est gratie copia ex omni parte distillans, ut omnis qui petit accipiat, et qui querit inveniat, et pulsantibus aperiatur. Tunc cunctis visibilibus alcior effectus, omnia temporalia calcasse et in atriis oelestis Jherusalem me stare arbitror, ita ut auspicia quedam et initia futuri seeuli quodammodo incipiam pregustare.
Omnes enim affectus in amoris gaudio uniti, in sola conditoris fruitione quiescunt. Hec inquam et luis similia in penetralibus cordis geruntur; utrum autem ex me vel ex te, peto informari. SAPIENCIA: Perditio tibi ex te, in nae tentum auxilium tuum. Ex te non nisi deficis, et ad nidulum tendis- Hec autem et similia per presenciam meam tibi noveris concessa. Nam hic est ludus amoris, quem in apima amorosa habere conswevi. DISCIPULUS: Et quid est ludus amotis?
SAPIENCIA: Ludus amoris est gaudium et dolor, que sibi invicem ex presentia vel absentia dilecti succedunt. Hoc enim proprium amoris esse solet, ut quantus sit presente amabili lateat, recedente vero magis percipiatur. DISCIPULUS: Hic ludus amoris non michi videtur esse gaudii sed meroris, Sed obsecro te putas ne si ab hac vicissitudine visitationis in hoc tempore aliqui viatores privilegio singulari excipiantur? SAPIENCIA: Pautissimi. Nimirum tante divinorum in homine participatio stabilitatis, est quasi quedam inchoatio eternitatis. DISCIPULUS: 0 qui sunt illi, vel cuius condicionis, probus omnia vincit.
Quid mollius aqua? Quid lapide durius? Et hic frequenti ictu gutte cavatur. Et ut rumores tibi bonos, et veris amatoribus ad audiendum delectabiles subinferam, noveris quod hec divinissima pro qua laboras sponsa rogari vult, obsequiis delectatur. Quis ve tam subito et in rebus caducis optinet quod amori placet? Roget proinde et postulet ac obsecret, nec desistat; et ego ei vere introitum iuxta cordis votum promitto.
Non est enim inventa in omnibus finibus Jsrahel, que tam facilis sit ad exorandum, tam prompta ad exaudiendum, ad reddendum tam pia, sicut hec tua divinissima sponsa. En pre magnitudine amoris se cohibere diu non valet. Non potest expectare donec rogetur, sed preoccupat se querentes, et se priorem eis ostendit. Stat in foro, in medio platearum, in foribus portarum dat vocem suam, omnes alliciens et ad suum trahens cunctos amorem. Qui me amare voluerit, omni tempore me suam amabilem spectare studeat, sicut et ego iugiter meum amatorem spectare conswevi. Siquidem nescit utrum ab oriente vel ab occidente seu a septentrione aut meridie veniat quam prestolatur.
Jgnorat eciam utrum mane vel meridie an gallicantu hostium pulset, et aperiri petat. Nam sepius dum animus me querendo anxius existit, querendo non invenit; sed cum minime putaverit, dilectum presentem habebit. Semper enim cupio dilectam amori esse paratam; nec eam de suis meritis, plus quam de mea dignacione volo confidere. Porro non sufficit unam horulam temporis cum dilecto expendere, sed necesse est sepius vacare et videre, qui eius occulta susurria vult intelligere, et presencia eius potiri desiderat pretiosa. Et ut dulcibus hiis sermonibus verba increpatoria non tamen minus amatoria misceamus, arguere valde te oportet, quia vere in huiusmodi exercitiis amoris reprehensibilis es. Cur prochpudor tu qui militiam amoris assumpsisti, qui hanc nostram phylosophyam professus es, et eius dulci iugo humerum tuum subposuisti: Cur inquam vagabundo corde et oculis tremulis ac in fines orbis terre rotatis, stare coram tanta sponsa presomis, que indefesso aspectu, serena et graciosa facie iugiter te prospectat, nec oculos suos umquam a te avertit?
Quam verecundum est singulis quibusque auditum prebere, ut non possis que divina sapienda in te loquitur audire. 0 quam turpe est discipulo amoris seipsum tantum oblivisd, ut eius non advertat verba interna, cuius ubique circumdatur presenda. Merito proinde tamquam ab indigno se subtrahit, cum te non in te nec in se, sed extra te et se in mundi strepitu invenit. Et ideo queso hec emendare memento. Perpende quam indecens existat, si anima quidquam in exterioribus querat que regnum dei intra se portat. Regnum quippe dei intra vos est, quod est iusticia pax et gaudium in spiritu sancto.
Quare divina sapiencia suos caros in hoc mundo permittit tam multipliciter tribulari.
Horologium Sapientiae (Clock of Wisdom) companion
A daily portion of stillness
Chosen Portion delivers one short contemplative reading and a guided moment of silence each day — the ascent, one step at a time.
Chosen Portion is the paced doorway into this collection: it portions the dense mystical treatises into one daily reading plus guided silence, exactly as the 14-day plan teaches.
- Daily bite-sized excerpts from the contemplative classics, never a wall of text
- A built-in timed stillness practice that grows from 2 minutes to 10
- Gentle progression through the tradition — the app remembers where you are on the ascent