Von der Gewissens-Prüfung
The Tempter and the Shield of Faith
The author reflects on the reality of spiritual warfare and the protection found in faith against the prowling enemy.
Fear—oh, the horror! You're trembling—and so am I. Of the devil? I'm not. What can the devil do to me? He opens his jaws wide, but he still can't swallow me; he prowls around me, but he doesn't have the heart to enter me against my will.✦ He hurls fire; I put it out with the shield of faith.1 He doesn't bite me; I've got a mighty protection. But do you know what I tremble at?
The Necessity of Daily Examination
Drawing on Tauler, the author emphasizes the danger of neglecting the nightly examination of one's heart and conscience.
I'll tell you. Tauler says somewhere: For my own part, I say without hesitation that anyone who doesn't turn with all their strength to the ground of their soul and conscience at least once every day still isn't living as a devout Christian ought to live.2 Ah, how many evenings I've climbed into bed without first going down into the depths of my heart to search out my whole being and examine myself thoroughly. So often my bed has been my hell, and yet I've rested gently in it. (And still they say there's no soft rest in hell.)3 If God had brought me to judgment in the night, how would I have fared? As he finds me, so he judges me. Maybe a murderer slept beside me then; maybe a thief—yes, maybe even a devil.4
A Covenant of Heart-Watchfulness
The author resolves to make a covenant with his heart to purge it of hidden sins before resting, relying on God's mercy.
I shudder when I think of it. It's God's patience and pure mercy that I've escaped hell so often.✦ From now on I must be wiser; not every hour is the same. Heart, today I make a covenant with you: I won't go to bed unless I've first examined how you look.✦5 Are you a murderer? You won't sleep with me; separate yourself from the murderer, and then you may go to bed with me.6 Have you had anything evil in mind? Don't hide it—God knows you anyway.
Confession and Casting Cares on Jesus
The path to peace is found in honest confession to God and casting the burden of sin upon Jesus.
Fully confessed, fully absolved.7 Speak with David: "I have sinned against the Lord" (2 Sam. 12:13). 12:13. Then the Lord will answer you: "I have taken away your sin; you will not die." Why keep gnawing on the sin for so long!8 Cast it onto Jesus; let it seek its rights there, if it has anything left to say.9 You say: "I won't do it anymore"; that is the best repentance.
Read the original Latin
Furcht, o Graus!
Du zitterst, ich auch. Vor dem Teufel? ich nicht. Was kann mir der Teufel thun? Er sperrt den Schlund auf, muß mich doch nicht verschlingen; er geht um mich her, hat doch das Herz nicht, daß er zu mir eingehn darf wider meinen Willen. Er wirst Feur, ich lösche es aus mit dem Schild des Glaubens. Er beißt mich nicht, ich hab einen mächtigen Schutz. Aber weißt du, wovor ich erzittere?
ich will dirs sagen. Tauler spricht an einem Ort: Ich für meine Person sage ohne Scheu, wer nicht zum wenigsten alle Tag einmal nach allen Kräften sich kehrt zu dem Grund seiner Seelen und Gewissens, derselbe lebt noch nicht, wie ein frommer Christ leben soll. - Ach wie manchen Abend bin ich ins Bett gestiegen und bin nicht zuvor hinab gestiegen in die Tiefe meines Herzens, daß ich mein Wesen durchforscht und mich gründlich geprüft hätte. So oft ist das Bett meine Hölle gewesen und hab doch sanft darin geruht. (Sage noch, daß kein sanft ruhen in der Hölle sei.) Hätte mich Gott in der Nacht vor Gericht gezogen, wie wär ich gefahren? als er mich findet, so richtet er mich. Vielleicht hat dazumal ein Mörder bei mir geschlafen; vielleicht ein Dieb, ja vielleicht ein Teufel.
Ich erschrecke, wann ich dran gedenke. Gottes Langmuth und lautere Barmherzigkeit ists, daß ich so oft der Hölle bin entronnen. Hinfort muß ich klüger sein, alle Stunden sind nicht gleich. Herz den Bund mach ich heut mit dir: Ich will nie zu Bette gehn, ich habe denn beschaut wie du aussiehst. Bist du ein Mörder? bei mir sollst du nicht schlafen; trenne dich vom Mörder, so sollst du mit mir zu Bette gehn. Hast du was übels im Sinn gehabt? verhehl es nicht, Gott kennt dich doch.
Rund gebeichtet, rund absolvirt. Sprich mit David: Ich habe gesündigt wider den HErrn 2 Sam. 12, 13. so wird dir der HErr antworten: Ich hab deine Sünde weggenommen, du wirst nicht sterben. Was willst du dich lang mit der Sünde beißen! Wirf sie hin auf Jesum, laß sie da ihr Recht suchen, hat sie was zu sagen. Sprich du: Ich wills nicht mehr thun; das ist die beste Buße.
Scripture echoes
- ↩1Pet.5.8 — Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
- ↩Exod.34.6 — And the LORD passed before him and proclaimed, 'The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.'
- ↩Job.31.1 — I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze upon a virgin?
Notes
- 1 ↩Early modern wirst = wirft ('throws/hurls'); Feur = Feuer ('fire').
- 2 ↩"Grund seiner Seelen" is rendered as "ground of the soul," the standard English for Tauler's mystical Seelengrund—the inmost depth of the soul before God.
- 3 ↩Parenthetical 'Sage noch, daß...' can be read as an ironic maxim ('and still they say...'), a self-address ('tell yourself again...'), or an added instruction ('say further that...'). Rendered as ironic commentary on the soft rest just admitted in a 'hell' bed.
- 4 ↩"bei mir geschlafen" is taken as personified sin lodging with the sleeper (murderer, thief, devil as bedfellows of an unexamined heart), which the next section develops by addressing the heart itself as murderer.
- 5 ↩Archaic 'ich habe denn' = 'unless I have'; address is to the speaker's own heart as partner in nightly self-examination.
- 6 ↩Continues the address to the heart: murderous guilt may not rest with the self until it is renounced; 'so' marks the condition for peaceful rest.
- 7 ↩Rund here means thoroughly/completely, not 'round': a full confession receives full absolution.
- 8 ↩sich mit der Sünde beißen is idiomatic: not literal biting, but fretting, wrestling, or tormenting yourself over the sin.
- 9 ↩Legal imagery: cast the sin onto Christ and let it plead its case before him, if it still has a claim.
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