Cui loquendum
To Whom We Speak
Having chosen what to say, one must also discern to whom one speaks, for the wise receive correction with love while the wicked and scoffers only bring disgrace upon those who rebuke them.
It follows that once a person has chosen what to say, he should also pay careful attention to whom he says it. For as a certain wise person says, telling a word to someone who isn't listening is like trying to wake a sleeper out of a deep sleep. And again, don't talk at length with a fool, and don't keep company with a senseless person. And Solomon says, whoever rebukes a wicked person brings disgrace on himself.✦ Don't rebuke a scoffer, or he'll end up hating you.✦ Rebuke a wise person, and he'll love you.✦ Give a wise person an occasion, and wisdom will be added to him.✦ Teach a just person, and he'll hasten to receive it.✦
Seeking and Shunning the Depraved
Drawing on Ecclesiasticus, the text teaches that the good must sometimes seek out and sometimes avoid the wicked—seeking them when confident of one's own steadfastness and hoping to correct them, but fleeing when one's weakness risks corruption, and always choosing conversation partners who can edify or be edified.
But again, in the book of Ecclesiasticus, something has been said about the discernment needed in speaking: when you deal with an irreligious man, speak of holiness; with an unjust man, of justice; with a woman, about the things she envies; with a timid man, of war; with a merchant, of crossing the sea; with a buyer, of selling; with an envious man, of giving thanks; with an impious man, of piety; with a dishonorable man, of honor; with a farm worker, of every kind of labor; with a day laborer, of the completion of the year; with a lazy servant, of hard work. From this it can be understood that good people should sometimes seek out and sometimes avoid the company of the depraved. Good people should seek the company of the depraved when they hope that through their own exhortation those others can be corrected, and when they are so confident in their own steadfastness that they do not fear being corrupted by the wicked suggestions of those people. But when they consider both the hardness of those people and their own weakness, it is expedient for them to flee, lest — since they are unable to correct those people by their own admonitions — they themselves should gradually begin to drift toward the depravity of those others. Since, then, we speak for our own edification, let us speak with those whose teaching can instruct us in virtue. But since we speak for the edification of our neighbor, let us speak with those whom we hope, through our exhortation, can be amended from their own depravity. Otherwise, wanting to teach the wise is pride, and correcting the obstinate is foolishness. Because it is both unjust to the neighbor not to show reverence to a better person, and unjust to oneself not to amend but to provoke toward oneself the madness of a fool.
The Aim of Every Word
Before speaking, one must examine one's purpose—whether for one's own instruction or another's—and then match the remedy of speech precisely to the fault of the listener, directing each virtue to the soul that most needs it.
So when you speak with someone, first consider whether you're speaking for your own sake or for theirs. If you're speaking for your own benefit, make sure the person you're talking to is someone whose conversation can actually be of use to you. If you're speaking for the other person's sake, be careful that they're not someone who either doesn't need your encouragement or is so stubbornly set in their wrongdoing that they won't let themselves be corrected by anyone else's advice. If that's the case, then we should never speak except for our own instruction or for the instruction of others, and in our very speech we should exercise such discernment that we always make it our aim both to learn from those wiser than ourselves and to teach the less learned — but only those who are willing to be taught. And just as when we ask questions, we mainly ask about what presses on us most, so when we teach, we should put forward what best fits the person of the listener, so that we apply the right remedy from our speech against the fault we want to heal in them — as was said above: with the irreligious person, speak of holiness; with the unjust, of justice; with the lazy, of diligent work.1 We can easily recognize who we should be speaking to if we carefully consider the kind of thing we're saying, because what's most fitting to say to each person is whatever more effectively meets the particular fault they struggle with and offers the readier cure. For example, when we want to praise steadfastness, we should direct our words to the timid, not to the proud — because the fault of pride sometimes hides itself under the guise of steadfastness, and if we start praising steadfastness to the proud, thinking we're urging them to virtue, we only strengthen them further in their own vice. Let us encourage the timid to steadfastness, the proud to fear, the wasteful to frugality, the greedy to generosity, the harsh to kindness, the over-indulgent to self-control, the reckless to good counsel, the lukewarm to zeal for what's right, the talkative to silence, the overly reserved to the word of encouragement, the sluggish to eagerness, the impatient to gentleness, the careless to justice, the cruel to mercy, the shameless to modesty, the rash to calm, the heedless to prudence, the forgetful to diligence, and the brazen to propriety — and in general, whatever we want to say, let us first determine who needs to hear it from the very nature of what we're saying.
Read the original Latin
Sequitur ut postquam elegerit homo quid dicat, etiam cui dicat diligenter attendat. Quia sicut ait quidam sapiens: Qui narrat verbum non audienti, quasi qui excitat dormientem de gravi somno . Et iterum: Cum stulto ne multum loquaris, et cum insensato ne abieris . Et Salomon dicit: Qui arguit impium, generat maculam sibi. Noli arguere derisorem, ne oderit. Argue sapientem, et diliget te. Da sapienti occasionem, et addetur ei sapientia. Doce justum, et festinabit accipere .
Sed rursum in libro Ecclesiastico de discretione loquendi dictum est: Cum viro irreligioso tracta de sanctitate et cum injusto de justitia, et cum muliere de iis quae aemulatur, cum timido de bello, cum negotiatore de trajectione, cum emptore de venditione, cum viro livido de gratiis agendis, cum impio de pietate, cum inhonesto de honestate, cum operario agrario de omni opere, cum operario annuali de consummatione anni, cum servo pigro de multa operatione . Ubi intelligi datur quod boni pravorum colloquia aliquando appetere, aliquando vitare debent. Appetere debent boni pravorum colloquia, quando et sua exhortatione illos sperant posse corrigi, et tantum de sua stabilitate confidunt, ut non timeant ex illorum prava suggestione corrumpi. Quando vero et illorum duritiam et suam infirmitatem considerant, expedit eis ut fugiant, ne dum illos non valent admonitionibus suis corrigere, paulatim incipiant ipsi ad pravitatem illorum declinare. Cum ergo propter nostri aedificationem loquimur, cum illis loquamur quorum doctrina possimus ad virtutem instrui. Cum autem propter aedificationem proximi loquimur, cum illis loquamur quos speramus per nostram exhortationem a pravitate sua posse emendari. Alioquin et sapientes velle docere, superbia est, et obstinatos corripere, insipientia. Quia et injuriosus proximo est, qui meliori non exhibet reverentiam, et injuriosus sibi est, qui non emendat sed provocat erga se insipientis vesaniam.
Ergo qui cum alio loquitur primum consideret utrum propter se an propter illum loquatur. Si propter suam utilitatem loquitur, videat ut ille talis sit, de cujus colloquio utilitas sibi provenire possit. Si propter illum loquitur, caveat ne talis sit ille, qui vel sua exhortatione non indigeat, vel ita in malo obstinatus, ut exhortatione alterius corrigi se non permittat. Si ergo sic est, nunquam nisi vel ad nostri vel ad aliorum eruditionem loqui debemus, et in ipsa nostra locutione talem discretionem servare, ut semper studeamus et a sapientioribus discere, et minus doctos (ita duntaxat si se doceri patiantur) studeamus erudire. Et sicut interrogando, de illo potissimum quod nos magis urget verba facimus, sic docendo, illud quod magis personae auditoris congruit proferre debemus, ut contra vitium quod in eo sanare cupimus, competens nostri sermonis remedium opponamus, quemadmodum supradictum est: Cum irreligioso de sanctitate, cum injusto de justitia, cum pigro de multa operatione loquendum esse. Facile ergo cui sit loquendum agnoscimus, si id quod dicitur quale sit diligenter consideremus, quia id profecto unicuique magis dici convenit, quod ad illud, in quo ipse plus laborat, malum sanandum consilio commodiori occurrit. Verbi gratia, quando constantiam laudare volumus, ad pusillanimes non ad superbos sermonem nostrum dirigere debemus, quia cum vitium superbiae sub praetextu constantiae nonnunquam se contegat, si coeperimus superbis laudare constantiam, dum eos ad virtutem hortari credimus, amplius in suo vitio confirmamus. Exhortemur ergo ad constantiam timidos, ad timorem superbos, ad frugalitatem prodigos, ad liberalitatem avaros, ad humanitatem parcos, ad parcitatem gulosos, ad consilium temerarios, ad fervorem zeli tepidos, ad silentium verbosos, ad verbum exhortationis nimis tacitos, ad alacritatem segnes, ad mansuetudinem impatientes, ad justitiam negligentes, ad indulgentiam crudeles, ad verecundiam procaces, ad quietem praecipites, ad prudentiam incautos, ad sollicitudinem obliviosos, et ad modestiam inverecundos, et omnino quidquid dicere volumus cui dicendum sit, ex ipsa prius nostri sermonis qualitate colligamus.
Scripture echoes
- ↩Prov.9.8 — Do not rebuke a scorner, lest he hate you; rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.
- ↩Prov.9.8 — Do not rebuke a scorner, lest he hate you; rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.
- ↩Prov.9.9 — Give instruction to a wise person, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous person, and he will increase in learning.
- ↩Prov.9.9 — Give instruction to a wise person, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous person, and he will increase in learning.
- ↩Prov.9.9 — Give instruction to a wise person, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous person, and he will increase in learning.
Notes
- 1 ↩The concluding triad (cum irreligioso de sanctitate, cum injusto de justitia, cum pigro de multa operatione) echoes the passage from Sirach quoted in the previous section (InstN.1.14.2.s1). It is treated here as a deuterocanonical allusion carried forward without quotation marks, per deuterocanonical policy.
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