SR
← Dark Night of the Soul/Book 1 · Noche oscura del alma
Chapter 5NocheOscura.1.5

Libro Primero — Capítulo 2

The Hidden Pride of Beginners

The author identifies the subtle, dangerous manifestations of spiritual pride that often plague those just beginning their journey of devotion.

Some spiritual imperfections that beginners have regarding the habit of pride. 1. Since these beginners feel so fervent and diligent in spiritual things and devout exercises, from this very trait (though it's true that holy things of themselves humble us) there often springs up, because of their imperfection, a certain branch of hidden pride, from which they come to take some satisfaction in their works and in themselves. And from this there also arises in them a certain somewhat vain urge—and at times a very vain one—to talk about spiritual things in front of others, and even sometimes to teach them rather than learn them; and they condemn others in their hearts when they don't see them with the kind of devotion they would want, and sometimes they even say so out loud, resembling in this the Pharisee who boasted while praising God for the works he did and despising the tax collector (Lk. 18:11–12). 2. In many of them, the devil often increases the fervor and the urge to do more of these works and others, so that their pride and presumption will keep growing. He does this because he knows very well that all these works and virtues they perform not only do them no good, but actually turn into vice for them. Some of these people often sink so far into this evil that they don't want anyone else to look good but themselves; so, whenever the chance arises, they condemn and run others down in word and deed, staring at the speck in their brother's eye while never noticing the beam in their own (Mt. 7:3). They strain out someone else's gnat and swallow their own camel (Mt. 23:24). 23:24). 3. Sometimes, too, when their spiritual directors—confessors and prelates, for example—do not approve their spirit and way of going about things (because they want those directors to value and praise what they do), they decide that the directors do not understand the spirit, or that they themselves are not spiritual, since they do not approve of it and go along with it. And so they at once want and try to deal with someone else who suits their taste; because ordinarily they want to share their spirit with those they know will praise and value their doings, and they flee, as from death, from those who take them down in order to set them on a safe path—and they even sometimes take a grudge against them.1 In their presumption, they usually propose a great deal and do very little. They sometimes want others to notice their spirit and their devotion, and for this they sometimes put on outward displays—movements, sighs, and other ceremonies; and sometimes a few raptures, more in public than in private, which the devil helps them with; and they take pleasure in others noticing that, and often a greedy craving for it.2 4. Many people want to be first and enjoy special favor with their confessors, and from this, a thousand envies and restless feelings spring up in them.3 They're embarrassed to state their sins bare and plain, for fear their confessors will think less of them, and they dress them up so they won't look so bad—which is more going to excuse themselves than to accuse themselves.4 And sometimes they seek out another confessor to tell the bad things, so that the first one won't think they have anything bad, but only good; and so they always like telling him the good, and sometimes in terms that make it seem more rather than less than it is, wanting him to think well of them—though it would be more humility, as we'll say, to tear that image down and to want neither him nor anyone else to hold them in any regard.5 5. Some of these people make light of their faults, while at other times they become overly distressed when they see themselves fall into them. They think they should already be saints, and they get impatient and angry with themselves—which is, in itself, another imperfection. They often have intense, anxious longings for God to take away their imperfections and faults—more so to be free from the annoyance of them and to have peace than for God's sake—without considering that if He did take them away, they might easily become more proud and presumptuous.6 They are enemies of praising others and friends of being praised, and sometimes they even seek it; in this they are like the foolish virgins who, with their lamps gone out, looked for oil from outside (Mt. 25:8).

The Mark of True Humility

In contrast to the proud, the truly humble soul advances by counting itself as nothing and seeking only to serve God and others.

6. Of these imperfections, some end up having many of them very intensely, and with a great deal of harm from them; but some have fewer, some more, and some only the first stirrings or a little more; and there are scarcely any of these beginners who, in the time of these fervors, don't fall into something of this. But those who in this season are advancing in perfection proceed in a very different way and with a very different temper of spirit; because they profit much and are greatly built up by humility—not only counting their own things as nothing, but with very little satisfaction in themselves; they hold everyone else to be far better, and they usually feel a holy envy toward them, with a desire to serve God as they do; because the more fervor they carry, and the more works they do, and the more delight they take in them, as they go on in humility, the more they know how much God deserves and how little is everything they do for him; and so the more they do, the less they are satisfied. They want to do so much for Him out of charity and love that everything they accomplish seems like nothing to them. This concern of love so claims, occupies, and absorbs them that they never notice whether others are doing anything or not. And if they do notice, it is only to believe, as I said, that everyone else is far better than they are.7 From this it follows that, holding themselves of little account, they also desire that others hold them of little account and tear them down and undervalue their things.8 Furthermore, even if people want to praise and esteem them, they cannot believe it at all, and it seems strange to them that such good things should be said about them. 7. With great calm and humility, they deeply desire that anyone who can help them should teach them. This is the exact opposite of those we mentioned earlier, who want to teach everything themselves; even when someone tries to teach them something, they snatch the words right out of the other person's mouth as if they already knew it. But these, being far from wanting to be anyone's teachers, are very ready to walk and take a different path from the one they're on if they are told to, because they never think they get anything right. They rejoice when others are praised; their only sorrow is that they don't serve God as those others do. They don't want to talk about their own spiritual experiences, because they hold them in such low regard that they're even ashamed to tell their spiritual directors about them, thinking they aren't worth mentioning. They're more eager to speak of their faults and sins, or to have them known, than of their virtues; and so they're inclined to open their soul to those who think least of their gifts and their spirit—which is the mark of a simple, pure, and true spirit, and is very pleasing to God.9 For since the wise Spirit of God dwells in these humble souls, he at once moves and inclines them to keep their treasures hidden within in secret and to cast their evils outward. For God gives the humble this grace, along with other virtues, just as he withholds it from the proud (Jas. 4:6). 8. These will give the blood of their heart to anyone who serves God, and they will help, as far as it is in them, so that others may serve Him. When they see themselves fall into imperfections, they bear them with humility, gentleness of spirit, and a loving fear of God, while trusting in Him.

The Necessity of the Dark Night

Because few beginners naturally possess such perfection, God must lead them into the dark night to purify them of their remaining imperfections.

But souls who from the start walk in this kind of perfection are, I understand, as has already been said, the fewest, and very few; we would already be content if they did not fall into the opposite faults. That is why, as we will discuss later, God places those he wants to purify of all these imperfections into the dark night, so he can lead them onward.

Read the original Latin

De algunas imperfecciones espirituales que tienen los principiantes acerca del hábito de la soberbia

1. Como estos principiantes se sienten tan fervorosos y diligentes en las cosas espirituales y ejercicios devotos, de esta propiedad (aunque es verdad que las cosas santas de suyo humillan) por su imperfección les nace muchas veces cierto ramo de soberbia oculta, de donde vienen a tener alguna satisfacción de sus obras y de sí mismos. Y de aquí también les nace cierta gana algo vana, y a veces muy vana, de hablar cosas espirituales delante de otros, y aun a veces de enseñarlas más que de aprenderlas, y condenan en su corazón a otros cuando no los ven con la manera de devoción que ellos querrían, y aun a veces lo dicen de palabra, pareciéndose en esto al fariseo, que se jactaba alabando a Dios sobre las obras que hacía, y despreciando al publicano (Lc. 18, 11-12).

2. A éstos muchas veces los acrecienta el demonio el fervor y gana de hacer más estas y otras obras porque les vaya creciendo la soberbia y presunción. Porque sabe muy bien el demonio que todas estas obras y virtudes que obran, no solamente no les valen nada, mas antes se les vuelven en vicio. Y a tanto mal suelen llegar algunos de éstos, que no querrían que pareciese bueno otro sino ellos; y así, con la obra y palabra, cuando se ofrece, les condenan y detraen, mirando la motica en el ojo de su hermano, y no considerando la viga que está en el suyo (Mt. 7, 3); cuelan el mosquito ajeno y tráganse su camello (Mt. 23, 24).

3. A veces también, cuando sus maestros espirituales, como son confesores y prelados, no les aprueban su espíritu y modo de proceder (porque tienen gana que estimen y alaben sus cosas), juzgan que no los entienden el espíritu, o que ellos no son espirituales, pues no aprueban aquello y condescienden con ello. Y así, luego desean y procuran tratar con otro que cuadre con su gusto; porque ordinariamente desean tratar su espíritu con aquellos que entienden que han de alabar y estimar sus cosas, y huyen, como de la muerte, de aquellos que se los deshacen para ponerlos en camino seguro, y aun a veces toman ojeriza con ellos. Presumiendo, suelen proponer mucho y hacen muy poco. Tienen algunas veces gana de que los otros entiendan su espíritu y su devoción, y para esto a veces hacen muestras exteriores de movimientos, suspiros y otras ceremonias; y, a veces, algunos arrobamientos, en público más que en secreto, a los cuales les ayuda el demonio, y tienen complacencia en que les entiendan aquello, y muchas veces codicia.

4. Muchos quieren preceder y privar con los confesores, y de aquí les nacen mil envidias y desquietudes. Tienen empacho de decir sus pecados desnudos porque no los tengan sus confesores en menos, y van los coloreando porque no parezcan tan malos, lo cual más es irse a excusar que a acusar. Y a veces buscan otro confesor para decir lo malo porque el otro no piense que tienen nada malo, sino bueno; y así, siempre gustan de decirle lo bueno, y a veces por términos que parezca antes más de lo que es que menos, con gana de que le parezca bueno, como quiera que fuera más humildad, como lo diremos, deshacerlo y tener gana que ni él ni nadie lo tuviesen en algo.

5. También algunos de éstos tienen en poco sus faltas, y otras veces se entristecen demasiado de verse caer en ellas, pensando que ya habían de ser santos, y se enojan contra sí mismos con impaciencia, lo cual es otra imperfección. Tienen muchas veces grandes ansias con Dios porque les quite sus imperfecciones y faltas, más por verse sin la molestia de ellas en paz que por Dios; no mirando que, si se las quitase, por ventura se harían más soberbios y presuntuosos. Son enemigos de alabar a otros y amigos que los alaben, y a veces lo pretenden; en lo cual son semejantes a las vírgenes locas, que, teniendo sus lámparas muertas, buscaban óleo por de fuera (Mt. 25, 8).

6. De estas imperfecciones algunos llegan a tener muchas muy intensamente, y a mucho mal en ellas; pero algunos tienen menos, algunos más, y algunos solos primeros movimientos o poco más; y apenas hay algunos de estos principiantes que al tiempo de estos fervores no caigan en algo de esto.

Pero los que en este tiempo van en perfección, muy de otra manera proceden y con muy diferente temple de espíritu; porque se aprovechan y edifican mucho con la humildad, no sólo teniendo sus propias cosas en nada, mas con muy poca satisfacción de sí; a todos los demás tienen por muy mejores, y les suelen tener una santa envidia, con gana de servir a Dios como ellos; porque, cuanto más fervor llevan y cuantas más obras hacen y gusto tienen en ellas, como van en humildad, tanto más conocen lo mucho que Dios merece y lo poco que es todo cuanto hacen por él; y así, cuanto más hacen, tanto menos se satisfacen. Que tanto es lo que de caridad y amor querrían hacer por él, que todo lo que hacen no les parezca nada; y tanto les solicita, ocupa y embebe este cuidado de amor, que nunca advierten en si los demás hacen o no hacen; y si advierten, todo es, como digo, creyendo que todos los demás son muy mejores que ellos. De donde, teniéndose en poco, tienen gana también que los demás los tengan en poco y que los deshagan y desestimen sus cosas. Y tienen más: que, aunque se los quieran alabar y estimar, en ninguna manera lo pueden creer, y les parece cosa extraña decir de ellos aquellos bienes.

7. Estos, con mucha tranquilidad y humildad, tienen gran deseo que les enseñe cualquiera que los pueda aprovechar; harta contraria cosa de la que tienen los que habemos dicho arriba, que lo querrían ellos enseñar todo, y aun cuando parece les enseñan algo, ellos mismos toman la palabra de la boca como que ya se lo saben. Pero éstos, estando muy lejos de querer ser maestros de nadie, están muy prontos de caminar y echar por otro camino del que llevan, si se lo mandaren, porque nunca piensan que aciertan en nada. De que alaben a los demás se gozan; sólo tienen pena de que no sirven a Dios como ellos.

No tienen gana de decir sus cosas, porque las tienen en tan poco, que aun a sus maestros espirituales tienen vergüenza de decirlas, pareciéndoles que no son cosas que merezcan hacer lenguaje de ellas. Más gana tienen de decir sus faltas y pecados, o que los entiendan, que no sus virtudes; y así se inclinan más a tratar su alma con quien en menos tienen sus cosas y su espíritu, lo cual es propiedad de espíritu sencillo, puro y verdadero, y muy agradable a Dios. Porque, como mora en estas humildes almas el espíritu sabio de Dios, luego las mueve e inclina a guardar adentro sus tesoros en secreto y echar afuera sus males. Porque da Dios a los humildes, junto con las demás virtudes, esta gracia, así como a los soberbios la niega (Sant. 4, 6).

8. Darán éstos la sangre de su corazón a quien sirve a Dios, y ayudarán, cuanto esto es en sí, a que le sirvan. En las imperfecciones que se ven caer, con humildad se sufren, y con blandura de espíritu y temor amoroso de Dios, esperando en él.

Pero almas que al principio caminen con esta manera de perfección, entiendo son, como queda dicho, las menos y muy pocas; que ya nos contentaríamos que no cayesen en las cosas contrarias. Que, por eso, como después diremos, pone Dios en la noche oscura a los que quiere purificar de todas estas imperfecciones para llevarlos adelante.

Notes

  1. 1 ↩se los deshacen: literally 'undo/dismantle them' (their pretensions and self-opinion); rendered as 'take them down' in the sense of deflating spiritual pride so they can be set on a secure path.
  2. 2 ↩arrobamientos: mystical raptures/ecstasies; rendered as 'raptures' to keep the mystical sense without theatrical modern overtones. Final 'codicia' is elliptical in the Spanish (parallel with 'tienen complacencia'): they have pleasure in being noticed that way, and often greed/craving for that notice.
  3. 3 ↩Spanish 'preceder y privar con' is older idiomatic diction: to claim precedence and intimate favor with someone. Rendered as taking first place and enjoying special favor with confessors, not as physical exclusion alone.
  4. 4 ↩'Coloreando' is figurative: coloring/softening the confession. 'Empacho' is embarrassment or reluctance, not physical indigestion.
  5. 5 ↩'Deshacerlo' points to dismantling the good reputation they are cultivating before the confessor, not destroying the confessor relationship. 'Tener en algo' = hold in some account/regard.
  6. 6 ↩Spanish «ansias con Dios» names eager, restless pleading; rendered as "anxious longings toward God" rather than mere "desires," to keep the impatient self-interest John is diagnosing.
  7. 7 ↩Source pairs caridad y amor; rendered as charity and love to keep both surfaces without flattening into a single synonym.
  8. 8 ↩deshagan can mean tear down, undo, or break apart reputation; rendered as tear them down to keep the force of voluntary abasement without over-literalizing.
  9. 9 ↩"quien en menos tienen sus cosas y su espíritu": rendered as those who esteem their spiritual gifts and spirit least; the sense is preference for directors who do not inflate their self-regard.

Dark Night of the Soul companion

A daily portion of stillness

Chosen Portion delivers one short contemplative reading and a guided moment of silence each day — the ascent, one step at a time.

Chosen Portion is the paced doorway into this collection: it portions the dense mystical treatises into one daily reading plus guided silence, exactly as the 14-day plan teaches.

  • Daily bite-sized excerpts from the contemplative classics, never a wall of text
  • A built-in timed stillness practice that grows from 2 minutes to 10
  • Gentle progression through the tradition — the app remembers where you are on the ascent
Chosen Portion — Daily Prayer (free iOS app) →