Accidents d'amor: 6. De la oració que feu l'amic, a la mort
The Beloved Grants Time for Prayer
The Friend is granted a reprieve from death to pray, and he prepares himself with holy reverence to address his Beloved.
And they asked him to will that the roots of love not kill him until he had made his prayer; for prayer is a messenger that brings grace and pardon from the Beloved to the Friend.1 The Beloved consented that the Friend not die until he had prayed according to His will—with this condition, however: that he pray in holiness.2 2. The friend composed himself as best he could to pray to and adore his Beloved; for a man who prays to and adores so noble and so powerful a Beloved must be carefully ordered in making prayer, and one who is dying must not be negligent, at the end, in praying to God; for beyond the final end there is no comfort or remedy left by praying for the one who dies in mortal sin.34
The Posture of Humble Prayer
The Friend kneels in humility, lifting his heart, memory, understanding, and eyes to heaven, seeking mercy and cleansing.
3. The friend humbled his body and knelt, and with sighs he lifted his heart to his Beloved in order to love; and he set his memory to remembering the Beloved's mercy, and his understanding to understanding his Beloved's justice; and he lifted his hands to heaven, hoping for grace and pardon; and with weeping and tears he lifted his eyes to heaven so that water of mercy might come down from there and cleanse him of sins; and he said these words to the Beloved with all the greatest truth and humility he could put into them:
Asking According to the Beloved's Greatness
The Friend confesses his unworthiness but asks for eternal glory and forgiveness, not by his own merit but according to the Beloved's honor and mercy.
4. "Beloved," said the friend, "prayer is a petition to God that He give and forgive; and whoever asks God to give him eternal blessedness and glory cannot ask for a greater gift; and whoever asks mercy and forgiveness for his sins should ask with contrition, sorrow, and repentance for his sins."5 And for this reason, Beloved, I am not worthy to ask for these6 ij.7 so great gifts, for I am small because of sins, by birth and by nature; and so I do not ask in proportion to my condition, for I am not worthy to receive such great gifts. And You, Beloved, who give according to Your honor and dignity, give me eternal glory, and forgive me all my sins; for according to Your conditions, and not according to mine, I ask You for glory and forgiveness, sighing and weeping and remembering You, understanding and loving You, and crying out for mercy.89
The Beloved's Goodness Invites Bold Asking
The Friend argues that the Beloved's great goodness and mercy are more disposed to forgive great sins than small ones, so he asks for mercy according to the Beloved's nature.
5. "Beloved," the Friend said, "because of your great goodness, you are inclined to give great gifts rather than small ones, and because of your great mercy, you are more inclined to forgive greater wrongs, faults, and sins than lesser ones."10 And therefore, Beloved, even though I have few merits and am a great sinner because of my many serious sins, hear my prayers according to your nature, not mine.11
Love for Judgment and Desire for Glory
The Friend declares he will love the Beloved's judgment even if damned, yet he asks for paradise because his nature desires to see, love, and serve God forever.
6. Beloved, reason, justice, and truth compel me to love your judgment, even if you want to damn me for my sins and do not want to forgive me; and for this reason I consider myself bound to love all that you do with me, whether to save or to damn. And if I, Beloved, ask you for paradise, I ask it of you through mercy, generosity, compassion, and forgiveness; and because the nature of justice and reason makes me love to see, praise, love, honor, and serve you in glory, and the nature of desiring the good makes me desire your glory and makes me hate the pains of hell, which hinder the damned so that they cannot see, love, praise, honor, and serve you.12 And for this reason, Beloved, you must not take it as dishonor or as wrong if I ask you for your love and your glory—for which you created me—and if I ask you for mercy and forgiveness, so that I may see and love you, praise and bless you eternally without end.13
Mercy and Hope Cannot Be Idle
The Friend reasons that if it were wrong to ask forgiveness, the Beloved's mercy would be idle and hope would be false, so it is fitting for a sinner to ask for love and mercy.
7. Beloved, glorious and full of goodness: if it were reasonable and right not to ask you for forgiveness, your mercy would be idle among sinful people, and the hope you give to sinful people who look to you for mercy and compassion would be false and vicious, and would be neither true nor virtuous.14 And if no person, whether just or a sinner, were bound to ask you for glory, your generosity and your charity would be idle in you; and since that cannot be, what wonder if1516 j.17 a sinful person asks you for your love and your mercy and forgiveness?
Prayer Sustained by Love Until Death
Citing his own proverbs, the Friend offers all his love and promises to pray until death, concluding that his prayer and love oblige the Beloved to give and forgive.
8. Beloved, in the chapter on prayer that is in18 j.19 Beloved, in the chapter on prayer that is in the book of Proverbs I have made for your love, it says that whoever asks for a great good must have great love for the goodness of the lord he asks for the great good; and in another proverb it says that whoever asks his beloved for a great good to last should make his prayer last; and so now, at the point of my death, I give you all my love for loving your goodness; and if you let me live, until death I want to keep praying to you, praising and blessing you.2021 And since I, Beloved, do all that is in my power through prayer, reason and right require you to give me your gift and forgiveness; for if you didn't, I would be more just in praying to you and loving you than you in giving and forgiving, which cannot be; and because it cannot be, I cannot despair of your gift or your forgiveness.2223
The Giver Who Gives Without Being Asked
The Friend recalls that the Beloved gave him being and all creation without being asked, so he trusts that the Beloved will not withhold pardon and paradise now that he begs.
9. Beloved, overflowing with every good: you gave me being, and you gave me human being—which is the best created being there can be, apart from the angels—and you gave to the human being all bodily creatures to serve him; and you gave me this gift so great in this life without my asking you for it; rather, by your generosity, grace, and love, you chose to give it to me.24 And if you, Beloved, now at the point of death do not give me pardon and paradise—when I beg you and cry out for mercy as much as I can—you who are a greater giver when no one asks than when someone cries for mercy, and who give in this world, where giving is not worth as much as in the next—you would be completely turned away from your good ways, an overturning I cannot believe for any reason; so it is no wonder that I ask and hope from you for gift and pardon, for your love and for your good ways.25
The Ease of Giving and Forgiving
The Friend notes that giving and forgiving are as easy for the Beloved as asking is for him, and urges the Beloved to give and forgive according to His own nature.
10. Powerful Beloved, said the friend: if I asked you for a gift you couldn't give me, what wonder would it be if you didn't give it to me, since you couldn't give it to me?26 But giving and forgiving are as easy for you—and far better beyond all comparison—as asking and hoping from you for gift, mercy, and pardon are for me.27 And for this reason, Beloved, give and forgive, and don't look at whom you give and forgive, but look at how greatly it belongs to you to give and forgive.
The Hope of Being Loved in the Next World
The Friend argues that the Beloved, who gave Himself to be remembered and understood in this life, must also give Himself to be loved in the next, or His love would be inconsistent.
11. Virtuous Beloved, said the Lover: You have given yourself to be remembered and understood by me; and if you do not give yourself to me so that you may be loved by me in the next world—and in this world you have given yourself to me, insofar as you make me remember, understand, and love you—you are a greater giver in this life for loving than in the other, where I will not be able to love you if in this life you will not forgive me; and you love more, in this life, to be loved, understood, and remembered than in the other, in which you do not want to be loved by me, but only understood and remembered, if I am damned; and this cannot be, for neither your virtues nor your love require it; therefore I have complete hope in you that you will give to me and forgive me according to all my will.2829
The Prayer Cut Short by Fear
Fearing his enemies would accuse him of prolonging his life, the Friend stops his prayer, opens his mouth, and prepares to die for love.
12. The friend wanted to speak many other reasons and prayers to the Beloved, but he was afraid that his enemies, who had accused him to his Beloved, would bear false witness against him, saying that he was making a long prayer so as to prolong his life and not die; and he left off the prayer, opened his mouth, and thought he would breathe his last and die for love.30
Read the original Catalan
e quel pregassen que volgués que les rails d amors noi aucjessen tro que agués feta oració; car oració es missatge qui aporta de lamat a lanic gràcia e perdó. Consentí lamat que lamic no morís tro que hagués feta oració a sa volentat, ab taH condició, emperò, que la feés ab sanctetat.
2. Ordenàs lamic aitant com poc a pregar e aorar son amat; car home qui prega e adora tan noble e tan poderós amat, molt deu ésser ordonat en fer oració, e qui mor non deu ésser negligent, a la fi, en Deu pregar; car oltra la derrerana fi, no ha negú confort ni remey per pregar per aquel qui mor en mortal peccat.
3. Humilià lamic son cors, e estec agenoylat, e levà son cor ab sospiris' a son amat per amar, e sa memòria a remembrar la misericòrdia del amat, e son enteniment a entendre la justícia de son amat, e ses mans levà al cel per esperar gràcia e perdó, e sos uyls levà ab plors e làgremes al cel per so quen devalàs aygua de misericòrdia quel mundàs de peccats; e dix a lamat aquestes paraules ab tota la major veritat e humelitat que les poc dir:
4. Amat, dix lamic: oració es demanda que hom fa a Dieu que do e que perdó; e qui demana a Deu que li do benauyransa e glòria eternal, no pot querir major do; e qui demana de sos peccats misericòrdia e perdó, cove Arbre de Filosotia damor 171 que deman ab contricció dolor e penediment de sos peccats. E per aysò, amat, yo no son digne de demanar aquests . ij. dons tan grans, car poc son per peccats, per nativitat e natura; per que yo no deman segons comparació de mon estament, car no son digne de reebre tan grans dons. E vos, amat, qui donats segons vostra honor e dignitat, donatsme glòria eternal, e perdonatsme tots mos peccats; car segons Ics vostres condicions, e no segons les mies, glòria e perdó vos deman, suspirant e plorant e vos membrant entenent e amant e mercè clamant.
5. Amat, dix lamic: segons la vostra gran bonea sots condicionat a donar grans dons e no petits, e segons la vostra gran misericòrdia sots més condicionat a perdonar majors torts colpes e peccats, que menors. E per aysò, amat, jassia que jo sia poc per mèrits e gran peccador per grans e molts peccats, exoíts mes oracions segons vostres condicions, e no segons les mies.
6. Amat, raó justicia e veritat me costreny a amar vostre judici, sim volets dampnar per mos peccats e nom volets perdonar; e per aisò jutge mi metex a amar tot so que fassats de mi, sia per salvar o per dampnar. E si jo, amat, vos deman paradís, deman lo us per misericòrdia larguea pietat e perdonar, e car natura de justicia e rahó me fa amar en glòria vos veer loar amar onrar e servir, e natura de be desirar fa me vostra glòria desirar, e fam desamar les penes infernals, qui empatxen los dampnats que no poden vos veer amar loar onrar e servir. E per aysò, amat, nous ho deuets tenir a desonor ni a mal, si us deman vostra amor e vostra glòria, a que mavets creat, e si us deman misericòrdia e perdó, per so que us pusca veer e amar, loar e beneir cternalment sens fenir.
7. Amat gloriós e ple de bontat: si fos raó e dret no demanar a vos perdó, fóra la vostra misericòrdia ociosa en los homes peccadors, e la esperansa que donats als homes peccadors, qui esperen de vos mercè e pietat, fóra falsa viciosa, e no fóra vera ni vertuosa. E si negú home, que sia just o sia peccador, a vos glòria no degués demanar, fóra en vos ociosa vostra larguea e vostra caritat; e car aysò no pot ésser, quinha maravela si . j. home peccador vos demana vostra amor e vostra misericòrdia e perdó?
8. Amat, en lo capítol d oració, qui es en . j. libre que he fet de Proverbis, per vostra amor, se lig que qui demana gran be, deu aver gran amor a la bondat del senyor a qui demana lo gran be; e ligse, en un altre proverbi, que qui demana a son amat duració de gran be, que fassa durar sa oració; per que ara, en lo punt de ma mort, vos do tota ma amor a amar vostra bontat; e sim lexats viure, tro a la mort vuyl estar en vos pregar loar e beneir. E pus que jo, amar, fas mon poder per oració, raó e dret requer que vos me donets vostre do e perdó; car si no ho faíets,' jo seria pus just en vos pregar e amar, que vos en donar e perdonar, la qual cosa no pot ésser; e car no pot ésser, nom pusc desesperar de vostre do ni perdó.
9. Amat aondós de tots bens: tu mas donat ésser, e as me donat ésser humà, qui es lo melor ésser creat qui pot esser, enfora los àngels, e as donat a ésser humà tots los éssers corporals a él a servir; e aquest do tan gran mas donat en esta vida sens que jo noi te demanava; mas que tu, per ta larguea gràcia e amor, lo mas volgut donar. E si tu, amat, ara nom dones, en lo punt de la mort, perdó e paraís, com ten prec e ten clam mercè aitant com pusc, tu és major donador sens pregar, que ab mersè clamar, e dones en aquest mon, on no val tant donar com en lautre, e series tot enversat de tes bones costumes, lo qual enversament jo no pusc creure per ncguna re; per que no es maraveia sitdcman, e esper de tu, do e perdó per ta amor e per tes bones costumes.
10. Poderós amat, dix lamic: si jof demanava do que nom poguesses donar, quinya maraveia si noi me donaves, pus que noi me pogueses donar? Mas enaxí es a tu leugera cosa donar e perdonar, e molt mils sens tota comparació, com es a mi demanar e esperar de tu do misericòrdia e perdó. E per aysò, amat, dona e perdona, e no garts a qui dones e perdones, mas garda com molt te pertany donar e perdonar.
11. Vertuós amat, dix lamic: tu tés donat a ésser per mi membrat e entès; e si tu not dones a mi per so que sies per mi amat en lautre segle, e en aquest tés donat a mi, en quant me fas tu membrar entendre e amar, est major donador en esta vida per amar, que en lautra, on not poré amar, si en esta vida nom vols perdonar, e ames més en esta vida ésser amat entès e membrat, que en lautra, en qui no vols csser per mi amat, mas tan solament entès e membrat, si son dampnat; e asò no pot ésser, car no ho requeren tes vertuts ni ta amor; per que de tot en tot he esperansa en tu que mi dons em perdons a tota ma volentat.
12. Moltes daltres raons e oracions volc dir lamic al amat, mas ac paor que sos enemics, qui l avien acusat a son amat, no li alevassen fals testimoni, dient que él fahia longa oració, per so que alongàs sa vida e no morís; e lexàs de la oració, e obrí la boca, e cuydà espirar e morir per amor.
Notes
- 1 ↩Source reads 'lanic'; treated as 'lamic' (l'amic, 'the Friend'), parallel to 'lamat' elsewhere in the sentence.
- 2 ↩Source reads 'taH condició'; treated as 'tal condició' ('such/this condition'), an OCR/print corruption.
- 3 ↩Ordenàs may be imperfect subjunctive or a scribal/dialectal past form of ordenar; rendered as narrative past in line with neighboring preterites (Consentí…, Humilià…).
- 4 ↩"per pregar per aquel qui mor en mortal peccat" read as intercessory: after the last end, prayer for one who dies in mortal sin brings neither comfort nor remedy.
- 5 ↩Normalized reading omits the intrusive running head 'Arbre de Filosotia damor 171' between 'cove' and 'que deman'; intended sense: 'cove que deman ab contricció...'
- 6 ↩Sentence is truncated mid-phrase before 'dons tan grans' in s5; 'ij.' in s4 is likely a printer's signature interrupting the clause.
- 7 ↩Likely a printer's signature / folio mark, not authorial discourse; parallel artifacts appear elsewhere in this chapter (e.g. 'j.').
- 8 ↩Read 'segons Ics vostres condicions' as 'segons vostres condicions' / 'segons les vostres condicions'; 'Ics' appears corrupt (cf. parallel at 1.80.5.s3).
- 9 ↩'condicions' here means the Beloved's inherent dispositions/qualities by which He is disposed to give and forgive, not legal stipulations.
- 10 ↩Catalan 'sots condicionat a' is Llull's technical language of 'conditions' (essential properties that dispose a being to act): rendered here as 'disposed to,' keeping the parallel with 'condicions' in the next sentence.
- 11 ↩'Condicions' continues Llull's technical vocabulary from the preceding section: the Beloved's own attributes/nature, not the Friend's worthiness. Kept as 'conditions' for consistency with the chapter's recurring contrast.
- 12 ↩Old Catalan 'larguea' rendered as 'generosity' (liberality/bounty); 'pietat' as 'compassion' rather than civic piety; 'desamar' as 'hate' (un-love).
- 13 ↩Normalized reading takes source 'cternalment' as intended 'eternalment' ('eternally').
- 14 ↩Old Catalan 'pietat' rendered as 'compassion' (as in LlullArbreAmor.1.80.6); 'mercè' as 'mercy' alongside 'misericòrdia' earlier in the sentence.
- 15 ↩'larguea' rendered 'generosity' (cf. LlullArbreAmor.1.80.6); 'caritat' kept as 'charity' to distinguish from 'amor' ('love') in s5.
- 16 ↩Sentence is truncated after 'quinha maravela si'; continuous sense resumes after the intrusive 'j.' in s5.
- 17 ↩Likely a printer's signature / folio mark (or stray Roman numeral), not authorial discourse; interrupts 'si ... home peccador'. Parallel artifacts appear elsewhere in this chapter (e.g. 'ij.' at LlullArbreAmor.1.80.4).
- 18 ↩Sentence is truncated after 'qui es en'; continuous sense resumes after the intrusive 'j.' in s4 as 'in the book of Proverbs I have made…'.
- 19 ↩Likely a printer's signature / folio mark (or stray Roman numeral), not authorial discourse; interrupts 'en … libre que he fet de Proverbis'. Parallel artifacts appear elsewhere in this chapter (e.g. 'ij.' at LlullArbreAmor.1.80.4; 'j.' at LlullArbreAmor.1.80.7).
- 20 ↩'libre … de Proverbis' refers to Llull's own Book of Proverbs (Libre de proverbis), not the biblical Proverbs; 'se lig' / 'ligse' rendered as 'one reads'.
- 21 ↩Opening words complete the truncated clause from s2 ('qui es en …'); read continuously apart from the intrusive 'j.'
- 22 ↩Source reads 'amar' (not 'Amat'); taken as vocative 'Beloved', parallel to neighboring deathbed addresses in this chapter; less likely purpose-infinitive 'in loving'.
- 23 ↩Normalized reading ignores the stray quote after 'faíets,' as a non-textual artifact.
- 24 ↩Old Catalan aondós read as abundós, 'overflowing/abundant'; mas/as as fused clitic+haver forms (m'as/has).
- 25 ↩Normalized corruptions: ncguna→ninguna; sitdcman→si te deman; mersè→mercè; lautre→l'autre. Syntax of the long conditional read as: refusal at death would overturn the Beloved's character as freer giver without petition than with it, and as giver already in this lesser world.
- 26 ↩Normalized fused clitics: jof→jo·t; nom→no·m; noi→no·i; also quinya→quina, maraveia→meravella, pogueses→poguesses.
- 27 ↩do misericòrdia e perdó may be three coordinated gifts ('gift, mercy, and pardon') or 'the gift of mercy and pardon'; rendered as three nouns to keep each term visible, parallel to 'do e perdó' in the prior section.
- 28 ↩Source reading csser treated as corrupt for ésser ('to be'), the only sense that fits the clause no vols ésser per mi amat.
- 29 ↩Rendered as 'according to all my will' (petition measured by the Lover's whole desire). Could also be heard as 'with my whole will,' but the chapter's earlier oració a sa volentat favors the former.
- 30 ↩Old Catalan «cuydà» can mean either ‘thought/believed he would’ or ‘was about to’; rendered as ‘thought he would’ in light of the next chapter, where Love weeps because she thinks the friend is dying with his mouth open.
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